“Allison, I’m not going to my mother about this. If you think it’s that important, you go and talk to her. I’m okay with whatever way Iris views Kam. If she doesn’t want to give her anything in that will, I’m fine with that. If she does, I’m fine with that, too.”
“Well,” Allison snapped angrily, “someone needs to protect our children, Rudd. Damn you for being spineless.” With that, Allison marched off, no doubt to plead her case with Iris. Rudd went to prepare himself for the night ahead.
EVERYONE WAS ORDERED to show up for dinner. Iris had backed Rudd on that request at least. He sat at one end of the table and Allison sat at the other. Iris sat with Kam, and Regan and Zach were on the opposite side. The whole family now knew Kam was Rudd’s daughter.
Becky Long moved quietly around the table with bowls of gazpacho. Like a shadow, she disappeared through the door, leaving the naked tension in the dining room.
Rudd scanned the table. Hands on either side of his soup bowl, he said, “I’m making an official announcement tonight. Kam, as you know, is my daughter. From now on, she’ll be eating with us. I’m hoping that after the shock of all of this subsides, we can learn to get along like a family.” He turned to Kam. “I want to welcome you to our table, Kam. I’m glad you’re here.”
Iris patted Kam’s hand. “I’m glad she’s here, as well.” Iris then looked pointedly at Allison, who was sulking.
“Welcome, Kam,” Allison said in a low voice.
“Thank you,” Kam murmured. She could see Allison’s face was flushed with latent fury banked in her eyes.
“Regan?” Rudd nudged. “Welcome your sister.”
Regan lifted her lip. “Sorry, Father, but Kam is a half sister.” Regan stared defiantly across the table. “I don’t have to like you, Kam, but I do have to be civil.”
“Fair enough,” Kam said. She saw Zach grimace and stare down at his bowl.
“Zach?” Rudd said.
“Yeah, well, whatever,” the teen mumbled. “I hate these meals, anyway. I’d rather eat in my room.”
Rudd glared at him. “You’re in there ninety-nine percent of every day. The least you can do is share one meal with your family. Now, welcome Kam.”
Lifting his head, Zach muttered, “Welcome.”
“Thanks, Zach.” Kam felt the weight of the tension across her shoulders. This wasn’t a happy family gathering. Three were against her. Two were for her. Well, what did she expect? How would she feel if she was suddenly told out of the blue that she had a new half sister?
Looking around and meeting everyone’s gaze, Kam said quietly, “I can’t imagine how shocking or hard this is for each of you. I feel like I should apologize, but Rudd said I shouldn’t. I hope over the coming weeks and months that we can get along. I don’t expect you to like me or love me. Those are things a person earns over time. I hope you will give me that time.”
Regan snatched up her spoon and sipped the soup. Zach sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Allison glared at Kam, her hands clenched into fists on either side of the white bowl. Kam wondered obliquely if Rudd’s wife wanted to strike her or her father. She wasn’t sure.
Iris picked up her soupspoon. “Kam, everyone here is going to be giving you the time you need.” She looked directly at Allison.
“Well, of course, Iris,” Allison trilled, giving her mother-in-law a smirk. She picked up her flatware. “This is a bump in the road. I’m sure everyone will strive to get along.”
“Nice to hear,” Iris said in a grumbling tone.
Kam couldn’t wait until dinner was over. It seemed to go on forever. The salad was pretty to look at, but she had no appetite. She noticed Zach ate the soup with relish, pushed the salad away and drank one can of soda after another. When Tilly brought in the main course, leg of lamb rubbed with rosemary, Irish potatoes and curried carrots as a side dish—he didn’t touch the food. Zach was pathetically thin. Now, Kam knew why.
She noticed Regan shooting her stabbing looks from time to time. Kam forced herself not to respond to the glares from her half sister. Regan sank her teeth into the succulent lamb as if she were biting into Kam.
Allison kept up a drone of patter enough to bore anyone to sleep. Rudd’s wife ran table discussions like a control freak. Everything was about Hollywood, a director, a movie or a friend of hers who was in a television show. Kam kept her head down, eyes on her food and remained mute. Right now, she needed to understand the family dynamic, not blunder into a situation and make things worse.
Dessert was fresh strawberries from Iris’s garden slathered with whipped cream. Kam forced herself to eat them because she knew Iris was proud of her homegrown produce. In fact, all the vegetables at dinner tonight had come from her garden last season. Iris canned over a thousand jars of veggies and fruits each year.
When coffee was served, Regan and Zach politely excused themselves, as did their mother. That left the other three at the table with the fragrant Colombian coffee scenting the air. Kam saw the strain on her birth father’s face and her heart went out to him. Even though Rudd had stressed that this was not her fault, she couldn’t help but feel responsible.
Iris sighed. “That was wonderful lamb, Rudd. There’s nothing like growing our own meat, veggies and fruit. It gives me a deep sense of satisfaction.”
“I agree, Mother. How do you think things went tonight?” Rudd asked after sipping his coffee.
“They were all on good behavior,” Iris responded. “We can’t expect them not to be upset, but in time, I’m sure things will settle down.”
Rudd glanced over at Kam. “Thanks for taking the high road on this tonight. You could have gotten upset by Regan’s anger, but you didn’t.”
“I feel for all of them,” Kam quietly confided. “I try to put myself in their shoes and ask myself how I would feel.”
“That’s a good thing to do,” Iris chimed in, smiling over at her. “That’s called practicing the Golden Rule—do unto others as you would have them done to you. Or some such thing. You know what I mean.”
Kam laughed softly. “Yes, I do. My belief system stresses compassion and understanding. I always try to extend that to everyone.” Kam shrugged and added, “Most of the time it works and sometimes it doesn’t.”
“It’s called being human,” Iris said. “No one is perfect.”
“Least of all, me,” Rudd muttered, staring down at the steaming coffee in the cup before him.
“Son, you didn’t know,” Iris began, frustration in her tone. “Sometimes, things are meant to be no matter how careful we are. Kam was meant to come into this world.” She patted Kam’s hand. “And we’re very glad you are here. Don’t ever think for a split second that you aren’t wanted, because you are. Always remember that Rudd and I love you.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
KAM FOUND Wes on horseback over in one of the larger corrals. He was busy herding Herefords into a chute for their vet check. The morning sunlight was bright through threatening clouds.
How she had looked forward to seeing him! Iris had given her a couple of days off, and now Kam needed to confess to Wes. He had to know the truth about her being Rudd’s daughter.
She wasn’t sure what she was going to say. It wasn’t exactly good timing either with Wes taking over his father’s ranch. Maybe she could alleviate some of his pain. At least, he would understand why she’d been so hesitant. As Kam pulled up and parked near the corral in her Toyota Prius, Wes looked in her direction.
He lifted his hand and smiled broadly, his teeth starkly white against his sun-darkened skin.
Instantly, Kam’s heart beat harder as his smile warmed her like sunshine after a hard storm. How handsome he looked sitting astride a buckskin gelding, sweat running down the sides of his weathered face. Wes gave orders to another cowboy in the dust-laden corral with him and turned the gold quarter horse with the black mane and tail toward the gate. Kam walked forward to meet him.
Wes dismounted and tied his horse to the top pipe rail, then ope
ned the gate. Taking off his hat, he wiped the sweat off his brow, shut the gate and faced her. Nothing looked as beautiful as Kam Trayhern coming to meet him. Her white T-shirt and jeans lovingly detailed her long, long legs and shapely hips. The heavensent sight of her in her Stetson, cowboy boots and a red bandanna around her neck, was enough to make Wes forget the pressures on his life.
Wes grinned. “You look like a real cattle rancher. It’s like you’ve lived this life forever.”
As heat soared from her neck into her face, Kam met Wes’s sparkling gray eyes. Strands of dark brown hair were plastered to his brow. “That’s a nice compliment.” Kam couldn’t help herself. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. While shocked at herself, she had no time to think about her impulse. She did notice the look in Wes’s eyes, as if he couldn’t wait to get her alone. “How are you doing?” she asked, a little breathless as she quickly stepped back to create some distance.
Wes settled the hat back on his head and Wes grinned. “Fine, now.” He pointed to a nearby red truck with the tailgate open. “Let’s get something to drink. Always smart on a day like this. We’re vet-checking the herd to make sure there’s no cuts, abrasions or infections. Something we routinely do, but a lot of hot, dusty work. If Dr. Evans finds any problems, I asked her to use a natural antibiotic product like calendula instead of drugs. They use the same thing over at the Elkhorn. My father uses hormone shots and I think that’s wrong. I’m going to sell off this herd and start all over after he’s gone. We’re going to go organic like the Elkhorn.”
“Your father is against raising organic beef?”
Nodding, Wes halted at the tailgate and handed her two tall paper cups. A twenty-gallon plastic dispenser contained iced tea. “Yes. I tried for years to get him to change his attitude. I saw the meat market moving toward unvaccinated and non-hormone beef about ten years ago. He laughed me off and told me my ideas were crazy.”
Hearing the regret in Wes’s tone, she watched as he took off his gloves and tucked them into his belt. “How many cattle does he run here?” In a smaller cooler were ice cubes, along with a green plastic bottle of lemon juice and a can of sugar. Kam helped herself and put some ice cubes into his cup. Wes put each cup beneath the spout of the large tea dispenser.
“Five thousand head,” Wes told her. “He has the second-largest ranch in Wyoming next to the Elkhorn,” he said, adding a squirt of lemon and spooning sugar into the cup. After stirring his drink, he leaned against the edge of the tailgate and watched the action in the corral.
“That’s a lot of cattle,” Kam said, sipping her tea. The clouds of dust that rose in the corral were moved by a slight breeze away from the bustling area. She took a deep breath and quietly asked, “What’s the latest on your father?”
Wes took gulp of his drink before answering. “He’s dying. My mother asked the hospice to come in, and they are making sure he’s comfortable.”
“And she’s with him?”
“Always.”
Wes frowned and drank the rest of his tea. “I know I didn’t talk much about my family when I was over at the Elkhorn with you, but it’s a mess. My brother and sister who live in Cheyenne refuse to come and say goodbye. My mother is upset, but she doesn’t understand.”
“I know a little about alcoholism,” Kam admitted quietly, sitting on the tailgate next to Wes. “I had a photographer friend whose mother had the disease. It wasn’t pretty.”
“No,” Wes said grimly, turning to get some more tea, “it’s not. My father would whip us with a belt when he was drunk. He’s what they call a mean drunk. We lived in fear of him drinking because we knew he’d come hunting us down.”
“Didn’t your mother try and stop that abuse?” Kam heard the alarm in her voice. She noticed Wes scowl as he fixed his tea.
“No. Frankly, he beat up on her until us kids came along. And then he focused on us and not her.”
Anger stirred in Kam. “A mother’s duty is always to protect her children.”
“Yeah,” Wes sighed, leaning against the tailgate and sipping the iced tea, “you don’t need to tell us that.” He rubbed the sweat away from his left temple. “That’s why none of us will go see him to say goodbye. There’s nothing but anger and hard feelings toward him. My mother doesn’t get it. I doubt she ever will. She’s codependent and an abuse victim and refuses to break out to get healthy like we have.”
“You have a lot of hard decisions to make,” Kam said, giving him a tender look. For all the hardness in Wes’s face, there was anguish in his gray eyes. He might talk tough about his father, but something told her that he needed to say goodbye to him. That wasn’t her call. Kam couldn’t even imagine his experience because she had been raised in such a loving, healthy family compared to Wes and his siblings.
“They figure he’ll die today,” Wes muttered. “My brother and sister will be going to support my mother this evening at the hospital.”
“Maybe that’s best,” Kam said. “Death can be a release for everyone involved. For the person who is dying as well as those who are left behind. My friend went through that with his mother. She got liver disease after all those years of drinking. I saw him suffer through those last six months with her and the terrible toll it took on him. When he came back to work, he had aged five years.”
“Yeah, it will do it to you,” Wes agreed, watching the activity in the corral. Most of the herd had been pushed through the chutes. Soon enough, they would be released back to the green pastures that surrounded the huge ranch. Wes glanced over at Kam. “You look preoccupied. Anything going on at the Elkhorn?”
This was her chance. Kam realized that Wes would not be going to the hospital to see his father. And he was okay with that, as much as a son could be with his father dying. Sensing he was in a stable place despite the crisis in his own family, she decided to tell him everything.
“Wes, do you have about an hour of time? I know you’re busy here.”
“No, that’s fine. The number-two hand is going to handle the rest of this herd going through for the vet-check.” He got off the tailgate and pointed to the sprawling ranch house. “Let’s amble over to the front porch. There’s a swing there. We can sit and talk.”
Kam rose and walked at his side. She felt nervous and her stomach fluttered. Wes’s response could go one of two ways: he could feel duped or he could understand why she’d gone undercover. She could only hope for the best.
“Have a seat,” Wes invited, taking off his hat. He placed it on the wooden table next to the arm of the cedar swing. The seat was old and worn, but had been lovingly kept in shape with yearly repairs, sanding and a coat of varnish. Soft green cotton cushions lay across the wide swing. Kam sat next to Wes, their elbows grazing one another. “So, what’s the latest gossip from the Elkhorn? I miss being over there.”
“We all miss you,” Kam said, placing her empty cup on the table. “Rudd and Iris speak of you daily, Wes. They really wish you were back, but they do understand your situation.”
“Do you miss me?” Wes held her startled gaze. He missed the hell out of Kam. More than he could ever let her know. Even now, the spot on his cheek where she’d placed a peck still tingled. For a moment, his heart had lifted out of a dark hole. Somehow, even in one of the worst periods of his life, with his father dying, Kam was able to pull him out of his seething emotional cauldron.
“Of course I miss you,” Kam said, surprised. And then she held up her hand. “When I get done telling you what has happened, you might not feel the same way, Wes.”
Surprised, he murmured, “Okay, what’s happened?”
“I’m not who you think I am,” Kam said, hesitating a little before launching into the complete story of why she had appeared at the Elkhorn Ranch. She watched his face, noted his surprise and then shock over her admissions. When she was finished, she drew in a ragged sigh. “So, you see, I’m not who I said I was. I feel guilty about sneaking in and I’ve apologized to everyone about it.”
Rubbing
his jaw, Wes asked, “How did Rudd and Iris handle this news?”
“Wonderfully,” Kam admitted with a slight smile. “They said they understood.”
“You know Rudd was adopted?”
“I do.”
“That’s probably why he understood what you did. What about Allison?”
Grimacing, Kam said, “She’s not happy about it from what I can tell. At dinner one night Allison accused me of being sneaky and underhanded. I agreed with her that my choices weren’t stellar, but that I was too afraid that I’d be rejected out of hand otherwise.”
Wes leaned back and studied Kam. “So, you’re Rudd’s daughter. That’s really funny because I kept looking at you two and thinking you had to be somehow related.”
Kam’s eyes widened. “You did?”
“Sure.” Wes laughed. “Because first of all, you look a bit like him. Secondly, you have the same body build. And best of all, you’re easygoing and sensitive like he is. Did you notice little things like the fact you two liked pickled eggs and beets? I saw you two chowing down on them like there was no tomorrow at that dude-ranch picnic. Not everyone likes pickled food, you know.”
“I didn’t even realize that,” Kam said, amazed at his alertness. What’s more, she was relieved at how well he was handling her news.
“And you both have the same hand mannerisms. Rudd is always throwing up his hands when he gets frustrated. You do, too. Looks like they are definite family traits.”
“You really do notice little things, don’t you?”
Losing his smile, Wes looked out beyond the porch. The grass was lush, the white picket fence freshly painted for the year. Colorful columbines grew in profusion inside of it. Their colors reminded him of a rainbow. “When you have an abusive and violent parent, you become hyper vigilant. In my early twenties, I started having nightmares. My father stopped beating up on me at age seventeen because I fought back. I broke his nose and that ended up with him coming after me. My brother and sister had already left. They couldn’t take the beatings and I don’t blame them. I have an aunt and uncle who live in Cheyenne and they agreed to take them in until they were eighteen.”
Shadows from the Past Page 16
