Long Slow Second Look

by Marilyn Lee

  Damn. What more could a man want from life than this sweet woman willingly surrendering herself for raw, passionate plunder?

  I held myself still inside her and took a few moments to enjoy feeling her wet, tight vaginal muscles adoring my cock as no other woman had before lifting my head from her breasts to kiss her until her mouth softened under mine and she parted her sweet lips and put her arms around my neck.

  "Oh lord, Johnny…Johnny! I've never felt anything that felt so good before. Love me…fuck me…make me and my pussy yours."

  "You're both mine," I groaned.

  "Prove it, Johnny mine."

  I did, fucking her hard and fast. Her response was everything I could have wanted: she met me thrust for thrust, raking her fingers alternately through my hair and over my shoulders as she sucked on my tongue.

  I savored the sheer heat and ecstasy being inside her raw gave me. I loved everything about this woman from her sweet lips to her large, natural breasts, and her exquisite pussy.

  Every second of being inside her sent tiny electrical shocks through my body and right down to my cock. I felt overwhelmed. Not just by physical pleasure but also by the strong emotional connection I felt. Each time making love to her was like experiencing sex for the first time.

  The sheer joy and wonder of being inside her humbled and excited me. I clutched her close, feeling totally lost in the mind-numbing experience of intimacy with a woman who totally enchanted me.

  I felt my orgasm quickly approaching as her tight, wet pussy cradled, massaged, and stimulated my cock until I couldn't hold back a thunderous release any longer.

  Dragging my mouth away from hers, I buried my lips against her neck and sucked hard as I came, filling her pussy with blast after blast of my seed.

  To my relief, she came seconds after me.

  Feeling physically and emotionally drained, I eased out of her and sat on the floor, leaning against the wall.

  She sat beside me.

  I could feel her gaze on me, waiting for me to speak. I felt totally awed by what I'd just experienced. Besides, what the hell could I say after I'd again allowed my cock to do my thinking for me?

  "Aren't you a little old to keep trying to knock me up against the nearest wall every time we're alone, John?"

  I laughed because for one of the few times in my life I felt at a loss for words with a woman.

  "No. I'm serious, John," she said in a quiet voice.

  I sighed. "As I've pointed out on more than one occasion, I have two kids who are almost grown."

  "Meaning what? You don't want anymore?"

  "Meaning I am not trying to knock you up."

  "Yeah. I think you must be because you seem content to keep engaging in unprotected sex as if there can't possibly be any unwanted consequences."

  She'd engaged in it with me. I turned my head to look at her. "You're on birth control."

  "Am I?"

  I narrowed my gaze. "You told me you were."

  "What if I'm not?"

  "Why would you lie to me, Amber?"

  She shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe for financial reasons."

  "What?"

  "I've seen how you dress, the kind of car you drive, and the condo you live in. What if I'm not taking any birth control measures and the idea of getting pregnant by a rich man appeals to me? What then, John?"

  She wouldn't be the first goal digger I'd bedded but I knew it would sting like hell if her interest didn't extend beyond my bank account. What was even more troubling was the fact that I was prepared to deal with and accept that eventuality if I had to. "I've already told you I'm willing to give you anything you want within reason, Amber. That hasn't changed. If you want a new car, a new house…name it."

  She shook her head. "I'm not after your money, John."

  Thank God! "Then what's this conversation about?"

  "The need for you…for us both to be more responsible…and the fact that I'm beginning to feel like a whore you don't even have to take to bed, but one you can push up against the nearest wall and–"

  "What the fuck, Amber? You can choose to feel like that or you can realize that I mean no disrespect…that you've twisted my commonsense into knots so small and intricate that I find rational thought nearly impossible." I took her hand in mine and held it against my chest. "When I'm with you, my senses are on overload and I just…I stop thinking and I just feel…the need to be inside you…it feels almost like an ache that I can't appease."

  She stared at me and then leaned forward and placed her head on my shoulder. "Oh, John."

  I put my free arm around her and kissed her hair. "Are you on birth control?"

  "Yes." She drew away and looked at me. "But if we're going to continue to see each other in the short term, you need to take some responsibility too. You can't just depend on me to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. You have to be an active participant as well."

  "Meaning you want me to use a condom?"

  "Meaning I insist you use one or go find yourself a woman who won't care if you do or don't."

  She would say that after she'd hooked me on raw sex with her. "Don't you think it's a little late to try to put the horse back in the barn, Amber? We've had sex raw three times. I don't know about you, but its felt better each time for me."

  "We're both old enough to know we can't keep doing something just because it feels good or we want to. If you're not willing to behave like a responsible, adult male who is not interested in fathering any more children, I suggest you find someone else it feels good with."

  "There's no one else I want to share it with, Amber."

  "You should know that if I get pregnant, you'll be a father again whether you like it or not because I would have and keep the baby and expect you to do your part."

  "I know the possible consequences of unprotected sex. If I weren't prepared to accept them, I would have used a condom."

  "While I'm relieved to hear that, if it's all the same to you, John, I'd prefer not to be a single mom. And what about the woman you were with last night?"

  "What about her?"

  "Did you go raw with her too?"

  "What the hell do you think I am? An idiot? I used a condom–for all the good it did me. I meant it when I told you it was only with you that I wanted to go raw."

  "It doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you're acting like, John. And that's an irresponsible teenager. So if you're not prepared to promise me you won't try to coerce me into unprotected sex again, then do us both a favor and leave now and please don't contact me again."

  I'd never been fond of women who think they could get away with issuing ultimatums they're not prepared to back up. That combined with the fact that I felt she was using the emotions I'd been foolish enough to admit I felt against me, pissed me off.

  "Fine. Have it your way."

  "What?"

  I suppressed the urge to make a snide remark about her continuing her pursuit of the damn ass she'd been chasing for a year. Although I was angry, I didn't want to hurt her. But I wasn't prepared to deal with a damned ultimatum from her.

  I rose, pushed my cock back in my pants, and left. I have to admit, I half-expected her to make an effort to convince me to stay. If she had I would probably had gone down on my knees begging for a chance to redeem myself.

  Apparently, she was as hard ass as I was. She said nothing to give me an excuse to stay. I left feeling far more wounded than I should have.

  Chapter Seven

  Amber

  It's hard to describe what I felt after John left. Actually, it felt more like he'd walked out on me. How did a man go from using what he called a special endearment to walking out on you in the span of an hour? I wanted to have a good cry, but resisted the urge. I was not going to shed a single damn tear over a man who insisted I continue to have unprotected sex with him without even the flimsiest commitment from him.

  Full-figured and plain I might have been but I had not been raised to allow any man to treat me like
his whore. That's what I felt I'd allowed him to do–and probably ruined any chance I had with Deandre in the process.

  There was no way I would be in any shape to go out with Deandre that night. Even if I forced myself to see him, he'd probably ask me about John. Of course I'd have the option of politely telling him it was none of his business, but such a response was almost sure to tank a budding relationship.

  Not that I cared what Deandre thought. How could I after feeling John's bare cock branding each inch of my pussy as his private property? Even though I tried to tell myself I had to get back on track with him, I had zero interest in Deandre.

  I got up and showered. Then feeling in need of a strong shoulder to cry on, I did what I would have thought of as the unthinkable just two weeks earlier, I called Darkwater.

  He listened in silence until I finished speaking.

  I waited for a lecture about the stupidity of being intimate with strange men who had no interest or desire in a real relationship with me.

  "I'll see you in half an hour." He said and hung up.

  I frowned and paced my living room until he arrived. Then I was sorry I'd given into the impulse to call him. He hadn't read me the riot act on the phone but he damn sure would read it to me in person.

  Growing up my sisters and I had resented him because he was always dispensing brotherly advice that we didn't want to hear because he wasn't really our brother. But if anyone could provide advice on how to handle a man like John, it would be Darkwater, who shared a common culture with him. Having recently sold a successful internet startup business he'd co-created four years earlier, he was now a multimillionaire at forty years old.

  Like John, Darkwater was a tall, well-built man who possessed enough self-confidence for two or three men. He'd know how I could extricate myself from the mess I was in with John, who I still wanted as much as I had two days earlier.

  Darkwater arrived with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I felt so raw, I took one look at the flowers, thought of the man we'd both called father who had died two years earlier who often sent the women in his life flowers, and tossed myself into his arms.

  He held me until I blew out a breath and pulled away from him. Still he said nothing. His silence somehow encouraged me to talk. So I did. Looking back, I can't believe how freely and easily I told him things I'd have been hesitant to tell anyone but Sher and one of my sisters.

  "Do you love him, Am?" he asked in a quiet voice that invited continued confidence sharing.

  "I only met him Friday."

  "I know, but do you love him?"

  I shook my head. "What makes you think I love him?"

  "You've always insisted I stay out of your personal life and I've certainly never seen you in tears over a man. What do you and Abbe say? 'Kick his ass to the curb there's another just around the corner?'" he said, referencing my oldest sister's refrain when a romance went wrong.

  I'd shed a tear or two but never in front of him or after such a short association with a man. "Well, I'm not as young as I used to be. I'll be thirty-three next year and—"

  "That's hardly old-maid territory."

  "It's starting to feel like it."

  "So are you in love with him?"

  I thought of the dull pain that seemed to have settled in my bones after he walked out. If it wasn't love, it was close enough. "I don't know what I feel…" I sighed.

  "Did you just need to talk or shall I go find him and plant my foot up his ass?"

  John was a big, muscular man but Darkwater was a few inches taller and probably twenty or more pounds heavier. He also had the advantage of having won a full wrestling scholarship that paid his way through college. He'd kept in shape and didn't have an ounce of excess weight.

  "No!" I turned to face him and gripped his arm. "No."

  "No to which question, Am?"

  "No, don't…keep your size thirteen feet away from his ass."

  He inhaled. "So you love him?"

  "Just because I don't want him hurt doesn't mean I love him."

  "But you do." He caressed my cheek. "I can't make him love you too, Am, but I can and will damn well make sure he doesn't mistreat you." He rose. "Where can I find him?"

  I reached up to grab his hand and tried to pull him back down onto the loveseat. "Darkwater–"

  He shook his head and refused to sit down. "He's not going to fuck you over, Am."

  Looking up at him and seeing the determination in his gaze, I was thankful I hadn't told him the sex had been unprotected. As it was, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep him from a physical confrontation with John.

  "Please, Thomas. I made a stupid mistake with him, but I don't want you confronting him. I need to move on. I shouldn't have called you."

  "Why did you?"

  I shrugged, feeling close to tears again. "I just wanted my big brother's shoulder to cry on."

  Staring up at him, I saw his expression soften and felt the tension leave the hand I gripped. "Oh, Am. Honey, that's the first time I've ever heard you acknowledge that I am your brother. I know we've often butted heads, but I couldn't love you any more if we actually shared a blood tie."

  Darkwater's never been given to displays of emotion or verbal affection. Hearing the feeling in his voice and seeing the look in his eyes not only touched me but also filled me with regrets.

  "I'm sorry."

  "For what?"

  "For all the times I angrily rebuffed your attempts to give me advice I knew you felt was in my best interests. I'm admitting now what I've always known in my hearts of hearts…you're the best big brother any one could ask for."

  He sank back on the loveseat beside me and embraced me. "Oh, Am, I'd given up ever hearing you say anything like that. Don't tell the others, but you've always been my favorite and the one I longed for acceptance from the most."

  We laughed and clung to each other. As we did, I realized how I'd shortchanged myself for years by not taking advantage of the love and support he'd always shown himself willing to give. Yes, he was opinionated, but so was I. And he had the benefit of having lived eight years longer than I had.

  Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks–this time for all the grief I'd given him when he'd only wanted to be a supportive brother.

  He released me and wiped my damp cheeks. "Are you sure you don't want me to kick his ass?"

  "I don't want him hurt."

  "Even if I don't kick his ass, I can't promise one of the other guys won't."

  The other guys in question were Darkwater's brothers Jeff, Mike, David, and Cody. "I told you in confidence," I said, feeling desperately afraid at the thought of the five Darkwater brothers gunning for John. "Please don't tell them."

  He sighed. "I'll keep your confidence for now, Am, but I'm warning you I won't allow him to piss on you and treat you like a…none of us will allow that. If you take his dumb ass back, you need to make that clear to him or I will. If he doesn't treat you right he's going to find himself in need of surgery to repair several broken bones."

  I shivered. I knew he meant it.

  He glanced at his watch. "Now if you're okay I need to leave for a while, but I thought it would be nice if we had dinner together tonight."

  While I didn't feel like doing anything but staying home and having a good cry, I wanted to nurture and embrace our new understanding. "Okay."

  He glanced at his watch. "I'll pick you up at six."

  "I'll be ready."

  When he left, I called and left a message on Deandre's voicemail telling him I was no longer available to see him that day.

  * * *

  John

  "You're really going to have to face facts, Johnny."

  Stretched out on a lounger on Shane's balcony two hours after I'd left Amber, I'd already had time to regret my response to her perfectly reasonable request. "And what facts would those be, Shane?"

  "First, she was right and you were wrong."

  I nodded. "Tell me something I don't already know."

&n
bsp; "Then why the hell did you walk out on her?"

  I turned to stare at him on the lounger beside me. "I didn't walk out on her. I left to cool my head before I said something I couldn't take back."

  "Hmm. I'll bet she thinks you walked out on her."

  I silently acknowledged that he was probably right. "Given my mood, staying wouldn't have been a good idea."

  "Then you should have told her you needed a cooling off period. You know how fragile a woman can get when she knows she's given it up too often and too quickly."

  I clenched my right hand into a fist. "How many times are you going to imply she's easy, Shane?"

  "Look, Johnny, what would you call a woman who allows a man she's known one day to fuck her raw? I call that easy or—"

  "Fuck you!"

  "Or a woman who fell in love at first sight… if you believe in such shit."

  "I don't."

  "Neither do I," he said. "So what explanation can you offer for her behavior?"

  I felt angry, raw, and confused by my behavior since I'd met Amber. The last thing I needed was for him to make things worse for me when all I wanted was a listening, non-judgmental ear.

  I stretched out my foot and kicked his lounger. "I don't have to offer you any explanation, you asshole. And I'm warning you, Shane. Call her easy again and you're going to find yourself getting up off the ground." I rose from the lounger and stormed inside, afraid I'd take a swing at him.

  He followed me.

  I swung around to stare at him. "I'm really not in the mood to listen to any more shit from you about a woman you've never met."

  He held up his hands, palms outward. "Understood."

  I sighed and walked across the room to sit on the loveseat. "I hate this feeling."

  "What feeling?"

  "She makes me feel like a horny teenager crushing for the first time."

  He sat opposite me on the sofa. "That's probably because you're in love for the first time."

  "I am not in love with a woman I met two days ago, Shane."