by Jill Nojack
When I'm a man again, I retest my magical bond and I'm still stuck to the spot. I dart a glance toward the woods, hoping to see Gillian bringing her passenger along as reinforcements, but there's no one there.
"Who are you, really?" I demand, stalling her, even though I know the answer. "You're not Cassie, and I don't think you're even Eunice."
She throws her head back and laughs like a silent movie villain. She'll twirl her moustache and tie me to the railroad tracks in the next scene, I bet. "My true name is Anat. I suppose it's time that we were properly introduced, given our intimate history. I'm a goddess, Tom—what better being for you to serve all those years then me? And soon, your delicious body will serve a god. Your spirit, of course, will have to be suppressed for that. Too bad. So sad. I'll miss our time together." She walks a circle around me as she talks and leans into my ear from behind for her last words. "But I'll let Ba'al know about the things you did that I liked." Her tone is meant to be seductive, I'm sure. But to me, it just sounds needy and pathetic.
"Some goddess. You have to enslave a man to keep a lover. And when you can't keep that one, you have to drag one out of his tomb."
She places a hand on each of my shoulders. Her nails dig into the bare skin. "You were never my lover. You were just a toy."
"I don't think so. I think you were lonely. I think no one loves you. I think no one ever has."
Pressure slams down on me from her palms, pushing me toward the ground until I lay flat, my lungs compressed between the ground and the force. I gasp for air, but she's crushing the breath out of me. If she keeps it up, there'll be nothing left of me to use. I'd take that over being her lover's surrogate, but not before I free Cassie.
I keep fighting my invisible bonds with the strength I take from Cassie's face smiling at me in the eyes of my heart.
My vision goes spotty.
And then—that's Gillian's voice I hear behind me. The voice of the woman I'd loved and wronged, but with something new hidden in those familiar tones. Something frightening.
"Release him, Anat. You've played with him long enough. He isn't yours anymore."
Anat's head snaps around to look at her challenger. She laughs, but the pressure holding me down recedes and I sit up again, gasping, turning toward the sound of that welcome voice.
Anat runs toward her full tilt, her head down like a battering ram.
Gillian disappears and reappears behind her, to stand in front of me, shielding me. "No, Anat. This one will leave with me. You have no right to him."
She reaches into the folds of her robe and removes the box we'd hidden beneath the art gallery. She opens the lid.
"Don't you see: I have something you want. I'll trade you—your Ab Khr for this man's soul. Or are you willing to lose yours to keep his?"
An image of Anat's true self begins to form as an outline around Cassie, more and more solid in appearance as the seconds tick past. Her true eyes, transparent but open in front of Cassie's, narrow to slits. "Where? How did you get it?" Anat's voice goes up the scale, ringing with alarm.
"It was easy to steal. You are simple. Predictable." She walks to the side, drawing Anat's attention away from me. She reads the words on the back of the box. Anat's shadow form is pulled toward Gillian and away from Cassie. Anat pulls back against the power that tugs her like a dog on a leash, but the pull is too strong.
"I don't want to inhabit you, you crone!" Anat rages as she's drawn toward Gillian, fighting it all the way.
I transform myself while she's distracted, making myself as small a target as possible, and when I'm done, the hairs in Cat's coat rise with the blowback of the magical charge. I test my ability to move from the spot where I'm stuck and find the spell has dissipated now that Anat is occupied by her own troubles.
As Anat's essence is drawn away, Cassie's body drops to the ground. I can tell there are still pieces of Anat's essence sticking to it—the aura it projects is red and angry. Then, the trailing wisps of energy let go when she's near enough Gillian's body to enter.
But Gillian is already possessed. Anat's entry is blocked.
Her apparition flares, howling. Anat has nowhere to go.
I can't stand here and watch when I need to act. I run to Cassie and butt her with the top of my head. She's unresponsive. I put Cat's sensitive nose near hers, and her breath warms it. Still alive.
I want to shift and carry her out of here, but I worry it will draw Anat's attention our way. I don't know if she can force her way back into a body once she's out, and I don't want to find out. Cat sits sentinel, ready for Anat if she comes.
On the battlefield, only twenty feet away, the Goddess matches Anat, making her true form visible now. "There are those who give their bodies willingly to a goddess when that goddess will treat it with respect and return it unharmed. But you don't know that, do you? You're no goddess at all, you have no ability to bring enlightenment or goodness to those who are loyal to you. No, as Ba'al always said of us—Astarte is the goddess, but Anat is a demon. Why do you think he allowed himself to be freed to the universe after I made that choice myself? And why do you think he imprisoned your chosen maiden so she could not come to you—did you never question why she did not return so that you could be reborn?"
Anat's apparition is fading now, no longer hanging together in a semi-solid shape. Wispy trails of it disperse into the air. "Liar! Ba'al always preferred me over you! Always!"
The essence that surrounds and protects Gillian grows, towering over her. The demon grows in height to match her, increasingly transparent the more she extends herself.
"It's time to let go, Anat. I love you, despite your flaws. You are my sister. Come join me."
"No!" She screams and turns, heading for Cassie again. As Cat, I move just as swiftly, leaping to her, tearing with both claws, and a slice of the demon's essence shreds beneath them. Anat reaches out with one filmy hand and casually snaps his neck.
Cat dies without pain after the quick dispatch of his nervous system, his disconnected brain first flaring to bright light then dimming as life leaves him. How many lives left? One. He still has one. I'll be safe…I'm sure I'm safe.
Blackness. Then my living human body unfolds from his dead one. I am there for only a moment when the shift begins again, pulling me back to the final life of the living Cat.
When Cat comes back, Anat is standing over Cassie, digging her hands in at her chest, slowly making progress pushing her essence back in.
"Anat!" her sister calls. "Move away from her. You can't take a human who's unwilling. You know that. She hasn't read your words this time. I will destroy the Ab Khr."
Anat removes her hands and turns, then laughs. "And yet you're not holding it anymore, are you, sister?"
And she's right, the box is at Gillian's feet. When did she set it down? What went on when I was gone?
Anat holds out her hands, and a silver tendril snakes out as another wraps itself swiftly around Gillian's arms, keeping her from reaching out to keep the box safe.
No way, not the old tractor beam trick. I leap as a tiny but confident panther, saying my shift words as I go, and land as Tom. I beat the beam by seconds. I open the box, snatch the heart, and fling the box away. As it flies, I tear at the dried out clump of nasty goddess gristle with both hands. It deteriorates quickly as I rip and rend.
Anat howls as she fades to a mass of smoke, her keening turning into the sound of the wind. At the side of the clearing, a dog howls in sympathy.
The smoke-thing swirls, orienting itself toward the edge of the clearing, where the large, black dog stands, muzzle in the air. It whooshes toward the howl, dead leaves swirling after. I brush my hands together rapidly. The powdery remnants of the heart that allowed her to move from body to body are picked up by the wind and dispersed.
If she made it to that dog, she better be stuck there.
***
The Goddess goes when the demon does. Gillian slumps to the ground, then sits up, looking shaken, but she app
ears to be okay other than that. I cradle the still unconscious Cassie as I call to her. "I can't go after her. I'm sorry. I can't leave Cass."
"She's not hurting us now. No reason to follow her."
I press my lips to Cassie's forehead and smooth her hair with one hand, willing her to come all the way back to me.
I address Gilly but I don't take my eyes off Cassie's face. "Is the Goddess…"
"Yes, she's gone. She doesn't like to directly interfere, but she's been watching Anat for a long time…"
Gillian stands up and takes off her black robe, handing it to me. She wears a flowing white cotton dress beneath. "Cover yourself, and let's see about our girl."
I put the robe on, and it barely covers my knees.
Gillian holds Cassie's wrist for a moment. "Strong pulse. That's a good sign." She pulls the athame from behind her back where it had been shoved into her belt. "I hate to ask it, but you do need to leave her now. Take this to the others. Cut the circle so they can exit safely and not set loose any more negative magic today. Nat needs to take a look at Cass as soon as possible so we can get her to the house or the hospital, one of the two. I'd do it myself so you could stay, but the Goddess asked something of me before she left. I think we owe her, don't you?"
I take the knife reluctantly, press my forehead against Cassie's as a promise, and I'm on my way. I don't want to leave her like this, but Natalie can help her more than I can now.
I come back from the twilight: I no longer feel the pressure of that other soul thrusting me into the farthest corner of my own body. Did they put Anat to sleep again? Where's Tom? I try to sit up, but I'm too weak to move much of anything. My body feels heavy, weighed down.
Then I see Gillian through a field of dark, shifting spots. She reaches her hand out tentatively to touch the lid of a box. Omigod! No! I want to yell, stop her from being taken.
She opens the lid. Through the spots, I see the shuddering lump inside it. No way. Disembodied hearts don't beat. She raises it over her head, looking up to the sky and holding it at the end of her outstretched arms, speaking quietly. "Thank you, Goddess, for your strength. I will always come to you in perfect love and perfect trust." At least my ears are working okay even though my eyes are wonky.
She continues talking, something about release and freedom from earthly bonds. Then, sparks leap from the heart into the night, twisting and breaking into smaller particles until they disperse and she's holding just a dried lump of gristle. She pulls one hand into a fist around it. When she opens her hand to the breeze, the particles blow away.
Whatever that was? Ick.
I'm starting to feel in control of myself again. There's not a trace of that evil nutjob in here. I try my voice.
"Gillian?" It's weak and unsure, but it's totally my voice again, not someone else's.
Gillian wipes her hands on her dress, leaving long dirty trails, before she scrambles to me across the grass and pulls me into a giant hug. "Oh Goddess, I wish I hadn't sent Tom to get the others. He should be here."
"What was that? What you did?"
"Tying up loose ends, sweetheart. Putting a god back where he belongs. I think it's clear that gods and goddesses should never inhabit the same world with mortals."
She folds me into her arms for a long time.
I rush along as fast as I can go in a long robe with bare feet. I need to start planning my wardrobe better. Maybe I could tuck a pair of jockey shorts around my collar in preparation for an unanticipated need to shift. Shoes would still be a problem, though. And underpants hanging from a cat's neck? No, nobody will think that's strange, I'm sure.
I'm at the old ritual grounds within minutes.
"Where's north?" I ask.
"Natalie points in a line from the altar to a tree.
I sight on the tree and walk in toward the circle until Nat says, "There. The outside radius."
I cut the first circle with the athame, then walk in two paces and cut the next, then another two steps to cut the third.
"So, what just ran past here? Big dog, red eyes? Stopped and growled? I think it was trying to bully us into leaving the circle." Natalie holds out her hand for the knife.
I hand it to her as I reply. "Glowing red eyes?"
"I'd definitely say they were glowing," Robert answers.
Oh hell. It can't just be over. Of course not. "I'm not sure. It could be Anat. I mean, oh hell, obviously, it's Anat. But we got her out of Cassie, and I destroyed the heart. The plan worked."
Nat motions with her head to the crystal ball sitting on the altar. "We saw a lot of it in there, courtesy of the Goddess. Must have missed the part where you unleashed a doggy-demon on Giles."
"We'll deal with it when we deal with it. But both Cassie and Gillian are safe."
Robert claps me on the back. "Good to hear. Yes, very, very good to hear."
I relax when I realize it really is over. "I don't know how to repay all of you," I say, as I look around at the small group of witches.
"Give us a striptease at my next birthday celebration, and we'll call it even," Nat says, grinning. The other lady witches titter.
"If that's what it takes, Nat, you got it."
I'm impatient to get back to Cassie, but the oldsters can't move at my pace. I think about ditching them to dash back to be with her, but after all they've done for me, leaving them in the middle of the woods with what might be a possessed demon dog doesn't sit right with me. The conscience I've gotten back since I started spending more time as a man than as a cat can be a real bear. I hold myself back, but inside I'm hyped to break into a run to be with Cassie.
It feels like forever before I get a glimpse through the thinning trees of Cassie sitting up in the grass with Gillian, Gillian's arms wrapped around her, her head on Gillian's shoulder.
I can't hold back any longer. The trailing witches will still be within shouting distance if I take off. I break into a run, ignoring the sticks and stones that tear at my bare feet. I'll worry about them later. That's my girl over there. She's back. It's time to take her home.
Cassie must have heard me pounding toward her. Her head lifts from Gillian's comforting shoulder, swiveling toward me, an expression of alarm on her face. She laughs and cries all at once when she sees it's only me.
She stands to come to meet me, and I catch her just as her knees give out beneath her. I support her with my enfolding hug as our lips meet and the world goes away around us. She smells of Eunice's perfume, but I know the gentle touch of her mouth on mine. Eunice had no concept of gentle. This is my loving Cassie.
Reluctantly, I leave her lips to whisper in her ear, "I love you. Goddess knows, I love you."
Then we're both crying and laughing, and we suddenly remember we have an audience when Robert clears his throat. "It's awkward breaking this up, but we need to head home. Hell of a night." He shakes his head and turns away, repeating, "Hell of a night."
***
"You don't have to carry me. I'm still weak, but I can walk," Cassie says with a yawn.
I kiss her on the top of the head as blue sparks leap from Gillian's fingers to unlock the front door of the shop. "Do you really think I would let go of you right now?"
Gillian says, "Night, you two," then walks back to Robert's waiting SUV. I nod to her, and then flash an eyebrow-lift, chin-thrust goodbye to Robert and Natalie. I get nods back. Cassie's head crashes against my shoulder. She's only semi-conscious now.
There's no way I'm sleeping tonight. I'll just stay up and watch her breathe.
***
Three days after I carried Cassie up to our bed, I lean across the counter to plant a kiss on the tip of the world's cutest nose. "Swept, stocked, and ready to open, Miss Proprietor."
Cassie giggles. "That's Ms. Proprietor to you, Mr. I-Need-To-Get-With-The-Times. So, get that door unlocked, minion. Don't just stand around wasting time kissing people's noses."
I unlock and prop the door to let the perfect summer day find its way inside. It isn't long
before Natalie bustles in. Right on time to pick up her facial treatment. We lean into each other for a hug, and Cassie beams at her.
"One Magic Youth Masque coming up, Nat." She reaches under the counter where the day's stock of perishable items is stored in the small fridge, then sets the jar of cream on the counter.
"You know, Nat, before you go with that…well, Tom and I have discussed this…" She looks to me, and I realize she's going to tell Natalie what's in the masque. I look around, trying to figure out the safest place to duck out of the way. "Well, some of the ingredients in your masque are kind of…kind of…"
"Ground fetal pig, that kind of thing, you mean?" She waves her hand, dismissive. "I analyzed the very first batch and sorted that out years ago. But you see my skin, don't you? Smooth as a fetal pig's behind. If I could make it myself, I would. But the magic Eunice added, that's something else entirely. I've tried, but I can't replicate it. It's just not one I have a talent for. I am more than glad that you do."
"Oh. In that case, no problem. Same time next week?"
"Of course, dear." She picks up her bag and says, "And the two of you, you're still coming to our little adventurer's club at Robert's tonight?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," I reply. "Gillian would hex the both of us. And anyway, I'm doing the cooking."
"Excellent. See you there. And Tom, my birthday's coming up next month. I expect you to be at your fittest."
I roll my eyes in acknowledgment.
"What was that about?" Cassie asks after Nat leaves.
"Just a private joke. At least, I hope it's a joke." She couldn't possibly hold me to the promise to strip, could she? I slip behind the counter and give Cassie's perfect backside a pat. "About time you got out of here for work, isn't it?"
"Yep." She gives me a quick peck on the mouth and heads for the door. "Dash gets his panties in a bundle when I'm late."
I walk to the door and watch her walk down the street to the Gallery.
