Suddenly, her eyelids flutter open. Her blue eyes find mine almost immediately, and she fucking takes my breath away. Half asleep she looks vulnerable, almost like her guard is down. She looks up at me like she was hoping I’d still be there. I almost think I can read relief in her eyes.
“Hey,” I whisper, my voice gruff. Fuck. If she hears it she doesn’t react, merely smiles up at me.
“I fell asleep.”
I nod. “You did. You snored, too.”
She sticks out her tongue at me, her eyes bright with laughter. I want to watch her wake up every day. The thought hits me in the gut. I’m not supposed to want things like that. Not with Ellie.
“I don’t snore,” she says, poking a finger into my chest. “Take it back, buddy. Or else.”
I’m captivated by the teasing, the way I always am. I want to hear her tease me all the time, to tease her back. To make her laugh. “Or else what?”
There’s a glint in her eyes as she pulls herself up to hover over me, her black hair creating a curtain around my face. “Don’t make me show you.”
“If you’re trying to punish me you’re going about it completely the wrong way.”
The corner of her mouth tilts up. “Are you saying you like me like this?” Her hands slowly run the length of my arms until she’s gripping my wrists, trapping them against the bed. It’s all I can do to not groan and flip her over to ravish her all over again.
“That would be an understatement,” I manage to rasp out, and she laughs, dipping her head down to kiss my neck.
I should stop this. I’m only going to get in deeper the longer I let her kiss me. The longer I lay here and let her hands roam over my chest. But, God, she feels good.
“Ellie,” I moan, as her body covers mine more completely. She looks up from kissing my skin and I feel my heart seize all over again. The playful look is still there in her eyes, but there’s something behind it. That same softness from before, from while she was sleeping. That vulnerability. Even now, when she’s awake, when I thought her guard would be back up. I can’t resist it.
I pull her up to kiss her, my heart rate picking up at the happy little sigh she allows to fall against my lips.
This is going to hurt like hell in the morning. It would be smarter, surely, to feign exhaustion. To make some kind of joke about her wearing me out and get the hell out of this room. But then she sighs again and I know there’s no point. Whether it hurts tomorrow or not, there’s no freaking way I’m stopping this now.
If I only get one night, I might as well make the most of it.
***
“You look pissed,” Jet says, looking at me from the corner of his eye. “What’s your problem?”
I scowl at him, shoving my phone back into my pocket. “I don’t have a problem.”
He snorts and passes me a beer. “You’re pacing dude. In the break room.”
I fall heavily into one of the plastic chairs, popping the top of the beer he gave me. “Thanks.”
He takes a long pull of his beer before rubbing his greasy hand against his jeans. We’ve spent the morning working on the power steering of my old truck. It’s been acting up all summer and I’m not entirely sure it’s up for the drive to school on Sunday. It was cool of Jet to agree to come into the shop on his day off to help me check it out. Particularly when you consider I haven’t exactly been good company. I’m anxious today, distracted. I had hoped being busy, having something to do with my hands would help but it clearly hasn’t, not if Jet noticed something was up.
“So what’s going on?” he asks, shooting me a look. “You stressed about school or something?”
I shrug. “Or something.”
“Well that’s not at all frustratingly vague.”
I chuckle a little and take another swallow.
“Is this…are you worried about, uh, me?” He sounds uncomfortable. “Because I’m fine now, dude. I hope you know that.”
I shake my head. “I’m always worried about you, man. That’s not going to change any time soon. And, yeah, this summer might have freaked me out a little where you’re concerned.”
“Hey, Fred. You don’t have to stress about me. I’m better than I’ve been in years, seriously.”
I nod, looking down at my beer. He does seem better. He’s been less moody, been drinking less. And it’s not just because of Zoe—he’s out of his mom’s house, which I’ve been wishing could happen for ages. And his dad is back in town and taking more of an interest in his son’s life. About damn time, too. But still, it’s hard not to picture the way he’d looked when I found him in his bathroom that night he overdosed. And that was only a few weeks ago.
“I’m sorry, dude,” he says, his voice soft. “I know I was an asshole, the way that I acted when Zoe left. I can’t tell you how pissed at myself I am that you had to find me that way.”
“You’d be dead if I didn’t.” I say it harsher than I mean to and I see him nod out of the corner of my eye, looking sheepish.
“I know that. But I’m still sorry you had to see it. Must have been shitty for you.”
I snort. “That’s an understatement.”
“It’s not going to happen again, Fred. Not ever. I promise you that.”
I want to believe him. God, it would be great if I could leave and not worry about him getting into some kind of trouble while I was gone.
“You spend too much time worrying about other people, man,” he continues. “Your parents. Your sister. Me. You need to let some of it go.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“Start with me,” he suggests, hitting my shoulder with his. “You can take me off your shit-to-worry-about list. I mean it.”
I look over at him, surprised to see he’s gazing right back at me. Jet has never been one for eye contact, much preferring to hide his feelings behind a joke or a curse or a bottle of whiskey. But he’s looking at me now, his eyes steady on mine. And, for the first time, I start to think that maybe he really will be okay. I nod.
“Okay, so now that we have that cleared up,” he says, a smile forming on his face. “Are we ever going to talk about the fact that you totally got with Ellie the other night?”
My mouth drops open in surprise. “You know about that?”
He shakes his head. “Well now I do. Zoe and I thought it happened but Ellie wasn’t talking.”
“So you thought you’d trick me into admitting it, huh?”
He shrugs. “I have to get my information where I can.”
Ellie wasn’t talking. So she hadn’t told Zoe, huh? Interesting.
“Well?” Jet asks, hitting my arm. “Spill.”
“We hooked up. The night of your show.”
He nods. “Zoe saw you leaving the parking lot the next day. But Ellie just kept telling her the two of you stayed up talking and you slept on the couch.”
I shake my head. She had flat out lied to her best friend. What was that all about?
“I most definitely did not sleep on the couch.”
Jet grins at me. “Good for you, man. You’ve been into her all summer.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not entirely sure it was a good idea.”
“Why not? Uh, not to be crass or anything, but wasn’t it good?”
I snort and go for my beer again. “Yeah. It was…it was amazing.”
“So what’s the problem?”
I sigh, leaning back into the chair. I have no idea how to have this conversation with my best friend without sounding like a pre-teen girl playing truth or dare. “I think it made her feel weird,” I tell him, because it’s partially the truth. “She hasn’t talked to me since.”
“Have you called her?”
“Several times. I’m starting to feel like a clingy ex.”
Jet is quiet for a minute. “You like her, don’t you?”
I shrug. There’s not really any point denying it—he knows me way too well. But I’m also not stoked about saying the words out loud.
“I thin
k you guys would be good together. I can see it. You could help balance her out and she could help you live a little.”
“I’ll take that under advisement, Dr. Phil,” I mutter.
“You want me to talk to Zoe about it?”
“Jesus, man.” I shoot him a glare. “No.”
He holds up his hands. “Dude, I’ve never done this whole girlfriend thing before, I don’t know. I thought it sounded like something people did.”
“I do not want you asking your girlfriend for advice on how to get her friend to like me. We’re grown ass men, not middle schoolers.”
“If we’re grown ass men, then why the hell have you been pouting around here all day instead of figuring out what’s going on with her?”
I run my hands through my hair, frustrated with the entire conversation. “She was pretty clear up front about what she wanted. Ellie does not do relationships.”
“Neither did Zoe. Neither did I.”
“Yeah, well, I get the feeling with Ellie it’s a bit more intense than that. She seems really adamant about it.”
I watch him fiddle with the top of his beer can. “Yeah. I guess I can see that. Would you, uh, want a relationship with her? If that was an option?”
“It’s pointless to even talk about, because it’s obviously never going to happen.”
He hits my arm again.
“Hey!”
“Stop being such a defeatist. Maybe it won’t, but maybe it will. You might as well talk to her about it.”
“Can we please stop talking about this now?” I ask. “Seriously, dude. Let’s just finish the truck.”
Jet holds up his hands. “Fine. I’m just saying, it’s pointless to get worked up about it until you know for sure where you stand.” He points a finger at me. “And you are worked up about it. You’ve barely said a word all afternoon.”
“I know,” I mutter, standing. “I just don’t know what the hell to do about it. She won’t talk to me, man.”
“Well, she’ll have to talk to you tomorrow, right?”
“What’s tomorrow?”
“Your going away party.”
“What the hell are you talking about, man?”
He scrunches up his nose like he’s trying to remember something. “Didn’t I tell you? The girls are throwing a party at their new place in your honor. They started planning it right after they moved in.”
I roll my eyes. “Nice of you to inform me.”
Jet makes a face. “Sorry. I guess I forgot.” His expression turns worried. “Don’t tell Zoe, okay? She’d be pissed if she found out I didn’t tell you. It was kinda my job.”
I shake my head. “Your secret is safe with me. But you owe me one.”
We resume work on the car. If Jet had hoped our talk would help me clear my head he was wrong—if anything, I’m more confused now than ever. Ellie hadn’t told Zoe what had happened—I have no idea what that means but I’m sure it means something. Ellie is the most sexually open person I have ever met. She tells everyone about her exploits, including me. But she kept this from her best friend. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
And now the question that has been bugging me all week is solved—when she didn’t call me back after the second and third try, I started to wonder if maybe I wasn’t going to see her again before school started. But now I’m going to see her tomorrow, my last night at home.
What I’m going to say to her, though, I have no fucking clue.
Chapter Four
Ellie
“What’s wrong with you?” Zoe asks, grabbing a paper towel to mop up the punch I had just spilled. “You’re acting all jumpy.”
“Sorry,” I mutter, taking the towel from her to clean up my own mess. “I’m just distracted.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” She finishes unscrewing the bottle of rum she’d been working on before my spill. “How much, you think?”
“Just pour it in,” I tell her. “The secret of making a good rum punch is to not overthink things.”
“Good point.” She upends the rum, and I watch the amber liquid tumble into the punch. “You’re zoning again.”
I shake my head slightly. Our friends are supposed to start showing up in the next few minutes and Zoe is right—I’m distracted as hell. I have no idea how I’m supposed to interact with Fred tonight. We haven’t talked since our ill-advised hookup the previous weekend, though he’s called me a few times. I didn’t answer, which I know is immature. I just had no idea what to say to him.
It had been an amazing night, there was no denying that. It might have even been the best sex of my life. And Fred was my friend. I wasn’t sure why we couldn’t just talk about it, put it behind us so we could go back to the way it was all summer. But the very thought of seeing him, of having to talk to him, makes me feel jittery in a way I really do not like.
The buzzer goes, making me jump. Zoe shoots me a puzzled glance on her way to door, wondering, I’m sure, what in the hell my problem is. I finish arranging the stash of liquor as she presses the intercom. “Hello?”
“Let me in,” Hunter’s familiar voice shouts. “I’m loaded down with beer and my arms are about to fall off.”
“I’ll come help,” Zoe responds. She slips her shoes on and turns to me. “Will you be okay while I’m gone? Can I trust you not to zone out and burn the place down?”
I flip her off and she grins at me before going down to help Hunter.
I sigh, looking around the room. We’d cleaned up all of our crap, brought in some extra folding chairs, and blown up a few balloons to add a festive touch. I think Zoe even dusted the furniture. It’s the first party we’re throwing since moving into our new place. Our apartment isn’t all that spacious, but we didn’t invite all that many people. Hopefully everyone will fit.
“Ellie, my love,” Hunter calls out as he follows Zoe through the door. “What’s this I hear about you being jumpy and weird?”
“Oh, dear God,” I mutter, glaring at him over the stacks of twelve packs in his arms. “You guys were alone for, like, thirty seconds.”
He heaves the beer up onto the counter. “Girls talk.”
I roll my eyes and grab a bag of chips, ripping it open and pouring it out into a plastic bowl while Hunter and Zoe get the beer situated. “So what’s up?” he asks, clearly unwilling to drop it.
Oh, what the hell. “I slept with Fred,” I blurt out. I have a momentary flash of satisfaction at the look of shock on their faces.
“What?” Zoe squeals, her eyes still wide. “When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrug, my satisfaction quickly fading as a weird sense of embarrassment takes over. It’s stupid—I tell my friends about everything. Why does this feel different?
“Wow, Ells.” I don’t like the look in Hunter’s eyes as he gazes at me. He looks like he’s trying to figure something out. My embarrassment grows. “When was this?”
“Last weekend. After the art show.” Zoe gasps and I do my best to ignore her. “We drove home together and he ended up coming over to get dinner.”
Hunter snorts but quickly muffles it when I shoot him a death glare.
“It’s not really a big deal.”
“Yeah, right,” Zoe says. “If it wasn’t a big deal you would have told me about it right away.”
“I don’t tell you everything,” I shoot back, but she merely raises her eyebrows. “Fine, I usually tell you about this kind of stuff. I don’t…I don’t know why I didn’t.”
“Have you talked to him since?” Hunter asks. I shake my head.
“He’s called a few times but…I don’t know. I feel weird about it.” I shake my head again, this time out of frustration. I gaze down at the counter. “I don’t know why. It’s just Fred.”
I look up in time to see the two of them sharing a look. I narrow my eyes. “What?”
“Nothing,” they say at the same time. I cross my arms, looking from one to the other. Zoe caves first. “It’s just, well, I guess we both k
ind of got the feeling that you liked him.”
“I do like him. He’s a good friend. And he’s pretty cute. That’s why I slept with him.”
Hunter watches me for a moment, not saying anything. Finally he clears his throat. “You don’t think it might be more than that?”
My patience is running out quickly. I knew I shouldn’t have brought this up. “What are you talking about, Hunt?”
He holds up his hands as if to ward me off. “I just think you guys are good together. You clearly get along. It’s obvious he’s nuts about you. So why does it have to be just a one night thing?”
“Because I don’t do any more than that.” The words come out practically as a growl. Yup, definitely a mistake to tell them. I should have known they’d get all sappy on me.
“There’s a first time for everything,” Zoe says quietly.
I snort. “Just because you got all soft on me and went gaga over a boy doesn’t mean that I’m going to.”
She makes a face at me. “You can tease all you want. You know full well I never had any intention of having a boyfriend.” She holds my gaze. “Until the right boy showed up.”
“And you think Fred is the right boy for me?” It’s impossible to keep the incredulous tone out of my voice. Fred is great and everything, but there’s no way he’s the type of guy anyone would picture me ending up with. It’s ridiculous.
But Zoe only shrugs. “Why not?”
I laugh loudly before I realize that they’re both still watching me, their faces serious. “You guys,” I say. “Come on. It’s Fred.”
“What’s wrong with Fred?” Hunter asks. “I think he’s cute.”
A picture of Fred, bare chested, hovering over me on my bed flashes across my mind. Cute doesn’t even begin to cover it, I think.
“What was that?” Hunter asks, pointing at me.
“What?”
“That look on your face. Holy crap, Ellie! You like him.”
“I do not!”
Zoe is laughing. “You so do. You should have seen your face just now.”
I throw my palms against my cheeks. “Shut up!”
Zoe keeps laughing while Hunter shakes his head, his expression kind. “It’s okay, Ells. You’re a big girl. You’re allowed to like a boy.”
Escape With You Page 3
