Chapter 2
Julia would never ever forget the first time she met Sophia. The moment remained imprinted in her deepest memories for years and years to come. It was written in some permanent ink that refused to be washed off. Any attempt to wash it away would mean scarring and bruising the skin like some permanent tattoo, forever declaring one’s love to the entire world. That meeting would change Julia’s very existence and throw her life into a topsy-turvy whirl of gyrating events. Sophia was the embodiment of danger, Sophia was passion, Sophia was glamour and excitement. Sophia was the cruel truth Julia had been seeking all her life.
The very first meeting with Sophia occurred at Julia’s usual coffee shop on a very ordinary day. Julia had just dropped off all three kids at school and was now treating herself to her daily cuppa in the coffee shop, which was extremely close to the children’s school, she habitually frequented. It was part of the routine which she followed rigorously from Monday to Friday, week after week. She would order her regular cappuccino, or at times a cafe latte, and sit quietly at her favourite window seat observing the other mothers seated in pairs and groups at the other tables. Julia always preferred to find a quieter table and sit on her own. Although, she could easily have joined one of the other tables, since she knew many of the other mothers who had children in her children’s classes, she preferred to use this time to charge her batteries with a caffeine boost and psychologically prepare herself for the full day ahead of her.
Often, she would jot down lists of things-to-do, or errands to be done, or shopping to be bought. At other times, she would just simply sip her coffee and observe the other mothers. They all seemed to be just that one step ahead of her. Many in full make up and in fashionable clothes; Julia was not as fashion-conscious or as popular as many of them were. She did not mind wearing last season’s clothing and was certainly no fashion guru. She stuck to the same makeup routine, whenever she found the few extra minutes to put on makeup. Her makeup consisting of no more than a maroon coloured lipstick, eye liner and mascara to make the most of her eyes. They were one of her best features. Ben had always quoted the cliché that her eyes were the window to her soul. Poor Ben he honestly believed that when he lovingly gazed at her eyes he was able to catch a glimpse of her true self, her inner thoughts and spirit. How could he when she couldn’t even do that herself? She remembered when she was a teenager she would stare at herself in the full-length mirror stuck to her wardrobe door. She would commence with her facial features and then move down her body examining every part, as if having seen it for the first time. This ritual gave her a sense of security and somehow kept her focused.
This was a day like so many others. She could recall the noise of the crockery as the barista stacked the coffee cups precariously on top of the commercial coffee machine, the drone of the blenders in unison as countless frappes were prepared and the repetitive clink of the busy cash register together with the jingle of coins as customers paid for their beverages and sweet pastries. The coffee shop always seemed to have the same particular smell. It was a fusion of freshly roasted coffee beans, toast and cinnamon, which was perhaps being emitted from the cinnamon buns in the display counter. Julia had once read that the phantom smell of burnt toast could be a warning sign that a person was about to have a stroke, however, this smell was so overwhelming that it clouded out any such negative thoughts. It was a smell that filled her lungs with a strong powerful aroma and like some desperate junkie she would secretly take in deep breaths as if she wanted to suck in all the goodness that was encapsulated in that poignant aroma.
Julia was staring down at her cappuccino swirling the coffee round in a futile attempt to avoid destroying the cocoa powder heart shape sitting on top of the milky froth. This was interrupted by the feeling that someone had just slid into the chair opposite her. Julia hated having to share her table with strangers, especially those who attempted to carry out small talk, but in such a busy coffee shop this often happened. Julia looked up expecting to see some mother she could recognise but caught herself looking up into the deepest, blue eyes she had ever seen. They were so strikingly blue that Julia immediately decided that they must be contacts. They were so unnaturally blue that they summed up a celestial air. Julia felt embarrassed and quickly averted eye contact and looked back down at her coffee only to bring them back up again. She couldn’t help it, she remembered her mother drumming into her that it was rude to stare, however it was as if an invisible magnet was drawing her to look back. Her second glance revealed that the eyes belonged to a stunning woman.
The woman’s features were incredibly striking. Pale, immaculate, snow white skin, soft pouting lips, a jet black silky mane of long straight hair, tall and slim but curvy in all the right places. She wore a grey trouser suit with a very modern cut. The trousers were tight, but not too tight so as to make them look tacky; on the contrary they just enhanced the slender, toned legs beneath. She wore a bright blue silk shirt underneath which matched her eyes perfectly, and further brought out the full extent of her beauty. Her hands were perfectly manicured with bright red nails. Her makeup complete but not too heavy. Her court shoes were immaculate and looked straight out of the shop. The few accessories she had, a watch, earrings, a solitaire and a single bracelet looked very expensive. Julia couldn’t help but look at her. She looked like a diva, such a stark contrast to the other women in the shop. This woman oozed glamour, sophistication and charm.
The woman smiled back at Julia and apologetically explained that all the tables seem to have been taken and asked whether it was fine for her to share Julia’s table. She spoke with a soft sensual voice. She had a particular accent which Julia couldn’t quite pin. Julia felt her cheeks go crimson and stared down at the table again. It was then that she realised that the woman had a book next to her ice cold Frappuccino. Before she could stop herself she had asked the woman what she was reading and before she even knew it they were deep in conversation discussing novels and writers. Eventually the conversation moved on to other things. Julia discovered that the woman’s name was Sophia. Sophia was five years older than Julia; however Julia was sure that Sophia looked at least ten years younger than her. Initially they seemed to have very little in common except for their love of books. Sophia led a glamorous life. She was single with a high flying career. As editor of a fashion magazine, her job took her all over the country and all over the world. She had dined with famous film stars, interviewed the most popular musicians and had been to the most elite fashion shows. She shopped in designer shops, often during her many business trips and practiced expensive sports such as polo and scuba diving. She was in a different league entirely to Julia. The more Sophia talked about her life the more Julia was mesmerised by her. Julia was totally fascinated by her. The way she spoke, her mannerisms, the way she tossed her hair back from her face, the way her eyes shone brighter when she smiled. Julia had never felt this way. She had never met anyone so charming and charismatic. At that point she could have dropped everything and followed Sophia to the ends of the earth, had she asked. She couldn’t explain it. Here she was a mother to three children, in a stable relationship, a level headed character who had never strayed too far from the norm, falling into this trance. There was no other way to describe it. The effect Sophia had on her was hypnotic, she felt drugged by her and the more she spoke to Sophia the more she felt herself enter this state. It was as if she was experiencing a near-death experience where she could see herself sitting in the coffee shop swirling her cold coffee whilst her soul, her very essence, had just taken flight. She had never experienced anything remotely close to this feeling. She could feel all her senses more acutely. She was totally spell-bound, completely in awe and infatuated by this woman. It brought back the feeling she had experienced when she was dating so many years ago, before she had met Ben, the hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach, only this wasn’t the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, this feeling was oozing into every pore of her body, she felt overwhelmed by it. She
felt her heart beating, her skin prickling and her hair standing on end. She couldn’t explain or understand it. She felt hot and cold concurrently and seemed to have lost any spatial awareness. She could never recall how long their first meeting had lasted. Had they talked for minutes or hours? However, this was the start of a long journey, the start of their special friendship. The door had been opened and the creature had been let loose. There was no going back. Julia couldn’t fathom the change that this meeting would have on her life; however, one thing she knew with certainty, her life would never be the same again. From this day onwards, Sophia had entered her life and whether this was for the best or the worse, she had no control over the chain of events that would solidify their friendship and bind them together. Sophia was here to stay.
Chapter 3
Throughout the autumn and winter Julia would meet Sophia on a daily basis during the week. She would drop off the kids at school and then meet Sophia at their regular coffee shop. Julia would then go home and attempt to make up for lost time by working in a frenzy to catch up with the household chores, the cooking and the errands associated with running a busy household. She now had more than the caffeine to boost her morale to carry on with the days monotonous tasks. Sophia was her energy boost, which kept her running till their next meeting; Sophia always found time to make it to these daily meetings and then would go back to her plush office and remain in the office till late in the evening to make up for the late arrival at work. Their relationship was symbiotic, Julia craved Sophia’s insights and opinions on so much of her life’s goings on and in an unexplainable way Sophia needed Julia. They were so different physically, economically, socially and emotionally. Yet they were the two sides to one coin and as their relationship blossomed they realised that at the heart of the matter they were very much alike. They understood one another on a level that was almost spiritual, and for Julia that feeling of awe and infatuation developed into love in a very short time.
Julia had always frowned upon cheating spouses and resented those individuals who seemed to want the best out of both worlds: yet in some strange way she often felt this relationship was as consuming as if she were cheating on Ben. At times she even mused whether her feelings for Sophia were entirely pure. She had never experienced any sexual relationships with women, however, at times she caught herself sneaking looks at Sophia’s perky breasts evident under the silky shirts she loved to wear, or imagining what Sophia would look like in bed; however, she knew that these thoughts were only spurred on by the intense feeling she had for Sophia. She was jealous when Sophia recounted her latest one-night stand or her amusing stories about her many admirers who constantly wined and dined her. However, Julia realised her jealously was not because she wanted to be the one who shared this intimacy with Sophia; she didn’t need this aspect of intimacy because the relationship they had was already so complete. She knew that it must never transcend to anything physical just for the sake of experimentation, as this might sabotage what they already had.
Julia found herself relying more and more on Sophia. It was as if Sophia was some sort of fortune teller who could transform their daily coffee into some branch of tea leaf reading, but using coffee. Julia would pass by decisions with Sophia first. Sophia was her consultant, advisor and mentor. She found that she could discuss anything with Sophia and as time passed by they would discuss anything ranging from marital issues to her arguments with the kids. Sophia had no husband, nor any kids of her own, but she was a brilliant listener and could give insights to issues in a way that Julia would never have imagined.
At times she felt that it was wrong that she would reach out to Sophia instead of her husband. She would confide in Sophia and share secrets which she didn’t dare mention to Ben. She started off by convincing herself that certain issues were too trivial to relate to Ben and were, after all, about womanly affairs; but this gradually grew so that the sphere of what they would discuss enveloped practically every issue in Julia’s life. She shared her concerns about her aging parents, her concerns about her marital relationship and her fears of how the kids would turn out. Was she cut out to be a mother? At times she had so many doubts and insecurities.
Of course she did mention Sophia to Ben. How couldn’t she? She could hardly carry on a conversation without interspersing it with ‘Sophia told me this’ or ‘Sophia would have done this’. However, she carefully sifted what she related to Ben about Sophia, so that the full extent of her raw feelings for Sophia, were grossly watered down. How could she explain to Ben that she had begun to dread the weekends because this would mean two days without seeing Sophia? How could she possibly explain to Ben that she resented the school holidays because this brought a long gap in their daily meetings? What would he think? He would probably confirm what a large part of her was already thinking: what a bad mother and wife she was by putting Sophia before her husband and children. But she couldn’t stop it, she didn’t want to stop it, it was like some sort of drug, the more she consumed, the stronger its hold upon her. She craved for her friend. She recognised the insanity of it all but was unable to control it. The more their relationship grew stronger, the weaker she became as an individual on her own merit. She was only complete with Sophia. Sophia was like some invisible Siamese twin and she couldn’t function without her. At times, she wondered what would happen if they fought, or if their relationship would turn sour, and the sheer thought was so overwhelmingly terrifying that she could feel palpitations and nausea begin to surge from deep inside her like some terrible tsunami. She would make sure that this would never happen. She could not let it happen. Sophia was her one true friend, and she would ensure that nothing and no one would ever come in between them. She would be there for Sophia, just as Sophia was always there for her.
Chapter 4
As Julia’s friendship with Sophia tightened even further, the daily coffee mornings progressed into other activities. On days when Sophia was on leave, they would go shopping together, Julia trudging after Sophia as she introduced her to designer brands. Sophia leaving the shops with armfuls of bags and Julia empty handed having been put off by the exorbitant price tags. She could never afford such luxury, and even if she did, she didn’t have the confidence Sophia had nor the figure to wear most of the clothes Sophia purchased. Figure-hugging dresses which just about covered her buttocks, sky-high platform stilettos, mid-drift revealing tops and low-cut tops which accentuated Sophia’s ample bosom. Sophia loved style and comfort; she carefully selected materials which felt sexy and chic, from soft cashmere to silk and satin. Her accessories did not fall short: the bags, scarves and jewellery she wore were expensive, classy and very tasteful.
On such days Julia often covered up her shopping expeditions and cleverly contorted facts from Ben to minimise the time she was spending with Sophia. Ben would not have approved of his wife gallivanting around the shopping malls all day. At times these expeditions centred on Julia’s world and Sophia would accompany Julia to school soirees and get-togethers. In time, Sophia was also introduced to her children and it was not the first time that Sophia would accompany Julia to collect the children from after school activities, parties or sleep-overs. Their time together was no longer limited to mid-week meetings and often spilled out into the weekends, or holidays, although, Julia did her best to keep these expeditions in check, especially from Ben’s watchful eyes as he often commented that she was spending too much time with Sophia.
The more Sophia entered her life, the more these two women relied on each other. Sophia seemed to relish with the idea of having a friend who worshipped her every move, whilst Julia was totally bewitched by Sophia. Sophia’s charm, her self-assurance and her beauty were totally alien to anything Julia had ever known or experienced. They were both so distinct to each other and yet so needful of each other. Their polarity was fiercely magnetic and swept everything and everyone else out of sight. Julia’s outlook on life changed overnight, she was definitely more positive than she had ever been; she was on a h
igh for most of the day, fed by Sophia’s powerful magnetism. The unassuming moth fluttering erratically around the candle was itself transforming into a butterfly.
As the relationship deepened, Julia’s marital relationship and family obligations suffered. She would rush through the chores in an attempt to find more time to spend with Sophia. Home-baked cakes were replaced with ready-made pastries, she began to car-pool to drop off and collect the kids from school so as to free up some mornings, whereas before she used to spend a morning a week at the grocery store looking for bargains whilst at the same time selecting quality and organic produce; she now shopped online and had it delivered to cut down on time. The shopping and to-do-lists which she had religiously prepared during her many solo coffee outings after having dropped off the kids at school were now done whilst stuck in the morning traffic. She had become excellent at multi-tasking. She was now fitting most of what she had done before in half the time, albeit with a sharp decline in the quality of the jobs done. This was backed up by a constant litany of lies and deceit. At first, she would feel guilty when Ben arrived home from work and would complement her on the lovely aroma coming from the kitchen. He had always complemented her culinary skills and she had always prided herself in cooking healthy, home-made food. These dishes had now changed to a vast array of ready cooked meals. But how could she tell Ben that instead of having spent a morning at home leaving the stew to simmer for hours until it was tender and juicy, she had rushed home after yet another outing with Sophia and had conjured up this ready-made meal in under ten minutes. She was always extremely careful to stock such food at the back of the freezers and cupboards and discard the open packaging straight into the outside bin at the back of their garden to avoid getting caught. Eventually, she stopped feeling guilty and tried to convince herself that in reality a happy mum was a happy household and that indirectly it was beneficial for the whole family, that Julia’s friendship with Sophia was thriving.
Julia's Secret Page 2
