There would be no lashing vines for me.
I said, “I can go to Olander, surrender myself, and he’ll leave Starsgard alone.”
Snowboy and Rift both spoke at once, arguing with me, while Blaze hovered in the background. “No. There’s no way we’ll ever let you do that.”
Quake calmed them as much as he could. “Brothers. Please.”
He knelt down to me, stooping so we were eye to eye, his big torso hunched over. “If you go back to Evereach and give them the weapon they crave, what will be the outcome?”
“He’ll leave Starsgard alone.”
“But what about the rest of the world?”
I ground my teeth together. “Don’t make me care about strangers, Quake.”
“Okay then, little sister. Let me tell you what will happen if you return to Evereach. First, Evereach will bleed you dry to create their weapons. Then, they will send nuclear bombs to split open the earth that protects Seversand’s people in their underground pods of stone. They’ll send countless drones, each one armed with mortality weapons. They’ll fire on every Seversandian civilian they can. But in the meantime, Seversand will quietly deploy its own weapons. While Evereach revels in what it thinks is victory, the Devourers—the very machines Seversand uses to chew through rock—will make their way underneath the ocean and Evereach will never see them coming. As soon as Evereach thinks it has won, Seversand will strike from beneath its very feet. Thousands of Seversandian warriors, not drones, will spill out of the machines and cut down Evereach with blades dipped in mortal poison. There will be blood on sand and earth alike.”
He shifted, the muscles of his bare arms bunching, his gaze piercing. “But what then? Having tasted dying blood, do you believe that Seversand will be satisfied with conquering Evereach? Or will it turn its gaze upon Starsgard?” He pulled me to my feet, forcing me to stand. “From the day we were born, we were in danger. Every battle must be fought, not surrendered.”
I hugged him and his big arms dwarfed me. “Thank you, Quake.”
“Besides,” he said, reminding me with one eyebrow raised, “if you leave we’ll be bear fodder within days. And I might have to take some extreme earthquake measures.”
I shuddered. I had no good choices. “I know I can’t give myself up, but I just … I can’t stay here and do nothing either.”
“Olander wants to flush you out.” Quake squeezed my shoulder. “The best thing you can do for everyone is to stay hidden.”
“But—”
“Quake’s right.” Snowboy’s pale eyes shone in earnest. “If you show yourself, you’ll prove that Starsgard lied.”
Blaze had swiveled in his chair and met my eyes across the distance. “Ava, you’ve spent all this time protecting other people. Let Starsgard protect you for once.”
The only person I’d allowed into the position of protecting me was Michael and in the end I’d failed him. Tears sprung to my eyes. “It’s really hard for me to do that. I’m fighting everything inside myself right now. I want to go charging across the border to Evereach and blow them all to shreds.”
“I know it’s hard,” Rift said. “Believe me, I know. But there’s more than a battle at play here. Olander’s playing the long game—the fact that he hasn’t gone all out and attacked Starsgard already shows that he has some kind of plan and I’m betting that not all of it is warfare. The Councilors know about the cure now. They aren’t defenseless. And if they come after the source … Well, we’ll deal with that if it happens. For now, let them do what they need to do.” He squeezed my hands. “But I promise you … we promise you … that when the time comes to fight Olander, we’ll be beside you.”
My brothers were the only thing that kept me grounded right then. Tears spilled down my cheeks. “I hear you.” I gripped their hands as tightly as I could. “I hear you. And I promise I’ll stay put, but I can’t promise I’ll find it easy.”
“You wouldn’t be who you are if you did,” Rift said, his expression grim.
When I left the room, my tears had dried, but the pain in my chest was just as sharp as when I’d watched the drone fire the bullet. I paused halfway down the corridor, balancing against the wall, trying to breathe out the turmoil inside me—the closest I’d come to hating someone. Olander. But my brothers had promised to fight with me when the time was right. I had to wait… As I regained my balance and headed farther down the corridor, their quiet conversation reached me from the room I’d left behind.
Quake murmured, “She’s fighting her inner nature with every breath she takes.”
Snowboy murmured agreement. “We need to find a way to get her to Michael. It’s killing her being apart from him. And … like it or not, he’s probably the only immortal who might side with us.”
My legs wobbled, but I kept moving.
Chapter Eighteen
E ACH WEEK , the attacks continued. Always it was a southern tower and always the Starsgardians were ready. Every time, they were masked and I couldn’t pick Michael out. Every time, there was a fatality and the Starsgardians pulled the mortally injured person inside. The drones never followed the same pattern, never attacked at the same time of day or in the same way. Sometimes they focused on the tower, other times they attacked the people. Sometimes they attacked with their tethers, using them like whips, and other times with their cannons. Every time, a Starsgardian faced death.
I could no longer watch the battles.
Midwinter was only two weeks away and Olander had promised a full-scale attack if Starsgard didn’t hand me over. I buried my anxiety in work—as the harsh chill of winter crept into the trees and the tower, I threw myself into helping fortify the animals’ shelters against the approaching freeze. Even the magnolia tree lost most of its leaves, but its one dark branch remained decorated with scorpions.
When the other work ran out, my surveillance trips were the only things that kept me sane. I ran through snow flurries and past trees turned ghostly white with ice. I’d venture up the slope, hoping that Glacier might come down to the tower if she saw me. I tried calling to her, humming the same tune Snowboy had—the leopard’s call—but I guessed she was hiding away in safety with her new family. As the snow thickened, I pushed through it, trying to rid myself of the nervous energy raging inside me.
Each day I pushed the limit of my endurance and the boundaries I’d set for myself, traveling farther and farther from the tower, some days only making it back in time for dinner. Some days not even that. But the next day, I’d go out again, running faster, pushing farther, miles building upon miles, waiting for the moment I’d push it too far. Waiting for the day I’d stumble into the heart of bear territory.
One night, I crept back into the tower close to midnight, intent only on crawling into bed and sleeping, but Snowboy waited quietly in the chair in the corner of my room. It looked as if he’d fallen asleep waiting for me, but he opened his eyes as soon as I set foot in the room.
“Hi,” he whispered, pushing back the blanket he’d pulled over himself. He took in my snowsuit and the goggles in my hands. “We need to talk.”
I worried at my lip. “I know it’s late…”
He put a finger to his lips and gestured to my bed. To my surprise, there was a mound in it and, when I leaned over, I found Pip snuggled inside my blankets.
“He was worried about you,” Snowboy explained, stretching. “We all are. Let’s talk in the dining room.”
I followed him out, trying to quell the guilt rising up inside me. “I know I’ve been out a lot,” I said as Snowboy pulled up a chair for me. “I just … I can’t sit and wait. I have to do something.”
He didn’t answer for a moment, instead bringing two cups from the kitchen filled with warm cocoa. He placed them onto the table next to an object that was covered in cloth. “Quake kept these warm for us.”
Food was Quake’s way of caring for people. He must have known Snowboy was going to talk to me and the warm chocolate was his way of helping both of us. I wrapped
my fingers around the cup, realizing how cold I was and how much I welcomed the warmth. I made a mental note to take more nectar with me next time. I hadn’t made it quite as far as the other side of the snow belt this time, but I’d come close before I’d turned back. “I really didn’t mean for you to worry.”
He took a sip before leaning forward. “We aren’t worried that you’ll be hurt. We’re worried for you in here.” He pressed his hand to his chest where his heart was. “I want to say something and I want you to hear me out. I know you’ll want to speak, but just listen, okay?”
“Okay.”
“We want this place to be your home. Not your cage.”
“Snowboy, no, I don’t feel that way, really—”
He raised an eyebrow at me, patiently waiting. “You promised you’d hear me out.”
“Sorry,” I said in a small voice. “I promise I will.”
He gave me another moment. Seeming satisfied that I’d honor my word, he continued. “Ava, you’re the sister we never had. You’re the healing balm on wounds that Rift never talked about before you got here. You’re the big sister that Pip always wanted. Your presence is precious to us. Beyond words. But right now you’re caught between two very bad choices.
“You’re the only reason the bears don’t attack us. The marsh plant doesn’t repel them anymore. The only thing keeping them away is you.” He took another deep breath. “But there’s a fight coming. And you can’t watch from the sidelines. Right now we don’t know what kind of defensive action the Councilors are planning to protect Starsgard at midwinter. They don’t talk aboveground anymore. But we can’t help them unless we have better information.”
He met my eyes. “There’s only one person who can give us the information we need. Only one person it would be safe for us to contact. And it just so happens that person also needs to know the truth.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “You mean Michael.”
He nodded and his hands covered mine. My palms were so small inside his. I was so small and yet I was the only thing standing between my brothers and danger. Even as hope leaped inside my chest, fear for my brothers destroyed it. “You want me to find Michael and talk to him.”
“It’s the only way.”
I wanted to say yes. I wanted to ignore the bears, pretend they didn’t exist, jump up right then and go to Michael. I was fast and strong. I could slip quietly into places and quietly out of them in the same way that Snowboy had avoided detection when he’d come south to find me. My brothers had taught me everything they knew. I could find Michael and bring him home with me and…
But I couldn’t. Because of the bears.
“Maybe I could kill them all. The bears, I mean.”
He gave me a discouraging look.
I remembered how much damage I’d done to the bear marked with the number nine and how much I regretted it. “No, you’re right. I couldn’t. They haven’t done anything wrong. They didn’t choose to be created the way they are.” I would defend myself and my brothers, but I could never attack the bears in cold blood.
“Ava, we think there’s a way for you to see Michael and we can still be safe. You’ve already figured out that if you leave the tower, there’s a window of time before the bears realize you’re gone. I think you’ve been testing that for a while now.”
I didn’t deny it. Each day I’d tried to discover the point at which the bears decided I wasn’t near enough to be a threat any longer.
Snowboy said, “But until now, Michael has been too far south to even try it. Then the other day, Ruth let something slip when she was talking with Ricardo. She said she was sending Michael to Tower 148.”
I ran through a mental map of Starsgard’s towers. Number 148 was the most northern tower on the border between Starsgard and Evereach. It wasn’t as far north as some of the other towers, but it was close.
Snowboy continued. “If you move fast, you could be there and back in less than a day. The leopards can get you across the mountains and then you’ll have to run for it on foot, but I know you can do it. He’s arriving around the middle of the day and leaving again tomorrow night. If you go early in the morning you’ll get there in time, but also not so early that you have to hide and wait for him. The longer you’re there, the more chance you’ll be discovered.”
I could barely speak. The possibility of seeing Michael the next day…
“Ava, he’s never been this close before.”
“But the bears, Snow. A day is too long.”
“If they attack, we’ll fight them off. If we’re prepared, we can fight for hours. We’ll keep fighting until you get back.”
A terrified laugh tore out of me. “No, Snow. You … I can’t take that chance…”
“You have to, Ava. Each one of us would take that chance if it were ours. If this was Rift’s sister, he’d run this very second and he wouldn’t look back until he brought her home with him, and we’d fight anything—anything —to make that happen for him.”
There was unbreakable belief in his eyes. “You have a chance. Your chance is now.”
“How will I know you’re okay? I can’t leave and not know what’s happening.”
“We knew you’d be worried about us, so Rift’s been working on something.”
He removed the cloth from the object on the table and showed me. It was a mechanical bird. Next to it was a device the size of a phone with a screen. “He fixed one of the cameras.”
I stared in amazement. “He fixed one of the birds? But he hates those things.”
“He hates the thought of you not going because of us.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Snowboy said, “We’re going to attach it at the front of the tower so you can see what’s going on. It’s not a full view of the whole area, but we promise to give you a wave every now and then. If the bears attack, we’ll draw them there so you know what’s going on. Okay? Just be as fast as you can. Don’t think about anyone else. You can do this.”
“I can,” I whispered. Then I nodded. “I can.”
Suddenly, the whole world opened up before me. I was going to see Michael. I couldn’t wait to hold his hand, hug him, tell him what had happened. I swallowed a lump in my throat.
“Okay then. Sleep now and in the morning everything will be ready for you. Quake has already prepared a pack of supplies and the leopards are waiting under the tree.” He gestured inside the kitchen to where the corner of a pack peeked out at the doorway and I couldn’t believe how thoughtful they’d all been.
He gave me a stern look that morphed into a smile. “I expect you to be gone by the time I wake up in the morning. That should time your arrival at Tower 148 safely.” He took a deep breath before squeezing my hands a last time. “Run and run fast.”
As I made my way back to my room, I didn’t know how I’d fall asleep. My heart was pounding and my head was dizzy with hope.
Pip snuffled as I slipped in beside him, snuggling close, and for a moment I was filled with dread. I didn’t know what would happen while I was gone. I’d made it almost to the edge of the snow belt that day and nothing bad had happened, but once I left the snow belt, the bears would surely sense it. If anything happened to my brothers…
I shook off my fear and focused on Pip’s steady breathing, drawing strength from his peaceful calm and before I knew it, I was asleep.
Chapter Nineteen
F IVE HOURS later , I awoke.
Pip mumbled as I slid out of bed. “Don’t worry, Ava, I’ll be listening for the bears.” His eyes opened for a moment and he yawned before turning over and pulling the blanket with him. I kissed his forehead and reached for my nectar pouch. I headed to the bathroom and emerged dressed in a new snowsuit.
Be gone before I wake up , Snow had said. I gobbled a couple of oat bars and a glass of milk before grabbing the pack Quake had prepared and heading aboveground to find the leopards playing with their kittens beneath the bare branches of the magnolia tree.
Glacier jumped to her feet, alert as soon as she saw me. Her fur was glossy in the fading moonlight. If I left now, I’d beat the sunrise. I bent to stroke her neck as she purred, not wanting to separate her from her kittens.
“You stay with your kittens. I can run.” But Avalanche was having none of that. Apparently, he and Snowboy had some kind of psychic connection because he barreled into me, insistently nudging me with his head.
“All right, all right.” I laughed and said to Glacier: “I’ll bring him back safely.”
I meant her mate, but another part of me meant Michael. Snowboy wanted me to talk to him and find out what I could about the Council’s plan of defense, but he must have also known that leaving Michael behind was not a possibility. I had to bring him back with me. I needed to bring him back. I couldn’t come back without him.
Suddenly, the need to see him was so great that I almost burst out of my skin. My shadows itched to be released, to race ahead of me into the forest, but I had to keep all my strength for the journey ahead. I forced my emotions down, the same way I’d been clamping down on them for the last two months. I needed all my wits about me. I had to stay calm for the journey ahead. Getting across the mountain would be the easy part. Finding a way into the tower and locating Michael would be harder.
As the male leopard tucked his wings over my legs, I checked that my supplies were secure on my back before leaning forward.
“Let’s run,” I said, and the snow leopard responded by leaping into the trees. I hadn’t ridden him before and it was a surprise how differently he moved. Glacier was delicate and agile, but her mate was powerful and sure-footed. He navigated the pathways between trees at full speed, so fast that I had to shut my eyes and simply trust he wouldn’t collide with anything.
By the Icy Wild (Mortality Book 3) Page 14
