by Jade West
They could all be getting a piece for all I knew. They could have recurring diary appointments with the guy whose baby was growing in my belly, and I wouldn’t have the faintest idea.
I’d been such a fool to think I could live with that. Such a fool to think I could carry on without giving it a thought.
I gritted my teeth and smiled through the party, made small talk as best I could, but it was a relief when it wrapped up for the evening and I could get home with Ruby. Bath and bedtime were earlier than usual, but I was still pooped. Insanely pooped.
I’m sure I was a million times more tired now I actually knew I was pregnant than I’d been before.
I crashed on the sofa to watch TV with Nanna, and she wasn’t exactly coy with her conversation.
“No Darren this evening?”
“No, Nanna. He’s probably busy.”
Or ignoring me.
“We could do with a strong man around the house, Jo. Good for getting the cobwebs down from the landing.”
“Yes, Nanna. I’ll ask him to get up there with the feather duster next time he’s over. He doesn’t need to move in for that.”
“Not for that,” she said. “It’s just a bit of icing on the cake, love.”
I turned to face her. “You’d be happy with that? Darren moving in here?”
Like I needed to ask. Her smile was bright, creasing her cheeks with happiness. “Oh yes, love. The girls, too. Just think how happy the girls would be.”
I was trying not to think about that. Trying not to ponder fantasies for their sake. The thought of crippling them with grief if it didn’t work out again was too much to take.
I was yawning all the way through her crime programme, couldn’t keep myself awake.
“I’ve got to go to bed, Nanna. I’m pooped.”
I gave her a hug on the way past and she rubbed my back. “You get some sleep, my girl. You look exhausted.”
I felt it.
I checked my phone again before lights out, but there were no messages.
Radio silence from Darren Trent. Maybe things weren’t all that different this time around.
I tried not to think of all the people he might be with, tried not to consider that any of the women at Ruby’s Halloween party could have made a move straight over to his after dropping the kids home.
My hand was on my belly, my thoughts were all with him. They’d always been with him.
I didn’t want to cry, but I did.
I’d never been pregnant and alone before. Pregnant and scared, but never alone.
Christ, what a fucking mess.
I propped a load of pillows at the side of me and flung my arm over the lot of them, pretended there was someone there with me, pretended he was just busy, just busy with normal shit, pretended he wasn’t a fucking gigolo and that things would be just fine.
Halloween night. I could see the Drum through my window, packed to the rafters with people in daft fucking costumes. The urge for a nice cold pint was eating at me, but I didn’t go out. I didn’t want to see anyone, not one single fucking person in there.
I watched shit on TV and looked through the pics of Ruby that Jo had messaged through.
It broke my fucking heart.
I’d had a fair few cans before my phone pinged again, and again it was that fucking Lorraine bitch and not Jo.
Party starts at 7.30. I’d get there at 7.15 if I were you, make sure you’re not late for the action, hey? Maybe you can take Jodie off for some one on one if she’s game for it.
My text back was instant.
You’re a bitter old fucking cunt, Lorraine. Stay the fuck out of my fucking face.
Another ping.
Oh, Darren! Don’t be like that. You and I both know you’ll be there. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, diddums, but I did try to warn you. xx
And another. Don’t let her get to you. I can’t believe you ever thought she’d really have you back. x
I threw my phone against the wall and the screen fizzled and went black. I threw my beer can after it. It caught the framed picture of Ruby and Mia on the roundabout up by my parents’ house, and the whole thing swayed and then slipped from its hook. It landed with a crash of splintered glass. I pulled the photo from the wreckage and my girls smiled out at me.
I’d give anything to be with those girls. Any fucking thing.
But that wasn’t it. Not even close. That didn’t even come close to justifying how much I wanted to be back in Jodie’s bed, back in her life, back in her arms at night.
Anger, so much anger, anger at that bitch Lorraine, anger at myself. Anger that I couldn’t fucking say what I needed to say, couldn’t put it out there enough to drive to Jodie’s and tell her how it fucking was, tell her that I’d rather cut my fucking dick off than have her at some dirty fucking gangbang at Lorraine’s house.
Tell her it was breaking my fucking heart.
That she was breaking my fucking heart.
That my heart had been fucking broken since the day she told me it was over. Since the day she’d finally packed up her things and left me on my fucking own.
It’d been a long fucking time since I’d cried actual tears over Jodie Symmonds.
The last time had been in Lorraine’s seedy fucking arms, her greedy fucking cunt eating me up and making it all better.
Like Lorraine could ever fucking make it better.
Nothing would ever make it fucking better.
Still nothing from Darren. I stared at my phone and scowled, shoving it back in my apron pocket before Lorraine caught wind of it.
“Excited for tonight?” she said.
I nodded. “Should be fun.”
She came close. “You shopping for you and Darren?”
I didn’t answer.
She nudged me in the arm. “Oh come on, Jodie. Don’t think I’m not aware you two are back together. I know I was… concerned… but we’re friends, aren’t we?”
I smiled. “Yeah, we’re friends.”
“So,” she prompted. “What are you going to be shopping for?”
I felt a blush brewing. “I don’t know!” I kept my smile coy. “I’ll have to keep an open mind, won’t I? I’m sure something will take my fancy.”
I didn’t say that he was being a dick, that he was barely speaking to me, that I’d told him I loved him and he’d cooled off faster than a hotdog in the snow.
That still fucking hurt.
“Seven-thirty,” she said. “Prompt. Make sure you’re there on the dot, alright? We have some games planned.”
I rolled my eyes. “Christ, Lorraine, I dread to think. Don’t think I’m doing any of that pass the vibrator between your knees rubbish.”
“Spoilsport,” she scoffed. “Seven-thirty, right?”
I ditched my apron, shift done. “Seven-thirty,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll be on time.”
“Can’t wait.” She grinned.
My phone was trashed, wouldn’t even start up.
I left it on the desk in the garage and tried to get on with the backlog of car services, tried to pretend I didn’t give a shit about this gangbang at Lorraine’s, that it didn’t matter if Jodie was there or not, that it didn’t matter if she really loved me.
I’ll be alright, I told myself.
I’ll get through it, just like last time.
The guys said virtually nothing all fucking day, banter well and truly dead to the bone.
“Did you talk to her?” Buck asked before they left for the day. “Please fucking tell me you talked to her?”
I shrugged. “Not my business, Buck.”
He shook his head. “You’re a fucking idiot, Trent.”
“Yeah, well, better to be a fucking idiot than played for a fucking idiot.”
He slapped my back. “Ain’t none of us gonna be touching your missus, don’t you be fucking worrying about that.”
I nodded.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said. “Talk to her.”
I t
ried to keep busy at the yard, but the clock kept fucking ticking. I couldn’t stop fucking looking at it.
When the time neared seven I couldn’t fucking take it, couldn’t stay fucking still.
I tried to remember Jo’s mobile number, to call her from the landline, but it’d been so fucking long since I’d dialled it manually that I couldn’t fucking dredge it from my brain.
Shit.
I could make seven-fifteen, but only if I raced like a fucking idiot.
I raced like a fucking idiot.
I pulled up outside Lorraine’s with a big fucking screech. Bailed out of the truck without even locking it. I threw myself through the front door and along the hallway, swinging the living room door open wide as I called Jodie’s name.
Jesus fucking wept.
Jodie wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but she was about the only one.
Naked fucking bodies everywhere. I tried to keep my eyes on the faces and not the bouncing tits and gaping fucking pussy all over the place. Mandy Taylor, her cunt stretched around Buck’s dick, Petey riding her fucking asshole at the same time. Debbie Gibson with Hugh’s dick down her throat, makeup and spit all over her dirty fucking face.
Lorraine was riding Jimmy O, her big fucking tits bouncing around as he thrust up into her asshole. She had a vibe against her clit, and he was jamming his fingers in her cunt, stretching her over his knuckles.
Jesus fucking Christ.
A couple of other women I recognised from the garage. Mary Roberts, who’d dropped her car in three times this last month for stupid shit, and her neighbour Donna who kept flashing me slutty looks in the village shop. They giggled and spread their legs, pussies fucking glistening.
I knew before Lorraine said it. I just fucking knew.
“They’re waiting for your gorgeous dick, Trent,” she said. “Be a good boy and give it to them good and hard, won’t you?”
I stepped backwards. “Where’s Jodie?”
She pulled herself from Jimmy’s cock with a squelch, and the prick looked at me like a fucking dullard, not the faintest fucking clue what was going down here.
I saw Buck look my way, but waved him to carry on, no point this shit turning into a bigger fucking mess than it was already.
Lorraine came over, swinging her naked hips like a wanton fucking whore.
“Jodie’s not coming, Trent. Do you really think I’d let her come to a fucking Bang Gang? If she was here I wouldn’t get a look in. I told her it was cancelled. You can relax now.” She ran her hand up my chest. I took her wrist, held it still.
“No,” I said. “I’m not fucking playing.”
“I can pay well. I’ll pay whatever you want. One final blowout. What harm would it do?”
“No,” I said. “No fucking way. We’re done.”
She giggled, pretended to be drunk, and I saw all the empty bottles around the place. Seven-fifteen start my fucking ass.
Hugh shot his load all over Debbie’s slutty face, and she groaned and grunted, flicked her clit as she licked it up.
Mandy was squealing like a pig. Stretch me! Oh fucking stretch me! Make me fucking take it!
I could hear the noise her cunt was making all the way across the fucking room.
Petey pulled from her ass and slid into her pussy alongside Buck, and I cringed. Lorraine hadn’t been teaching him that fucking well.
She raised an eyebrow. “Lad’s coming along, isn’t he? Remember how wet behind the ears you were when you first came to my door?”
“Shut up,” I said. “Just shut the fuck up, Lorraine.”
She pulled a face. “Don’t pretend you didn’t love it, Trent. Remember when I made you eat my cunt all night long? Remember when I kept you on edge for five hours straight? Remember how hard you came?” She squeezed my dick through my jeans, grabbed hard. “You remember that, Darren, I know you do.”
I stepped away from her but she followed. “Fuck off,” I said. “I mean it. I was here for Jodie.”
“Does she know how dirty I made you? Does she know all the filthy things we did together, you and me?” She laughed. “Does she know how you made me gush all over your cock, drench you and lick it all up again? Does she know how rough you got? Does she know you’ve still got scars from my nails, Darren? Has she seen them?”
I made my way to the door, my eyes burning hers, not fucking trusting her enough to turn my back.
She cupped her big tits, starting tweaking her nipples. “Does she know you let me tie you up? Does she know what I did to you?”
“Stop,” I said. “I fucking mean it.”
“Does she know how you loved my tongue up your ass? Does she, Trent?”
“Just shut the fuck up!”
“Does she know how you cried like a baby in my arms?”
“You’re a bitch,” I said. “A scheming fucking bitch.”
She beckoned the girls up from the floor. “Take him.” She laughed. “This is what you’ve been waiting for, ladies, he’s only being coy.”
Two giggling drunks leapt into action, and Lorraine rushed me before I could brush them off. She caught me off balance and jammed me into the wall, her hands on my belt before I could stop her.
I pushed Mary off me, but Donna was already laughing in my ear, her tits pressing against me. Her hands were under my t-shirt, she giggled as she tried to pull it off me.
I heard Buck’s voice. “Eh, Lorraine. Knock it fucking off, yeah?”
I felt a flash of humiliation, like I needed the guys to get me out of this fucking shit. I pushed Donna away, but Mary was back, she took up what Donna started and her mouth was on my skin, licking up my belly. It made my skin crawl.
“Stop,” I said. “Just fucking stop it.”
I pushed her away, but Lorraine dug her nails into my wrist. My eyes were fucking fierce, it took everything I had not to give her a backhander right across her filthy fucking mouth.
She knew I wouldn’t. She smirked as my jeans dropped, laughed as Mary’s hand buried in my boxers and pulled my cock out before I could push her off me.
“You’ve got ten fucking seconds,” I said, and my voice was low and vicious. “Ten fucking seconds to back the fuck off, or I promise you’ll be fucking sorry. I’m not playing, Lorraine, I’m not fucking playing.”
“Pack it in, Lorraine,” Buck called. “He’s not fucking game.”
“Ten seconds,” I repeated.
The whole room stank of sex, Mandy’s cunt still fucking squelching as she rode Petey’s dick. Jimmy O was in her face, slapping her mouth with his cock, opportunistic prick.
Debbie was looking my way, bouncing on Hugh’s dick with a stupid grin on her face.
“Five fucking seconds,” I growled.
I gripped Mary’s wrist, pulled it from my cock.
“You want it.” Lorraine smirked. “You’re hard, Trent.”
Three women laughed and grabbed me, and I was ready to lose my shit and shove those skanky bitches the fuck off me and get the fuck out of there, but I didn’t get chance.
Footsteps in the hallway, and a laugh I recognised.
Lorraine’s face was victorious as she registered the horror on mine.
She stepped away from me, turned naked to her latest guests.
I heard Jodie’s voice and I could have fucking died. “Darren’s truck is here. I can’t believe he actually showed up!” She was laughing. She started as she saw Lorraine, and my heart fell. “What the hell? I thought this was a… girls’ night… what the…”
Her eyes met mine, and it mattered little that I shoved those bitches flying and pulled my jeans up. Lorraine sidled up to me, tried to kiss me, and I shoved her away, too.
“Oh, Darren!” she said. “Don’t be such a spoilsport. Look, Jodie’s here now!”
Jo’s face was a fucking picture. She stared at me, only me.
“Darren..?”
The fucking horror. Those bitches at the floor around my feet, stark bollock naked. The rest of the guys in the room, rutting
away on people she fucking knew.
At her fucking friend’s house.
Her naked friend’s house.
Tonya’s face looked like thunder. “What the fuck is this, Trent?”
“This isn’t what it fucking looks like,” I snapped.
Jodie’s eyes were wide, her face like a fucking ghost.
“Jo,” I said. “This isn’t what it fucking looks like! I came here for you.”
Her lip trembled, and the guys stopped rutting. Everyone stopped everything, apart from Petey who was grunting and spurting his cum over Many Taylor’s tits.
Fucking hell.
Her voice was just a whisper. “You think I came here for this? You really think I’d come here for this? After what I said! After everything we said!” She shook her head in exasperation, and it was so obvious. So fucking obvious.
“Jo…” I said.
But she held up her hand.
“Sorry, Jodie,” Lorraine said. She put her hand on Jodie’s shoulder, pulled a sad face. “I needed to show you. It was the only way. The guy’s a fucking loser, he’s been fucking me for years. I should’ve told you sooner.”
I could have ripped her fucking head off.
Buck was getting dressed. “Quit it, Lorraine!” he barked.
Hugh was pulling his jeans up, Jimmy too.
Jodie looked at the floor. “You set me up? Got me out here just to show me you were fucking him too?”
“Not just me! Everyone!” Lorraine sighed. “For your own good, Jodie. You don’t need him… he’s not worth it.”
I watched Tonya lose her shit, her face a grimace as she made to land Lorraine a sharp one on the fucking jaw, but she didn’t get a chance.
The attack came from Jodie, and it took my breath. Jo slapped her good and proper, right across Lorraine’s stupid smug face. The crack of it sounded right through the fucking room, and Lorraine stumbled back, dumbstruck.
“Stay away from me!” Jodie hissed. “You’re a bitch, Lorraine, nothing but a skanky fucking bitch!”
I took a step towards her. “Jo,” I said. “This isn’t what it looks like, I promise you.”
Her eyes told me everything I needed to know, brimming with tears and burning with anger. “No!” she said. “I just can’t… I can’t believe you… you and… her…”
