Chapter 18
Elah woke before the sun came up and snuck into the armoury to get a bow. She looked around and saw a nice one hanging on a rack and felt a hint of excitement building inside her. She gently ran her fingers over it, feeling every turn and twist in the wood. It was nice, very nice.
Once she picked up it, she knew it was the one for her, it was nice and light and to her surprise it was the right size for her, she hadn't realized how much she had grown. She then found some armour and put it on, ensuring to push her hair under the helmet, hiding her long golden hair.
Elah then went outside and hid behind some bushes and waited. When she saw the men collecting their equipment she waited for River and followed him through the thick forest.
Once she came to stand in front of large grassy field, she had to hold her breath to stop herself from gasping loudly. As her heart began beating faster she scanned the field, it was empty but she was able to imagine what had happened here in the previous days.
A couple of men bumped her as they walked passed, causing her to refocus, she couldn’t turn back now, they would find out about her and that might be worse then her fate on the battle field. Forcing herself to move, she followed the men and joined them in line at the edge of a large field.
She listened to River as he gave instruction to his men. As River approached her end of the line she turned her head slightly to hide her face, she worried even under all the armour she was wearing, he would still be able to recognise her. While she had her head turned, she scanned the line and tried to look at some of the men’s faces, she could mostly only see their eyes and saw fear in them but it wasn’t until she looked across the field to see a large number of men standing on the other side dressed in black armour, that fear really gripped her.
Not listening to what was going on, she had to be startled out of thought as the men started to move forward, pushing her closer to a fate she wasn't sure she was ready for. As she walked, Elah looked down and noticed her hands were shaking and her whole body was numb with fear. Every step closer to the other men made her shake harder and she had to bite her lower lip to stop herself from cursing. She couldn't believe how stupid she was to think this was a good idea.
The sound of metal on the ground and the smell of men sweating filled the air quickly. How well the men kept in their formation and how in tune the men were with each other surprised Elah and she tried her best to keep up.
At about the half way mark Elah made herself focus on River and nothing else. He was the reason she had come, she needed to protect him and didn’t want to loose him, like she did her father. If she didn't focus on him, she knew she might make a run for it and that would make it all for nothing.
The thought of her father made her feel more determined then ever. She had to protect her family and sitting back at the medical tent was not going to help, at least not in her mind. She hated siting in that tent, wondering what was going on and if River would be one of the many men she saw that day or never saw again.
As the two groups met, the sound of metal hitting metal became deafening. Elah gripped her bow hard and aimed it at one of the dark fae. He was wearing black armour like the others and towered over her small frame. The mere look of him made her heart pound harder against her chest.
She paused not sure if she could even do it. She didn’t take this part of her plan into consideration, what if she couldn’t let her arrow fly, just like she couldn’t do it in the forest to kill a roo. She might be the one not making it back, disappointing her family.
Taking a deep breath, she whispered “For River” to herself and focused, she had to pretend the dark fae was a target. She breathed in as she aimed and breathed out as she let the arrow fly, hitting the dark fae in the neck causing him to hit the ground hard.
She gasped as she didn’t think she could do it but her heart still sank as she looked at the dark fae laying on the ground in front of her. He wasn’t moving and she started to stare at him, what had she done? Taking a deep breath, she had to refocus and had to look away and pretend he wasn’t there anymore, in fact she had to pretend that none of them were there and that she was standing in front of the targets at home.
She looked around and everyone was busy controlling their weapons and trying to stay alive. The metallic smell of blood filled the air and it wasn’t until another light fae bumped into her, killing a dark fae that was about to kill her, that she snapped out of her daze and started blindly shooting as many dark fae as she could, telling herself she was back home with Varg shooting at targets over and over again. It wasn’t about anything else but survival and she started to panic when she realised she had lost track of River.
Cursing under her breath, Elah scanned the area. There were men everywhere fighting, the only difference was the colour of their armour. It was like they were all one, fighting for a reason Elah wasn't sure about.
Desperation started filling her heart as she feared for River’s life. Was he one of the many laying lifelessly on the ground? She hated the thought but couldn't push it from her mind.
As she scanned, she noticed a large dark fae ran at her, she let an arrow go hitting him in the chest but he kept coming, his armour was too strong for her arrow. Her eyes widened as panic washed over her, he was meant to fall but he didn't and now he was getting closer. She knew her weapon was not suitable for short range fighting and her hand-to-hand skills were practically non existent.
Letting out a little squeal, she tried to let another arrow fly but didn’t get an arrow out in time and ended up pulling the dagger from her side pouch. She gripped the dagger hard, as if it was her life, as he connected with her, easily pushing her back. She pushed back as hard as she could but he was stronger than her and her whole body started to crumble under his strength.
She knew that she was lucky that he hadn't used his sword on her yet, she would surely be dead by now if he had. As she kept trying, she thought about how she wasn’t ready to die, she had so much to live for and couldn’t cause her family more pain by dying herself. She felt a tear fall down her cheek at that thought and she scalded herself for not focusing on staying alive.
She knew River would be angry at her for her stupidity but he would eventually forgive her. Leif on the other hand might never forgive her and that hurt more than she thought it would.
As he lifted his dagger, fear ran through her and she knew she had to react or she might never see Leif again. Gripping her dagger as tightly as she could, she drove it into his exposed side. He grunted in pain and quickly grabbed for her hand, successfully obtaining her dagger.
Letting out a frightful gasp, Elah tried to consider her options and could only see one. She swallowed hard before grabbing the arrow sticking out of his chest plate and quickly repositioned it into some exposed skin near his chest thrusting it in as deep as she could.
He stopped pushing and fell to his knees, as she watched him fall, she realised she must have hit something important. He looked into her eyes as he fell back, she could see pain and fear in his and wasn't sure how she felt about it.
As he laid on the ground, she watched as he took his helmet off, taking one last look at the sky before succumbing to his wounds.
Shock hit her, as she looked at the handsome young boy that laid before her. She was expecting an ugly monster or at least that was what she had convinced herself of. She felt confused, that’s not what they should look like but he didn’t look any different to any light fae except he had brown eyes. She had never seen brown eyes in a fae and found they were really quite beautiful.
As she stumbled back she removed her helmet and dropped it the ground next to the boy. What had she done, what was she doing here? She put her hands on his face, as it was the only skin she could find and send her healing power through him, desperate to undo what she had done. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she desperately tried to bring him back. He probably had a family at home, praying for his safe return, who was she to take him awa
y from them.
“Come on” she growled, not caring who saw her. All she cared about was the boy in front of her, who had to be about the same age as River.
As she pushed her energy into him, she felt his life leave him and knew she was too late. As his life force left his body, Elah was blasted with a powerful blast of energy and was sent flying back onto the ground. She felt like her whole body was no longer hers, she couldn’t feel anything for the first few seconds and wondered what had happened.
The numb feeling was quickly replaced by agonising pain and she tried to scream but nothing came out, she couldn’t do anything, causing panic to overwhelm her. She felt like a prisoner in her own body and all she could do was scream out in her mind.
As she laid on the ground, with men still fighting around her, she looked up to see a dark fae running toward her with a grin on his face, she was easy pickings and she knew it. She couldn’t move and fear coursed through her and all she could do was watch him run at her but at least she knew he would have the pain of looking into her eyes as she died.
As he came within feet of her a light fae charged him, hitting him from the side and killed him in front of her. It was horrifying to watch, especially after she had just killed an innocent young boy. She wanted to scream but couldn’t and watched as blood ran from his body. She couldn't even turn her head and had to lay beside him, silently screaming for it to end.
She then felt a pair of arms slide under and lift her off the ground. She knew it had to be a light fae, as the dark fae wouldn’t bother picking her up but would kill her on the ground where she laid, at least that's what she hoped.
As she was carried from the field, she stared at the young boy until she couldn’t see him any longer and prayed his family could forgive her because she knew she couldn't forgive herself. She watched as the bloodied field turned to grass then dirt. She didn’t want to look at who ever was carrying her, not that she could anyway but could hear his breaths as he raced along.
Elah watched as the trees thickened. Her whole body numb and her mind going a million miles an hour, with thoughts of what had happened and what her father must have felt just before he died, was he also numb?
What had she just done, was a thought she kept coming back to. She had so easily just taken lives and now she gets to live, why? Why does she get to keep her life while others don’t?
As the scenery changed from the thick forest to the camp they had called home for the last several days, Elah watched the different tents go by as she was carried through the camp and into a tent.
As she was laid on a mattress, she looked up to see Leif, his face was hardened and he was saying something but she couldn’t hear him. Her heart sank further than she thought it could ever go and the pain of his anger hurt more than the blast of energy she had just received felt. She just wanted to tell him how sorry she was but not even her tears would fall.
It wasn’t until cold water was splashed across face that she able to focus but it didn't help with the pain in her heart. “Snap out of it Elah” he yelled at her, making her want to scream at the pain coursing through her body.
She took a deep breath in and looked around, she didn’t really want to look at him anyway, he was mad at her and she couldn’t blame him. She was mad at herself and just wanted to run from all the pain she was feeling.
He took her face in both hands and waited until she looked into his eyes. Her eyes were filled with fear and concern. “Why the hell were you out there?” he growled, furious with her.
She tried to look away, to ashamed to even look at him but he held her head firmly in position, so she averted her eyes and looked at his shoulder. He moved so she was looking at him again.
When she tried to close her eyes to escape Leif's fury, all she could see was the young boys face causing her keep snap them open. She decided that if she had to look at him she would look at his mouth, anything was better then looking at the fiery rage burning in his eyes. Her tears blurred her vision anyway but deep down all she wanted was for Leif to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything was okay but it nothing was okay.
A thought then washed over her and she looked at Leif with worry over powering any other emotion. “River, where is River” she breathed, trying to pull his hands away.
He looked at her hard and let go. He didn’t know if she knew the implications of what she had done. The worse of it was that he could have lost her today and she would never have known how he truly felt about her.
As he looked at her, she looked like she was lost, with so many emotions running through her. He hoped some of that emotion was regret for what she had done but the thought of this just caused a pain in his heart and he couldn’t look at her anymore. Standing up he called one of the guards over.
“I don’t care how you do it but don’t let her leave this tent” he said, before leaving.
Leif stood outside for a moment to regain his composure. All she wanted was her brother, did she have any feelings for him anymore? He couldn't even understand why she would go onto the battle field in the first place.
Shaking his head, Leif groaned and left before he could cause himself anymore heart ache.
The guard sat in a chair next to Elah, watching her every move. With a sigh, she slowly sat up and started removing the armour, leaving her just in her under garments. The guard looked at her uncomfortably and shifted on his chair as he tried not to look at her.
Elah sat on the edge of the cot and waited for him to relax before she quickly got up and made a run for it. She ducked as the left the tent and picked up the pace once she was clear of any objects. She had to make sure River was okay because if she didn't get the chance soon, she might not be allowed to even see him.
She had nearly made it to the edge of the campsite when an arm caught her by the waist forcing the wind from her lungs, as her body was swung around. Once her body was tightly pulled against a hard chest, she looked sadly at the tree line, she may have made it if she was able to get into the thickness of the trees. She then felt the other arm wrap around her trapping her.
“No, let me go” she screamed, as she was easily lifted off the ground. She tried to kick and squirm her way out but nothing she tried worked.
She only stopped squirming to attempt to open her wings but the grip around her waist was to tight, she should have pulled them out earlier. She thrashed about again, as she watched the guard run toward her. He grabbed her legs and helped put her back in the tent she had just escaped from and was put on the mattress.
“If she gets out again, you will be spending the night in a cell” she heard a familiar male voice say and looked up to see Leif holding her down by pushing into her shoulders.
She felt a cold metal object on her ankle and looked down to see a cuff locked in place. The other end was attached to a metal stake. “No, please let me go” she cried, as Leif left the tent, he couldn’t understand why she was so desperate to go to battle.
She sat up and tried pulling the stake out with everything she had but couldn’t even move it. She even opened her wings and tried to pull it up but the stake was in too deep. The guard looked at her with pity in his eyes and sat in the chair again, he didn’t want to spend a night in a cell, so he watched her struggle and prepared himself if she actually got loose.
It was hours before Leif returned. “Elah, there are some men that need you” he said, as the guard unlocked the cuff from the stake.
Elah saw her opportunity and tried to pull free from the guard while he was not prepared. She knocked him down and pulled the cuff free from his hands. As she turned to make a run for it, she smacked right into Leif’s chest. That was not part of her plan.
Leif wrapped one arm around her waist and with the other, he struggled to grab her arms as she beat into him. Her punches didn't hurt but the fact that she would fight him hurt more than he anticipated. She was out of control and he had to find away to calm her before she hurt herself.
/> The guard got up and raced over to assist Leif, he could tell Leif didn’t want to hurt her and he struggled to take control of the situation because of it. He pushed her into him and grabbed one of her hands, while she was shocked to be pushed into Leif and not pulled away, he grabbed her other arm and pinned them to her back. Once the guard had a firm grip on her, Leif bound her hands together.
As they tried to take her out of the tent, she refused to move and stood in front of them with determination and tears in her eyes. Leif sighed loudly and picked her up. He held her up by her shoulders while the guard grabbed her feet. She tried to kick him off but this time he was prepared and held tight. Frustrated she started screaming for them to let her go but neither Leif or the guard listened.
With the cuff still attached to her leg, Leif and the guard carried her to the medical tent she had been working in over the last several days and locked the cuff to a bed so the men could lay on the bed while she healed them. She was uncomfortable as she sat next to the bed on a wooden stool and healed more men than she had in previous days. She knew she couldn't refuse these men, especially when she had seen what they had been going through first hand.
She wondered if the influx of injured men was due to something she had done but felt comfort in the fact that she was at least able to help them. As she healed the men, she tried to listen to anything that would tell her if River was okay but heard nothing.
Most of what she heard was painful moans and comforting comments from the nurses. She knew that none of it was for the injured, the comments were for the ones looking after them, to make them feel better and useful.
Elah could feel Leif watching her, in one way it was comforting but she knew he was looking at her with anger in his heart. She just wanted to wrap arms around him and tell him how sorry she was for everything but for some reason she just couldn't. It could have been the fear of his rejection or just her pride that stopped her but she could bare look at even his feet.
Once Leif finally left, one of the men looked into her eyes and said “I saw you in the field today.”
Elah lowered her head, “Oh, I’m so sorry” she whispered softly and wondered if she had distracted him and caused his injuries.
He put his hand on hers and said, “don’t be, you were pretty amazing with that bow and helped us win today. We should be going home tomorrow because the dark fae admitted defeat.”
Elah smiled at him, she couldn't believe that the fighting was finally over. “Do you know River?” she asked.
“Yes but I thought you were here with Leif?” he questioned, looking at her surprised she would ask about another man.
“Is he okay?” she asked, looking worried and ignoring his confused expression.
“Yes, not a scratch. I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to be seeking out other men. Leif wouldn’t like it” he advised, confusing her for a moment before it dawned on her.
Elah narrowed her eyes at him, she didn’t belong to Leif and even if she did, she was allowed to ask about who ever she liked. “River’s my brother” she clarified. “And I’m not with Leif. The king asked me to come to help in the field, well not really in the field but here in the medical tent.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you” he said, feeling he had hit a sore point.
“It's okay, you weren’t to know” she said, finishing with his wounds.
After finishing the last of the men, Elah felt weak but tried to pull the cuff off anyway. Two guards came over and took her back to the mattress. Another brought her food and she asked for River over and over, and even screamed at them to bring him but got nowhere.
She was watching the men play cards when River finally walked in and asked them to wait outside. “Elah, are you okay?” he asked, looked her over.
“Yes, I’m so glad your okay” she whispered, her voice still sore from screaming at Leif and the guards all day.
“Elah, you are in big trouble and I have tried to help you but there is nothing more I can do” he said, leaning down to hug her.
“What do you mean” Elah asked, healing his sore muscles.
“Fae law forbids females from even going near a battle field, you went out and fought. Why did you do it?” he asked.
“I didn’t want anything to happen to you” she sobbed, with fear starting to cause through her body. “I don’t want what happened to dad to happen to you.”
“Oh Elah, I appreciate that you are trying to protect me but you should never have gone out there regardless of the law. What would I do if I lost you?”
“I’m so sorry River, I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble. Please forgive me River” Elah pleaded, with tears starting to fall, she had considered what would happen if she died but only when it was too late for her to turn back. “What do I do?”
“Your best chance is with Leif. So you need to make things right between you two” River sighed, looking at her seriously. “Of course I forgive you.”
“I don’t know if I can” Elah said, not sure if it was her own stubbornness or if it was the fact that Leif may not want her in his life at any capacity.
He hugged her until the tent opened, which in Elah’s option, was not long enough and Leif walked in. He looked at the two and waited while River wiped the tears from Elah’s face.
“Be brave” River whispered in her ear and left.
She watched River leave and wished he had stayed. She felt powerless and small, like someone could easily hurt her. She hadn't even felt this powerless on the battle field.
She didn’t want to see Leif, not yet. She looked at his handsome face, there was no expression in his features and this scared her more. She wished he looked mad, at least she would know what he wanted or that at least he still cared about her. She wanted him to care but was not sure if she was ready to forgive him, although she was sure it was her that needed forgiveness now.
She tried to look at Leif without emotion but couldn't take the fear from her eyes. “Have you decided my fate?” she asked, staring into his beautiful eyes, as her heart ached more.
“Your case is more complicated than most, so your fate will be decided by the high council, tomorrow” he said, wishing she could see how much trouble she was in but she looked like something else was bothering her and he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to deal with anything else at this moment.
“Okay, than so be it” Elah responded, knowing that the council usually gave harsh punishments. At least if she had to pay with her life, she could rest and not have to see the face of the dark fae she had killed every time she closed her eyes, although she wasn't sure that would go away even with death.
His face softened as he sat next to her. “Elah please, you need to take this seriously and above all else you need to be very sorry, otherwise the council will not look on you favourably.”
“I don’t want anything from you. I have already given you more than I should have” she said, bitterly but knew right away she should not have been so harsh, she needed him in more ways then she could imagine but was too stubborn to apologise.
She couldn't understand why she was being so stubborn. All she had to do was apologise but she couldn't even do that, especially now that her life probably depended on it. She might even have a chance of making things better between herself and Leif. She hated herself for being this way.
A Healer's Destiny Page 18
