by Jamie Cage
The responsibility of doing the right thing to keep everybody alive and safe weighed down heavy on Andy’s shoulders. However, he was momentarily distracted by his senses confusing his head. He was so sure he smelled Donnie around, the scent was so familiar and so powerful; yet no matter where he looked, there were no signs of the brown haired man. That was until a substantial body started to fall from a tree. In a flash, Donnie was crouching down on the ground, struggling to gain his balance. He had just, very ungracefully, fallen from the top of one of the trees.
“I see, you are stalking me now, Donnie?”
Donnie smiled every time Andy said his name. He was so happy to see him and so embarrassed by his awkward entrance that he couldn’t say anything, he didn’t even notice the unusual dread that was haunting Andy.
“Come on, walk with me.” Andy invited him.
“Oh, now you’re inviting me. How nice of you. You must seriously like me.”
Although he had meant to be flirtatious and only tease Andy a little, Donnie had never expected the answer that would follow.
“Of course I like you, Donnie. I’m sure I like you too much.”
The admission made Donnie stop dead in his tracks, but Andy continued to walk as if nothing had happened, so the younger one struggled to catch up with his heart running and a blush running to his cheeks.
“Excuse me?”
“No.” Andy answered curtly but looked back at Donnie with a warm smile. “God, I really like you. You can’t imagine… And still, here I am, asking you to leave.”
Andy talked with a whimsical tone that any other day would have had Donnie mesmerized. But the last sentence inevitably stood out.
“Wait, wait, wait. You can’t just do that!” Donnie said after Andy who only looked at him confused. “You can’t admit you like me all casually like that and then say some nonsense immediately after!”
“It’s not nonsense. Please listen…”
“I like you too!” Donnie loudly admitted, as if needing the entire forest to know.
“Don’t.” Andy covered his face with his hands and finally looked regretfully at Donnie to explain for once and for all.
“You are the greatest thing that had happened to me or this forest in a very long time. But beautiful, magical things like you are in danger being so close to people who don’t understand you.” Andy made a sign towards the town and then continued to talk. “Magic is supposed to run free, to be spread all over the world, not staying caged in this small piece of land, tied to another thing that has locked itself in shadows. Some things are meant to remain a secret.”
Halfway through the speech, Andy had picked up Donnie’s hand. During that last sentence, Andy got close to Donnie and kissed the side of his head, tightened the hold briefly on his hand but then, finally, he let go of the other man altogether and started walking away.
Donnie couldn’t really believe it. He stood still as a statue, watching Andy walk away with his head down and his entire demeanor broken. It was crazy, to think of all the beautiful things Andy had just said to him mixed the painful fact that they couldn’t be together anymore if they had ever been.
“What about the beautiful and magical things that we do together?” Donnie wondered out loud, in a whisper, even though Andy was already too far away to hear. Was he?
Chapter 4
It took Donnie some time, some hours, to accept that maybe Andy was right. The younger man had to go through a series of impulsive, heart-break induced acts to make sense of all the things that were going on inside his head. For example, Donnie’s first reaction was to take on his wolf form; running through the woods like a wild animal felt good and freeing, it never failed. Working on instincts and hunger and forgetting all about your heart and your brain was precisely what Donnie needed. However, he had apparently underestimated his feelings for Andy. Because even as a wolf his insides were screaming for Andy. Even as an animal he still could feel his heart aching and his mind racing and even his instincts were guiding him straight into town, closer than he had ever been, close enough to be considered foolishly dangerous.
As Donnie gathered the strength to run in the opposite direction, adrenaline burning in his veins, he realized that all of those things mattered. What he felt meant something, it wasn’t worthless. And who was Andy, anyway, to decide how things worked? Donnie could feel his heart racing towards a decision, a revelation and something that was acceptable by his brain.
The moment finally came when the moon was shining brightly up above him, right in the middle of the sky. It was midnight and Donnie was standing naked in the middle of the forest, he had barely realized he had changed shape. He was somewhat preoccupied in other things. He had made a decision. Hastily he ran around, looking for spare clothes that Andy had around the forest, he got dressed as best as possible and started moving towards the city again. Donnie calculated and controlled all his moves; he was acting like a real man, perhaps a real wolf going after prey. His actions were determined and confident like he had seen Andy move so many times, aware of everything around him and unafraid. Most importantly, as he finally entered the sleeping town, Donnie moved stealthily.
It wasn’t difficult to find Andy. After all, Donnie was entirely familiarized with his scent by then, but also, Andy was no doubt the only other werewolf around. So Donnie moved slowly and carefully through empty streets until he reached Andy’s small house, a little retired from the rest, a little simple, undoubtedly comfortable for him.
Andy was sleeping, he was restless, but he was also incredibly tired and drained –emotionally exhausted, after the talk he had had with Donnie. It hadn’t been easy, and on his way home, Andy had regretted his decision many, many times. But what else could he have done? Let it all continue and risking that Donnie ended hurt or hurting a human? Letting his neighbors find out his secret and maybe attempt to kill him?
Although his exhaustion had tired him enough to let an intruder get inside his home, it hadn’t been enough to make them get too close. Even in his sleep, Andy started growling, and then he finally woke up with a start, still in his human forms but baring his teeth. What he found, though, was a complete surprise. Donnie was currently hanging from the open window of Andy’s bedroom. Looking sheepish and slightly embarrassed, but cute and enchanting as ever.
“Hey there, coward.”
“What?” Andy answered, somewhat considering he was dreaming.
“That’s right. I called you a coward.” Donnie whispered and then made an effort to climb the rest of the way over the window and arrive at Andy’s bedroom. “You found something great and you’re going to let it go? You are something great and you are going to hide yourself? I’m not going to let you!”
Andy was confused, at first; he had tried to interrupt Donnie after each question. But the brown-haired man didn’t allow it; he continued talking with a passion and with his sweet eyes glowing even in the dimly lit room. Andy was enamored by the ardor in the other man’s words, the excitement in his tone, the hidden promise of the last sentence.
“What do you mean?” Andy finally asked, with a smile. He had pushed himself up with one arm on the bed and Donnie had gotten so, so close.
“Run away with me.”
It didn’t matter if it was a question, request, order, plead, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. What really mattered was the perfect kiss that Donnie gave Andy in that instant. He kissed him with all the thrill and magic they had shared since the very second they were aware of each other’s presence in the world. Their lives had, without a doubt, changed since the moment they met. That meant there was no going back; they couldn’t undo the feelings they had for each other. It was a matter of accepting them or denying them, moving forward or retreating. Initially, it seemed like Andy had taken that decision for both of them. However, Donnie couldn’t just sit back and accept that; he had to fight, he had to push a little and try to save the magic, see what Andy did with that.
“Of course. Of course, let’s go
. I’ll follow you anywhere.”
Those were Andy’s words, whispered and rushed so he could get to kiss Donnie again. But the words were there, and they were even better than what Donnie could have imagined. It turns out that Andy is not afraid of ruining the quiet and discreet life he had, he was delighted with the idea of simply starting a new life, especially if it included Donnie beside him.
Chapter 5
In the blink of an eye, Donnie and Andy were ready to go. At first, there hadn’t been a plan.
“Just run with me! Let’s go to the woods and get lost! We can go north, or south, I can’t tell the difference. Let’s just move forward and see where we end up.” Donnie said, with childish excitement that warmed Andy’s heart and worried his brain.
After affectionately ruffling Donnie’s hair Andy had to be the one to bring some sense into him.
“We are not going to go completely wild and live in the woods forever, kid. Let’s make a plan.”
“Don’t be boring. Just because your fur is gray doesn’t mean you’re a wise, old dog.” Donnie teased Andy; both of them actually enjoyed the playfulness of their relationship. “We’ll make a plan as we move! Just start packing if that’s what you really want and we’ll be on our way!”
So that was exactly what they did. Although it was difficult to maintain any sort of seriousness and keep Donnie from messing up Andy’s clothes and entire house, they started packing. Andy had two backpacks, and he filled them mostly with clothes and more clothes. Being shapeshifters, it was so easy to lose track of their clothes every time they changed their form. So, taking only bare essentials, they started discussing their destination.
“What about the Arctic? Or the Antarctica? I bet penguins are fun and we have enough fur to…”
“What even would we do in the frozen poles of the earth, Donnie?” Andy laughed.
“I just want to explore! Will you travel the world with me?”
Donnie would continuously drop questions like that, lovingly holding onto Andy and staring into those sparkling gray eyes with so much emotion that it made them both shake.
“Right. What about the beach? I’m sure you would lose your mind at the first sight of the sea.” Andy laughed again and again when he saw the faraway expression in Donnie’s eyes. The brown-eyed man surely imagined the situation, and if he had been in the shape of a wolf, it was granted that his tail would have been moving wildly in excitement.
That was until Donnie’s eyes turned unusually whimsical. It was strange, seeing the lively man suddenly appear worried about something. Andy didn’t know how to react at all, what to say or do, so he silently remained folding his clothes and ignoring the lull in the conversation.
“What about a pack?” Donnie asked suddenly, his eyes staring intensely into Andy’s eyes for a second until something changed and he continued talking avoiding all possible eye contact. “You know, a pack, a family, wolf, humans, I don’t know. Do you have one, ever been a part of one… do you want one… want to find one?”
Donnie’s voice was shaking slightly, and Andy was at a loss, he had no idea what to do in that situation. Maybe he had really been quite lonely up until he met the younger man. He was nervous as well; he didn’t want to hurt or disappoint Donnie, so he talked casually, pretending to have the confidence he usually carried and then he answered.
“Yes, of course, I come from a pack. Don’t we all? I did follow a more, let’s say, human-leaning group. I ended up with a somewhat human family, almost nuclear in the sense that regular humans think of it. It’s nice, it’s interesting. But, you know, we grow up, we part ways, we always do. Maybe I got too attached to entirely human ways, maybe it was something about this charming little town but I settled down here alone, and that was it. I don’t know what’s in the future…”
When Andy finished talking, his voice drifting off in sudden vulnerability, Donnie finally raised his eyes to look into the precious gray eyes that were awaiting him. A million questions were being exchanged in those seconds, their eyes were nervous, their hearts racing. Donnie was sure of one thing when Andy opened his mouth to continue talking. He was sure Andy was about to ask him about his past or his desires for the future. He had been stupid, why had he asked the one thing he didn’t want to talk about? He wondered. Then, acting on impulse, trying to save everything by letting out a crazy thought that technically was part of his genuine desires, he spoke.
“Let’s go to Europe.”
Chapter 6
When the man you’re falling in love with asks you to run away to Europe with him, you just can’t say no. So Andy needed very little convincing. In a matter of minutes, both men were on their way towards the faraway shore of the continent. It was true; they didn’t have any plans. But they found that running wildly through mountains and valleys was the most beautiful thing they had ever done, because they were doing it together, because they were inspired by the promise of a future filled with so much more of that. They were in their shapes of wolves. Brown and gray they fled the little town, they crossed hills after hills, rivers and lakes, dry valleys and the sides of big cities. It certainly would have been a strange sight to witness, two big wolves running beside each other with an apparent destination… carrying backpacks by holding the straps with their teeth.
They were having so much fun; they had even decided to take a ship, not a plane, because that way they would get to see more of the world, more sights, and more adventure. But, secretly, they both were aware of the fact that wolves or not, they lived in a world controlled by humans. And in the human world, you need passports and documents alike to cross the oceans. Andy was prepared, more familiarized with the ways of the species. In contrast, Donnie had literally lived in forest for most of his life; he didn’t carry any documentation. So they had to find a way to sneak him in, and a ship seemed more accessible than a plane.
Andy had managed to beg and intimidate enough people, with his bright smile or mean stare equally, and got his massive pet wolf inside the ship. Once they were both in, things were more relaxed, complicated and stressful but manageable. Donnie would usually adopt his human shape and move through the ship as any other regular passenger would. However, it was fun for everybody on board to see the two grown men jump overwhelmed and ecstatic by the sight of water and then a second later nauseous and shaking. Their bodies used to being so close to the earth, and the woods were having a hard time getting used to the water. Simultaneously, the sights and the marvel of it all was crazy, was otherworldly, and most importantly, it was perfect to enjoy it together.
“I need the earth.” Donnie dramatically said, while laying down on the floor of their room. “Where’s the soil? The dirt?”
Andy would laugh a little, but he was equally as uncomfortable. Resting on the bed with his arm covering his eyes.
“Let’s go to Europe! It will be fun!” Even with his sickness, Andy didn’t miss a chance to make fun of Donnie.
“Shut up! You know you… like… the idea…” Donnie stuttered, trusting that in their weak state Andy wouldn’t notice how he almost slipped the word “love” in there.
Andy stayed still, letting Donnie lose his worries. However, his stomach was fluttering for a whole new reason. Under his arms and out of sight for Donnie, Andy had a huge smile on his lips.
In any way, they remained with their routine for the whole time it took them to arrive at the other continent. At times it was beautiful, the company and the open sea. At times it was painful, feeling dizzy and nauseous and overthinking their relationship. Mostly, though, they were content, and when they finally reached land, they were both so excited they almost unknowingly turned into the shape of wolves. That would have created some disaster for sure. The worst was over, and the best was about to start, they were so sure of it. It was like starting their honeymoon; the simple thought was capable of making them blush.
Chapter 7
There was simply no way for their time together in Europe to start the wrong way. As much as
he tried being realistic and stay down to earth, it was impossible for even Andy to have negatives thoughts. Everything was going according to plan. It was easy, to change shape and travel comfortably and freely through these new lands. It was exciting and thrilling to find new ways to sneak in and survive in small towns, villages, big cities, new countries. Everything was new! And their wolves’ sides were having the time of their lives with the new scents and sights and just the feeling of this new ground under their paws.
On green hills, covered by the sun and with the softest grass one could imagine, Andy and Donnie would run without any worries. They would have fun and jump and playfully fight each other. Andy, personally, had never imagined a world where he could change his shape so naturally and be so comfortable and so unafraid. Not as he used to be, brave because he had to, but now he was fearless because there was nothing to fear. They could both notice that his silver fur was gaining brightness and he was getting stronger. He needed the fresh air and time away from the dark woods of his old home. Donnie was still, as a wolf, so much like a puppy. He would lay on his back, wiggle his paws, his tail was always moving, and his tongue happily slipping from his snout. Those were happy and bright days.
