“I didn’t know that,” Kam said, impressed. “But it makes sense. I know I used to talk to the plants in my mother’s garden.”
“Exactly,” Iris said, her face bright. “Sure you don’t have some Indian blood in your veins, too? Did someone teach you to talk to the plants?”
Feeling heat tunnel into her face, Kam was caught off guard. “I—well, no, no one taught me to talk to plants. I always did because they felt alive.”
“And so they are,” Iris praised her. “Just think of them as people who look different is all. Now, I’m going to introduce myself to this paintbrush.”
Kam remained quiet, as did Wes. They traded a look and Kam felt her heart open a little more to him. He wore a denim shirt, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows, his darkly suntanned arms showing strength and muscle. Wes worked from dawn to dusk, and it showed on his lean and toned body. Kam had seen why Chappy, the ranch manager, relied so heavily on him. No one worked more diligently or reliably than Wes. Kam had seen too many men who lacked integrity and a work ethic. It made Wes that much more appealing to her. Quietly, she told her heart “no.” There simply was no time for a relationship with Wes, even though Iris had mentioned he had no girlfriend. The information made Wes more dangerous to her heart.
“Okay,” Iris told them, looking up, “this plant has given her permission for me to snip off one of her flowers.” She showed Kam how to use her thumb and index finger to gently and quickly snap off the flower head. “Now, hand me that custard dish.”
Kam got up and took it to where Iris knelt in front of the plant. The elder placed the flower head so that it floated on top of the water.
“I’m going to ask the spirit of this plant to put her energy into the water. The custard dish goes next to her body, near her stem. We’ve got sunlight dappling this area. I’ll ask Father Sun to send his energy into the flower and into the water, too. When we make a flower essence, we have to be in a good space within ourselves. We can’t be angry or upset. We have to be focused with our heart open to the plant. That way, our energy is one of harmony and love. This is absorbed by the molecules in the water and that helps to create the flower essence.”
“It’s a lovely way to gather them,” Kam said. She gave Iris her hand to help her to stand up after she’d placed the dish next to the paintbrush. “What now?”
“Well,” Iris said, dusting off her knees, “I’m hoping Zach has found a few more wildflowers that might be early. Let’s go around the hill and see if we can find him. Wes, will you bring along my stuff?”
“I sure will,” Wes said, folding up the spread and putting everything back into the large plastic box.
Kam followed Iris around the grassy knoll. It was only ten in the morning, and the coolness of the night had dissipated. There were unseen gopher holes in the grass and Kam remained near Iris as they carefully trod around the hill. In no time, Wes had caught up with them, plastic box in hand. He smiled over at Kam.
“Pretty cool stuff, huh?” he asked her.
“Definitely.” She turned to Iris, who was on her right. “How did you find out a particular flower could help someone?”
“I was taught to journey into the plant by my Grandmother Bell. I would ask the plant’s permission to do so and then when I journeyed into it, the spirit would tell me how it would help two-leggeds. I would then come out of the journey and write the information down in my notebook.”
“That’s an amazing process,” Kam said. Iris seemed more like a medicine woman than a ranch owner. It was the wisdom gleaming in her eyes, that smile that hovered around her mouth, that told her the elder knew a great deal about nature and her habits.
“Iris, tell Kam what paintbrush is good for,” Wes said.
“It helps people with low self-esteem get their confidence back. For example, if a woman has always dreamed of owning her own business but she’s afraid, paintbrush will imbue her with confidence and belief in herself to fulfill her dreams.”
“Wow,” Kam said, noticing Zach down the hill bending over looking at several different types of wildflowers, “that’s pretty impressive.”
“Yes,” Iris said, proudly. “I sell a lot of Indian paintbrush, mostly to women. I get all kinds of positive feedback from them after they take the flower essence for a month or less. I never have to sell them a second bottle. The energy of the flower, its meaning and abilities, are absorbed by the person and they become very confident. They know there’s a lot of hard work ahead of them, but at least they believe they can tackle it. That’s the first step to owning your dream. Living life isn’t for the weak or fearful. It takes guts to grab for your dream and hold on until you accomplish it. Indian paintbrush gives people just that.”
“How’s that for flower power?” Wes said, obviously impressed with Iris’s story.
Zach lifted his head and called up, “Hey, Grandmother, there are violets over here. Just one bloom, though. Kinda early for them.”
“That’s my grandson,” Iris crowed, giving him a smile. “Good work! We’re coming,” she called.
“Looks like Zach is getting in the mood,” Kam said.
“He always does,” Iris responded, more to herself. “The hardest part is dragging him out of his room, taking those earbuds out of his ears and getting him outdoors. He’s a good boy, just real solitary and introverted.”
“Is Rudd like that?” Kam wondered out loud as they moved down the gentle, grassy slope.
“No. He’s an extrovert, but typical man. Gets along with people real well, but can’t communicate or share his intimate feelings.”
Laughing, Kam nodded and caught Wes’s grimace. “I have never met a man who could share his emotions except for my father.” It was so easy to talk about her adopted family. Kam smiled and said, “I’m with you, Iris. Not many men are able to share their feelings. I wish they would, though.”
“My Trevor did, too,” Iris said, pleased. “We laughed together, cried together. Whatever touched him, touched me and vice versa. He was a wonderful friend and the love of my life.”
Wes gave Iris a gentle look. “I met Trevor many times before I came to work here. He was a fine man, Iris. I’m just sorry he had to leave so early in his life.”
Iris lost her smile and her face softened. “Oh, he’s with me in spirit, Wes. I feel my darling around me all the time.” She eyed him warmly. “And you may believe this or not, but I hear him talking to me, too. He gives me good advice and I listen. In my dreams at night, we discuss the ranch and how things are going. No, he’s still here.”
“That’s wonderful,” Kam said, touched by her admission. “I hope I meet a man like that someday.” And then she happened to glance up to see Wes studying her so intently she flushed to the roots of her hair. The look in his gray eyes was unmistakable. It was a man wanting his woman—in all ways. Lips parting, Kam wasn’t sure what to do or say. Instead, she ripped her gaze away from Wes and paid strict attention to walking down the hill with Iris to where Zach stood.
Heart pounding, Kam lowered her head and watched for the gopher holes so Iris wouldn’t inadvertently walk into one. Wes wanted her. Clearly. What was she going to do? Why was her body traitorously giving her away? A warm ache pooled in her lower body. How long had she been without a man? Too long. In her globetrotting line of business, relationships didn’t survive. Her whole life was pointed toward finding her father, not a permanent relationship with a man. Somehow, Kam knew that until she could find her father or bring her search to some kind of satisfactory conclusion, she would never find the right man she wanted to marry. It was that important to her to find out about her parents. And nothing less would suffice.
Iris stopped and leaned down. Zach had knelt and cleared away the grass so she could see the tiny violet blooming. “Ah, it is a white violet. Nicely done, Zach. What a set of eyes you have! I’d never have seen it with my old pair.” She reached out and patted his head gently.
Zach flushed with pride and pleasure. In that moment, Kam could
see just how vulnerable the boy was. Maybe his mother’s long absences had driven him inward. It was so important for parents to give a child a sense of safety so they could range out into the world with confidence. As she looked into Zach’s brown eyes, Kam wondered if he didn’t need Indian paintbrush himself to boost his confidence. Or maybe the insecurity came from teenage hormones. Kam recalled her own years as a teen in the Trayhern family. She had gone through periods of wanting to be left alone, to have privacy but she had never hidden from life or her parents.
Zach pulled some of the closest strands of grass away so that Iris could kneel down in front of the little plant. He was careful not to uproot the violet. Iris had taught him well, and he was respectful of the process despite his earlier gripes.
Wes placed the white cotton spread out to the right of Iris and brought out utensils for her to use.
“Grandmother, remember when I was a little kid you used to take me out in late May or early June to pick violets? You’d make violet candy then.” Zach smiled wistfully. “It was always good.”
Iris settled in front of the violet. Zach knelt down opposite her, his gangly hands covering his long, thin thighs. “Indeed I do. But the last five years you never wanted to do it.”
“Maybe this year? I always loved the violet-flower candy.”
“Of course,” Iris said, giving him a smile. “Just you and me. You know where the violets are thick in another week.”
“Yeah, over on Sunrise Hill. There’s a nice, wet marshy area and there’s hundreds of them.”
Kam could see the magic of their connection. Iris had been visibly moved by Zach’s unexpected and enthusiastic request. Maybe it was the magic of the flowers. Kam knelt down to the left of Iris.
“How do violets help us, Iris?”
“Violets have a long history of soothing an ailing heart,” Iris told them as she sprinkled cornmeal around the plant. “They are for introverts who need to come and live in the world again.” She smiled over at Zach, who watched her every move. “Maybe this flower has touched you with her energy, Zach.”
He shrugged bashfully. “I dunno, Grandmother.”
“How did you find it? With all this grass, it would be nearly impossible to see it.”
“Ahh,” he mumbled, avoiding everyone’s gaze, “I just felt around and then started looking for it.”
“You have your father’s intuition working in you,” Iris said confidently. “Well done! Often, a plant that wants to share something will call to you. Now, it’s certainly not in English, but it gently touches one’s heart. You feel a tug to walk a certain direction. Is that what you felt?”
“Yeah, I guess it was,” Zach said, a bit amazed.
Kam said, “This is incredible. How magical, Iris.”
“Oh, believe me, you start working with nature and magic does happen,” Iris chuckled.
Kam suddenly wished there was a flower essence for adopted children. She wanted something to ease the hole in her heart. It was too painful not to know the complete story of her origins. She almost voiced her wish but bit down on her lower lip. To ask would give her away, and she wasn’t yet ready to confront Rudd. Every time she thought she was ready, a cold bolt of fear thrust down through her and made her stomach ache with anxiety.
“Violet heals the heart?” Wes asked.
“That’s right,” Iris said, gently picking the white flower and reverently placing it in the custard glass that Wes had partly filled with water. “Heart healer is what I call a violet. She gives introverts a desire to move out into the real world, too. She celebrates life in all its rainbow colors of love.”
Glancing up, Kam caught Wes studying her beneath the brim of his cowboy hat. His eyes gleamed with silver, and, once more, she felt herself go hot and shaky. The man could simply look at her and set her on fire. What would he think of her ultimate goal in coming here? Of not being honest and forthright with the Mason family? Her conscience railed within her. There were no easy answers.
Kam still lacked the courage to unveil herself to them. She didn’t want to disappoint Iris or Wes. Or Rudd. And she knew they would be disappointed once they found out she was there under false pretenses. Rubbing her brow, Kam felt anxious and unhappy. She loved these people. They were kind and generous to her. Like the salt of the earth, they had no agenda—unlike her.
What was she going to do?
CHAPTER EIGHT
EVERYONE was going crazy behind the scenes at the ranch in preparation for tomorrow’s special Independence Day celebration. Families had reserved cabins for this particular week and the ranch was filled to capacity. There would be an old-fashioned barbecue, square dancing and a live country band out near the cabins. Wes and his crew had been working for days to lay down the temporary flooring and stage for the event.
“Kam? Do you have a minute?” Rudd stuck his head around the door into Iris’s office. It was lunchtime and most employees had left for the dining room. She had wanted to tie up a few loose ends first.
“Sure. Hold on, I’ve got a couple of more pieces of shipping tape to put on this flower-essence order and I’ll be done.”
He opened the door further and stood waiting for her, hat in hand.
Rudd gazed around the quiet office. “Iris was saying that her orders for flowers essences are up by thirty percent this year. That’s a lot.”
Smiling, Kam got up from her desk and put the small cardboard box into the mailing bag. “I think my suggestion to promote via Youtube helped.”
“I do, too,” Rudd said, grinning. “You’ve been a real blessing to Iris. To all of us.”
Kam felt a stab of guilt once more. She didn’t like being such a coward. The family that raised her embraced honor, sacrifice and courage for their country through their generations of military service. How did she fit in? Kam forced a smile she didn’t feel.
Grabbing her cowboy hat, she said, “What’s up?”
Rudd fell into step with her down the hall. “Oh, not much,” he said. “Let’s go to the office and talk.”
Fear suddenly moved through her. Kam knew this was unusual behavior for Rudd. Normally, he was out in the field and not in the office. He’d finally hired an assistant, an older woman in her fifties named Patty Dayton. She was a widow and lived in Jackson. Her dynamic energy and intelligence had allowed Rudd to become mostly free of office duties, much to his joy and relief.
Kam followed him into the empty office. Through the window, she could see into the dining room, where guests and workers alike were eating. Everyone seemed happy to be there. She only hoped she could join them, that Rudd hadn’t called her in to fire her. She took a seat and waited.
Placing his hat on the desk, Rudd leaned back in the chair and laced his long fingers across his flat belly. He gave Kam an assessing look. “I just wanted to take time to thank you for being here. My mother has bloomed because of your presence.” He shrugged and said, “None of the other caregivers took to Iris. I’m sure my wife helped drive them off, too. We haven’t had much success in finding someone who can deal with the strong women in this household…until now. You’re different, Kam.”
Kam bit her lower lip to stop herself from revealing that Allison didn’t like her, either. Allison didn’t seem to like anyone. She was insufferably focused on her dying Hollywood career. Allison hadn’t gotten the bit part when she’d flown out to Hollywood in May. She’d come home sulking, irritable and angry at everyone. Often, Kam would hear her fighting with her daughter, Regan. Or worse, with Rudd. Their voices would carry through the sprawling ranch house and Kam couldn’t help but hear their arguments. She smiled. “I like Iris. I hope I’m just like her when I get to be her age. She’s a real role model for me, Rudd.”
“It shows. I just wanted to say thank you, Kam. There’s just something about you that agrees with Iris. My mother doesn’t suffer fools, as you well know, and I’ve never heard her complain about you once.”
“That’s nice to know. Thank you.”
He studied her, the silence growing in the office. “My mother’s blood pressure is down. She’s taking her meds instead of fighting everyone about them, and I’ve honestly not seen her this well or happy since before my dad died. There’s magic between you two, that’s for sure.”
Kam was touched by his words. “Thank you, Rudd. Every morning I check her blood pressure with my cuff, listen to her heart and make sure her medications are there to take. She’s been a wonderful patient from that perspective.”
“Well,” he said gruffly, “her doctor is amazed at how she’s rebounded. She’s actually better. I’m happy about that. She’s a tough old buzzard and I always hoped her later years would be kind to her. And I believe you’ve helped make them just that.”
Kam saw a sheen in Rudd’s eyes, but it soon vanished as the man worked to school his emotions. “Iris is special,” Kam agreed quietly. “I feel privileged to be around her. She’s taught me so much about gardening. I love the way she sees plants and how they can help us heal. You’re lucky to have such a mother.”
Rudd nodded and touched his handlebar mustache. “I’m sorry you never met Trevor. He was so much like her. Together they were a pair of dynamos with this ranch. We have happy employees, we’re making money and we’re doing something good for people and the earth.”
“It doesn’t get much better than that,” Kam said, clasping her hands. Now was a perfect opportunity to speak to Rudd. To tell him the truth. Automatically, her gut tightened and her mouth went dry. Something inside made her keep quiet.
Shadows from the Past Page 9
