by A. Anders
“But I’m his fiancée. I should know these things,” Lucy said unable to hold back her tears. “I barely filled out anything at all.”
The woman took the clipboard from Lucy and flipped through the pages. “The most important thing is that you put down his address. That’s good enough for now. Why don’t you go back and see your fiancé. He’s on the second floor in room 215,” she said pointing towards the elevator.
Lucy had no idea why she would think that simply putting the address down was enough but she wasn’t about to argue the point. “Thank you,” Lucy said slowly regaining her confidence.
Taking the elevator to the second floor, Lucy exited and searched for his room. Circling the hallway she eventually found it. Room 215. Behind that door would be Cristiano. He had been in an accident. What type of condition would he be in? Would he be wrapped in bandages? Was he now disabled for life?
Lifting her hand to open the door, Lucy realized that it was shaking. Withdrawing it she wiggled her fingers to get it to stop. It worked a little but there was no calming her down.
Marching forward, she pushed open the door and stepped in. Terrified by what she would find, she quickly scanned the room. It was empty. What had happened? Had she entered the wrong room? She went back outside and checked. No, this was it.
It was as dark thoughts entered her mind that she heard the bathroom door click open. Although her heart was beating a thousand beats a minute, suddenly she couldn’t breathe. As Lucy stood frozen a man walked out. Seeing Lucy stare at him, the man stared back and then continued to the bed.
“I had to go to the bathroom,” he explained thinking that Lucy was a nurse.
Lucy watched Cristiano as he got into bed. There was not a bandage or scratch on him. He was just as beautiful and perfect looking as he had always been. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was wearing a hospital gown, she might have mistaken Cristiano for a visitor.
“Cristiano, it’s me, Lucy.”
Cristiano squinted at her hearing her words. “Lucy?” He asked with a hint of familiarity.
Lucy got a rush of excitement as she hurried to the side of his bed. “Yes. Yes. It’s me, Lucy,” she said reaching for his hand.
Cristiano quickly recoiled not wanting her to touch him. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know who you are. I was told that I was in an accident. I don’t remember much before that.”
Lucy’s heart broke with a resounding crack. The man she loved didn’t recognize her and had recoiled when she had tried to touch him. Standing there, Lucy suddenly felt very alone. She longed for his touch, but what she wanted most was to see a flicker of recognition in her love’s eyes.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Harstad. I’m told that you are Ms. Hollingsworth,” a Middle Eastern man said as he entered the room staring at a clipboard.
“Yes. I’m Ms. Hollingsworth. I’m Cristiano’s fiancée.”
“Fiancée?” Cristiano asked surprised.
The level of his surprise was a dagger in Lucy’s heart. “Yes, don’t you remember? You proposed to me this morning. It was so beautiful.”
Cristiano looked at her doubtfully. Lucy’s heart wrenched.
“Don’t worry Ms. Hollingsworth. Memory loss is common in accidents like the one Mr. Rivero had.”
“How long does the memory loss last?” Lucy inquired.
“It’s tough to say. Sometimes it lasts an hour or two. Other times a few days. More commonly, it lasts a month. And in a few rare occasions, the memory loss is permanent.”
Lucy could barely breathe listening to the doctor’s prognosis. “So he may never get back his memory?”
“That is the worst case scenario. Much more common is that once the patient is around things that are familiar, slowly their memory returns.”
“And how long does that take?” Lucy asked feeling desperate.
“It depends on the severity of the injury. There is no definitive way to tell.”
“Can’t you put him in one of those machines that look at your brain? Can’t you find out what type of injury he has?” Lucy implored.
“Listen, Ms. Hollingsworth. I can assure you that this is one of the finest hospitals in Los Angeles. We have done everything we could possibly do. All we can do now is observe him to make sure nothing unexpected happens and then release him to your care.”
“My care?” She asked looking at the doctor and then back at her confused fiancée.
“Yes. You didn’t list any other relatives on his forms. I assume that you will be the one taking care of him. Was I mistaken?”
Lucy looked back at Cristiano. His brow was furrowed as if disturbed by what he was hearing. “No, I’ll be taking care of him. Of course I will. I’m his fiancée.” She turned back to the doctor. “Will you all be providing a nurse for him or anything?”
The doctor chuckled. “It’s not that type of injury. Mr. Rivero will be fine. He will be able to do all the things he could have done before. It is just a matter of him regaining his memory. So, do the things with him that you always have. It’s routine and familiar circumstances that will allow him to return to the man that you knew,” the doctor said with a smile.
“When will I be able to take him home?”
“We want to keep him overnight for observation. If everything checks out as normal in the morning, you can take him then. And don’t worry Ms. Hollingsworth, everything will be alright.” It was with that that the doctor turned around and left the room.
Alone with the man that she loved but who didn’t know her name, she turned back and looked at him. She suddenly felt very insecure. It was a miracle that someone as good looking as him would have fallen for a round girl like her to begin with. Without his memory of their experiences together, what did he think of her now?
“So, you’re my fiancé?” Cristiano asked confused.
“Yes, don’t you remember? We were lying in bed last night and you proposed to me,” she said forcing a smile.
“You’re not wearing a ring.”
Lucy held up her hand and looked at it. “That’s because we were supposed to go ring shopping today. You were supposed to come by my place at three and we were going to go from there. Does any of this sound familiar?”
Cristiano shook his head frustrated. “Nothing does. All of this is very…”
“Frustrating?” Lucy asked.
“Scary,” Cristiano replied to Lucy’s surprise.
It was then for the first time that Lucy saw the look on Cristiano’s face in its entirety. Yes, he did look frustrated. But more than anything else, he looked scared. It wasn’t an emotion that she often associated with him.
He was strong and confident. He was her cowboy, her master. That was the man she had fallen in love with and that man was never scared.
“It’s all right. Everything will be okay. I’ll take you back to my place and you’ll get your memory back in no time,” she said forcing a smile.
Cristiano stared at her with a confused look on his face. “I’m sorry. What did you say your name was again?”
It broke her heart to hear it. “Lucy. Lucynthia Hollingsworth, but you always called me Lucy.”
“Lucy,” he repeated clearly trying to lock it into his memory. “Okay, I got it.” He again looked up at her as if he didn’t believe everything that he had been told. “And you said that I asked you to marry me last night?”
Lucy squirmed with heartache but tried not to let it show. She was sure that it was her size that was giving him doubt. After all, why would a guy like him fall for a girl like her?
Lucy was a chubby girl. She knew that. And that was how she knew that all of the other guys had simply been after her family’s fortune. There was no way that guys like Peter Baron could really fall for a fat girl like her. That was what made Cristiano so special.
Not only had Cristiano been uninterested in her family name or her money, but he seemed to love her without knowing anything about her. He had seemed to fall for her for who she was.
How
did he feel now meeting her again for the first time? Did her size make a difference? Had he really cared about her money and had simply pretended like he didn’t?
He had always told her that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Did he still think so? As much as it pained Lucy to admit it, everything about the way Cristiano was reacting was telling Lucy that he didn’t.
“Yes. You asked me to marry you last night. It was so beautiful. You told me how much you loved me and how much you wanted to spend the rest your life with me. You talk about how I completed you and how you couldn’t see your life without me,” Lucy embellished. “Don’t you remember any of this?”
Cristiano stared at Lucy looking even more confused than before. “I don’t. I’m sorry.”
Lucy reached down and took Cristiano’s hand. “Well, you don’t have to worry. I’ll take you home and take great care of you. Your memory will come back soon. You’ll see. And once it does, you’ll remember just how much we meant to each other. Everything will be perfect,” Lucy said barely able to smile.
“Meanwhile, why don’t you get some rest. I’ll come by and pick you up tomorrow.”
“Where are you going?”
“There are a few things I need to do at home to get ready. Don’t worry. Everything will be all right.”
Hesitantly, Lucy bent forward to give Cristiano a kiss. It was his subtle flinch that made her change her mind. Awkwardly she stood back up.
Squeezing his hand again she let it go and headed for the door. Once back in the hallway, the dark wave of reality hit her. The man she loved and had given up her entire life for not only didn’t remember her but recoiled from her touch. He didn’t even want her to kiss him.
Overwhelmed by it all, tears streamed down her face. When the full weight of the moment hung on her, Lucy sobbed. She had no idea what she was supposed to do now. She had never felt more alone.
Lucy
Chapter 3
Lucy led Cristiano into her condominium. Although he had only been there a few times she hoped that he would find the place familiar. As his brow furrowed and a confused, doubtful look spread across his face, it was clear that he didn’t. Lucy had hoped that he had found his stays special enough to jog his memory. They hadn’t.
“Anything?” Lucy asked as Cristiano moved around the room picking up the glass figurines she had gotten during her travels.
“I’m sorry. Nothing.” Cristiano looked at a crystal dolphin that Lucy had gotten during a trip to the Bahamas. After a moment Cristiano turned to her and held the dolphin between them. “Is this mine? Did I buy this?”
“Why? Does it seem familiar?”
“No. I just have a hard time imagining that I would purchase this.”
Feeling self-conscious, Lucy walked over to Cristiano taking the dolphin from him. “No, I got this. It goes with my collection.”
“I see. So what here is something I bought?”
Lucy looked around the room knowing what she would find. Everything here was hers. Although they hadn’t talked about it, Lucy had imagined that he would be moving in. Part of her thinking was that his memory would come back while he got comfortable living in her condo.
Besides, it wasn’t like it was some crappy one-bedroom place south of the 10 freeway. This was a multimillion dollar condo in West Hollywood. Most people dream of living in a place like this. Lucy wanted Cristiano to get used to having the best although she still wasn’t sure how she would be able to keep the place now that she had lost her allowance.
“Well, umm…” Lucy looked around trying to think. “Oh, I got it,” she said as she led Cristiano into the bedroom. Opening the closet she showed Cristiano a section of his clothes. “Do you recognize any of these?”
In preparation for bringing him here, Lucy he collected a few of his essentials from his apartment. Clothes, bathroom supplies, a few snacks from the kitchen. Lucy hadn’t thought to bring any of his books or the art that hung on his walls. Frankly, nothing he had went with the décor. But now she realized how compromising a little might have made Cristiano feel more at home.
Cristiano took out a shirt from the closet. Holding it in his hand he stared at it. Rubbing the soft cotton between his fingers, he then held the shirt to his nose and inhaled. Though fighting desperately for a connection, nothing came.
“I don’t remember this at all. Is there anything else?”
Grasping for straws, Lucy led him into the bathroom. “What about these?”
“Do you mean the toothbrush and razor?”
“Yeah,” she said guiltily.
Wanting to make a connection, he retrieved the toothbrush doing everything he could to jog his memory. “No, nothing,” he said not masking his frustration.
“The doctor said it might take time.”
“But what if it never comes back?”
“It will. I’m sure of it,” she said taking his hand in hers.
Cristiano looked at her strangely. He seemed like he was about to withdraw his hand when he relented to Lucy’s touch. “I want to remember you. I do. But for now, let’s take things slow.”
Lucy felt more hurt than she could express. She could feel him pull away from her, not just physically but mentally. What if he never remembered her? Even worse, what if all of the things that he had said he felt for her wasn’t real?
If he had found her so beautiful like he had said, wouldn’t he find her the same now, memory or not? Lucy’s heart hurt standing with the man that she loved knowing that he didn’t want her to touch him. Everything she was going through was torture.
“I understand,” she said slowly removing her hands.
“It’s just that I want to remember you. You were obviously very special to me. But for right now you are just a stranger. Maybe you can tell me something about our life together that might help me remember.”
Lucy searched her mind for an appropriate story.
“Well, the first time we met was at a party.”
“What type of party was it?” He asked craving the details.
“It was my father’s Christmas party. I remember that you were dressed in a tuxedo. You looked so handsome,” she said with a smile.
“Was I there with someone? How did I know your father?”
The smile fell from Lucy’s face. “You weren’t really a guest. You were working as a bartender.”
“Oh. Okay,” he said disappointedly. “So I was working at your father’s party?”
“Yeah. And I came over and asked you if you could make me a slippery nipple. You laughed and then said you could. After I tasted it I was impressed. Most people don’t know how to make it. You did. I then asked you what other special skills you had. You told me that I should give you my number and find out,” she said with a nostalgic smile.
“So I picked you up at a Christmas party I was working at?”
Lucy’s smile immediately disappeared. “I guess that’s one way of saying it. It was super sexy, though. We met at a bar the next day and a lot of hot times followed.”
“Okay. But I had asked you to marry me. We have to have had a lot of memories together that didn’t involve sex. Can you tell me about my family? Where have we traveled to together?”
Once Cristiano asked, Lucy could no longer ignore the truth of the matter. She certainly did love Cristiano and she definitely wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she barely knew who he was. Their relationship was almost entirely based upon their ravenous sexual desires.
Confronted with their reality, Lucy accepted that that was mostly her fault. For so long she was hung up on the idea of dating a bartender that she wanted to keep their relationship on the down low. How could she explain who he was if her friends saw her at ‘Nice Guy’ or ‘Bar 1320’?
“Our relationship was very physical. We didn’t get much opportunity to take vacations together or travel to Spain to see your family. But now that we’re engaged I was expecting that we would do a lot more of that. Maybe we could build ne
w memories together. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
Cristiano looked at Lucy disappointed. “Yes, I’m sure it would,” he said obligingly. “I’m hungry. Do you have anything to eat?”
Lucy’s eyes lit up. “Yes. In fact, I have something that I’m sure you’ll like.”
Lucy led Cristiano to the kitchen where he watched her prepare a Spanish dish with sardines, pasta, and a fried egg. He had made this for her many times and knowing that he would enjoy it, she had brought the ingredients from his apartment. As he ate he gave her the first smile she had seen since the accident.
“This is good,” Cristiano confirmed.
“Does it make you remember anything?”
“No, but I definitely like it. Thank you,” he said with another smile.
Lucy knew that it wasn’t much but it was a start.
Over the next few days, Cristiano made almost no progress with getting his memory back. As frustrated as he was, Lucy was more so. Nothing about Lucy’s feelings for Cristiano changed, but it was getting harder for her to be without his affection. She hadn’t realized how much she had come to depend on it. Always being so close to him without being able to touch him was torcher.
Sharing the same bed, Lucy considered jumping him in the middle of the night. What guy would turn that down, right? The distance he put between them in bed, however, stopped her from doing it.
She was beginning to feel like, sexually speaking, he wanted nothing to do with her. It was all wearing her down. Lucy wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand it. The continuous rejection from the man she loved was tearing her heart apart.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Lucy asked after three days of being stuck in her condo with someone who acted like a complete stranger.
“Is that something we typically do?” Cristiano asked with his brow furrowed.
“No. But I thought we might try something new. Besides, it’s a really nice day. It would be nice to get outside.”
Lucy packed a picnic backpack containing a bottle of wine, biscuits, cheese, grapes and a few finger sandwiches she picked up from the grocery store. Together they walked down towards Sunset Boulevard and passed all of the gay establishments in bustling West Hollywood. Lucy watched Cristiano as they did. Again his brow furrowed.
