“Not all men are like that,” said Heather.
“Most of them are,” I said. “And someone who is as hot as Lucas is bound to have girls all over him no matter where he goes. I’m not interested in competing with that.”
“Just keep an open mind,” Heather said. “How does he act toward you? Any idea if he’s interested?”
I thought about his flirting, the way he looked at me. It was possible that my fantasies had me reading too much into it. “I don’t know.”
“You should find out,” Heather said. “Then decide what to do.”
I nodded. I didn’t know if I was going to follow her advice, but I would keep it in mind for the next time I saw Lucas. I wanted to pay more attention to him, to find out if his attraction was real or if he was just the kind of person who flirted naturally with every woman he saw.
We spent the rest of the dinner chatting about Heather’s life, her dating blunders that put me off approaching Lucas even more than I already had been. By the time we were finished I was a little tipsy, and on my way to my apartment, I hesitated outside of Lucas’s door. I found myself knocking on it, my heart racing. The moment I did so, I regretted it, panicking as I considered running into my apartment. It was too late by the time I thought about it—Lucas answered the door in nothing but a pair of pajama pants, his chest bare. I stared at him, unable to say a word.
“Hi, Ellie,” he said, catching my eye and holding it. “Are you okay?”
“Um, yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I just—I just got the wrong apartment.”
“You got the wrong apartment.”
“Yes,” I told him, backing away from him toward my door. I was flushed with both embarrassment and the alcohol, plus the desire that had overwhelmed me the moment he’d opened the door. “I’m sorry.”
He chuckled. “Do you need help getting to bed?”
“Oh,” I said. “No. I think I’m fine.”
His eyes sparkled when he looked at me. “Okay, Ellie. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” I said, going into my apartment. I cursed myself for what I’d done, but at the same time, there was a certain satisfaction in getting to see him before I went to bed. He was mouthwatering, and I had no idea how I was going to stay away from him if he kept looking at me in a way that made it seem like he was thinking the same thing I was.
5
Ellie
The next day, there was a knock on the door in the morning. I was already up and working, for some reason particularly inspired. I got up to answer the door, my face breaking into a smile when I saw Lucas, though I was still embarrassed about the night before. I tried not to think about it.
Lucas had an almost bashful look on his face. He was holding onto Luna, who was looking at me with a big grin on her face. He put her down and she ran into my apartment.
“Luna, no—”
“It’s fine. When are you going to be back?”
He sighed. “Probably around dinner,” he said. “I’m working as an extra in a movie and it’ll take about a week.”
“That’s fine,” I told him. “I can write with her here.”
“Thank you so much,” he said, letting out a breath. “Really, Ellie.”
“No problem,” I said to him, watching as he went back to his apartment. “Good luck.”
He thanked me then, giving me a look that was heavy with meaning, though I wasn’t sure what it was. It made a shiver run down my spine as I went back inside, finding Luna in my bedroom where she was trying to build a fort.
I watched Luna for the rest of the week. Each morning, Lucas dropped her off with a smile and an embarrassed apology. I tried to assure him that I didn’t mind. I liked having Luna, who seemed like she was always smiling. She was bright and cheerful, and when I wasn’t writing I was happy to spend time playing with her while we waited for her dad to return.
One night, Luna fell asleep before Lucas got out of work. I had about an hour, and an idea passed through my head I couldn’t seem to get rid of. It was risky—there was always a chance that Lucas would say no, but for some reason I wanted to do it. I set about getting ready, setting the small table up on the patio where there was a beautiful view of the small pond in our apartment complex. I cooked something quick and simple. I felt nervous, butterflies in my stomach, and almost jumped when Lucas knocked on the front door. I answered it with my apron on, and he glanced over my body with a smile on his face, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip.
“Hi,” he said. “Where’s Luna?”
“She’s in my room asleep,” I told him, gesturing for him to come into the house. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”
He looked over at me. “Yes,” he said. “I do.”
“I set up the table outside. I hope you don’t mind.”
He looked out on the patio at what I’d done. The flickering of the candles I’d set around the balcony lit it up in a dim, soft light.
“Perfect,” he said. “It’s beautiful.”
I bit my lip, smiling at the compliment. He helped me carry the food out and we sat on the patio. It was beautiful outside—warm with a gentle cool breeze that felt good paired with the warmth the wine was filling me with.
“Tell me all about you, Ellie,” he said.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything,” he told me, taking a sip of his wine. “Start at the beginning.”
I laughed. “The very beginning?”
“Where were you born?”
“Georgia,” I told him. “Small town.”
“Country girl,” he said, his eyes playful on mine. “I bet you grew up climbing trees and riding horses.”
“And milking cows,” I said, nodding.
“You don’t have an accent.”
“It comes out sometimes. When I’m angry.”
“I can’t say I want to see you angry,” he said. “But I’d like to hear that accent. I want to meet this country girl. I have a feeling she’s a little wild.”
“What gives you that idea?” I asked him, knowing we were beyond the line of polite conversation now. His voice was filled with suggestion, his eyes half-lidded as he drank me in.
“Something in your eyes,” he said in a soft voice. “Something that tells me you used to ride hard and fast.”
I squirmed in my chair, finding it a little hard to breathe.
“I think I could pick it up again,” I said, my words coming out freely due to how I was slightly tipsy in addition to my fierce arousal.
“You might need some practice,” he said.
“It might take me a few hours to get it down.”
I saw him take a deep breath. His eyes were burning into mine. “I’m not sure a few hours would be long enough. It’s been a long time, right? Might take you days.”
“You might be right,” I said.
He stared at me for a long moment. “Why couldn’t I have found you years ago, Ellie?”
I was surprised at his question, so surprised I could only stare. I saw in his eyes that he was surprised, too, that the words had come out automatically without him even thinking about them.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay,” I told him. I paused for a moment. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Where’s Luna’s mother? Are you—are you with her?”
“We’re married,” he said, and I felt my heart sink.
“But separated,” he added quickly. “She wants nothing to do with Luna. I can’t have her around.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, sensing his anger. He was gritting his teeth, looking out over the pond. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
He looked back at me, took my hand and flipped it over so he could stroke my palm with his fingertips. “Don’t be sorry.”
“Okay,” I told him. If I was honest with myself, I really didn’t care that he was in the middle of a divorce. It felt like magic between us, something I’d never felt before.
I was willing to overlook the baggage just to be close to him.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked him.
He nodded so we got up from dinner and went into the living room. I sat down on the couch and he sat right next to me, our bodies touching. I looked at him and he was staring at my lips, so close to kissing me that I could feel his breath against me. I pulled my face away, suddenly afraid of going that far with him. I couldn’t get that intimate with a man. Still, I found myself cuddling up against him once we were watching the movie. I fell asleep on his lap halfway through, more comfortable than I’d been in a long time.
6
Lucas
Ellie was asleep in my lap, her face peaceful and gorgeous. She looked like an angel, ethereal, her long eyelashes fanned over her cheeks. She had a small smile on her face, one that told me that her dreams were filled with something pleasant. Just that look on her face and the feeling of her body touching mine was enough to make something flutter in my stomach. I couldn’t believe what I’d said to her—how I’d wondered aloud at why I hadn’t met her earlier. Ellie would be perfect for me if I wasn’t carrying so much baggage around.
I pushed the hair out of her face to look at her more closely, stroking her soft cheek with my finger. Her lips were parted, pretty and pink, and I found myself leaning down to try to kiss her. I couldn’t reach with her head in my lap, and I was about to pull back when she stirred, opening her eyes. They met mine right away and the look on her face was so pure, so full of desire I felt myself falling into her gaze. She lifted her face while I was distracted by looking at her, taking my lips in a kiss that was soft and tentative.
“Ellie,” I said softly as she sat up, sitting beside me. I brought my face to hers and kissed her again, then again, sucking on her bottom lip. I brought my hands to her cheeks, holding her close as her tongue slipped between my lips to explore my mouth. I sighed against her lips and tasted her as she drew even closer to me. Our kiss deepened, growing hotter while our mouths met over and over, unable to stay away from each other.
She shifted, straddling my lap on the couch as our mouths moved together. I put my hands on her waist, moving them lower, touching her hips and her ass. Her skirt was bunched up underneath her so most of her thighs were uncovered. I put my hands on them, touching her perfectly soft skin.
“I want you so bad,” she breathed, speaking against my lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this bad.”
“God,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse. Her words only fueled me. I felt the exact same way, although I couldn’t bring myself to voice it as I kissed her in a way that was filthy and probably spoke for me. Her hips were grinding against my cock through the fabric of our clothes, and I almost felt like I could explode from that alone. Something about seeing her innocent little face so full of need made me crazy.
I unbuttoned her dress, starting at the neck, brushing my knuckles against her skin as I went. It unbuttoned to the waist, and when I was finished I parted the fabric so I could see her small, round breasts, perfect with their hard pink nipples. I wanted to suck on them, to fondle them in my hands. My mouth moved down to her neck, tasting her skin in hot, open-mouth kisses that made her whimper. She arched backward to give me access to her chest, presenting herself to me. I kissed her breasts the same way as her neck, teasing her until I finally came to her nipples. I took one into my mouth and sucked on it gently. My hands supported her back, held her as I flicked my tongue over the hard bud. She writhed against me.
“So fucking responsive,” I said. “You like this, angel?”
“Yes,” she said. I nipped at her breast, leaving a small red mark with my teeth before returning to toy with her nipple in my mouth. I shifted our bodies then so she was lying on the couch beneath me. She was moving too much to support her anymore, her breasts pressing against my chest. Though she was small, she wasn’t delicate. I moved down her body to take her other nipple into my mouth to tease it the same as I’d done with the other. I touched her thighs, brushing them up and down. A moan escaped her lips, a soft plea for me to touch her.
“You have to be quiet, Ellie,” I said to her. “Can you do that for me?”
She bit her lip, nodding. I continued to suck on her breast, my fingers exploring her thighs, getting closer to her pussy. When I finally touched it, her hips twitched underneath me. I stroked her through her panties, brushing my fingers over her lower lips. Her panties were soaking wet and clinging to her pussy which was swollen and needy, ready to be touched. My finger barely touched her clit and she moaned again, a helpless look on her pretty face. I couldn’t help but continue stroking her little pussy, loving her expression, the way she was giving herself to me. I kissed her, tasting her mouth.
“Daddy?” came Luna’s voice from the doorway.
I jumped away from Ellie, who quickly pulled her dress over her breasts and hips.
“Hi, baby,” I said, standing up. I still felt breathless but I pretended everything was normal for Luna’s sake. “What are you doing up?”
“I heard a noise,” Luna said, and I exchanged a glance with Ellie, who looked embarrassed and apologetic.
“Ellie was just having a bad dream is all,” I told Luna. “You know how sometimes you have bad dreams and you make noises in your sleep?”
“Yeah,” said Luna, rubbing her eyes with her fists. “Can we go home, Daddy? I want Mr. Grams.”
“Yes, baby,” I said. Mr. Grams was her teddy bear and she never slept without him. I looked over at Ellie, meeting her eye. There was a wild look in her gaze that made me hard all over again, and I had to look away from her as Luna and I left for the night. I told Ellie goodnight and she responded in a small voice, closing the door behind us as we crossed the hall to our apartment. Luna went straight to bed when we got inside, and part of me considered going back to Ellie’s. I knew I couldn’t leave my daughter in the apartment by herself, though, not even if I was just across the hall.
Thoughts of Ellie overwhelmed me as I lay in bed. I wanted her so bad it ached, but at the same time, I was terrified of the way she made me feel. I felt out of control with her. I’d felt a similar way with Maria, though Ellie seemed different. The feeling was different. Just as consuming but with more softness to it than my desire for Maria had had. Ellie was kind and smart and beautiful, but the longer I thought about her, the more a part of me told me to stay away. I was conflicted as I fell asleep, wondering exactly what I should do about the girl across the hallway who had captivated me more than I could ever imagine.
7
Ellie
I sighed when I checked my reports to see that they were still flat. I hadn’t made a single sale in two weeks, when before the terms of service changed I’d been selling at least fifty a week. All of my advertising was gone, my books lost in a sea of other romance novels that would never be found by most readers. I had enough money to get by without the sales for a little while, but the money was far from indefinite—I would have to think of some way to sell more copies and fast if I wanted to continue working for myself.
On top of the stress of my writing was Lucas, whom I hadn’t seen or heard from since we’d come close to fucking on my couch the night that Luna caught us. That moment with him had been so good, so intimate, and his body pressed to mine made me feel a desire that was new and overwhelming to me. The fact that I hadn’t heard from him stung; I couldn’t get him out of my head no matter how hard I tried. It bothered me to know that he obviously didn’t feel the same—if he did, he would have come by, even if it was just to say hi or bring Luna over.
I tried to stop thinking about Lucas and focus on my writing instead. The doorbell rang later in the afternoon, and I found myself desperately hoping that it was Lucas. I wanted to see him so badly that it was driving me crazy, though I couldn’t bring myself to go over to his apartment. It would be humiliating to find out he wasn’t really interested in me, that he’d been turned off by our encounter because I’d seemed to give myself to h
im so fast. I hadn’t meant to, but when I’d woken up and seen his face hovering over mine, I couldn’t help it.
I answered the door to see a woman who was somehow even more beautiful than Alice. She had dark, thick hair and big, sensual brown eyes, along with full lips curved downward in a frown. Her brow was furrowed as she looked at me, her arms crossing over her chest.
“Who are you?” she asked. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place her at all.
“Excuse me?” I asked. “Who are you?”
“Where is my husband?” the woman asked. “I need to see him.”
“Lucas?”
“Yes, Lucas,” she snapped. “Are you the girl he’s fucking? Is that why he left me?”
“I haven’t touched him,” I said, though I knew my face had gone scarlet. The woman looked past me into my apartment, as if she was searching for Lucas. She all but pushed her way inside, but I stood in the door firmly, not letting her in.
“Lucas doesn’t live here,” I said, but didn’t tell her he was right across the hall. I thought it was better if I didn’t tell her, if she didn’t find him. She only seemed to stress him out, and from the sound of it, she was a horrible person, a terrible mother to Luna. I glared at her, matching the steely look in her eyes with my own.
“I couldn’t imagine him living in a dump like this anyway,” she said, her nose in the air. “I’d be surprised if he’d even step foot in here.”
I kept quiet, not responding to the jibe. She seemed like the kind of person who threw insults at everyone she met, and I refused to take it personally or respond to her with any sort of reaction.
“Is there anything else I can help you with?”
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