He tried.
And somehow he could.
He felt something connect in the darkness, like swinging his fist into a dark room and knowing that he’d blindly hit the mark.
In the street, the people who were passing him by never noticed how stiffly he sat. They didn’t realize that his heart had stopped beating inside his chest, because it now beat inside a woman inside an icebox sixteen city blocks away.
“I can feel you,” he said.
“And I feel you. You’re inside me. That’s kind of funny. My husband sometimes gets inside me, but he never can stay. It’s always temporary. He leaks out.”
“It’s like a cave. But it’s warm and it’s cold at the same time.”
“It’s love. It’s shelter. It’s death. Don’t be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid. Not really. I just want to know how this is happening. How are we together?”
“Too many questions, never enough answers. Questions are the straight pins that wake us from our dreams. Stop trying to figure it out and hold me.”
He held her from inside her heart, as hard as he could, like a drowning man clinging to a melting life preserver.
He held her and was calmed.
“Hey. I’m holding you, but I can feel you holding me. I feel you all around me like a warm wool blanket. I feel you like a drumbeat beating sixteen city blocks away.”
“That’s my heart.”
“It’s slowing down.”
“It’s slowing down for you.”
“Like a bus. It’s slowing down like a bus for me.”
“Why not? You’re inside me and I’m inside you and we’re both inside an icebox.”
“Nobody’s ever slowed down for me before.”
“Nobody ever stopped to look. Just think, my husband will find us here tonight, and all he’ll do is wonder why the hell I did this. And what the hell to tell the kids, the neighbors? What the hell to do about supper?”
“Priorities,” he said. “Everybody’s got them.”
“And after asking all those questions he still won’t know a damn thing.”
“Do you think he’ll buy another freezer?”
“Why not? It’s got a lifetime warranty.”
“That’s all it needs to last. One lifetime.”
“Two,” she corrected.
Then they settled into the darkness together.
It grew colder and quieter until she was finished.
Sixteen city blocks away a heart began to beat again.
Captain Nothing opened his eyes, still sitting on the park bench in front of the moldy pizza slice.
Nothing had changed.
“It should have,” he said aloud. “It goddamn well should have changed something.”
And then, in the middle of July in the middle of the city, it began to snow softly, like willows bowing down.
Nobody noticed nothing.
Afterword
Well, if you’ve read all the way through this little e-book and reached the end with your mind soundly boggled and your sense of innate sanity somewhat warped, then I have done my job well.
Captain Nothing has been kicking around my imagination for a lot of years. I grew up reading The Batman and Spirit comics. I liked the tough guys. The ones who did not fart around. But I always wondered just why guys like these were always letting the bad guys slip away. Somehow the Joker and the Octopus never really got what they deserved.
Let’s call this the Gargamel syndrome, shall we Papa Smurf?
I wrote the first story, “The Glint of Moonlight on Broken Glass” for a superhero anthology that was published by a fly-by-night hornswoggle semi-publisher who shall henceforth go nameless.
Just like Captain Nothing.
When that semi-publisher and I parted ways, I sat on Captain Nothing for awhile, wondering just what to do with the galoot.
Then I was approached by another small press, by the name of Nocturne, who asked if I had anything that might suit their lineup. So I put together this collection – which – coupled with some wonderful cover art and interior illustrations by the inimitable Alex McVey hit the market place in 2007. About three minutes past 2007 Nocturne folded up and Captain Nothing fell once more into limbo.
Which sucked.
Then I approached a Toronto publisher, by the name of Burning Effigy Press, who turned the collection into a chapbook format and sold a couple of hundred copies or so – primarily in the Toronto area. They did a great job and even purchased one of the interior illustrations from Alex McVey to reuse as a cover.
When I first approached David Niall Wilson at Crossroad Press, NOTHING TO LOSE was definitely one of the first projects I wanted to see in e-book format. Which brings us to right where you’re looking.
Namely, here.
Let me tell you a little about the stories.
The first story is where it all came together. I saw that mean, mad bastard in a mask kneeling behind that dented trash can and everything came together from there.
The second story, “Lamprey Fellatio”, is about as weird as they get. That’s the sort of story I love to tell with Captain Nothing. I like to break out of the traditional superhero tropes (and haven’t I just been dying to use that word), and get into a weird sort of world-space that will definitely leave you with a what-the-hell-was-I-drinking sort of feeling.
Which it did, I expect.
The last story, “The Meat Axe of Love”, is one of my favorites out of all the stories I have ever written and seen published. I hit notes in there so sad and true that I almost think I know what I am doing.
It’s a good feeling.
So what does the future hold for Captain Nothing?
There will be another short collection for sure. I’m working on it right now and have at least one story written. Someday I would love to see Captain Nothing as an honest-to-Kirby comic book, but for now let’s shelve that in the attic of dreams and round-to-it.
What else is there left to say?
I hope you enjoyed these stories.
About the Author
Steve Vernon has been writing dark fiction for a lot of years. You’ll find his work in the pages of Cemetery Dance, Tor’s Year’s Best Horror, The Horror Show, Flesh & Blood, Hot Blood, Horror Garage and many other tastefully titled markets and magazines. Steve’s ghost story collections Wicked Woods, Halifax Haunts, and Haunted Harbours (Nimbus) are available in many Maritime bookstores.
Steve’s first YA novel, Sinking Deeper – a touching tale of sea monsters and caber tossing – will be released in the spring of 2011 from Nimbus Publishing.
Look for all of Steve Vernon’s upcoming Crossroad Press books
Devil Tree
Long Horn, Big Shaggy
Nothing to Lose
Nothing Down
Rueful Regret
Mountain Ghosts
Gypsy Blood
The Weird Ones
Noir Dark
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