“What happens to the ranch, then?” Kam asked.
Shrugging, she said, “Who knows? The father has written all three children out of his will. It’s a real shame. The ranch is profitable and he could make it as good as ours. But he won’t get that chance.” Then, Iris looked at Kam with intent. “You know, to some women, a man not having money might turn them off.”
“Sure. But times have changed. A woman can take care of herself.”
“So, the man you love doesn’t have to be rich?”
Hearing the sly undertone in Iris’s voice, Kam grinned. “You’re matchmaking, Iris, and it won’t work.”
Iris had enough humility to look embarrassed at getting caught and grinned.
“Wes and you would make a beautiful couple. You’re both hardworking, you have integrity and morals.” Iris’s brows dipped. “Unlike some people on this ranch.”
Kam nodded patiently. “I’m really sorry for what you go through with Allison. Rudd is such a nice man. I can see why you’re so proud of him. We don’t always marry the right person, you know.”
“Humph.”
“I think Allison tries, but from what I can see, she really isn’t a rancher’s wife. She’s tied to Hollywood and loves the glamour, the attention and press. Nothing wrong with that.”
“But you won’t get much of that out here in Wyoming,” Iris said, jabbing her finger toward the floor. With a shake of her head, she muttered, “I just don’t know what got into him to marry her. And then, eight months later, Regan was born.”
“She was a preemie?”
“I guess,” Iris said glumly. “She had a few problems, but then she rebounded and has been healthy ever since, thank goodness.”
“Your two grandchildren are pretty nice, Iris.”
“Yes, they are. You know how I worry about Zach. He can’t keep his head into those darn games forever. I’m trying to figure out a way to yank him back into the real world.”
Just then, Regan walked into the office. With her hair swept up and gold hoops dangling from her ears, she was dressed casually in olive-green cargo pants and a black T-shirt. “Hey, Grandmother!”
“Hey yourself,” Iris said, smiling up at her granddaughter. “You look pretty this morning.”
“Thank you. My film took an honorable mention at the Sedona Film Festival.”
“Yes!” Iris exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air. “I’m so proud of you, Regan. It looks like your mother’s Hollywood career is rubbing off on you.”
“Thanks. I’m so excited about the honor. I had an idea.” She grimaced and then dove on, waving her hands excitedly. “I was thinking about doing a short documentary film about the buffalo on our ranch. But I need more money.”
Frowning, Iris said, “Regan, you and Zach get a very generous allowance every month.”
“I know, I know. And I’m really grateful you give us so much, Grandmother. But I need more money.”
“For what?”
Shifting from one foot to another, Regan said, “I need to pay for an editor. I’m a filmmaker, not a film editor. After this honorable mention, I want to shoot another film and try to sell it to the cable stations. And I don’t have enough to pay for a film editor. Please?”
“I’m giving you a thousand dollars a month, Regan. That’s more than most teenagers or young adults ever get as an allowance. Why can’t you edit your own film?”
“Because,” the woman protested, her voice going high with frustration, “I don’t want to be a film editor! It’s a drudge job! No one knows film editors. Everyone knows a film’s director.”
“Fame,” Iris growled, hunkering down at her office desk. “Just like your mother, Regan. Fame is nothing.”
“I don’t want to discuss that with you. Every time I do, we get into a fight. All I want is to get someone who can edit my film on a computer.”
“Computer?” Iris straightened. “You need a computer to do this?”
“All film-editing is done that way nowadays,” Regan said.
“Then get Zach to help you. God knows, that boy is a geek and then some. Surely he can edit your film.”
Regan gave a little cry of protest. “No! He won’t do it!”
“Well, you’d better convince him,” Iris said archly, “because I’m not giving you any more money, Regan.”
Defeated, she glanced toward Kam who was minding her own business. She turned back to her grandmother. “Okay, I’ll ask him.”
“Good,” Iris praised. “And if Zach will do it, and he needs some special software to do editing, I’ll be more than happy to pay for it.”
“Really?” Regan’s voice suddenly went high with hope. “You would?”
“Yes, I will. Now, go ask your brother if he’ll help you.”
“Thank you, Grandmother.” Regan grinned and walked quickly out of the office.
Once the door shut, Iris shook her head. “Regan gets more money than ninety-nine percent of the children in America and she’s an adult. Yet, she wants more. Do I look like an endless well of cash for that girl?”
“You did a good thing,” Kam said, smiling. “Your ploy to get Zach involved was brilliant.”
“Well, I had to do something to dislodge that boy from those stupid, violent computer games. Maybe Regan can accomplish what I can’t.” She winked. “They don’t call me the Silver Fox for nothing.”
Kam laughed with her. “Let’s keep our fingers crossed.”
“You must be my lucky touchstone. Good things seem to happen when you’re around.”
A lucky touchstone. Kam had never thought of herself as lucky for anyone. “If it works, Iris, it’s because of you and your plan, not me.”
“Oh no you don’t.” Iris waved a finger at her. “Every once in a while a person comes into your life who does nothing but bring you happiness and good fortune. You’re that person to me.”
A wave of love hit Kam. More than ever, she wished Iris was her grandmother. “Iris, you’ve given all that and more to me by just being you.”
Chortling, Iris said, “Well, what do you know? We’re a mutual admiration society!”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KAM COULDN’T live with her cowardice anymore. Pressured by Wes’s growing interest and her own attachment to him and the Masons, she needed to confront them soon. On a warm, muggy July night, she sat in the living room of her suite and called her family.
“Hello? Morgan Trayhern speaking.”
Feeling an instant of relief, Kam cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder. “Hi, Dad.”
“Kam! It’s good to hear from you. How are things? Last time you called, you were in a real quandary.”
Closing her eyes, Kam whispered, “I’m in an even worse one now.”
“Oh?”
Just hearing Morgan’s deep, soothing voice settled her knotted gut. “Dad, I’m such a coward. I can’t believe how scared I am. The more I stay here, the more I love Iris and Rudd. I get along okay with his son and daughter. Allison ignores me and treats me like hired help, but she does that to everyone, so I don’t feel picked upon.”
“Honey, I know you’re scared that Rudd Mason will reject you. Your whole life is hanging in the balance. For the record, you’re not a coward. There are just different ways to approach this situation.”
“If it was you, Dad, you’d have just walked up to Rudd and told him the truth.”
“But it’s not me,” he said gently.
Kam rubbed her furrowed brow. “Oh, how I wish I was home right now. I have horrible insomnia, and it’s getting worse. All I can do is think about talking to Rudd. And then,” her voice dropped, “Wes is…interested in me.”
“Oh, that cowboy you like?”
“Yes, him.”
“What’s so wrong with that?”
Kam opened her eyes and stared at the light and shadows thrown about the living room by the single stained-glass water-lily lamp next to the couch. “I feel like I’m leading him on.”
“And
so that is driving you to talk with Rudd?”
Kam was always surprised at his insight. “Yes, it is. I’ve made up my mind to talk to him tomorrow morning. He’s usually in the office after the rush of getting the dude-ranch guests off for their morning jaunts. It’s usually quiet then and he’s alone.”
“Isn’t there a more private place? What if someone comes into the office? Do you really want an interruption?”
“I didn’t think of that. You’re right.”
“Why not invite him out of the office to your suite? There, you can talk behind closed doors without interruption.”
“That’s a better idea.”
“Just tell Iris that you’ll be gone for an hour and let her know where you are in case she needs you,” Morgan counseled.
“Right. I’m so glad I called you, Dad. I’m still scared to death, but now I don’t feel so out of control.”
Morgan chuckled. “Listen, this is the most important moment of your life, Kam. You know who your mom was. Now, you’re potentially looking at your father. When you’re done talking with Rudd, why not give us a call? We’re here to support you any way we can.”
A sheet of love flowed through Kam. “Thanks, Dad. I will. Can you tell Mom that I called?”
“Oh, you can count on that.” Morgan laughed. “She’d beat me within an inch of my life if I didn’t tell all.”
Laughing with him, Kam sobered. “Thanks. You know that even if Rudd turns out to be my biological father, you’ll always be my dad.”
“Listen,” Morgan said, his voice roughened, “we love and support you, Kam. We always will. We’ll be happy to play whatever role in your life you want. You’re in control here.”
“SO,” RUDD SAID, smiling and making himself comfortable on Kam’s leather couch, “what’s this all about?”
Kam sat down in the chair opposite the couch.
She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. In her hand was the photo. “Rudd, I feel bad about coming here under the radar,” she began in a shaky tone. “And I want to apologize for that, first of all.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
As if an invisible hand squeezed off her breathing, Kam got up and handed him the photo. “I think I need to start with this.”
Rudd took the photo. His brows moved downward. “This is from a long time ago.” And then he looked intently over at Kam. She had paled, her cheeks were no longer flushed. Rudd saw real fear in her eyes, as if she were warding off a blow.
“Do you remember that time?” she asked him quietly, hands damp and clasped in her lap.
“Sort of. I was attending a cattle convention in Los Angeles. That was a time when genetics and cloning were first coming on the scene. I was interested in the process and attended.”
“Do you know the people in that photo?”
“I know the man in the lab coat was a veterinary researcher with a gene-based company. And the other guy was a salesman for a pharmaceutical company.”
“And the woman?” Kam could barely breathe, her voice sounding strained.
Rudd sat back, still staring at the photo. His mouth twisted faintly beneath his mustache. “I think I need to ask you something first,” he began cautiously. Holding up the photo, he said, “How did you come into possession of this?”
The crush of fear settled around Kam. But for once, she couldn’t be the coward. “It’s a long story, Rudd, but I need to tell you…” Kam began with the devastating earthquake in Los Angeles. As she rapidly covered the events, Rudd’s eyes widened. He would look down at the photo and then up at her. Tears pricked the back of her eyes but Kam forced them away as she finished the story. Opening her hands, she whispered unsteadily, “I came here to find out if you’re my father. The only way to know is for you to get a DNA test. I’m really sorry I wasn’t more honest and up-front with you, Rudd. I—I’m just trying to find the truth. That photo is all I have of my mom and you’re in it. Did anything happen between you two?”
The words died on her lips as she witnessed many emotions move across Rudd’s weathered, lined face. For a moment, he closed his eyes, the photo resting in his hand. And then he opened them and stared at her.
“My God,” he rasped. “You look just like her….”
Kam gulped.
Rudd quirked his mouth. “I didn’t know.”
“What didn’t you know?”
Rudd looked up at the ceiling, his mouth drawn in a grimace. “I met two women at that conference. One was your mother and the other was Allison.”
“I knew Allison was there. Iris told me how you two met.”
“Yes, she was a Hollywood starlet hired by this one pharmaceutical company to present their products. Damn it….”
Anguish and anger flared in Rudd’s eyes.
“Then, there is the possibility I’m your daughter?” Kam asked.
“Yes,” he said, finally. Putting the photo on the coffee table, he rubbed his face. He shook his head. “This is a hell of a shock.”
“I’m sorry. I should have been more up-front about it.”
“Wouldn’t have mattered,” Rudd grumbled.
“Will you get a DNA test to prove whether I’m your daughter?”
Rudd nodded. “Of course.” Suddenly getting up, he pushed his hands into his pockets and moved tensely around the room.
“This really makes things messy with your wife and children,” Kam whispered. “I’m sorry, Rudd. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
Rudd looked out the picture window at the lush, green valley. In the distance, brown-and-white Herefords grazed contentedly on the spring grass. “I didn’t know about you, Kam.” Turning, he stared over at her. “I would never father a child and then walk away. I was adopted so I know what it means not to have parents.”
“I understand,” Kam admitted. “You’re honest and responsible.”
“I am,” he said. Sighing, Rudd glanced at his scuffed cowboy boots. “She never contacted me. Your mother never told me she was pregnant with you.”
“I don’t know why,” Kam answered lamely. “The earthquake destroyed most of the stuff in her apartment. She had a diary, but it was nothing but ashes.”
“Damn.” Rudd clenched his fist and paced around the living room. “I tried to call her after I got home from Los Angeles. She never answered my calls. I chalked it up to a one-night stand after that. Allison was chasing me and frankly, I forgot about your mother shortly after that. Less than a month later, we married. When Allison came to the ranch, my life changed. I wish I’d known.”
Hearing the terrible regret in his heavy tone, Kam wrung her hands. She watched as Rudd continued to pace like an imprisoned animal in a cage. “I wish I could get inside my mother’s head to know what she was thinking back then. I’m really sorry to stir up the past.”
Rudd turned toward her, his arms across his chest. “None of this is your fault, Kam. You’re the victim in this.”
“I’ve never felt like a victim.”
“I’m glad the Trayhern family adopted you. And I’m glad you had a good home life.” And Rudd scowled. “I’ll call my doctor today and drive to Jackson and get the DNA test started. I don’t want to leave you hanging fire any longer than you have been already. If nothing else, you deserve to know one way or another. And so do I.”
Kam cringed, realizing Rudd would have to tell Allison. No doubt the woman wouldn’t take kindly to this revelation. She’d probably come after Kam, accusing her of being a spy among them. Yes, Kam deserved that assault. She hadn’t been honest from the beginning. “I’m sorry I was such a coward about this, Rudd. I was so scared you’d throw me out.”
Rudd sat back down and stared at her. “I’m trying to understand your side of it, Kam. On one level, I know the hell you’ve gone through. We’re more alike than you realize.”
Kam nodded, tears brimming in her eyes, and she could no longer stop them. “When Iris told me you were adopted, my gut just knotted. I wondered what the chances were of an
adopted boy growing up to create another adopted child.”
Rudd shook his head. “If you are my daughter, I am so deeply sorry, Kam. I just wish…well,” he sighed, and rested his hands across his knees, “I can’t go back and change things. All we can do is move forward now.”
“And if I’m not your daughter,” Kam whispered, “I’m sorry for the trouble that I know this will cause. I realize you have to tell your wife and mother.”
“I’d like to wait to tell them, Kam. For now, I want to keep this between us until I get the DNA test results back.”
“Of course,” Kam said.
“Thanks for coming to me privately about this,” Rudd said. “I appreciate it.”
“All I see is that this thing that happened twenty-eight years ago is going to hurt a lot of people. I hate hurting people, but I had to know the truth. You understand?”
“Listen,” Rudd growled unhappily, “I went through this with my father, who left me after I was born. I hunted him down, I found him and I confronted him.” He rubbed his callused hands together and slid them along his jeans. “It wasn’t easy. I was just as scared as you’re feeling. I know what you’re going through.”
Trying to breathe fully, Kam searched his face. “If the test comes back negative, then I’ll leave. I don’t want to cause you any more pain or discomfort. And I have to try to find my biological father.”
Rudd nodded. “I know what you’re saying. I had that same feeling and had to track down my father. I had to find out why he walked out of my life. It’s a wound, Kam. Unless you heal it, it’ll keep bleeding you dry every day of your life. I know…”
Kam swallowed hard as tears ran. “I always feel this ache in my heart that nothing and no one can ever fill.”
“Well, let’s see where we go from here, shall we?” He stood. “As soon as I know about the DNA test, we’ll sit down together and go over it with my doctor in town. I assume you have your DNA tests with you?”
“Yes. I’ll give you a copy of it to give to your doctor.”
Shadows from the Past Page 12
