by Elle Harte
“Blayne, where are you going?” I heard him calling out for me, but I didn’t stop.
The music and the applause got louder the closer I got to the stage. I started unbuttoning my shirt, thankful for the camisole I was wearing inside. I found the first guy holding a drink and I smiled at him as I took his drink. He didn’t say a word and looked on, holding me with his gaze. He was cute and when I returned his glass, he smiled. I gestured to the floor where the previous couple is getting off by now. “Would you like to do this with me?” I asked the cute guy and he smiled even wider.
“I’m always up for it,” he said.
I tried to smile. “Lead the way.”
I turned to look at the floor and I realized I was more drunk than I cared to admit. Someone grabbed my arm to stop me. “Blayne,” I heard the silent fury in Chase voice. “Stop this!”
I yanked my arm away from his grip. “You think you’re hot, don’t you? Well I’m going to show you what it feels like to be so full of yourself. I’m going to stand in the middle of the floor and the eyes of every sad pathetic loser in here will be on me! How’s that for boring?”
“Blayne…” he tried to get a hold of me but I was quick at slipping away.
This time, when I turned, I didn’t look back.
The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the same stage, the burning glow of lights directed on me and there was the same guy standing there, and he was asking me what I would like to do. That’s when I realized I was making a mistake. Maybe Chase was right and he wasn’t here because he was sleeping around. I had trouble believing anything since Nick broke my heart, but was that me now? Paranoid and distrustful? Was I going to push everyone away because one guy wronged me?
“Well?” the cute guy asked. “Have you decided or what?”
I looked at him and he was good looking, attractive in every way, muscled physique, and everything. But I didn’t want him.
The only guy I still really wanted, even right now was that stupid jerk standing there in the corner who I just caught with some dumb bitch with a wig, and I had to teach him a lesson. I had to show him, that if he tried to pull this kind of shit or called me boring, there would be consequences. You couldn’t tell someone you were bad in bed and get away with it! He needed to see I was desirable. This guy standing in front of me was proof of that. But you called him a liar. And a cheat.
You know he didn’t mean it. You know no one can fake the chemistry you had in bed with him. He said that because he was hurt. And angry. Just like you.
Perhaps this was right.
This club, these crude, horny men, who wanted to fuck. They were all looking at me and I was getting all kinds of glares, stares and then people started yelling and they were urging me on now because I was taking a lot of time thinking. Maybe this was what men were capable of, maybe they didn’t really want relationships and they messed up when they had one. For a minute, I wanted to be that person who would enjoy a set up like this one. But I know that even if I did it as part of a drunken mistake, it wouldn’t last for me. The shouts were getting louder and the audience demanded a performance. The host, dressed in leather essentials, came toward me and because he knew I might need help, he brought me a drink. I almost took it from his hand when I felt Chase’s fingers on my arm again. He was standing right there, under the light on the floor with me.
“Are you done?” he asked. The anger hadn’t left his face. “Or are you going to see this through?”
I looked around at the audience. Being bold may have sounded like a good idea at the time but now it was stupid. Suddenly, I was thankful for Chase. I wasn’t sure what I would have ended up doing if it wasn’t for him. But still, I was exasperated.
“You don’t understand the concept of backing off, do you?” someone said and I realized it was me. What was wrong with me? Was I on auto pilot? I had to stop, accept the fact that I needed help. His help.
Chase was watching me with something that was a mix of anger, frustration, and love. “Please,” he said. “You made your point. Let’s get off the floor and talk. If you still feel like you want to take your clothes off in front of these people, then I won’t stop you. I’m here to make sure that’s what you really want.”
The host was getting annoyed by now and asking me if this was going to happen because other people were in line, waiting. I didn’t think I wanted to keep them waiting any more. I broke away from Chase’s grip and stormed off the floor this time, kept walking, again, till I was outside, away from that world. I didn’t care that the crowd was not pleased and I didn’t care that I made a fool of myself again. Tears came to my eyes and I didn’t stop them. I could hear Chase walking up to me.
“What the hell was that Blayne?”
“What? Not bold and dangerous enough for you?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “But I didn’t mean any of that, I was just pissed off!”
“Right.”
“You called me a liar, Blayne! You said I was a pervert! When I hadn’t done anything. Sydney is my friend. Everyone in the club can confirm that for you. I didn’t lie to you and I had no intention of cheating on you.”
I looked into his eyes and I knew he meant it. But what I didn’t know is if people were capable of being truthful. “Why didn’t you tell me about the club?” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?”
“Blayne,” he said. “We’ve barely been going out for a month. I didn’t want to freak you out. That’s why I didn’t tell you about the club. And Sydney, she just never came up.”
“You told me all those intimate things. You could have told me this!”
“Tell me honestly,” Chase said. “What was your first impression when you saw that scene? You were shocked, and you didn’t like it one bit. You were out of your element.”
“I won’t deny that. So yes, I was shocked for like five damn minutes Chase! And that’s only because this whole thing was unexpected. But I got over it!”
Wow. That flew right off my tongue, didn’t it? Chase was staring at me and looking more surprised than I felt.
His eyes were full of some strange emotion I didn’t quite understand. It was more than love, a lot more than plain lust. “Blayne, you don’t have to say something like that to prove something to me.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do here.”
He looked like he didn’t believe it for a second and then he inched closer to me. “I’m sorry about all the stuff I said about our lovemaking,” he said. “I was angry. I love what we have. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t get off on it. I love everything about you, Kitten. You need to trust me. The only person I want to fuck is you.”
I must have been blushing. Even the alcohol inside my system couldn’t stop that from happening. I was giving away a secret but only because I wanted to make sure he didn’t get the wrong impression. I wanted to make sure he realized that I wasn’t going to judge him for having certain tastes, even if they were new to me. I wanted him to be comfortable with me, just as I always felt comfortable with him.
“I don’t like admitting this, but it’s true,” I said. “It’s not the first time I’ve fantasized about us. But I just…I don’t know, for me sex can never be something that I do with a stranger. For me, this has to be something…”
“Intimate,” he finished for me.
He pulled me in closer and kissed my forehead. It was such a sweet gesture most of my anger curiously subsided. Then he tilted my head up and found some leftover tears on my cheeks that he promptly wiped away with his fingers. His touch was so warm, so loving and so special I couldn’t help but look into his eyes again. “I don’t know what I want,” I said at last. “I am having some mixed feelings here.”
“Listen, I don’t expect you to get over your past right away! There’s nothing to freak out about. We can start small.”
“How small?”
“Dinner and a date small.”
Somehow, I couldn’t help but grin.
“
We won’t do anything,” he said. “We’ll just have a good time. I’d never do anything to hurt you and I’d never do anything that you’re not comfortable with. You know that, right? Knowing that you’re mine, that you’re devoted to me, that’s what matters most.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Chase’s hand reached mine. “I want you Blayne,” he said. “I want you like I have never wanted anyone in my life. And I won’t stop until you want me the same way.”
I couldn’t help that his words made a lot of sense. “Do you have to go back in there?”
“Sydney’s father died recently,” Chase explained. “She needed money. I was the only person she could ask. She’s never asked me for help before. I couldn’t refuse. But if you have a problem with me going in there—”
“No,” I blurted out. “No! You should go. It’s fine. Really.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course.”
Chase cupped my face with his hand. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t know, I just feel…strange.”
“Blayne,” he said, a grave seriousness in his voice. “Do you want to be with me?”
I looked up at his face, and I knew the answer to that. “Yes.”
“Then I guess you’ve made a choice, haven’t you?”
“This feels more like a compulsion, than something I’m choosing.”
“That’s called love Blayne,” he said.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to use that word?”
“Maybe it is. But it doesn’t change the way I feel.”
“What if you’re an axe murderer and I don’t even know it!”
Chase grinned. “You do realize there’s no basement in the loft?”
“So, what I should go out with you because you don’t have a headless body hanging in your basement?”
He took my hand to his lips and kissed it. “You should go out with me because you are just as fucking hooked to me as I am to you.”
“Is everything okay, Blayne?” Chloe said and jolted me out of my thoughts.
“Chloe,” I said, wiping off the few remainder tears. “You’re here.”
“Do you want me to go back inside?” she asked.
“No,” I said, trying to smile. “No, we should head home now.”
“If you want to stay,” she said. “You should. I can go home and have wine on my own for one night.”
“Actually,” I said, walking over to her. “Chase has to go. Right?”
“Right,” Chase said.
“I’ll see you,” I said to him.
He looked a little lost. “I’ll talk to Sydney and then go back to work. My phone is on.”
“Okay,” I nodded and then Chloe and I walked toward Jeremy’s car and Chloe called him. While we were waiting for them to arrive, Chloe started with her questioning. “So?” she said. “What was that all about?”
“She’s a friend,” I explained. “He was here to help her out.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I just am.”
“Do you want to find out more about him?” Chloe asked. “I’m sure Jeremy can help.”
“No,” I said. “I’d rather find out on my own. Besides, I know he’s not hiding anything. He’s not Nick, I know that now. I think I just saw the two of them, and assumed the worst.”
“Anyone would have,” she said. “To be honest, I still don’t believe it.”
“But we have to.”
“If you say so.”
“We’re fine,” I said, more to myself than to her.
My phone rang.
It was Chase so I picked it up.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hey.”
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, Chase.”
“If you don’t then I’ll feel like you haven’t gotten over this,” he said.
“That’s not true.”
“Then prove it,” Chase said. “I’ll come pick you up and we’ll do the breakfast ritual Kira has been avoiding for the past couple of weeks.”
“That’s because of us,” I said. “I think she’s trying not to waste our time.”
“So, can I pick you up from Chloe’s place?”
“Sure.”
“Great.”
“Yeah.”
“Blayne?”
“Yes?”
“You looked hot,” he said. “So hot I wanted to rip those clothes right off you.”
I couldn’t help grinning despite myself. “I’ll try to take that as a compliment.”
“The next time I see you,” he said. “Those clothes won’t be there.”
“We’ll see about that,” I said and pushed the end button.
“What are you grinning about?” Chloe asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “Just nothing.”
Chase
It wasn’t hard finding Sydney’s room once I was inside the club.
I knocked.
Sydney’s voice from inside said, “It’s open.”
I went in and closed the door behind me. She was sitting on one side of the bed, still wearing that silly blonde wig. “Everything okay?”
I loosened my tie and sat on the bed, facing her. “She’s going home.”
“I didn’t know she would be here,” Sydney said. “Was she here looking for you?”
“Some friends brought her here. I think it was just a coincidence.”
“Well it was a terrible coincidence,” she said. “I thought for sure she was going to recognize me.”
“She didn’t,” I said. “I doubt she even got a proper look at your face.”
“That’s good. For now.”
“Sydney,” I said. “I don’t think I’ll be coming here. And I’m dating her now.”
“Why’re you telling me this?”
“Well,” I said. “I don’t want her to see you.”
“Chase,” she said. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get scarce.”
“Thanks.”
Sydney nodded. “You’re really serious about her.”
“I guess.”
“I’m happy for you.” There was no resentment on her face, no mixed feelings. She was being genuine. I know how hard that must have been for her but she was still trying to be strong. I reached into my jacket pocket for an envelope that I handed to her. “Here,” I said. “It’s all in here.”
She took it from me. “I’ll pay you back.”
I stood. “Don’t insult me or this friendship by saying that,” I said. “I just wish I met you sooner. You never told me how bad it was. I thought you wanted to see me for some other reason.”
“What? To fuck you one last time?” She said this with a seductive lilt in her voice.
I smiled. “Something like that.”
“Well it’s still early,” she said, getting on her knees. “We can fuck and no one has to know.”
I stood there for a second, looking at that face that I used to feel comfortable with once. I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Then broke away. “Goodnight, Syd.”
She had tears in her eyes.
But there was nothing I could do about that.
So, I did the next best thing and started to leave. “I’m sorry about your Dad,” I said when I was holding the door open. She smiled, and I knew that it was fake.
There was nothing I could do about that either.
This was a past life that was over now. Even most of the loose ends had been tied. I wasn’t this guy anymore, I didn’t want to sleep around with random women and have no meaning in my life. None of this excited me. If it wasn’t for Sydney, I wouldn’t have bothered coming to this place. Just coming to the club felt like cheating. I’d never felt that way before. But I did and I liked it. I couldn’t wait to perfect my rhythm with the one woman who could change it. The one person who has given my life meaning.
And I never want to let her go.
Blayne
Others will say you are too idealistic
.
Chase got on top of me and took off his shirt.
“I thought we were taking Kira out to breakfast,” I reminded him. Kira was staying over at a friend’s place so the loft was empty.
“We’re still going to do that,” Chase said, hurriedly taking off his pants and helping me take off my clothes until we were both lying naked on his bed. “After,” he winked.
He stood on his knees on the bed, watching me. “Do you want to please me?” he said.
I ran a hand down his chest, over his navel.
He bent to lick my nipples one by one, until they were erect, taking his time going from one to the other. I instinctively pulled him closer to myself. He broke off only to kiss me on the mouth and then went back to the teasingly pleasurable movements, doing everything to drive me out of my mind.
“God, Chase!”
I felt his tongue on my navel and he touched one hand to my wetness, rubbing it and his mouth was still pleasuring my breasts and their pink nubs which had become so erect they were almost hurting. His fingers were working their magic in my special place, causing sensations that were beyond words. It was almost as though my body was solely under his spell, and the only pleasure they desired was the one associated with him. Soon, his fingers had me moaning so loud, I was worried someone might hear us. But Chase didn’t care. He kept his pace, his fingers and the tongue going over my nipples and the pleasure reached a point where he made me come as easily as he always did.
I lifted myself up. It was his turn to get the same kind of pleasure that I had just experienced. He lay on the bed and I took him in my mouth, grabbing the shaft and tugging at it, circling the tip with my tongue, until he was breathing hard. His cock was wet with my saliva, and I could taste him in my mouth. I lowered my head, took as much of him as possible and he guided my head into a smooth, steady motion. Soon, I knew he was at the same height of pleasure as me and he was erect and ready and I helped put a condom on him.
