by Jerramy Fine
2 Bond Street is the London equivalent of Rodeo Drive.
3 Breaking news: L.K. Bennett stores are new open in Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, and New York.
4 If you don’t know who Lady Bracknell is, you need to read The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. Now.
5 I suggest learning the words and tune to “Jerusalem” and “I Vow to Thee My Country”—as you’ll be hearing them for the rest of your life.
6 Actually, having adult bridesmaids at all is a purely American phenomenon. Traditionally, British brides (including Princess Diana) have tiny flower girls only. But I’m fairly sure Pippa Middleton broke that trend once and for all.
FOUR
ROYAL ENCOUNTERS
Lots of people I know don’t like talking about the millennium mainly because they feel their New Year’s Eve party that night was kind of a letdown.
Not me.
Through serendipity and a huge, rather magical stroke of luck, I spent New Year’s Eve 1999 in a royal palace. A real one, with a real living, breathing royal family. Turns out that one of my friends from college was actually the nephew of a maharaja, and as a result I had been invited to spend the millennium with his family at their palace in India. Needless to say, it was one of the single most amazing experiences of my life.
I stayed in the palace for two weeks, and one night at dinner I was seated next to the Maharaja. I’d been to a cocktail party beforehand, and after four straight hours of gin and tonics, I remember wondering how on earth I was going to make sparkling conversation with a royal patriarch through an eight-course formal dinner—all while making sure I was sipping my soup in the right direction! Thank god that I had been studying etiquette1 for years (and thank god for those gin and tonics!).
Still, the Maharaja had held his title since he was four years old and certainly he’d had wackier dinner companions than me in his time, so I tried not to worry. (As expected, His Highness was extremely friendly, and his superb social skills made it incredibly easy for me.)
But my point is that you never know where life will take you. You might think sitting next to royalty at dinner will never happen to you in a million years.
But it can. And it might. So make sure you’re ready…
Meeting the Queen
Don’t discount this. You never know when Her Majesty might appear before you! The Royal Family is much more relaxed these days than they were even ten years ago, so there’s no reason to panic. Still, whether your royal encounter is impromptu or planned, it’s best to be prepared.
When Her Majesty enters the room, all stand.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but make sure you are not chewing gum.
One never introduces oneself to the Queen; one must always wait to be formally presented.
Curtsey. Americans are not subjects of the Queen and therefore technically not required to curtsey like Canadians, Australians, and other members of the Commonwealth, but it remains a traditional and valued sign of respect.
Verbally address the Queen as “Your Majesty” in the first instance, then “ma’am”—to rhyme with spam.
In conversation, substitute “Your Majesty” for the word “you.”
Do not offer your hand or touch the monarch in any way. However, if the Queen offers her hand, take it briefly and lightly—no bone crunching handshakes.
If the Queen chooses to engage in polite conversation with you, allow her to lead the conversation. As much as you’re dying to ask about that naughty, redheaded grandson of hers—questions of any kind are not permitted.
Curtsey again as she leaves you.
In the years that followed, I found myself face-to-face with the Princess Royal, Earl Spencer, and the Duchess of York, among others. (Like I said, don’t think it won’t happen to you, because it will!). Keeping the correct forms of address in mind, the above protocol applies to meeting all high-ranking members of the Royal Family, but strictness varies according to the formality of setting (i.e. meeting Prince Harry at a charity reception is very different from meeting him at a nightclub). If there is any doubt over the formality preferred by a member of the Royal Family, contact the appropriate private secretary.
Curtsey while you’re thinking. It saves time.
—THE QUEEN OF HEARTS, ALICE IN WONDERLAND
HOW TO CURTSEY
A court curtsey is always made with your weight on your right foot and the toe of your left foot a few inches behind your right heel.
As you bend your right knee, your body gently sinks.
Your arms should be gracefully bent, and your hands should be occupied in lightly holding your skirt or gown.
Lower your eyes briefly but resume eye contact when you rise.
A curtsey should be done gracefully and with control. If executed correctly, a curtsey feels a bit like like a ballet move.
Practice curtseying from a standing position and (because sometimes your royal moment will need to happen quickly) also practice walking into it, leading with your right foot.
Royal Invitations
A royal invitation is a command—a command that you have the honor to obey. (The Queen’s commands can only be refused in the case of illness.)
In the past, if one were to attend the Court of St. James’s,2 men would wear knee breeches while women were obliged to wear tiaras and dresses with trains. Luckily, the rules governing formal court dress have relaxed a bit, and Buckingham Palace will tell you that there is no official dress code. But there are two regal events that still require some sartorial knowledge:
The Queen’s Garden Party
Held every summer on the grounds of Buckingham Palace, these elite social events are infamous. Just imagine a glorious afternoon filled with military bands, massive tea tents, and hundreds of specially chosen guests milling around the enormous palace lawn hoping to be spoken to by Her Majesty. I’ve waited years for someone I know to invite me along as a guest!
When I found out that my best gay friend had been invited, I nearly kissed him! At long last, I was going to be introduced to the Queen! Finally! Then my friend confessed that he was taking his mum to the party instead of me. I nearly killed him.
Nevertheless, I plan to attend a Queen’s Garden Party in my lifetime—and so should you. Here is the dress code for when that day arrives: Men invited to Buckingham Palace should wear their military uniform or morning coat. Women should wear a smart day dress with a hat or fascinator. Unlike Henley, there is not an official hemline restriction, though you should always plan to err on the side of good taste and avoid anything above the knee.
State Banquets
Most state banquets are “white tie,” which is even more formal than black tie. Men wear evening tailcoats, white bow ties, white waistcoats, and starched wing collar shirts. Women wear floor-length evening gowns and gloves (it is best not to wear black, which is really only appropriate when the Court is in mourning). If you own a tiara, this is the time to wear it. When dining with the Queen, please note that she sits first, eats first, and when she finishes eating, you should stop too.
The Loyal Toast
The Loyal Toast is a traditional toast given before a formal, state, or military dinner. The toast is usually initiated and recited by the principal host before being repeated by the assembled guests in unison—all of whom are standing. It consists simply of the words “The Queen!” You raise your glass for the toast, take a sip, and then sit down.
Occasionally, there is a second loyal toast immediately following the first: “To the Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, the Prince of Wales, and the other members of the Royal Family.”
Titles
A member of royalty is a king, queen, prince, or princess. All other aristocrats are members of what is known as the British Peerage. The Peerage has five hereditary degrees, each one outranking the next: duke, marquess,3 earl, viscount,4 and baron. Baronets and knights are not peers. A royal or a peer can also hold more than one separate peerage. (For example, His Royal Hig
hness Prince William is also the Duke of Cambridge, the Earl of Strathearn, the Baron Carrickfergus, and a Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.)
If someone is “The Honourable,” it means he or she is the younger son of an earl, or the child or daughter-in-law of a viscount or baron. Do not use the title in speech, only in writing, when it is abbreviated to “The Hon.”
Forms of Address
Titles and the correct address for conversational use:
KING/ QUEEN Your Majesty, then sir or ma’am
PRINCE / PRINCESSES OR ANYONE THAT HAS HRH BEFORE HIS OR HER NAME Your Royal Highness, then sir or ma’am
DUKE /DUCHESS Your Grace, then Duke/Duchess
MARQUESS / MARCHIONESS5 Your Grace, then Lord/Lady So-and-so
EARL/ COUNTESS My Lord/Madam, then Lord/Lady So-and-so
VISCOUNT/ VISCOUNTESS My Lord/Madam, then Lord/Lady So-and-so
BARON/ BARONESS My Lord/Madam, then Lord/Lady So-and-so
BARONET/ BARONETESS Sir or Dame
KNIGHT/ DAME Sir or Dame
NOTE: If you are invited to a stately home, never use the words “House,” “Hall,” etc, when referring to it. “I’m going to Downton” implies that you are the guest of Lord Grantham. “I’m going to Downton Abbey” indicates that you will be paying an entrance fee.
The British Line of Succession
The British throne cannot be inherited by anyone who is not blood-related to the sovereign—this includes Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge—who are part of the Royal Family through marriage only and therefore not listed in the line of succession.
In 2011, the British government, along with the sixteen Commonwealth countries, voted to overturn a thousand years of royal history by finally allowing the eldest child (male or female) to inherit the throne. Up until then the British monarchy had yet to change their rather sexist rule of primogeniture6—where succession gave precedence to male children. (This is why Prince Andrew’s and Prince Edward’s children outrank Princess Anne’s.)
Changes to the law apply only to descendents of the Prince of Wales and have not been applied retroactively—so all remains the same until Kate and William produce some royal (and no doubt ridiculously good-looking) offspring. Nevertheless, if the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have a daughter (followed by a son)—by law, their daughter will one day be queen. Which means after all this time, girls finally have equal rights to the throne!
THE SOVEREIGN: HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Charles, Prince of Wales
Prince William, Duke of Cambridge
Prince Henry of Wales
Prince Andrew, Duke of York
Princess Beatrice of York
Princess Eugenie of York
Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex
Viscount James Severn
The Lady Louise Mountbatten-Windsor
Anne, The Princess Royal
Mr. Peter Phillips
Miss Savannah Phillips
Miss Isla Phillips
Zara Phillips (Mrs. Michael Tindall)
Viscount David Linley
The Hon. Charles Armstrong-Jones
The Hon. Margarita Armstrong-Jones
The Lady Sarah Chatto
Master Samuel Chatto
Master Arthur Chatto
The Duke of Gloucester
Earl of Ulster
Lord Culloden
The Lady Cosima Windsor
The Lady Davina Lewis
Miss Senna Lewis
The Lady Rose Gilman
Miss Lyla Gilman
The Duke of Kent
The Lady Amelia Windsor
The Lady Helen Taylor
Master Columbus Taylor
Master Cassius Taylor
Miss Eloise Taylor
Miss Estella Taylor
The Hon. Albert Windsor
The Hon. Leopold Windsor
The Lord Frederick Windsor
The Lady Gabriella Windsor
Princess Alexandra, the Hon Lady Ogilvy
Royal FAQs
Why isn’t Philip the King if he’s married to the Queen? Why isn’t Kate a princess if she’s married to a prince? Is he the Prince of Cambridge or the Duke of Wales? How can she be Princess Michael of Kent? That’s a man’s name! And so on. No matter how hard we try, Americans can’t help but struggle to understand the intricacies of the British aristocracy. And who can blame us? When you’re born in a land where no one is a sir or lord, much less a prince or princess, the very idea of titles that elevate one person over another can be difficult to grasp. That said, I’ve done my best to shine some light on the most popular royal questions Americans tend to ask me…
Q: Now that Kate is married to Prince William, why isn’t she called Princess Catherine?
A: Princess titles are tricky. If they are not inherited (as is the case with Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie), the woman’s first name cannot be part of the actual title. Diana was not Princess Diana—that’s just what we liked to call her. She was The Princess of Wales. Camilla is not Duchess Camilla—she is The Duchess of Cornwall. Royal brides do not inherit titles; they merely assume the full title of their royal husband. (However, men do not assume the titles of women—which is why the Queen’s husband, Prince Philip, is not king). When Catherine Middleton married Prince William, she technically became Princess William of Wales (yes, a man’s name!) and would have retained this title if William had not received a dukedom as a wedding gift from the Queen. Since William became the Duke of Cambridge, protocol required that Catherine become the Duchess of Cambridge. (Prince William is also Earl of Strathearn and Baron Carrickfergus, meaning Kate is also Countess of Strathearn and Baroness Carrickfergus.) But Kate is not Princess Catherine and she is not Duchess Catherine; rather she is officially known as HRH The Duchess of Cambridge.
Q: If Diana had lived, would she have become queen? What about Camilla and Catherine — will they one day become queen?
A: Technically, yes. If Diana had remained married to Prince Charles when he became king, she would have become his queen consort and known as Queen Diana. However, Charles and Diana divorced in 1996, making this outcome impossible.
Camilla, currently The Duchess of Cornwall, will technically be entitled to become queen consort and Queen Camilla, but out of respect for Diana’s memory it is suspected that she will choose to remain a duchess. When Prince William becomes king, The Duchess of Cambridge will become queen consort and probably be known as Queen Catherine.
Q: Can the Queen choose to skip Prince Charles and pass the throne directly to Prince William?
A: No. The Queen does not have a historic or constitutional right to do such a thing. As it stands, her eldest son, Prince Charles, is next in line to the throne and will become King of England when the Queen dies. Any alteration to the line of succession would require a constitutional change to be voted through the UK parliament and throughout the Commonwealth.
Q: What is William and Harry’s last name? Is it Wales or Windsor?
A: Neither. Members of the Royal Family who are titled His (or Her) Royal Highness do not use a last name. Their official titles are HRH Prince William of Wales and HRH Prince Henry (Harry) of Wales, but titles are not last names—and “Windsor” is simply the royal house to which the brothers belong. However, throughout their time with the Armed Forces, both princes wanted to simplify things and decided to use the last name “Wales” during all training and active duty.
Q: Why are some royals given titles like Princess of Wales or Duchess of Cambridge when they are neither from Wales nor from Cambridge?
A: The Queen bestowed all four of her children with special titles—Charles is Prince of Wales, Andrew is Duke of York, Edward is Earl of Wessex, Anne is Princess Royal. Women who marry royal men automatically take on the title: Diana became Princess of Wales, Fergie became Duchess of York, Sophie became Countess of Wessex—but Captain Mark Phillips, who married Princess Anne, got nothing b
ecause titles don’t pass through females.
In the same way, when William became the Duke of Cambridge, Kate became the Duchess of Cambridge. When Camilla married Charles, Prince of Wales, the palace worried there would be public outcry if Camilla became the new Princess of Wales, supplanting Diana’s legacy. So even though Camilla is technically permitted to take on this title, she insists that we call her the Duchess of Cornwall, because Charles is also the Duke of Cornwall.
All of these places—Wales, York, Wessex, Cambridge, Cornwall—are found in Great Britain, and since the monarchy reigns over all of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, it doesn’t really matter if they have specific residences in these areas.
Q: What is the difference between the Queen and the Queen Mother?
A: The British throne cannot be inherited by anyone who is not blood-related to the sovereign, hence the title Queen Mother (or “Queen Mum”) is reserved for the widowed (or dowager) queen consort whose son or daughter is the reigning monarch. For example, when Princess Elizabeth’s father (George VI) died, she inherited the throne and became Queen Elizabeth II—while her widowed mother (portrayed by Helena Bonham Carter in The King’s Speech), who married into the Royal Family, became “the Queen Mum.” If Diana had remained married to Charles and he’d left her widowed, she would also have been the Queen Mum. Currently, if Prince Charles becomes king and dies before Camilla, Prince William will become king, but it is not yet clear if Camilla will become Queen Mother since Prince William is not actually her son. If Prince Willliam becomes king and dies before his wife, Kate will become the Queen Mother and their eldest child will become the reigning monarch.
Q: How come Princess Anne’s children don’t have titles?
A: Although rules to the royal succession recently changed, every other title requires a separate Act of Parliament to change in a similar way. And as things currently stand, royal titles only pass through the male line. Because of this, Princess Anne’s son, Peter, and daughter, Zara, do not have titles. Princess Anne declined to have further titles bestowed on her children by the Queen, hoping this would help them to lead normal lives. Moreover, Peter did not inherit a courtesy title from his father, because Captain Phillips also declined a title from the Queen upon his marriage to Princess Anne. Hence, Princess Anne’s children remain Mr. Phillips and Mrs. Michael Tindall. (Though I’m not entirely convinced this has allowed them to lead “normal” lives—after all, their grandmother is still the Queen of England!)
