by A. J. Locke
“Are you OK?” Micah whispered. His voice trembled. I knew how that ordeal had felt but I couldn’t imagine how it must have looked. Like the stuff of nightmares, I bet.
“Fairly certain I’m not.” My voice was shaky too, and rough. I needed water and lots of it. I raised my head. “I lost control. I tried not to but it overwhelmed me. I didn’t mean to…those ghosts…” Tears stung my eyes. I was burned out and felt horrible for what I had done to those ghosts. It had never been the plan to turn them into ghost food.
“It’s OK,” Micah said. He pulled me back in and gently stroked my hair.
“No, it’s not.” I knew he was just trying to be comforting, but lies wouldn’t do anything for me right now. “This all went so wrong.”
“Selene.” I looked up to see Tielle standing behind Micah. I would have thought she’d look pissed, but she looked concerned.
“What happened? Did I…”
“About fourteen ghosts went through you,” Tielle said. “There were over thirty in the area or close by, but the necromancers were able to keep them back once you started to regain control. The ones that needed to go were sent through the necromancer circle.”
I looked behind Tielle and saw that the circle had been deactivated and the necromancers who’d been part of it were being examined by dead witch doctors to assess any damage that had been done to them. They all looked exhausted.
“Fourteen,” I repeated hollowly. “Oh God. They weren’t all crossover ghosts, were they?”
“No,” Tielle said, looking grave.
“Shit.” I ran a shaky hand over my mouth. There wasn’t a word strong enough to describe how I felt.
“I will handle it,” Tielle said. “It could have been a lot worse. We knew it was a gamble allowing you to do this with power you had so newly acquired, so the responsibility of what happened here falls on us. You did a good job.”
It didn’t feel like it though. My body buzzed with hyper-awareness. Garrus felt too close, almost as though he was in my skin with me. It was an uncomfortable feeling that I wanted to suppress. Feeding him ghosts seemed to make the connection stronger, and I was terrified to know what that could possibly mean.
Micah helped me to my feet, but I remained leaning against him and he kept his arm around me. Someone handed me a bottle of water.
“So what’s the outcome?” I asked once I had drained the bottle. My voice sounded less croaky. “I had to pull the dead magic out of the runes in order to get it back under control so I’m not sure if I was able to call in all of the crossover ghosts.”
“Let me find out,” Tielle asked. She beckoned someone over who gave her a clipboard.
“A hundred and twelve ghosts were recalled,” she said. “It’s close to the estimated number of ghosts we’d calculated, but I’m certain we did not get them all.”
“I guess the most important thing would be to know if all the ghosts who attacked someone were sent back,” I said.
“Yes, we will soon be able to determine that,” Tielle said. Just then, someone came running up to Tielle. It was Emilia.
“Tielle, I’ve just received word from some necromancers who are at the open circle in Central Park,” she said. “It closed!”
“What?” Tielle, Micah, and I said in unison. We turned our complete attention to her.
“Well, not a hundred percent,” Emilia said, some of her excitement dissipating. Mine did too. I’d been about to jump for joy over the knowledge that Garrus wouldn’t be able to cross over.
“What are you talking about?” Tielle asked sharply.
“The circle closed drastically,” Emilia said. “And we realized that as ghosts were being sent back, it was causing the circle to close. But since you’ve stopped now, it’s also stopped closing. It remains about ten percent open. Before, it was about forty percent open.”
Micah, Tielle, and I turned to each other.
“So the reason the circle remained open was because the crossover ghosts were still here,” I said.
“Incredible,” Tielle said, “I would not have guessed that was the reason the circle remained open. It is the simplest reason and I was looking for a far more complex answer.”
“This is great,” I said. “If we can finish sending all the ghosts back we can close the circle completely and I won’t die.”
“What?” Tielle and Micah said in unison. I forgot they didn’t know about the repercussions to me if Garrus crossed over. Tielle dismissed Emilia, then I told her and Micah the scary truth.
“How do you know this?” Micah asked. He looked stricken to say the least.
“Magda,” I said. “And I trust her knowledge.”
“We will have to try this again,” Tielle said. “If the circle is open ten percent, that’s enough for ghosts to continue crossing over. The only good news is that they won’t be doing so at the same speed as before. Once Selene has made a full recovery we will do it once more.”
“Yeah, you’ll have to give me a good amount of time on that,” I said. “Right now I am exhausted and starving. I sure wish I was going home to one of Ethan’s meals…” I stopped and my mouth hung open as I just realized something. I looked from Tielle to Micah, who were looking at me questioningly.
“We need to send all the ghosts back to close the circle but we forgot one very, huge detail,” I said. “There may be more ghosts out there that didn’t get drawn in. But they aren’t the only ones who are still on this side. The ghosts you drew out to save Ethan, the ones in the runes on his back…”
Realization dawned on Micah and Tielle.
“The circle will never close if they aren’t sent back too.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
“So how many ghosts are in those runes?” I asked. It was two days later, and I’d had enough food and rest to feel back to normal, or as normal as I could feel with an unwanted power inside me and a connection to an aggressive ghost in the In Between. Tielle, Micah, and I were in Renton’s bunker in a side room while Ethan was out in the main area.
“About twenty,” Tielle replied.
“Shit.” I sighed and glanced through the crack in the door where Ethan was chattering excitedly. Not to himself though; his mother, father, and sister were with him. There were plenty of tears, along with a lot of marveling at the fact that Ethan once again occupied a physical body.
“And tell me again why you brought his family to see him? Not to sound cold, but in light of everything it didn’t seem like the right moment to spring this on them.”
“We had no choice, the arrangements had been made before the plans to send the crossover ghosts back had been done,” Tielle replied. “I had received word from my superiors that they would support the success of the experiment and approved Ethan going public and rejoining society.”
“I wouldn’t say a necromancer circle that remains open and continues to allow ghosts to cross back over was a success,” I said.
“Their concern mainly lay with the success of the body,” Tielle said. “Making sure it held up and did not fall apart. There are ways to deal with an open circle.”
“I see.” I was not really surprised at the Paranormal Sector’s decision to call this a success despite the prevailing issues. They were opportunists, and the recreation of Ethan’s body would provide opportunities that they would be sure to exploit in order to advance their agenda.
Once Ethan’s journey was publicized, it would give them a boost in terms of what their power was capable of. It was a boost they very much needed after the Renton fiasco. To take his brilliant but grossly misused knowledge and research and use it to help the ghost of a young man who had his body stolen and then destroyed was a story they’d spin for a long time. I just wanted to see what they would do when other people started calling for new bodies for the ghosts of their loved ones.
As for the still-open circle, PTF officers armed with runes were to remain stationed around it to capture any ghost that crossed over. Once a certain amount was accumulated, they
would be sent back. There were more crossover ghosts out than there were in Ethan’s runes, so Tielle still planned to have me repeat that fun rune-connecting thing again.
“We had informed Ethan’s family of the experiment days ago and told them they could come see him,” Micah said. “We couldn’t back out on that.”
“I know, I know,” I said. “They deserve to see him and vice-versa. I am just worried about the implications to myself. If that circle isn’t closed and Garrus crosses over, I am going to have a very horrific and painful death.”
Just the thought of it filled me with anxiety and I started pacing and running my fingers through my hair while resisting the urge to start pulling it out. “That’s a tough reality to live with. I’d really hoped I’d no longer have to deal with my life being in danger every moment of the day.”
“The experiment can be undone,” Tielle said softly. I stopped pacing and turned to her. “We can remove the ghosts and send them back. Ethan’s new body will be destroyed, but…”
“But what?” I prodded.
“We don’t know what will happen to his ghost,” Micah said. “It’s very possible that his ghost will not survive the dismantling of his body and it will just…”
“Go the way that Andrew’s ghost did when his new body was destroyed,” I finished.
The memory of Andrew’s ghost falling to dust was still haunting. It chilled me to think of that happening to Ethan’s ghost. Sorrow, guilt, and frustration weighed on me. No matter what, Ethan’s life and my life seemed like they were going to remain tangled in deadly ways.
Micah came and stood in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Tielle and I talked about it for a long time,” he said. “We both care about Ethan, but we care about you too, and this is a very real issue. If that ghost crosses back, capturing him in a rune won’t do anything to save you.” His grip on my shoulders tightened and I could see the pain and fear in his eyes. “I almost lost you once, very recently. I am not prepared to go through that again, especially when there’s no loophole that can save you this time around.”
“So what are you saying?” I asked, looking from him to Tielle.
“That if you wanted us to…we would remove the ghosts from those runes and send them back to help save you. It’s not a decision we thought we should make on our own. You have the final word on it.”
My eyes widened. “But you just said that if you did that Ethan’s ghost might…”
“We know,” Tielle said, coming to stand next to Micah. “And it isn’t something we want to do. It certainly would not be easy to live with after all we went through to give him a new life again…”
“But if it meant saving your life, making sure that you didn’t die, we would do it,” Micah finished. Looking into his eyes, I knew he was a hundred percent serious. Our relationship might be fractured and almost beyond saving, but the love we had for each other was still there and I knew that like before with Renton, Micah would do anything to save me no matter the cost to anyone else. It was something that I loved about him, but the strength of his devotion also terrified me.
Micah and Tielle were silent, waiting for me to say something. Micah dropped his hands and I wrapped my arms around myself as I thought it over. It was a horrible decision to have to weigh.
The circle would still be open even if the ghosts from Ethan’s runes were sent back because of Kyo, but if I really could help him find his body and any other stragglers were found, then I’d have nothing to worry about. Or even if I couldn’t help Kyo, I could ultimately just send him back too, even if I would hate to do it. But it would close the circle.
At this point it didn’t even matter what happened with Kyo because he was just one ghost. The real issue was the ghosts stored in Ethan’s runes. I was sure they were keeping the circle open far more than Kyo was.
My anxiety was mounting again. I hated this. Hated Micah and Tielle for offering to pretty much destroy Ethan—body and soul—to save me. Hated that my brief time in the In Between had resulted in a ghost keeping a piece of me. Hated the state of every aspect of my life right now. It was too overwhelming and I wanted to run away from all of it.
But I didn’t run. Nor did I immediately say anything to Micah and Tielle. I walked over to the door and looked out at Ethan and his family. His mother could not stop hugging him. She was a middle-aged woman with graying, white-blonde hair swept up into a messy bun, and kind blue eyes brimming with tears. Ethan had gotten his hair and eyes from her. Looking at her sent a pang through me and made my throat grow tight. She looked so…motherly. Just exactly what one would picture a loving mother to look like.
I had no memories like that with my own mother. Grams had been amazing, but a true maternal bond…that was something I’d never have. Ethan’s mother looked at her son with so much love that it almost hurt looking at their reunion. His father and sister were also excited and overjoyed, and Ethan was practically glowing, only it wasn’t a ghost’s glow. It wasn’t a glow you could see, but staring at him, I could see how happy he was to be interacting with his family in a physical body again.
Micah had been right, Ethan had been more unhappy than I’d had time to pay attention to. Being a ghost had brought him nothing but problems, sadness, and murderous misery. His life had been stolen. That was the worst part; that he hadn’t even died, it hadn’t even been his time. He’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and fallen victim to Michael and Larry’s violent agenda. It would never be easy for me to accept the fact that his body was being maintained by trapped ghosts, but I also knew without a doubt that no matter the cost to myself, I could not take away this second chance from him or his family. It might guarantee that I survived, but I would never be able to live with myself. Especially if his ghost ended up like Andrew’s. If that happened, I would hate myself until I went to my grave.
So that meant that I’d have to fix things another way. Figure out some way to get the rest of my soul back without repercussions. I’d faced many an impossible task these past few months and found a way through them, so this would just be another one that I’d have to overcome.
I looked over my shoulder at Micah and Tielle.
“My answer is no,” I said.
Tielle’s expression remained the same, but Micah looked a bit surprised.
“Long story short, I can’t take this new life away from Ethan and his family just to save myself. I will figure out some other way to make sure I don’t drop dead.”
“Selene…are you sure?” The uncertainty was there in Micah’s voice. I locked eyes with him and let him see that yes, I was scared, but I was also sure. He gave me a small nod.
“I will figure it out,” I said. “Just promise me you will not ever tell him that my life could once again be in jeopardy because of him. Promise.”
“I won’t say a word,” Tielle said.
“Neither will I,” Micah said. “Promise.”
“Good.” I left the room, walking over to Ethan and his family. When he saw me, his smile grew wider. I smiled back, a genuine smile because it warmed me to see him so happy. When I reached him, I threw my arms around him and gave him a tight hug. He hugged me back just as fiercely. His family, who I’d already greeted and been smothered by their hugs, were chattering around us excitedly.
“It’s really good to see you again,” I said.
“So I guess you missed me?”
“Maybe a little. There was no one around to feed me, you see.”
“Oh, is that the only reason?” Ethan said, making a face at me.
I tapped my lip and pretended to think. “Yeah, I mean, I can’t think of anything else.”
“Meanie!” We both laughed.
“Luna misses you. And the house hasn’t been the same without you burning something in the kitchen or yelling at one of your video games.”
“I know this won’t be easy to accept. It’s hard even for me and I wish there was another way, but I can’t remember the last time I’v
e felt this happy.”
“I can see it on your face,” I said, cupping his cheek. “Your pasty-skinned face.”
“Hey!”
I grinned at him. “It’s OK, I can get you a spray tan.”
He laughed.
Ethan was happy, there was no question about it. And seeing his happiness as well as his family’s made me even surer that I could not take this away from them.
“So, here’s what I think,” I said, clapping him on the shoulder. “This is all amazing and exciting for your family, so you should spend as much time with them as you want.”
“They’ve already got my bags packed!” Ethan said, smiling.
“I’ll bet,” I replied. “But I really did miss you, so when you’re ready, come home.”
EPILOGUE
I was kneeling on my bedroom floor with some of the contents of the disastrous bottom of my closet spilled out in front of me.
Ethan had been home for about a week after spending a month with his family. I could hear him in his room shouting at his video game. He was currently in between a raid and monitoring his pots on the stove to make sure he didn’t burn dinner. Christmas was in a few days and he claimed he wanted to do a practice run before he attempted the real deal. That was fine by me. The ham in the oven made the entire house smell delicious, and he was even making a fruit cake from scratch. It was so, so good to have him home.
Kyo was with him, watching or attempting to play. He was fascinated by Ethan’s games, but because he had no skill with playing them whatsoever, Ethan had little desire to allow him to play when he was in serious gaming mode. Which involved playing online with a bunch of other nerds and shouting obscenities at each other over a headset. Supposedly it all made for a good time. Kyo didn’t seem to mind just being a spectator though.
When Ethan had come home, I told him who Kyo was, where he was from, and why he was still around. Ethan knew that there were continuing efforts to send the crossover ghosts back, but he’d been kept in the dark about the specific reasons why, and had understood why I decided to help Kyo. I trusted him with Kyo’s story, and trusted him not to mention him to Micah. Whenever Micah came over, Kyo went into a rune. I wasn’t happy keeping secrets from Micah, but I knew if he found out about Kyo he would insist that he get sent back to the In Between.
