The Marriage Agreement

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “I already married Jesse,” she said. “There’s no undoing it.”

  “We’ll get it annulled.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “I talked to the priest, and he’s willing to do it.”

  “But I don’t want an annulment.”

  “You’re too young to know what you want.”

  “No, she’s not,” Jesse interrupted. “Women younger than her get married and have families. She knows what she’s doing, and we decided this was the best course of action.”

  She nodded. “It’s just as he said, Pa. Women my age have families of their own.”

  “Well, those women aren’t my daughter. You are.” Her father gestured for her to come out of the house. “I demand you obey me and get out here at once.”

  “I can’t,” Laura said.

  “You mean you won’t,” Jesse corrected.

  Without bothering to look at Jesse, she kept her gaze on her father as she answered him. “No, I mean, I can’t.” She then made an announcement that nearly made Jesse drop Elliot, for she said, “I might be carrying Jesse’s child.”

  Her father stepped back on the porch, his hand over his heart. “You can’t mean….”

  “I’m afraid so,” she replied, still not looking at Jesse. “That’s why we had to rush everything. You wouldn’t want a grandchild born out of wedlock, would you?”

  Jesse’s face warmed with embarrassment. Even if Laura was lying, he couldn’t make eye contact with her father. Not after what she’d just told him.

  “You can’t be telling the truth,” her father insisted, though the underlying apprehension in his voice betrayed his doubt.

  “I know this isn’t what you and Ma wanted for me,” she began. “And neither Jesse nor I meant for it to happen, but one thing led to another, and…and…” She shrugged. “It just happened. So you see. We had to get married. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you or Ma because I knew it’d devastate you. This way at least, we can save our reputations, and you won’t have to deal with the shame of others knowing. It’s the best for everyone involved.”

  Her father didn’t say anything, and there was no way Jesse was going to look at him to see what he was doing. This whole thing hadn’t gone as he’d expected.

  “Even if it turns out I’m not with child,” Laura continued, “it’s still best that Jesse and I remain married. Jesse did right by me and made me an honest woman. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but now that you know the truth, you can understand why Jesse and I need to stay married. It might be best you don’t tell Ma, just in case I’m not with child.”

  Then she shut the door and hurried past Jesse and Elliot. Jesse dared a peek out the small window by the door and saw her father trudging down the steps, his head bowed. Well, he had to hand it to her. The lie had worked. Her father was finally leaving, and he suspected her father wouldn’t be trying to get her to go back with him after this. Even if her father thought she might be lying, he couldn’t afford to take the chance she wasn’t.

  As Jesse watched her father get on his horse, Elliot squirmed in his arms. Jesse put the boy down then turned his gaze back to the window, not satisfied until he saw her father actually ride away.

  He turned back to Elliot in time to see the boy crawling into the kitchen. Surprised, he followed his son and saw Elliot was heading for Laura. Laura turned from the worktable where she was setting out the containers she’d long ago put flour and other ingredients in so she could make bread out here.

  Jesse couldn’t be sure, but he thought her face was bright red as she hurried over to pick Elliot up. Without looking at Jesse, she put Elliot in the highchair and secured him into it.

  “I know why you lied to your father,” Jesse told her. “And it’s alright. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

  She straightened up and glanced at Jesse, as if she wasn’t sure she could believe him or not.

  “It’s been a long and exhausting two weeks. Your father’s been over here a lot. I don’t know how else you could have gotten him to go away.”

  She hesitated then said, “I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.”

  “You chose a good lie to go with.” He chuckled. “I can’t think of anything else that would have worked as well.”

  She relaxed and offered a shy laugh. “I don’t know what gave me the idea to pick it. Maybe it was hearing Elliot babble.” She shrugged. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. The important thing is he’s no longer trying to control me.”

  “How did he try to control you?”

  “Well,” she paused then continued, “I could only wear my hair a certain way or wear certain dresses.”

  “Did he do that in every area of your life?” Why was he only learning this now? Never once had she given him a reason to think she was miserable at home.

  “It doesn’t matter. I’m not there anymore. I’m here. And I made the choice.”

  She grabbed a cracker, broke it into three pieces and gave it to Elliot. Then she went to the worktable, signaling an end to the conversation—a conversation that happened to be a very uncomfortable one for her. And who could blame her? It wasn’t like they were close enough to have this kind of discussion.

  “Alright,” he finally said. “I need to change so I can do the chores. Will you be fine without me to help?”

  “I’ve made bread many times when it’s been just me and Elliot,” she told him, glancing over her shoulder at him.

  True. She had. And had he been in the right frame of mind, he would have remembered that. The day had definitely taken a toll on him. Things were bound to change between him and Laura now that they were married, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. No. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be.

  Elsie might be dead, but in his heart, she was very much alive. All the memories the wedding had brought up today was proof of that. Everything was happening too fast, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Without another word, he left the kitchen, feeling as drained as he had when he buried Elsie in the ground.

  Chapter Ten

  Laura didn’t know what to expect. Now that she was married, she didn’t feel different. For some reason, she thought she would. She’d gone from being a young, single woman to being a wife and mother all in one day.

  But, she felt like she always had. Uncertain. Alone. Awkward. She didn’t know why she thought once she married, all of those familiar feelings would go away. And it was worse since Jesse presented her with the question on where she wanted to sleep when it was time to go to bed.

  “I only have two bedrooms,” Jesse told her as they stood right outside Elliot’s door. “I didn’t expect to get married again after Elsie died, so I only built two rooms. One for me, and one for Elliot.”

  “That’s understandable,” she replied.

  “I had a small bed made for you,” he said. “I’m sure the one your parents had for you was a lot more comfortable, but it was the best I could do with what I had.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine, Jesse. I brought this marriage on you so suddenly. There wasn’t much time to make arrangements for me.”

  He seemed relieved by her answer, so she figured she’d said the right thing. After a moment, he said, “I put the bed in my room.” He gestured to the room next to Elliot’s, and she would have taken a look in there had the door not been shut. “I only put it in there to keep Elliot away from it,” he added. “Elliot might not be walking yet, but he has been getting around. I know you didn’t bring much but a carpetbag.”

  And that carpetbag was still in the parlor. She hadn’t thought about it at the time, but she supposed he’d planned to keep it there until she told him where she wanted to sleep.

  “I have my own bed,” Jesse explained. “So we wouldn’t be sleeping together.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You did say you wanted to keep things between us the way they’ve always been.”

  She wasn’t sure if he was telling her this or asking her. Choosing her word
s carefully, she opted to say, “This is a marriage based on necessity. We’re doing this for Elliot.”

  He looked relieved. “Right. I just wanted to be sure you still wanted to keep things that way. I don’t think I can ever be with you the way I was with Elsie.”

  “I meant what I told Fanny. I’m not here to take Elsie’s place. I know you loved her. All I want is to be your friend.”

  “Thank you. For understanding, I mean.”

  She hadn’t thought there had been anything to understand. She hadn’t expected him to put on the pretense of being a real husband with her. As far as her father was concerned, they’d already been romantically involved, but nothing could be further from the truth. Nor would there ever be.

  “I think,” she began, “it would be best if I slept in Elliot’s room. But I don’t want to wake him. Tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch. You can move the bed into his room tomorrow.”

  “I should have asked you what you wanted to do earlier today.”

  “There was a lot going on.”

  She had barely finished cleaning up after the evening meal when Fanny barged into the house to find out how Laura was going to put Elliot to sleep for the night. Listening to Jesse tell Fanny to mind her own business had been reminiscent of the days on the wagon trail.

  Up to the time Laura had suggested marrying Jesse, Laura hadn’t been the target of Fanny’s anger. Actually, for the most part, Fanny had kept her mouth shut during most of Laura’s visits. Yes, she’d witnessed moments where Fanny and Jesse were arguing, but she was beginning to think they argued all the time. Now that she was a part of the family, they were no longer going to put on the pretense of getting along for her sake.

  Laura headed for the parlor but then stopped and turned back to Jesse. “How do you handle it out here with Fanny? She complains about everything you do.”

  “I handle it because I have to,” he said, suddenly looking more tired than she could ever remember seeing him. Even the day of Elsie’s funeral, he hadn’t looked like he’d been in such despair. “No one wants her, and I can’t kick her off this land. She’s Elsie’s mother, and she’s Elliot’s grandmother. I owe it to both of them to make sure she has a place to stay.”

  She supposed she couldn’t blame him. Honor and duty were admirable traits, and Elsie had been the kind of person anyone would want to do anything for. “Do you think things will get better now that I’m here?”

  “I don’t know. They might be the same, or they might be…”

  His voice drifted off, so she encouraged him to continue.

  After a moment, he said, “They might be worse.”

  Worse? How could they possibly get worse? “I didn’t come here to make them worse. I came to make them better.”

  “I know you did. But there’s no telling what Fanny will do.”

  She waited for him to continue, to tell her what he meant by that, but he disappeared into his bedroom and came out with a blanket and pillow.

  “I don’t feel right about having you sleep on the couch,” he said. “I’ll sleep there tonight. You can sleep in my room tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll move your bed into Elliot’s room. Alright?”

  “Alright.” She went to get her carpetbag and smiled at him. “Thank you.”

  “There’s no need to thank me. You’re the one who’s doing me a favor by coming out here. Good night, Laura.”

  “Good night, Jesse.”

  While he put the pillow and blanket on the couch, she went to his bedroom. There wasn’t much to it. Two small beds. A trunk. A kerosene lamp that sat in the corner. That was it. He didn’t even have curtains. It seemed he’d invested most of his money and time into making things for Elliot.

  This place—as it was at the moment—was a shadow of a home. Well, she’d change that. Even if she and Jesse were only going to be friends, she wanted to make this place a comfortable home, one he could come to at the end of the day and feel he belonged. She put her carpetbag on the floor between the beds and got ready to sleep for the night, thinking of all the improvements she could make.

  ***

  The next morning, Laura woke before dawn. She wasn’t sure what had disturbed her from her sleep. Jesse wasn’t moving around in the house, and Elliot wasn’t crying. Maybe she was still wound up after all the activity from yesterday. So many things had changed, and she wasn’t sure what any of the changes meant. Even if she didn’t feel different, she knew her life wasn’t going to be the same.

  She sat up in the bed and glanced over at Jesse’s things in the remaining moonlight. There was nothing there that told her Elsie had once been his wife. Well, nothing she could see anyway. Maybe the memories were too painful, so he had to hide them. She didn’t think he would have thrown out tokens of their life together. He’d loved her. There was no doubt about that.

  Laura didn’t think she’d ever forget how pale he’d been the morning Elsie died in childbirth or how he couldn’t stop crying during the funeral. A love like that only came once in a lifetime.

  For the first time, she questioned her decision to marry him. Did she make a mistake in her desire to be Elliot’s mother? Had she let her love for the child blind her to doing what was best for her?

  No. She wouldn’t think like this. She’d had no choice. Not unless she’d wanted to be forced to marry one of the old men her parents were trying to arrange for her to be with. She was much better off here.

  Renewed by the reminder, she got out of the bed and dressed for the day. After she brushed her hair and pulled it back with a couple barrettes, she stepped out of the room. The entire place was quiet. She’d never been here at this time of day. She’d been used to the sunlight streaming in through the window and Elliot making noise.

  This quiet darkness was surprisingly spooky, especially when she glanced out the window and saw shadows where the barn was. For a moment, she thought she caught a flicker of movement, but after staring at the same spot for a long moment without anything happening, she decided it was a trick of her imagination.

  This was so different from being in town. There, she’d look out the window and see other houses. With the lamps lighting the street, it was easy to see if someone was outside.

  With a shiver, she hurried to the kerosene lamp and lit it in the kitchen, making sure to keep the wick low enough so as not to disturb Jesse, who slept soundly in the parlor. She set the lamp on the worktable and scanned the shelves. If she got started on something, it’d help pass the time, not to mention help take her mind off the shadows the lamp had cast in the kitchen.

  After some debate, she opted to make bread. Once she mixed all the ingredients together and kneaded the dough, she put it aside and covered it with a towel. By this time, a trace of sunlight had finally made its way into the kitchen. Relieved, she put out the light in the kerosene lamp. Good. Now things would start to feel normal around here.

  From the parlor, she heard Jesse get up from the couch. She debated whether or not to go into the other room and let him know she was awake, but then she thought she’d offer to make him coffee.

  When she reached the room, he was already gathering his blanket and pillow. She’d never seen him without a shirt on before. He only had on his undershirt and his denims, and without the shirt, she saw the muscles in his arms. Stubble was on his face, which emphasized his masculine appeal. She supposed the fact that his hair sticking up all over the place should have deterred her from finding the sight of him so intriguing. But the truth was, it didn’t. In fact, it only made him that much more attractive.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

  Forcing her eyes to meet his, she managed a smile, hoping he couldn’t tell what she’d been thinking. They were only friends, after all. “Yes, I did,” she replied. Good grief. Was her voice actually weak? She cleared her throat. “Would you like some coffee?”

  “I wouldn’t mind a cup,” he admitted. “I didn’t get much sleep last night. The couch isn’t as comfortable as it looks.”

 
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t be. I got the cheapest one I could find. I’m just glad you were spared from having to sleep on it. Maybe next year I can afford a better one.”

  “I never have any trouble when I sit on it.”

  “Sitting on it isn’t the problem.”

  “Well, neither of us will need to sleep on it from now on,” she said. “There’s no sense in getting a couch to replace this one when it’s fine to sit on.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” He let out a sigh. “Nothing’s the way I planned for it to be when I left New York.”

  She could only guess what he meant by that comment. She didn’t dare ask him what he meant, either, in case she inadvertently brought up Elsie. She didn’t want to depress him.

  With a smile, she said, “I think everything is fine the way it is. You made a good home for you and Elliot. This home is a nice one.” Since she didn’t know what else to say, she added, “I’ll get started on the coffee. I was thinking of making muffins for breakfast. Does that sound alright?”

  “It sounds great.”

  “Good. Then I’ll get started on it.”

  Without waiting for him to respond, she returned to the kitchen. Alright. So maybe she was beginning to feel a little different. But she had no idea what the sudden change meant, and a part of her was afraid to find out.

  ***

  Laura had just finished feeding Elliot his breakfast when Fanny knocked on the door. Laura rose from her chair and wiped her hands on her dress. She’d talked to Fanny in the past when Jesse was in the barn, but the conversations had always been short and mostly dealt with what she was feeding Elliot. Somehow, she doubted Fanny’s reason for talking to her would be so pleasant this morning.

  Bracing herself, Laura went to the door and opened it. “Did you wish to spend time with Elliot?” she asked, hoping her cheerful tone would inspire the woman to stick to pleasant topics.

  But Fanny wasn’t to be deterred. She came into the house and shut the door. “As Elsie’s mother, I deserve to know the truth. Did you spend the night in Jesse’s bed?”