Archie raised her downcast chin. ‘Honor, I wouldn’t have come between you and Ben, that’s not my way. But now you’ve taken off his ring, may I suggest I telegram your aunt to stay where she is, and that we join her and Edith and my parents instead?’
‘You mean you’d find somewhere for Aunt Florence and me to live? Would you want a housekeeper? I’d very much like to go on looking after you, Archie.’
‘I thought we could look after each other,’ he whispered, putting his long gentle hands on her. ‘You see, Honor, I love you. It’s what brought me back to you.’
‘Oh, Archie…’ She threw her arms around his neck. ‘And I love you.’
When they kissed, Honor learned what it was like to be kissed by a man who showered real love and passion on a woman.
She undid the buttons of her blouse. ‘We’ll be alone for hours, Archie, and I’ve a woman’s love to give you.’
Chapter Thirty-One
For the second time in a week Ben was waiting to see someone off at the railway station. He jigged about with his hands rammed in his overcoat pockets, his face drawn, aloof. A youth, obviously a recruit into the services, saluted him. Ben returned a curt nod. It rankled to be considered invalided out of the fighting because of his damaged eye, when, in fact, he’d never lifted a gun except to shoot a pheasant or a rabbit.
‘Ben…’ Honor said. She was sitting next to Archie in the waiting room.
‘I’ve told you both I’m not angry, not really. It’s the best thing all round.’ He couldn’t bear to receive her explanations again, definitely not her sympathy. He lit a cigarette. ‘A new start for you and your aunt. The best of luck to you both, and you, Archie.’ He was welcome to Florence Burrows’s daily presence. ‘Keep in touch.’
The sound of fast tapping heels brought Emilia to them. Honor jumped up and they embraced.
Ben watched the two young women who, each for a brief time, had been his. One a brunette, strong and determined, who had forgotten him as quickly as a crop withers in stony ground. She wasn’t his Em any more, she had got what she was best suited for and had acquired a ruthless streak to protect it. And the blonde beauty, not destined to stay his little princess. He had misread them both. Emilia had never been his soul mate, and Honor had never been totally vulnerable. Neither had needed him, to live, to be, to find happiness in this world rent by darkness and tragedy.
A wretchedness was invading his soul and, in a wash of fear, he recognized what loneliness was like, more frightening than facing death. He acknowledged the completion of one of life’s purposes. He, like his two childhood friends, had grown up.
‘I was so afraid I’d miss you.’ Emilia kissed Honor. ‘The village is agog at your news. I wish I could be there at your wedding, but you must send me a snap.’ She wasn’t surprised Ben was ignoring her after their clash at Eugenie Bawden’s, but because he was looking downhearted – a contrast to Honor’s joy and confidence – she felt compelled to speak to him. ‘Hello, Ben.’
‘Hello, Emilia,’ he replied, able to look at her now, and the couple.
‘God willing, we’ll be down often for holidays, what better place?’ Honor said to her. ‘You take care of yourself, Em, and your little one, you hear me?’
‘I promise.’ Emilia went to Archie. ‘It’s hard to believe you’re the same man who came to the farm just a few months ago. And to think I sent you away.’
‘You did the right thing, Mrs Harvey. I could have been a violent criminal for all you knew,’ Archie replied. At last, his tall frame seemed fleshed out a bit, his skin promising a healthy pink would come. The haunted aspect of his eyes was not so apparent, but Emilia knew, as for so many others, that his dreadful memories, his unnecessary guilt at surviving, would never fully vanish.
‘Here’s the train,’ Ben said. He’d heard enough slushy talk for one day.
Emilia followed the train until there was no platform left. When she walked back, Ben had not moved. The other passengers, and those greeting or seeing them off had all dispersed.
Now Honor had gone, they were both feeling a little lost.
‘How did you get in?’ he said.
‘The trap. You?’
‘A cab. There wasn’t enough room for the three of us and the luggage on the jingle. I’m going to get a motor car.’
‘Good for you. Want a ride back?’
He would rather go for a drink, or to Polly or Dougie. Home would be empty and bare without the feminine variety of female company. But he would not run from his fears and loneliness, and not waste a precious moment on pleasure. At a farmers’ meeting in Truro last month, the gravity of the grain and meat shortages had been a shock. With a hot spring promised, he would graft in his fields from sunrise till sundown to get his crops planted.
‘I’d better take the reins. You should have got someone to drive you over in your condition.’
‘Hardly necessary. Anyway, no one could be spared.’
‘Tell me about it.’
‘Of course, you’re going to be shorthanded without Honor, Archie and Florence.’
Ben handed her up on the trap. ‘Don’t suppose it’ll make much difference. Florence didn’t work in the same way she did at Ford Farm, and these last few days Archie was laid up and Honor was too besotted with him to do much else but nurse him.’
When he was sitting beside her, Emilia said, ‘You’re not bitter about Honor breaking off with you then?’
‘Not at all. I feel a bit of a fool. People will say I can’t keep my women.’ Ben steered the nag down Richmond Hill. ‘It’s a lucky escape for us both. Honor and I were already beginning to make each other miserable. I wish her everything. Archie too, he’s a good bloke.’
‘You’re learning, Ben.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Nothing belittling, I swear. Our lives have changed a lot recently, we’ve had to learn how to deal with different sorts of relationships.’
Another sideways glance. ‘Is that a hint for us to become friends?’
She gave him a level look. ‘It could be.’
‘Emilia, I want to ask you something. Don’t take this wrong, don’t get angry about my curiosity. I mean, you can hardly blame me for wondering…’
‘What is it, Ben?’
‘The baby, your baby. There was very little time between you and me, and you and Alec. You’re sure it’s his? I couldn’t bear the thought of Alec bringing up my child.’
‘I swear on Billy’s memory that this child is Alec’s. I wouldn’t have got involved with him if I’d become pregnant by you, Ben. This business with you and Alec is silly. You never fell out before, it’s time you made things up. Will you make an effort at the farewell supper for Tris and Ursula? Think about it, for your sake as much as Tris’s, or you’ll be all alone.’
‘I don’t believe Alec really wants me back in his house.’
‘If you apologized for your sneakiness, he might come round. Don’t forget, Ben, you’ve a grandmother there. You shouldn’t stay away from her.’
Ben took his eyes off the road and met her frank gaze. ‘And you shouldn’t be so bossy. During the supper, you be sure to keep that workhouse brat out of my way.’
‘You’re two of a kind, you and Jim. Adventurous, reckless.’
‘That boy hasn’t a trace of honour in him.’
‘Let’s not fall out about him.’
Ben looked forward again. ‘Do you love Alec?’
‘Yes.’
‘I didn’t want to hear you say that.’
‘You’ll find someone who you’ll really love one day. Someone better than that Hetherton woman to keep you warm at night.’
They were going past a newsagent’s at Hendra and Ben brought the trap to a halt. He bought a copy of The Western Morning News and The Times.
‘Things are looking a bit sticky for us, aren’t they?’ She used one of his phrases. The Germans were unleashing a fearsome offensive in France, with town after town falling, with the wounded, afte
r only the minimum of attendance, being despatched within hours to England, and the dead receiving a hasty burial.
He did not reply. He folded the newspaper and stuffed it inside his overcoat.
She glanced at his blinded eye. He noticed and his handsome features tightened. She wanted to say something, but she knew he would always blame her for the horrifying result of the incident that had denied him his treasured career. She would never accept his unfairness. Friendship between them was impossible. A cool silence divided them as he drove the trap on to Ford Farm.
Sara was carrying a bucket of household scraps to the piggery. Ben had taken little notice of her during the evening he had fought with her twin. He pulled in his bottom lip while eyeing her. After helping Emilia down, he said, ‘She’s a glorious little creature. You want to watch Alec doesn’t start flirting with her.’
‘Oh, Ben! Just go home.’ Missing Honor already, Emilia marched indoors, wanting to forget he existed.
‘Sara Killigrew, isn’t it?’ Ben said in his most gracious voice, casually lighting a cigarette while ambling at her side. Her skin was the softest shade of primrose, she smelled of sweetness and promise. Her plaits, her plain smock dress and sacking apron, added to her maidenly charm.
‘Yes, sir,’ Sara replied awkwardly, turning a pretty shade of pink – her workhouse training always to be polite to her betters slowed her to his pace.
He left her at the small doors where she would tip the pigs’ feast into granite troughs. Before striding off to his own property, Ben smiled to himself. He punched the tantalizing fresh warm air in jubilation. He was free! Free to court and bed any woman he chose. In a couple of years, it would be a breeze to show an interest in a certain girl here. It would upset her upstart brother and Alec. And Emilia.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Emilia was in the boxroom, setting aside the nursery items of former Harvey babies for her own. The cot, highchair and pram were all in good order. In a few months she would be the mother of the next generation to grow up on the farm.
It made her feel sad that Jonathan was leaving – being forced to leave the place where he was settled in. Last night he had confided in her and Alec that he would miss them, and his great-grandma, and Jim, Sara and Tilda, and that he was frightened of going far away to a strange place. How would he cope with the lie that his brother or sister had died at birth?
There was a tap on the door and Ursula joined her. She looked fidgety. ‘I’m sorry to bother you. If Tris comes back from the lambing in Long Meadow, will you tell him Jonny and I are taking a nap together?’
‘Of course. He and Alec probably won’t be back for ages. There’s nothing wrong, is there? You look uncomfortable.’
‘That’s exactly the way I’m feeling. You’ll find out for yourself when you’re nearing the end of your pregnancy.’ Ursula gave a small smile. ‘I want to thank you for being good to me, Emilia. For allowing me to stay under your roof. Well, Jonny and I are going to take five minutes of fresh air first. We’ll be down for afternoon tea. It’s exciting, isn’t it, preparing for a baby? Be careful you don’t lift anything heavy.’
‘Be careful you don’t walk too far,’ Emilia said, opening the door for Ursula, then watching her descend the stairs in slow, laborious steps. Poor woman, she thought, it’s going to be hard to give her baby away.
* * *
‘It’s time we went back, Mummy.’ Jonathan tugged on Ursula’s hand. ‘We’re nearly at the ford. I heard the nurse say you should stay off your feet.’
‘Just a few more steps won’t hurt, darling. We’re going to have a little adventure today, but first we need to go home.’
‘To our old home? Is it about Daddy’s surprise? You keep saying it will happen soon. Has the letter I brought you the other day something to do with it?’
‘Can’t hide anything from you, can I?’ Ursula laughed, but her insides were aching with worry. She had been overjoyed at Bruce’s letter. He loved her and she was sure she could trust him. All she had to do was to get herself and Jonathan to Ford House, where Bruce would be waiting with a horse-cab, which would take them to an inn at St Austell. From there a carrier cart was to take them on to Bristol. Pray God, it was taken for granted by now that she and Jonny had come back from their little walk and were napping. When it was discovered they had disappeared it would be thought she had made for the railway station with him, and by this time a clean escape would be made.
Her ankles were badly swollen and every step over the bridge and up the next hill was painful and jarring her back. There was no sign of Bruce yet, and in the event of this, she had taken the back door key to the house from Tristan’s room.
She fell down on her chair in the parlour, out of breath. Her back, legs, stomach and chest hurting. She had a blinding headache. ‘Jonny, could you fetch me a drink of water, please?’
‘But what about the surprise!’ He was hopping about in excitement.
‘We’ll have to wait a while.’ She prayed it was no longer than a few minutes.
‘Daddy’s been here.’
‘What?’ She sat up suddenly, causing a sharp pain to cut through her body. ‘Oh, you mean the packing chests.’ Thank goodness, Tristan had finished the preparations for the removal men yesterday.
Bruce, where are you? she pleaded silently. There was no clock now to tell the time by but she was sure he was at least ten minutes late.
* * *
Emilia was interrupted again in the boxroom. ‘Hello, Tris. I didn’t expect you back yet.’
‘There’s another ewe about to lamb. I thought I’d fetch Jonny. Jim told me he’d been keen to witness a birthing but he thought he’d better stay close to his mother. Noble of him, but he shouldn’t have to miss out on other things. Where is he, Em?’
‘With Ursula, taking a nap together by now.’
‘He doesn’t need a nap. I won’t have him namby-pambied.’ He noticed Emilia was dusting the rocking cradle. ‘Promise you won’t you do anything silly, like carrying furniture to another room?’
‘I promise. Tris, I think Ursula just wants company, that’s all. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, she’s got an ordeal ahead of her.’
‘I suppose she has.’ He hesitated at the door. ‘Do you think I’m being too harsh with her?’
‘That’s for you to say, Tris.’
‘If I want to make a proper go of it, I should be more understanding. I intend to be, I will, it’s just this baby. When it’s finally out of the way… not easy for Ursula though.’
‘She’s bound to be downhearted afterwards. I think you should be prepared for that.’
‘Yes, you’re right. Good advice. I’ll try to make things easier for her from now on. Thanks, Em.’
Emilia smiled to herself after he had gone. She was Em to Tristan now. She liked that.
She became alarmed to hear him banging in and out of Jonathan’s room and charging down and then back up the stairs. She came out on the landing. ‘They’re nowhere to be found, their outdoor things aren’t hanging up,’ he cried. ‘I think she’s gone, and taken Jonny with her.’
Reasoning that Ursula and Jonathan had not passed him on his approach to the farm, and that she would avoid the village, Tristan hurried down the hill to the ford. Emilia had suggested that Ursula might have gone to Ford House for some reason, it was the obvious first place to look. The garden gate was closed, the house looked as deserted as when he had left it the day before. Frightened and furious, he peered through the front window and gasped in relief to see Jonny in the parlour. Ursula was huddled in her old chair, and it looked as if Jonny was encouraging her to take a drink of water. It seemed they had walked too far and Ursula had been taken ill.
Tristan entered by the back door and made his way down the passage.
‘Bruce? At last, I was getting worried.’
Ursula’s voice and the loving, longing way she had said those words, his name, made Tristan recoil in anguish and fury.
‘Bruce, why
are you taking so long to come in?’
‘Mummy, who’s Bruce? Is he bringing Daddy’s surprise?’ Tristan heard his son say.
Tristan found his feet and made the last of the short distance into the parlour. ‘No, Jonny. Daddy’s brought his own surprise.’
‘Tris! Oh, my God!’ Ursula sank deeper into the chair, her hands hiding her face.
‘Daddy, you’re not supposed to be here. You’ll ruin everything.’ Jonathan pouted.
‘You don’t know how right you are, son.’ The desperate rush had weakened Tristan’s ankle and he hobbled to Jonathan and picked him up. ‘There’s no need for any more lies, Ursula. We’ll leave now and let you go with your lover. I—no, there will be no more words between us. Jonny, say goodbye to Mummy.’
‘But he’s not coming,’ Ursula said, her teeth chattering with the shock at Tristan’s discovery of her treachery. ‘I’m sorry, but I’ll need your shelter a little longer.’
‘No, you don’t, darling. Sorry, I’m late, got unavoidably detained.’
The suddenness of the roguish cultured voice made the breath lock in Tristan’s lungs. Its owner had a good deportment, was tall, well-honed, with healthy fair looks. He was giving Ursula a boyish white-toothed smile. And the insolent swine was not the least bit concerned that her husband was there. ‘Ashley!’
‘And you are the good Captain Harvey.’ Bruce Ashley turned a supercilious gaze on Tristan. ‘Pity things aren’t quite going to plan, but never mind. We’ll soon be out of your hair. I slipped on ahead to see if the coast was clear. The horse-cab’s just pulling up. Very sporting of you to allow Ursula to leave without any bother.’
‘Get out of my house, you unspeakable viper—’ Tristan shook with rage and disgust – ‘before I forget my son is here and give you what you deserve.’
‘Daddy, what’s wrong?’ Jonny whimpered, hiding his face in his father’s neck. ‘Why are you so angry?’
Touch the Silence Page 26
