The Marriage Agreement
Page 7
He released his breath and reminded himself this was Laura’s day. He could dwell on his conflicting emotions later, preferably when he was alone.
The preacher gave the all-too-familiar spiel that Jesse had heard only three years ago. Jesse had to tune the words out. Yes, he managed to say “I do” at the appropriate times, but he felt a great disconnect between himself and the events playing out around him. It was as if he was an impartial observer. He was watching everything, but he wasn’t really a part of it.
He had no idea this wedding was going to be so difficult to get through. And that wasn’t fair to Laura. He should be here for her, fully in the moment. But no matter how much he willed it, he just couldn’t. Something in him was blocking him. He only prayed no one noticed. He hoped the smile and calm voice that recited the vows masked what he was truly feeling.
He had no ring to give her. There was no way he could afford one. But she didn’t seem to mind.
“I don’t need a ring,” Laura told him and the preacher. “There’s more to a marriage than something you slip on the finger.”
The preacher seemed content with her answer and said, “Jesse, you may kiss your bride.”
Jesse might not have a ring, but he could kiss her. And he did, trying not to think it was wrong to kiss someone besides Elsie. No. It wasn’t wrong. Elsie was no longer alive. But what he logically knew and what he felt were two different things, and he chose to pretend the kiss wasn’t for a woman he’d just married. It was the only way he could get through it without wanting to cry.
“Everyone, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jesse Palmer,” the preacher announced. “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”
And so the deed was done. While the people clapped and came over to congratulate them, he forced more smiles and thanked them. From beside him, Laura seemed caught up in the spirit of the day. That was good. That meant she was happy, and he wanted her to be happy.
She was giving up her future to help him raise Elliot. It wasn’t something she had to do, but it was something she was willing to do. He had a feeling he wouldn’t ever be able to pay her back for all she was doing for him, but he’d do his best. And this wedding was just the first of many things he’d try to do to return the favor she was doing for him.
***
Laura watched as Mr. Larson put her things in the back of Jesse’s wagon. Up to now, the marriage had only seemed like an idea. It didn’t occur to her this was real until she was ready to go to Jesse’s home. His home was now her home. She was going there to stay. She wouldn’t be leaving after a few hours and returning to her parents. She was now a married woman with a child and a husband to care for. The sudden weight of her new responsibility hit her with full force, and she didn’t know how to cope with it.
Elliot pulled on her hair, providing a much-needed distraction from the direction her thoughts were going. With a smile, she turned her gaze to the baby in her arms and gently took his hand away from her hair.
“I’ll need to keep my hair up from now on,” she teased. “You’re stronger than you look.”
“Mama,” he replied.
Touched, she kissed him on the forehead. He just called her Mama! She’d only been dreaming of this moment, but now he’d actually done it.
Then, in the next moment, the spell was broken for he reached for her hair again.
She took his hand and held it. “Oh no. You can’t call me Mama and get away with grabbing my hair. I won’t allow it.”
He looked at her, seeming as if he didn’t believe her.
“I’m being serious,” she said, though she felt her smile widen. “You have a way of charming people, and you’re only ten months old. I hate to see what you’ll be like when you’re older.”
He only giggled.
“I can tell you’re going to give me trouble,” she mused.
“I know I said it before, but I hope this marriage will be everything you hope it’ll be,” came Amanda’s familiar voice from behind her.
Laura turned around as her friend approached her. “I think it will. All I want is to be a mother to Elliot, and as you can see,” she nodded toward the boy, “he seems more than happy to let me be that for him.”
“I know things will go well for you and Elliot,” Amanda replied, lowering her voice. “I just hope the rest of it will go well for you.”
“You mean Mrs. Shaw?”
“And Jesse.”
“Well, Jesse and I have an understanding of what this marriage will be. As for Mrs. Shaw,” Laura shrugged, “I don’t know what can be done about her. I’m already prepared for the fuss she’ll put up. She thinks I’m going to take Elsie’s place. Only time will prove I’m not going to do that. Elliot will grow up knowing about his real mother.”
“I have no doubt you’ll encourage Elliot to learn everything he can about Elsie. It’s not in your nature to withhold that kind of information from a child.”
“I just hope I can be the kind of mother Elsie would want for him. She was a nice person.”
“I’m sure she was. I never talked to her.”
“I did a couple of times. I didn’t get to know her as well as I got to know you, but I had a feeling about her. I think if she had lived, we would all be friends right now.”
Amanda nodded as if to say Laura might be right, but Jesse came over to them. “Are you ready to go?” he asked Laura.
“Yes, I’m ready.” As ready as she would ever be anyway. She took a deep breath. This was it. The start of her new life.
To her surprise, Amanda gave her a hug. For a moment, Laura could only stand there. It was so unlike Amanda to do anything to show she cared about someone. Once Laura was able to overcome her shock, she returned the hug.
“Just remember it’s alright to think of yourself once in a while,” Amanda whispered.
What a silly thing for Amanda to say. She was marrying Jesse for herself.
After Amanda released her, Jesse helped Laura into the wagon, and the others gathered around the wagon to congratulate Jesse and Laura on their marriage. Laura thanked them again and waved her good-byes as Jesse led the wagon off the Larson’s property.
Once they were off the land, Laura turned her attention to Elliot and saw that his gaze was on the horizon. “Those are hills out there in the distance,” she told him, pointing to them. She glanced at Jesse. “Has he seen the sunset yet from the porch of your house?” She almost amended her question since it was her house, too, but he answered before she could.
“I’m too busy taking care of the animals in the evening to sit with him on the porch.”
“In that case, I’ll have to do that with him.” She smiled at Elliot. “The sunsets are much better out here. Back in Pennsylvania, I lived in an apartment, and all around me were other buildings. But out here, you can see the land in all directions for miles, and that makes for the most beautiful sunsets you can imagine. You’re lucky you get to grow up surrounded by so much beauty. Even the stars at night seem brighter.”
“You really like it out here?” Jesse asked, interrupting her conversation with Elliot.
“Well, sure, I do,” she replied. “Haven’t you ever noticed how lovely the scenery is?”
“I don’t take much time to look at it. I’m doing good just to get the work done, but from time to time, I do.”
Noting the way he swallowed, she asked, “You think Elsie would have liked it, don’t you?”
He nodded. “Fanny would have you believe I forced Elsie to come out here, but I didn’t. Elsie wanted to leave the city behind and start a homestead as much as I did.”
“I remember her saying she couldn’t wait to be out here.”
“She told you that?”
“It was during the first week I was on the wagon train. We walked together for a while before Mrs. Shaw said she needed her.”
“You might as well call Mrs. Shaw by her first name. It’s Fanny.”
“Yes, I suppose I should since I’ll be seeing mo
re of her.” She paused then asked, “Does it feel strange knowing she’s not your mother-in-law anymore?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.” He smiled. “It is nice not to have that association with her anymore. Of course, there’s Elliot. She’ll always be his grandmother no matter what happens.”
True. Jesse would always be tied to Mrs. Shaw. Fanny. She had to remember to think of her as Fanny, as Jesse had suggested. It might help her not feel so intimidated by the woman if she didn’t have to address her so formally.
Elliot tried to grab Laura’s hair again, but she managed to stop him this time. With a laugh, she said, “I don’t know why Elliot’s so fascinated with my hair.”
“He’s reaching for a lot of things lately. Before long, it’ll be hard to keep up with him. You have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you’ll be there for him all the time.”
“I’m happy to do it, Jesse. Taking care of him gives me a purpose. And it’s hard not to fall in love with him. He’s an adorable little boy. I’m excited I’ll get to be there while he grows up.”
A moment of silence passed between them, and she assumed the conversation was over. But then, he said, “You did make a beautiful bride today.”
Surprised, she looked over at him. She didn’t think he noticed how she looked. “Thank you. It was nice to have an excuse to pretty myself up. I doubt I’ll ever get a chance to do it again.”
“Every woman should have her special day. I hope this one was enough. I know it wasn’t in the church, and your parents weren’t there.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t expect it to be perfect. I’d rather have the peaceful ceremony we did than have my parents stand up and protest the wedding. That would have been embarrassing.”
“Well, I should warn you that your father has been by almost every day since you left his house, and he hasn’t been happy. I have no doubt he’ll be by either later today or tomorrow. I don’t think that will be pleasant.”
“No, I don’t think it will, either.”
But she couldn’t put off seeing her father forever. Sooner or later, she’d have to talk to him. She turned her gaze to Elliot, reminding herself why she had gone through with this marriage. As long as she could be Elliot’s mother, whatever she had to go through would be worth it.
Chapter Nine
“So you did it, huh?” Fanny asked Jesse as he pulled the wagon up to his house. “You went and got married to the woman who wants to replace Elsie.”
Jesse should have known Fanny would come running out of her hole as soon as he pulled up into the yard. But he’d been hoping she’d be taking one of her many naps. Such hopes, however, had been in vain. No. On this particular day, she chose to stay up until around two in order to give him and Laura a hard time. He wouldn’t be surprised if Laura’s father would come out that very evening to make his complaints known.
“I’m not going to take Elsie’s place,” Laura told Fanny. “That’s never been my intention, Mrs. Sh…Fanny.”
“I already told you that,” Jesse snapped at the old coot.
He winced. He shouldn’t let Fanny get to him. Not today. This was Laura’s special day. He’d promised himself he’d make this a nice day for her, something she could look back on fondly. He had the rest of his life to argue with Fanny. He didn’t need to do it today.
He got down from the wagon and walked over to Laura to help her down.
“Humph.” Fanny crossed her arms. “What would Elsie think if she could see you now, touching another woman?”
Jesse waited until Laura was down before he turned to Fanny and forced out the calmest tone he could muster. “I’m only helping her down from the wagon. I’ve done the same with you, if you’ll recall.”
“I’m not a temptress,” Fanny replied.
“A temptress?” Laura asked, coming up beside him, bouncing Elliot on her hip.
“Yes,” Fanny told her. She looked Laura up and down and shook her head. “It’s just shameful the way you got yourself all prettied up to lure him away from Elsie.”
She gasped. “Lure him away from Elsie?”
“She’s doing no such thing, and you know it,” he intervened. “She’s here to be a mother to Elliot. I’ve explained this to you already. Why don’t you ever listen to me?”
Fanny glared at Laura. “Because I see the way you’re looking at her, and I don’t like it one bit.”
The woman was looking for things that weren’t there. He’d spent the entire wedding thinking of Elsie. He barely even remembered most of the wedding just now, but he wouldn’t hurt Laura’s feelings by admitting it.
“I give up,” he finally said. “Fanny, you see what you want to see.” To Laura, he added, “I’ll bring your things into the house.”
“Not to your room, I hope,” Fanny inserted.
Laura stopped walking toward the house and faced Fanny, her eyes wide in shock. And who could blame her? Only Fanny would be bold enough to come out and ask about their sleeping arrangements.
“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Jesse said. “Of course not. This is a marriage of convenience. It’s not going to be anything else.” He turned to Laura and waved for her to go to the house. “Go on. Don’t let this raving lunatic get to you.” Like she had managed to get to him every single day of his life since he’d married Elsie.
Ignoring Fanny as she continued to nag at him, he went back up into the wagon and snapped the reins. He only got mild satisfaction out of watching her jerk back from the horses. She hated horses. She’d swear up and down they had a reckless spirit about them.
But he knew better. Horses were a lot like people. They had unique personalities, and the two he owned were the two finest ones in the area. They had gentle natures. They wouldn’t hurt anyone. So her nonsense about them giving her the evil eye was just that—nonsense.
By the time he unhitched them from the wagon and set them into the pasture, he realized how tired he was. The day had taken a lot out of him. It hadn’t been easy to stand in front of the preacher and promise himself to someone other than Elsie.
Shoulders slouched, he went to the barn, pulled up a pail, turned it upside down, and sat on it. Yes, Laura was doing him a favor. A huge one. He didn’t think he’d ever repay the debt he owed her. Not that he could ever imagine her demanding anything from him. It wasn’t in her nature to do that. In some ways, she was like Elsie. But she wasn’t Elsie. No one would ever be Elsie.
He put his face in his hands and let out a long sigh. He hoped he hadn’t just deprived Laura of a life she deserved. While there were no guarantees of a long life, he hated to think Laura might regret marrying him down the road. It’d been selfish to take advantage of the opportunity she gave him.
He heard a horse going toward the house, so he looked through the doorway of the barn and saw an all-too-familiar rider making his way to the front door. Bolting to his feet, he hurried out of the barn and made his way to the house just as the rider got off the horse.
Laura’s father only glanced in his direction before he bounded up the steps of the porch.
“She’s here, but I’m not going to make her talk to you,” Jesse told him, darting in front of the door before he could knock on it. “If she wants to talk to you, fine. If not, then you’ll need to go back home.”
Her father scowled at him. “She’s my daughter.”
“And she’s my wife.” When her father narrowed his eyes at him, he added, “It’s official. We’re now married. So if she agrees to talk to you, you have to remember you’re talking to Mrs. Laura Palmer, not Miss Laura Rufus. Understand?”
Her father stiffened and stood up straighter, a tactic meant to intimidate Jesse, but Jesse held his own.
“I’ll tell her you’re here,” Jesse said as he opened the door. “Don’t come in unless she invites you.”
Then, he made sure her father didn’t follow him before he shut the storm door, leaving the main door open. He found Laura in the kitchen, helping Elliot drink some water.
“Laura, your father’s here.”
There. Jesse said it. He didn’t think there was any easier way to mention it, so he figured the sooner he blurted it out, the better. But by the way her countenance fell, he wished he’d lied and just went back out to tell her father she didn’t want to talk to him. There was no taking back the words, though. All he could do was offer her a way out of the situation.
“He’s on the porch if you want to talk to him,” he continued. “If you don’t want to see him, I’ll send him away.”
She took a deep breath and released it. “I suppose I should get this over with.”
He watched as she stepped around him and headed for the porch. He almost didn’t follow her, thinking it would be rude to intrude on a private conversation. But then, what if she needed him? Her father wasn’t an easy man to deal with. Jesse picked up Elliot and went to the front door.
Laura was talking to her father in low tones, and Jesse couldn’t help but notice she stayed inside the house. The storm door provided a barrier between herself and her father.
As Jesse got closer, he heard her father’s irritated voice. “You have put me and your mother through a lot of grief. We had no idea where you were.”
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I was afraid to tell you because I knew you’d prevent me from marrying Jesse.”
Her father’s gaze shifted to Jesse, and Laura took a moment to look over at him. Jesse couldn’t tell if she was glad he was standing with her or not. If she asked him to leave, then he would. Until then, he’d stay by her side.
“Your mother and I raised you,” her father told her. “We’ve seen to your every need ever since you were born, and this is how you repay us? By marrying someone who’ll only use you to raise his child?”
“I already told you this was my idea,” she replied. “Jesse didn’t force me to do anything. I want to help raise Elliot.”
Her father shook his head. “This is nonsense. You’re too young to know what’s good for you. I demand you come home at once and put this foolishness behind you.”