by Clare Revell
“Let us handle it now.” The officer held him firmly, a steel look in his eye that Cal knew only too well.
The other lifeboat surged past them, heading to the bridge. Another navy craft headed in from another direction. Cal sat back in defeat, tears burning his eyes. The RHIB headed quickly back to the shore, landing on the beach itself like he’d seen done in television programs, and he himself had done in training a few nights previously.
The navy officer helped him out and someone put a blanket around his shoulders.
He shook it off and looked at Tom as he came running over. “I have to go back out there and look for Trevor.”
“No. I’m standing you down.”
“Trevor is out there!” Cal yelled, frantic with worry and guilt. “I have to go and find him.”
“You need to stay here. The crews from Porthness are on scene now. As is the navy and coastguard. Search and rescue will be here as soon as the winds die down sufficiently. Go home.”
“Not until Trevor is safe.” Cal tried to head back to the boat, but Tom caught his arm and shook his head.
“Stand down. That’s an order.”
“Not while Trevor is missing.”
“I’m not saying it again.” Tom narrowed his eyes. “You stand down or I will relieve you of duty.”
“Cal!” Hattie’s voice cried out across the beach.
“Fine,” he muttered. “But I want it noted that I do not agree with this decision.” He pulled off his gloves, shoving them into his pocket. Yanking off his helmet, he swallowed hard, bile rising in his throat.
Hattie reached out for him. Her eyes were bright with barely contained tears. “Cal, are you all right? When the boat vanished I thought…”
“I’m fine. I just need a minute.” He hugged her quickly, then headed inside and into the crew changing area. He sank onto the bench and buried his head in his hands.
Was this his fault for insisting on going back out? Was he too close to the bridge or the wreckage? Should he have left that woman, Ellie, to die? No, he shouldn’t have. He was doing his job, but his job could have cost the life of one of his own.
Stripping off, he stood under a hot shower. His eyes burned and the lump in his throat threatened to choke him. A huge sob welled up and overtook him. Then he heard footsteps outside and he reigned in his emotion, swallowing hard. There’d be time for that later. Perhaps.
He toweled off and dressed, before heading towards the office to write his report. He could hear Hattie and Laurie talking and paused at the bottom of the stairs to listen.
“I have to go to him.” Hattie’s voice was broken as if she were crying.
“Give him a few more minutes.” Laurie sounded just as upset, but more in control. “He needs…”
“He could have died out there…”
“Yes, and men react differently to us women. Trust me on that one. He’ll be down when he’s ready.”
Cal headed up the stairs and sat at the desk by the window, pulling open a file to start writing up his report. His vision blurred. What was he doing?
Guilt filled him.
He’d made Hattie cry. He’d left a man out there to die. He’d failed in his duty of care to a civilian. He’d defied orders and risked the lives of three men and for what? And he’d upset the woman he loved.
This was his fault. And no matter what the result, he had to put his hand up and own it.
Forgive me, Lord. Because as long as I live, I will not forgive myself for this. What kind of a man am I? Not one that should be out there, that’s for sure.
His gaze returned to the window. He could see the bridge and the boats surrounding it. Bags and cases were being pulled from the water, along with larger pieces of debris.
Men in fluorescent jackets walked out along the bridge, checking it. How would they raise the train? Or would they just leave it there, as the water was deep enough so it wouldn’t pose a hazard to shipping.
His attention was caught by the lifeboat coming back in. There was another figure in the boat. Pushing back the chair, he leapt to his feet and ran to the door, his exhaustion forgotten. He took the stairs at full pelt, and stood with Tom and the others on the beach.
Hattie crept up beside him and slid her hand into his. He clung to it tightly, feeling like he was drowning all over again. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he whispered. “Just didn’t want to leave him out there.”
“It’s OK. I understand.”
With bated breath he watched as the tractor towed the boat up the shingle towards them.
Justin stood up in the boat and helped the woman over the side. They found Ellie, thank You, Lord. But what about Trevor?
His heart sank as Bert and Roger bent, and then stood, lifting a motionless figure in lifeboat uniform from the bottom of the boat.
Nooooooo…..
19
Hattie woke to the sound of hammering and sawing coming from downstairs. She glanced at the clock and sat bolt upright in shock. One twenty. The muted light from the other side of the curtains meant that must be afternoon. She hadn’t meant to sleep that long at all. Had she slept through her alarm? She’d only wanted a couple of hours. She got up and pulled her robe over her pj’s. Whoever was banging was making way too much noise.
Making her way to the kitchen, Hattie flicked on the kettle and picked up the note propped against it. Hattie, I’ve gone to work. Cal’s here, doesn’t look like he got much sleep if any last night. Make sure he drinks something at least. See you at five.
Pulling her robe tighter around her, she headed towards the source of the noise. She stood in the hallway transfixed at the sight that beheld her.
Cal stood in the den with his back to her. Stripped to the waist with sweat trickling down his back, he ripped out the old doorframe, his arm muscles rippling.
She leaned against the wall, taking in the view, unconsciously tugging her robe tighter. “Morning.”
Cal looked up and shot her a wry smile. “Afternoon, actually. Did I wake you?”
“I had to get up anyway. I hadn’t intended to sleep this long. How are you?”
He shrugged. “Here. How are you?”
“Doing OK. How’s Trevor?”
“He’s in a coma.”
Her stomach twisted. That accounted for the distraught look and the way he threw himself into his work. “Is he going to be all right?”
“I don’t know. They don’t know. I shouldn’t have gone back out. There were other crews. Tom wanted to stand us down. If I hadn’t gone out there, if I hadn’t insisted, launched on my own authority—”
“You can’t second guess yourself, Cal. That woman wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you.”
Cal hit the door frame extra hard, splintering it. “I lost the boat.” He pulled the wood away, puncturing his sentences with bits thudding on the floor, his voice taut with barely suppressed emotion. “I lost Trevor. I lost all those people I never reached in time. He was my friend and I. Lost. Him.”
Hattie caught hold of his arm. “Cal, you pulled a dozen people out of that train wreck Sunday night, if not more. You rescued a shed load of other people this year, including me. That’s dozens of people who would have died if it weren’t for you and countless other crews up and down the country who go out in horrendous weather.”
“Trevor—”
“—was doing his job,” she finished. “Just like you he put his life on the line to save others. Just have faith he’ll be all right.”
“And if he isn’t? Hattie, his wife, Miriam, is expecting another baby. His kid might never know him because I screwed up.”
“Then let’s pray that God over rules and heals him.” She held his gaze, then grabbed his hands tightly in her good one and prayed with him.
“Thank you. Least I’m not meant to be out there for two weeks. Give me time to pull myself together.”
“What will you do?”
“What I normally do. Work. Right now, that’s putting this place to ri
ghts for Laurie. That reminds me.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a sheet of folded paper. “How’s this?”
She took it, his scent filling her.
He held her gaze, then reached for his tee-shirt, pulling it over his head and tugging it over his chest. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said looking at the paper. The design was exactly what she’d asked for and the quote more than reasonable. If it was right. “Is this for all the shutters or just the missing ones?”
“All of them.”
“OK. It sounds great. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“What will happen about the lifeboat?”
“They’ve sent us a temporary one from the repair fleet.” She must have looked as confused as she felt because he carried on. “When a boat needs repairing for whatever reason, they send out a spare, so we can continue to operate. For every six boats built, one goes into the relief fleet. It arrived yesterday, so we’re fully serviceable.”
“That’s good.”
“Only temporary though.”
“Then we fundraise for a new one.”
“Yeah, right.”
She pulled her robe tighter. “How’d you manage to make a double positive sound so negative?”
“Practice. Hattie, you know what a new lifeboat costs. Fundraising will take years. We don’t have that kind of time.”
“I’ll think of some ideas.”
“If you want.”
She reached out, taking hold of his hand. She didn’t understand his reaction at all. She’d thought he’d be pleased she wanted to help. “You’ve gone from loving your job to almost hating it. So you had a bad day at work. It happens.”
“You have a bad day and we get burnt toast or underdone venison. If I have a bad day, people die!” he snapped, pulling away from her.
The doorbell rang. Hattie tugged her robe tighter and went to answer it. Maybe she should have gotten dressed before coming downstairs. The postman offered her a letter and she signed for it. Closing the door she looked at it. From Penny.
She walked to the stairs and sat on them, opening it. A bankers draft fell into her hand. For way more money than she ever thought she’d see in a lifetime. Tears fell slowly down her face.
Cal came into the hall and reached her side in a few short strides. “Hattie, I’m sorry.” He looked downcast, shoulders drooping. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“You didn’t. You may infuriate me sometimes, but I’m not crying because of you.”
“Oh. You’re not?” He sat down on the stairs beside her. “Then why are you crying?”
“I just got this from Penny.” She showed him. “She says it’s what her accountant says I’m owed. Seven years back pay, plus the money I originally put into the lodge. She said I could sue them if they don’t pay me.”
“Why would you want to sue them?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t. I just want out of there,” she whispered. “I want a job here, a life well away from all the stress. It’s all such a mess and I don’t know what to do anymore.” She buried her head in her hands as his arm slid around her shoulders.
“Do about what?”
“Markus has been in contact with Steve.”
Cal visibly bristled. “Really? When did this happen?”
“He did it while you were away. I was going to tell you, but never had the chance. He said he told Steve where I was and that he’s asked Steve and got his permission to marry me.” She sighed. “It doesn’t matter how many times I turn him down, he doesn’t listen. I just want it to end.”
He hugged her. “Then maybe find that great guy you like and elope. Or accept my offer and then Markus can’t bug you over it anymore.”
She smiled as he kissed her cheek. “Maybe I should.” She looked down at the paper in her hand. “How about I pay for Aunt Laurie’s repairs with this?”
“She’s paid up front. If I refund it, she’ll want to know why. And you need to talk to your brother.”
“I’ll take that under advisement.” Or maybe I just buy a lifeboat with the money. Or put it towards the fundraising for a bigger one.
“Do it, Hattie. Life is too short to bear grudges or to be estranged from your twin. Like it or not he’s part of you.”
She straightened. “I should get dressed. Can’t sit around like this all day.”
The phone rang. “No peace for the wicked,” she sighed. “Hello?” Her breath caught and she closed her eyes. “Hello, Steve.”
“Hattie. I heard you were staying with Aunt Laurie. The Penry Island bridge disaster is all over the news. Are you both all right? I tried ringing several times over the past day and got no answer.”
Oh, right, it’s Tuesday, isn’t it? “Yeah, we’re both fine. We helped out all Sunday night and most of yesterday with the rescue and clear up, got home very late last night. Plus the phones have been out because the wind brought all the lines down, so even if we’d been in when you rang, we wouldn’t have gotten the call.”
“What do you mean, you helped with the rescue?”
“Aunt Laurie works at the lifeboat station, so we were down there, making tea and coffee and so on.”
“But you’re all right?”
Was that concern in his voice? She twisted the phone cord around her finger. “I’m fine. Aside from my arm. I broke it in an accident the first week I was here.”
“Maybe you should come home.”
“I’m not coming back. I told you that.” She paused. “I’m looking for work here on the island.”
“I need you here.” His voice rose in anger. “I need the money back. I know Penny sent it to you.”
“Is that the real reason you rang?” she asked quietly. For some reason she wasn’t surprised, even though her heart was breaking. “For the money? You didn’t really want to know how I was at all, did you?”
“It’s my money, Hattie. I want—need it back.”
Hattie pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it for a moment, then slowly put it down, cutting off the call.
There’s no reasoning with him like this, Lord, Please calm him so we can talk about this properly. I don’t want the money, especially if it means that much to him, but I’d rather know why it does. What’s he gotten in to? Is he in trouble of some kind?
She looked at Cal. “All he wants is the money and a slave in his kitchen. I don’t matter to him at all. I’m going to get dressed. Then I’m going for a walk. Need some air.”
“Want some company?”
“Yeah, that’d be nice. Give me five minutes.”
****
Cal held her hand as they walked. She hadn’t said a word since they left the cottage. All he could do was be there, he knew that much from having a sister.
Her mobile rang as they reached a bench overlooking the sea front. Small figures swarmed over the bridge. Huge cranes were being wheeled into position to raise the wreck. The beach was taped off and littered with debris.
“You should answer the phone,” he said gently as it kept ringing.
She pulled it from her pocket and looked at the screen, before slumping down onto the bench. “It’s Steve. Don’t want to speak to him.” She raised her arm and made as if she were going to throw the phone into the sea, but he caught her hand.
“Let me talk to him.” He sat next to her and took the phone from her hand. “Hello, Mr. Steele. This is Callum Trant. We met when…”
“I know who you are. Why have you got Hattie’s phone?”
“We’re out for a walk and she didn’t want to speak to you.”
“Why not?”
Cal reigned in his automatic sharp response. “She’s upset. She has a lot going on right now and could do with your support, rather than you hounding her over money.”
“How dare you? Just because you’re…”
He cut him off. “Hattie was almost killed her first week here, did anyone tell you that? Just cut her some slack.”
“What? Markus never mentioned it. Why wasn’t I told?”
“I have no idea. You’d have to ask him about that. She was out on Markus Kerr’s boat in a storm and the yacht sank. We rescued them. Hattie broke her arm.”
“You rescued her?”
“As part of a team. I work on the lifeboats. We responded to their distress call.”
“I see. May I speak to my sister?”
Cal held out the phone to Hattie. She sighed, but took it. He looked away as she spoke, not listening to her side of the conversation. Instead, he looked out over the bay at the recovery work being undertaken. The crane lifted a carriage onto a huge barge, water pouring from it.
In the sunshine, it was difficult to imagine the horror of two nights ago, but the evidence of it lay all around them. The broken bridge, strewn wreckage and personal belongings which covered the coastline, was nothing compared to the brain-numbing, heart-rending, soul-chilling anguish, which came with having lost his boat and landed Trevor in the hospital. Possibly killed him.
Hattie hung up and put the phone away. “He wants to come over and see me.”
“He’ll have to drive.”
“Yeah, told him that. He’ll leave after breakfast and get back in time for the evening meal, hopefully. Although he did say they had no one staying right now. Not sure how he managed that one, but anyway.” She paused. “He said he’d come tomorrow.”
She pushed to her feet and Cal took her hand, standing with her. She glanced at him as she began walking. “Don’t ask me how I feel about this, because I don’t know.”
“If you want I’ll be there with you. There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. I’ll keep you safe, no matter what.”
Hattie stopped and looked at him. “Did you mean what you said?”
“I always mean what I say.” He looked at her, slight confusion running through him. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”
“No, about marrying me. I mean, so much has happened since, and I know I promised you an answer, but—”
How many times did he need to say it? He’d say it a million times if he had to or shout it from the nearest rooftop. “Yes, I meant it.”
