I don’t answer. I can’t answer. I’m not about to be disrespected like that. Instead, I cross my arms in front of my chest and step backwards towards the wall, my new place in this group. Martin goes back towards the podium and points towards a chalkboard with about twenty names written in a child-like handwriting.
My name’s at the bottom, connected to a man I’ve never heard of. My stomach turns as he explains the new pairings. “This shit show had some real fucking stupid teams. It allowed you assholes to get away with far too much. Now I’m putting each runner with one of my enforcers.” Martin turns back to me as he adds, “Any of you so much as ride an inch outside the routes I planned during your shift, these boys have orders to take you down and ask questions later.”
I see Thad in the crowd stand cautiously, his hand raised slightly over his head, “Martin, err, I mean, Captain. I’m not on that list.” I look back over the board and scan for confirmation. He’s right. He’s not even on the list of alternates or trainers. He’s been completely left off.
“Who the fuck are you?” Martin sneers.
“Thad McBriar. I’ve been running with Gavin for a long time now. I’ve been on the road since I was seventeen… sir.” I’ve never see Thad so fearful in my entire life, but whatever Martin’s been selling has got him spooked. He can’t even ask a question without his voice quivering slightly.
Martin scuffles through a stack of paper in a manila-colored folder until he comes to a small post-it. He holds it up as says, “Ah yes, Thad. You and Gavin managed to get yourself into some shit yesterday, didn’t you?”
I mumble loudly so that those around me can hear, “You calling us shit when we managed to steal nearly ten grand from the Senators along with a whole stash of pure coke?”
“You bet your sweet ass,” Martin says, turning back to me. “I’m calling it shit. You managed to kill two guys in broad daylight, get chased through midday traffic, and crash both of your bikes outside our territory lines. Do you know what my daddy had to deal with last night to come to your rescue?”
“He made a call and cleaned it up. We were under orders to do what we did because your daddy seemed to think that we were the best runners you had on the team. I didn’t see him ask you or any of these soft boys to go do his dirty work for him, did I?”
Martin smiled, his sharp, pointy teeth showing through his dry, cracked lips, “If that were true, you’d be here, wouldn’t it? The old man didn’t think you were man enough to handle the captain position, did he?”
The crowd of men both old and new started shifting in their chairs awkwardly. I can hear the whispers of disbelief. Sure, there’d been arguments and back-talking before, especially when there was a yellow rider with a big attitude getting trained, but no one ever challenged me like this. Everyone knew that I backed up my words. And tonight wasn’t going to be any exception.
I step towards my spot, as I say boldly in my loudest voice, “I’d be up there if I was your daddy’s butt boy. But I don’t suck his dick enough, do I?”
A few brave souls actually laugh out loud, as Martin’s pale and pasty face seems to drain of all its color. His few henchmen surround him as he points a hand toward me. I don’t have time to react before one of his crew comes out from behind me and grabs me from around my shoulders. His surprise force brings me down to the ground quicker than my arms can fight against him. My knees smash into the concrete floor in a loud, dim thud. I look up just in time to see Martin standing above me. He swings his arm back behind his head in a wind up before slamming it directly into the side of my skull.
The searing pain of his fist is only made worse by the ringing in my ear. Through it, I can just make out the crowd shouting in a muffled roar. Martin talks over them, screaming madly, his veins popping from the side of his chubby neck. “And this is for my sister, you punk ass.”
There’s another direct hit, as I finally am able to pull my arms out from around the man holding me. I manage to catch myself with my hands before I fall forward. A small trickle of blood drips from the top of my temple, leaving a trail of my punishment.
As the room goes still and silent, everyone waiting for me to strike back, I take that deep breath in. It’s the one that keeps me from doing anything stupid. It’s the one that makes me think back on Vanessa and her arm around my waist. It brings me back to her pleading with me to go anywhere, anywhere but home.
I understood now. I understood more than I could before. The Bloody Pagans had a leader so blinded by his son he couldn’t see the hell he was about to get. These men in this room may not know me. They may only be a part of Martin’s reign. But if there was one thing that I was good at, it was rallying my own troops and keeping loyal to the ones that were true to me.
And that troop was going to include Vanessa Barber. I know that I made my promise to Vanessa to never see her again. I know that I promised myself that this was the end. But I was going to get Vanessa after all, and I was going to enjoy each and every moment of her.
Martin leans back over me as he gets in his last words, “You think about coming after me or my family, especially Vanessa, again, and I’ll personally kill you.”
I know I should be afraid. I should be enraged. But instead, something inside of me was growing even stronger…revenge.
CHAPTER 8
The house is finally silent. Finally.
After Gavin left, it was as if hell broke loose in the Barber den. I had never heard my dad scream so loud or so intensely at me. And for what? Bringing home a guy that he himself had given his seal of approval to by letting him into his club? I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t want to understand it.
All I want is Gavin.
I’m not sure why I am feeling the way I am, to be honest. It’s not as if we had any connection other than a night where I bandaged his hands and stared deeply into the puddles of his eyes. But he was different from anyone I had ever met in my entire life. He was a gentleman, a protector…unlike my father.
Hours pass, dinner goes by, and my father is still ranting away at my mom and me. It’s non-stop, as if we could have prevented the scene between Gavin and Martin. We were to blame. We were the weak ones who let the snake in the door.
My mom takes the brunt of it for me. Even hours later, and I can still hear him laying into her. And not just with words. As I lie awake in bed, I can hear her body crash up against the wall with a terrible, muted sound that echoes against my wall. I would give anything to run in there and stop him, but I know it would do neither of us any good. This was how my dad calmed himself—by hurting my poor mom into submission.
I roll over, as I try not to listen to their argument, a pillow wrapped around my head as I try to shut off the sound around me. I have to will myself to a happier place just to take my mind off of it. And to my dismay, it’s back in that bed with him. It’s that kiss, the first one with its urgency and wonderment. It’s how I was the one who made the first move, how he took off my shoes with the roughness of his worker’s hands, how I could hear his voice joking with me as if I was enough for him.
Sleep takes over the scene, as I find myself back there under that hunter green comforter. We’re back to where we left off, him pinning me into place against the sheets as he pushes his hips into mine. I wrap my arms around him, begging him to come down to me, but he shakes his head no. He’s had enough of kissing.
The warm, rough skin pulls at the edges of my black blouse. I feel the jagged edge of his nails, as he slowly lifts the fabric over my prickled skin. It lifts over my belly button and up past the outline of my ribcage till it gets to wire of the black, strapless bra. He stops, admiring the canvas he’s opened up. His mouth plants a soft kiss right between the bones of my chest, and a trail up to where he has let my shirt fall, where he can just make out the full underside of my breasts.
An arm wraps underneath me and pulls me towards to him, and before I can stop him or at least pretend to resist, my shirt is over my head. The arm that is still holding me up un
hooks the bra, freeing my breasts like a spring. I’ve never been this exposed to anyone in my life, but I want more of this freedom and flesh.
I place a hand around his waist and tug at the black t-shirt he has tucked messily into his jeans. It’s not as easy or as fluid for me to yank the shirt off a giant, so I get on my knees before him so that I am level with him, and in one solid pull it’s done, and we are both left to stare at one another—up close for the first time. His steely blue eyes remain on my breasts, but my hands reach out to trace the lines of his tattoos, all colorful and bold. They told a story that I want to know.
As I study the marks around his neck, I feel him stiffen underneath my soft touch. He pulls me up so that I am sitting up on his lap, still perched tightly on my knees. He lowers his mouth to my own neck, causing me to lose all control. My head tilts backwards, sending my hair cascading down my bare back. His warm mouth moves down over my shoulders and to my chest. They linger along the top of my cleavage, dipping in the curve of my breasts until finally landing on my nipple.
His tongue surprises me first. It’s as if I can feel every bump and ridge as it curls around the tip of my nipple. The sensation sends me flying back down to the pillow, him catching me mid-fall with his mouth still teasing and lapping at me. My legs hitch around his hips pulling him in for a better taste.
His teeth come next. They’re neither too sharp nor too quick, and they nibble at me as the tongue runs over the same spot. The other breast feels the weight of his hand, as he begins to gently warm up the skin. As his mouth sucks tenderly, his hand kneads deeply, massaging into me and then pulling right alongside his teeth.
My hips can’t resist this. They raise slightly, meeting his growing bulge against the thin layer of my jeans. I press even tighter up against him, loving the pressure of him rubbing on the tip of my clit. He notices it too, as the hand around my breast makes its way down to the waistband of my jeans. With his thumb wrapped in the hook of the belt straps, they slip lower and lower and lower, taking my panties with them.
“Gavin,” I whisper breathlessly, unsure of what I really need to say.
He places a finger to my lips as he says self-assured, “I know.”
The finger rests on my lips as I part them slightly. He pushes in so that I smell and taste his flesh in my mouth. His dry skin presses slightly at the roof of my mouth as it slowly pulls out and then hustles back in. On the second entry, I purse my lips together, keeping him in place. My tongue wrap around the tip of his finger just as he had done to my nipple while my teeth just gently touch down on the pad.
Gavin pulls his finger out altogether and then scoots himself up to me while a hand continues to hold me down at the hip. Our foreheads touch before our lips do, and I’m back to feeling the wave of wanting him to take hold of me as our mouths connect with a roar. I hold him to me, begging him to give me more, forcing him to kiss me deeply.
The hand that rests on my hips lifts, as I am too transfixed to notice. I feel the brush of his fingertips against my skin, but it isn’t until I feel two fingers directly on the top of my folds that I get what is about to happen. One of the two is the same finger that I just wet in my own mouth, and I’m thankful for the moisture.
The fingers circle slowly, putting pressure on my sex. The longer, middle finger hooks under to gently push away the folds of my pussy and then dips down inside. My clit practically opens itself to him like a flower primed and ready to bloom. His fingers explore the area first, gently touching at skin that’s never felt anyone’s touch before. And then, like an expert, he moves to the nub. His pressing causes me to jerk, as my own hand instantly reaches down to push him away. But he doesn’t move and instead kisses me even more intensely.
Gavin speeds up his massage while his large thumb digs into the top of my pussy just above the clit like an anchor. A third finger enters, behind the other two. I brace myself as I feel it coming. He slips himself inside me in a rush I’ve never experienced before. It sends shockwaves down my spine, causing me to curl into him, begging him for me. His finger hooks even higher into my now wet pussy.
The pit in my stomach that first opened when we kissed seems to be chiseling away with each of his movements. For every touch to my clit, it tears open, giving me an emptiness that cannot be filled. My mouth goes dry, as I find myself needing to moan, to cry, to scream. The hand that had swatted at him finds the blankets of the bed and holds on tighter while my other hand grabs around his shoulders, forcing him to look at me.
I know what is coming. I’ve heard about it before but have never felt it for myself. I want to ask him to stop. I want to beg him to keep going. And he just looks down at me with his wild, untamed face. And those eyes, those eyes that never seem to miss a thing…they hold me in place as I give myself to him.
My mind closes as everything fades to black. Everything disappears. The dream that I have created disappears around me. Gavin’s hands, his mouth, his body. Even the bed we are in melts away in a white and gray cloud, and I awaken. I’m covered in sweat, and tears that I had no idea I was crying seeping down my flushed cheeks.
The house is silent again. The silver moon pours through my open window which faces our front yard. I stare off out over the city lights and through the tree branches in search of something that tells me everything is going to be okay. And as I come to, I let myself listen in on the master bedroom next door. Thankfully, there’s nothing but the sound of my mother and father both snoring away.
After that dream, I can’t let myself go back to bed. Any other dream wouldn’t be enough for me. But as the quiet hours pass, it comes to me. I grab the phone charging on the charger, and I text the one person I know who’s going to be up at four in the morning: Alice! I need you to do me a favor.
A few agonizing minutes pass before she replies: Girl, it’s four in the morning. You can’t possibly need me to do something for you right now. Plus, I’m not exactly free, if you know what I mean.
I need you to get a hold of Gavin Wren. He’s the guy that I met at the party with the busted hand. I need him to meet me tonight. Can you do that?
There’s an even longer pause this time, as I wonder frantically if I have asked too much from her. This was my one true friend, the only person in my life I could really trust to be there for me. But she was also a Bloody Pagan loyalist with a lot to lose. Going against the club president could get her and her father in a ton of trouble. And if she let it slip to anyone that I was stepping out with Gavin, there could be even more at stake here.
Vanessa, I love you. I really do. But is he really worth this?
I write back without a second thought: Yeah. He is. And I have to see him. Can you do this for me?
She replies: I’ll arrange it. Midnight at the Sunset Bar. Moses told me that Gavin drinks with his runner friends there every Sunday night. There’s a back room there. We’ll get you in. You got a message you want me to send to him?
I go through three or four drafts before I finally send her: Tell Gavin that I want to make good on the promise to pay him back. He’ll know what that means.
She texted: Oh, I am sure we all get the gist of what you promised. There was a little mischievous winky face attached to her message.
I texted: I love you, Alice. I really do.
She responded: I love you too, but I hope you know what you’re doing.
For the first time in my life, I am certain that I do.
CHAPTER 9
“Man, I can’t believe you fucking did that. Have you gone nuts or something? Did that Barber pussy get you sprung?”
“I wish.” I sigh heavily, as Thad places a bandage over the cut on my eyebrow. “I didn’t even get past first base with her last night.”
“Damn.” He sounds even more disappointed than I feel. “So all of this for a girl you didn’t even get to screw? That’s a crying shame. All the boys that saw her say there’s a reason why her dad keeps her under lock and key.”
“Yeah, I’ll give ‘em that. She is
fine as hell…thick in all the right places. But besides seeing her in her panties, she was passed out drunk before we could get to the tasty part.” My mind drifts back to the sweet, summertime smell of her hair and the round line of her ass as she bent over to pull up those tight jeans of hers.
I add as an explanation, “But I don’t give a shit who Martin Barber is. You don’t ever sucker punch me, especially at a dinner table when I’m just trying to get through my day.” I lower my voice, as I look around the empty meeting hall, and continue, “And you certainly don’t do it in front of my boys. If he thinks he can turn those guys against me over something as small as bringing his sister home after a night of drinking, he’s got another thing coming for him.”
“I don’t think it’s just that, Gavin. I think the boy has a legitimate beef with you. You’re a threat. You know the routes better than any man here, and you’ve got the respect of all the runners from newbies to retirees. That’s pretty powerful, especially when you’re a sniveling little road dick who rides limp every time he gets out there.”
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