THE DREAM was wretched. Mandy’s walk to her car – and then away from it – was on a ceaseless loop in his head.
He heard her tease him about the bra, and then turn away from him a hundred times. He saw her turn back, his mind busy with finding out the truth of the bra before he got her into his Explorer, a hundred times. He saw the explosion a hundred times. He relived finding her on the ground a hundred times.
Not once in the loop did she survive.
Instead, James suffered through a myriad of different endings – each worse than the previous one.
In one, when he finally got to her side on the ground, she was already dead.
In another, the paramedics arrived and worked on her before declaring her dead.
In another, Sophie told him she had died in the ambulance.
In another, he got to the hospital and the nurses told him she had died during transport.
In yet another, Dr. Fitzgerald told him she had died on the gurney while they tried to save her.
Each outcome gutted James.
Finally, in one more iteration, Dr. Fitzgerald took him to the room they were currently sleeping in so James could gaze on her dead body.
“You killed her,” he said. “It’s all your fault.”
James jerked awake, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he tried to control the beating of his heart. He was panicked, a dream world melding with reality. When he found Mandy still sleeping beside him, he let out a shaky sigh and settled his head back on the pillow next to hers.
He pressed his lips against her forehead again to test her temperature, relief washing over him when he realized it had dropped to a more normal level.
She was all right. He was all right.
So why did everything feel so off?
Six
James woke up the next morning feeling more exhausted than he had been when he fell asleep. The nurse who woke him had done so by shaking him quietly so she wouldn’t disturb Mandy, who was still slumbering at his side.
“The doctor will be here in a few minutes,” she whispered. “I figured you would want to clean up a little first.”
James thanked her and carefully leveraged himself off the bed. Once inside the bathroom, he regarded his haggard countenance in the mirror. His eyes were burning and red, his features pale and drawn. He couldn’t let Mandy see him like this. If she spent time worrying about him, she wouldn’t focus on healing.
James splashed cold water on his face, repeating the procedure until his complexion perked up. He’d purchased a bottle of Visine at the pharmacy the evening before, and he dug it out of his pocket now, squeezing several drops into his eyes to eliminate the redness.
When he was done, he gave himself a quick once over. He didn’t look good, but he didn’t look nearly as bad as he had a few minutes before. He found Dr. Fitzgerald standing at the end of the bed watching Mandy sleep when he exited the bathroom.
The doctor lifted his finger to his lips, motioning for James to follow him out into the hallway.
“What’s wrong?” James asked once they were out of Mandy’s earshot.
“Nothing,” Fitzgerald said. “I just didn’t want to wake her if I didn’t have to.”
James exhaled heavily. “Her fever is gone. It broke in the middle of the night.”
“Were you up all night?”
“No,” James said. “I just woke up a few times so I could check on her.”
“Mr. Hardy, I know you’re worried,” Fitzgerald said. “Your dedication to her is … impressive. If you don’t get some sleep and take care of yourself, though, you’re going to have a hard time taking care of her.”
“I’ll take care of her,” James growled. “She’ll have everything she needs.”
“Just take some time for yourself, too,” Fitzgerald cautioned. “I’m not sure you realize how much work she’s going to be – especially over the next few days.”
“I love her,” James said. “She’s not work.”
Fitzgerald nodded to signify his understanding. “I can see that you mean that.”
“What do I need to know?” James asked. “She’s going to want to get out of here as soon as she wakes up. I want to make sure I’m prepared.”
“She’ll have a few prescriptions,” Fitzgerald said. “One will be for the pain. The dosage over the first few days will be higher, and then I’m going to want you to start weaning her off it. It’s not addictive, but it will make her sleepy and maybe a little loopy at times.”
“She’s already loopy without the medication,” James replied. “I can deal with loopy.”
“There will also be antibiotics to fight infection,” Fitzgerald said. “Ironically, while it was the head wound we were initially concerned with, it looks like the wound to her back is going to be the most problematic.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that right now we’ve got a numbing agent on it,” Fitzgerald said. “That’s why she can tolerate being on her back. Without the numbing agent, that’s going to be virtually impossible over the next few days.”
“Is there something I can use that will help her at home?”
“We can give you a bottle to take home,” Fitzgerald said. “That means you will have to tend to the area of the wound, keep it clean, and then put the numbing agent on twice a day. I would recommend once in the morning and once in the evening.”
“Fine.”
“The wound on her back is … ugly right now, Mr. Hardy. It should heal fine, and the scarring should be minimal, but right now it is hard to look at. For someone who isn’t used to seeing something like that … .”
“What? You think I’m going to freak out because her back is mangled and somehow leave her because she’s not perfect anymore?” James couldn’t hide his quick flash of anger.
“That’s not what I was saying,” Fitzgerald said. “I’m just saying that it might be hard for you to see. Perhaps, if your financial situation warrants it, you might consider hiring a nurse.”
“We don’t need a nurse,” James said. “She’s mine. I’ll take care of her.”
“Okay,” Fitzgerald said, holding up his hand to show James he wasn’t going to keep pressing the issue. “When you get her home, keep her quiet. My guess is that she’s going to fight that.”
“Yeah.”
“She really can’t sleep enough over the next few days,” Fitzgerald said. “I’m not exaggerating. If you can make her sleep eighteen hours a day that can only help. I know that might not be possible, but try.
“Visitors should be kept at a minimum,” Fitzgerald continued. “Keeping your sister away is going to be a trial, but Mandy is going to be miserable. Her body is going to be screaming at her to stay still, but she’s headstrong, so she might try and pretend the opposite.”
James rubbed his jaw, nodding as he took in the doctor’s information.
“Also, even if she doesn’t show it, every time she moves she’s going to be in terrible pain,” Fitzgerald said. “Every time she’s jostled, she’s going to want to scream. Every time someone touches her, she’s going to want to yell. So, when I say it’s important to keep her quiet, I mean it’s also important to keep her still.”
“I understand,” James said, swallowing hard.
Dr. Fitzgerald handed James a business card. “If you have any questions, any at all, don’t hesitate to call me.”
James took the card and shoved it in his back pocket. “Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”
“This is going to be a rough week,” Fitzgerald said. “Just keep in mind, she will recover.”
“She’d better,” James said. “I can’t seem to function without her. A week or two of serving as her personal slave doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice right now, especially given the alternative.”
Dr. Fitzgerald cocked his head to the side, considering. “You might feel differently in twenty-four hours.”
GETTING Mandy to the second floor of Hardy Brothers Security
proved to be a bigger task than James was anticipating. She couldn’t climb the stairs on her own, and he couldn’t carry her up in the way he normally would because of her injured back. Finally, he forced her to face him and wrap her arms around his neck. He then hoisted her up, his arm under her rounded rear, and then he proceeded to take it one step at a time. It was slow going, but once he had her inside of the apartment it was worth it. She smiled for the first time in days.
“Home,” she murmured.
“Okay, blondie,” James said, glancing around the apartment. “You’re locked in her for several days. You’re my patient. Whatever you need, I’m going to get for you. Whatever you want, just tell me. I’ll even get you a little bell so you can ring it and really annoy me.”
Mandy shook her head. “You’re getting off on this, aren’t you?”
“Not even close,” James said. “I think the first thing we need to do is get you in some pajamas.”
“I want to take a shower,” Mandy argued. “I smell.”
“The doctor said you can’t take a shower for two more days.”
“Oh, come on,” Mandy protested. “I feel gross.”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“That’s not going to work on me,” James said. “I’m here to give you whatever you want – as long as it doesn’t get in the way of your recovery. Now, suck it up. In two days you can take a shower. I’ll get you some pajamas.”
It took some doing, but James finally managed to get her into a pair of fuzzy sleep pants and one of his oversized T-shirts. Once he had her settled on the couch, he moved to the kitchen. “Do you want something to eat?”
“No.”
“Are you still pouting?”
“Maybe.”
“Do you want me to give you a few minutes to get it out of your system?”
“Whatever.”
James turned his back so she couldn’t see him roll his eyes. She’s in pain, he reminded himself. She doesn’t mean to be obnoxious.
“Well, we have absolutely nothing to eat here,” James said. “I think we’ll order out tonight. What do you want?”
“I want a shower.”
“How does Thai sound?”
“Worse than a shower.”
James slammed his hand down on the counter, immediately regretting his actions when he saw her jump – and then grimace – out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” James said. “I’m tired, and I’m taking it out on you. I know you want a shower. I get it. I can’t help you there. Can you please just try to work with me a little?”
“Thai is fine.”
“Great. I’ll order it now.”
TWO HOURS later, James found himself in another quandary.
“I need to put the numbing agent on your back.”
Mandy shook her head. “It’s not necessary.”
“The doctor says it is.”
“I’ll be fine,” Mandy said. “Just give me some of the painkillers and they’ll knock me out.”
James narrowed his eyes, watching Mandy curiously as she struggled to stand up from the couch. “Why don’t you want me to put the salve on you?”
“I don’t want you to see it,” Mandy said. “It’s gross. The nurse showed me when she was helping me get dressed in the bathroom this morning. It’s … nasty.”
“So?”
“So? So I can’t let you see me looking like that.”
“Baby, you’re hurt,” James said. “I can handle it. You seem to forget that I was in the military. I’ve seen every kind of wound known to man. There’s nothing under there that’s going to somehow freak me out and send me screaming out of the room.”
“I’m scared you’ll … .”
“What?”
“That it will gross you out so you’ll never want to look at me again,” Mandy admitted.
“Is that why you want a shower so bad?”
“Maybe.”
James sighed. “Sweetie, don’t make this harder than it has to be. I love you. Waiting two more days for a shower isn’t going to change that. Seeing your back isn’t going to change that. I promise.”
Mandy sighed, tears welling in her eyes. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Why don’t you go into the bedroom and try to get comfortable on the bed. I’ll get the Q-tips and the salve and I’ll be in there in a minute.”
“Okay.”
After collecting the supplies and shutting the lights off in the main apartment, James found Mandy lying on her stomach on the mattress. She was facing away from him, and James had a feeling that was on purpose. She was embarrassed and worried – two things he didn’t understand and didn’t have the energy to deal with.
James climbed onto the bed as gently as he could, situating himself on his knees next to her. He reached for the T-shirt and lifted it up so he could have easier access to the middle of her back. He’d seen the bruises when he’d helped her get dressed earlier, each one serving as a stark reminder of just how close she’d come to leaving his world.
He carefully loosened the tape holding the white gauze in place, taking extra time to make sure that it was completely separate from the tender skin before he pulled it away from her body. He could feel her body stiffen when oxygen hit the wound.
James made sure to keep his breathing even, even though his pulse shot up when he saw the angry gash. The doctor had sewn it up, making sure to keep the stitches small and neat. In a few weeks, he would barely be able to tell the wound had ever been there. Now, though, he wanted to hit someone.
James took the salve and squeezed it onto the end of one of the Q-tips. He dabbed it on the wound carefully, glancing at Mandy’s profile from time to time to gauge her pain level. She didn’t move as he covered the six-inch cut from one end to the other. She remained still as he affixed a fresh gauze square over the top of it. She was still silent when he collected the supplies and dropped them on the nightstand next to the bed.
James stretched out on the mattress next to her, laying on his belly and turning his head so he could look at her. He reached his hand out, linking his fingers with the one part of her body he wasn’t scared to touch, and captured her good hand.
“See, all done,” James said. “I’m not even freaked out a little.”
Mandy sniffled, turning her head to face him. “I feel really pathetic.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m helpless,” Mandy said. “I’m helpless and I smell.”
James tightened his grip on her hand. “It’s only for a little while, baby. This will get better. I promise you that.”
“I know.”
“Try to look at it this way,” James said. “At least we have each other. We came really close to losing that.”
“I know.”
“Then sleep. The more you sleep, the faster this will go by.”
“You need to sleep, too.”
“I’ll be right here,” he said. “I’ll be sleeping right here.”
James remained in the uncomfortable position until she drifted off and then he cautiously shifted over onto his back. When sleep finally claimed him the nightmares were waiting.
Seven
Finn and Grady let themselves into James’ apartment before the sun rose. They’d gone to the market, buying everything they could think of to keep Mandy fed and comfortable during her convalescence.
When James stumbled out into the main room of the apartment a few minutes later, his brothers froze in guilty resignation.
“Sorry,” Finn said, keeping his voice low. “We were trying to be quiet.”
James rubbed his eyes. “I was awake.”
“Why? It’s early.”
James shrugged. “I just was. What is all of that?”
“Everything the blonde wonder could possibly want over the next few days,” Grady said proudly. “We got tons of f
ood. I got Oreos and M&Ms – her favorite junk food. I got those dill pickle potato chips she likes, too.”
“Emma picked out a bunch of magazines and some of those puzzle books,” Finn added. “She’s got a Kindle, so books aren’t an issue. We got her a hundred-dollar gift card so she can buy as many as she wants.”
“That’s great,” James said. “Thanks.”
“We didn’t even get to the best part yet,” Grady said, his eyes twinkling. He pushed a blue plastic bag across the counter toward James.
James opened it, smiling when he saw what was inside. “The complete Friday the 13th and Halloween collections on Blu-ray?”
“She already owns every shark movie ever made,” Grady said. “I know she loves these. I was going to get A Nightmare on Elm Street, too, but she said she only likes the first one in that series.”
“This is really great.”
Grady studied James when his brother was looking down at the movies. He looked exhausted. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“How is Mandy?”
“She’s sleeping.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Grady said. “How is she?”
“She’s struggling,” James said. “She’s in pain. She’s tired. She’s cranky. She wants to shower. She’s worried about not being able to shower because she thinks that’s going to turn me off. She’s just … a mess.”
“And that means you’re a mess,” Finn supplied.
“I’m not sleeping,” James admitted. “I keep having these nightmares.”
“I think that’s normal,” Finn said.
“Normally, I would be able to hold her,” James said. “That’s what I did after the fire to shake them. I can’t do that now. I can’t touch her.”
“It won’t be forever,” Grady said.
“It feels that way now,” James said. “We just have to get through it. It’s going to be fine.”
“Well, we have some other things to talk to you about,” Grady said. “That’s why we came so early.”
Deadly Proposal (Hardy Brothers Security Book 4) Page 5
