by Tara West
Please don’t shrivel up. Rubber extensions are so awkward.
I clutched my gut and stifled a groan as a period cramp hit me. Ugh. It felt like the PMS gremlins were taking a chainsaw to my ovaries. Guess that was my karma for worrying more over Aedan’s dick size than his eternal soul.
Aedan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I was made to believe demons dwelled in caves and subsisted on insects.”
“The other dimensions, maybe, but I run a more sophisticated town. With a little luck, we’ve managed to do well for ourselves.” Doc’s southern drawl was smoother than silk. Too bad he was most likely a sadistic psychopath. Only a crazy demon would be put in charge of the fourth dimension.
“How do you do it?” Aedan asked him.
“I do not wish to upset the sensibilities of the ladies.” Doc’s cold gaze swept over Mar and then settled on me.
I turned up my chin. “We can handle it.” Truthfully, after dealing with hammer-head dates, sadistic demons, and asshole creditors, there wasn’t much I couldn’t handle.
“The reality is,” he said as he folded his arms behind him and flashed a sinister smile. “I have an arrangement with a certain dragon. Perhaps you’ve heard of Zahaka. I feed her. She feeds me.”
Oh, I so did not like where this was going. I got the feeling Purina Dog Chow wasn’t on this dragon’s menu. Probably more along the lines of tastes like chicken, looks like human.
“She feeds you?” Aedan asked, the tension in his voice as sharp as a steel blade.
“For every soul I give her, she gives me something in return.” Doc leaned forward and held up the bourbon decanter. “Of course, she will not give up her silver, but that’s why I have a mine. Whether it be a piano, lace, or fine spirits, the dragon never disappoints.”
How generous of her. And all Doc had to do was feed her souls. Something told me the human sacrifice got the shitty end of the deal.
“Where does she get these things?” Aedan asked, which I thought was weird. It was like asking Doctor Mengele if he sanitized his equipment and scrubbed his hands before torturing his victims. How about asking Doc Holiday why in the fuck he would feed people’s souls to a dragon for a bottle of bourbon? Or how he can enjoy drinking out of fine crystal knowing it was purchased with the unwilling sacrifice of a human spirit? I’ve heard of ignoring the elephant in the room, but Doc’s sadistic ritual was a fucking heard of mammoths.
Doc shrugged. “I don’t know how she does it, and I don’t ask.” He shot Aedan a sideways smile. “Besides, I’ve been reading poker faces long enough to know that’s not the question on your mind. Go ahead, ask me.”
My heart began to beat double-time, ringing so loudly in my ears, I swear I heard every drop of blood pumping through my veins.
Aedan’s spine stiffened as he eyed Doc for a long moment. “How do you choose souls to sacrifice?”
“It’s quite simple really.” Doc’s mouth twisted into a sneer as he slowly stood and pulled back this jacket, revealing a huge pearl-handled gun sitting in a leather holster on his hip. “I sacrifice those who disrupt my law.”
I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know who the lawbreakers were. I guessed we’d disrupted his little slice of Hell when we stormed into his bar demanding his whore. It was obviously time for the drinking and small talk to come to an end, and I knew exactly what to do. Aedan was already coming to his feet, hand on his hammer, when I raised my hands. But I froze when Doc’s arm moved in a blur, producing the biggest, baddest revolver I’d ever seen with bullet chambers the size of Twinkies. How was he even able to hold that thing up? Once small breeze, and Doc would tip over. The gun probably weighed as much as he did.
Still, he didn’t seem fazed as he stared down the barrel pointed directly at my chest. “You can’t out-draw the fastest gun in the fourth dimension, little lady. I see your next move before you do.” He cocked the trigger with a click that echoed across the tavern, pinging against all four walls as my heart leapt into my throat.
Well, holy shit on a fiddle. We were in some deep doo-doo, and I feared the crap was about to pile a whole lot higher. I stole a quick glance at Aedan. He was fingering the medallion tucked beneath the collar of his robe. Damn. I sure as hell hoped he concealed his wishing star. Something like that in the wrong hands could mean big trouble.
“Lower those pretty hands of yours before I place a silver slug in your chest,” the doc taunted, waving the gun at me. “Silver is the strongest substance in Hell, and it can penetrate anything. Bet you didn’t know it could cast down demons. Only two levels, but two levels is all I need. If you thought the dragon in the fourth dimension was sinister, she’s nothing compared to the creatures on six.”
Um, good thing I didn’t plan on sticking around Hell long enough to find out.
Doc let out a high-pitched whistle, and all the demons who’d skedaddled moments ago slunk back into the tavern, bringing a few more friends with them. Well, there was that big shit pile I was talking about.
Doc walked around the table, advancing toward us with a predatory gleam in his eyes. “It seems you angels are only here to cause trouble, which is a good thing. The dragon is hungry, and the citizens of Tombstone would rather it was you than them.”
As if on cue, a roar sounded overhead, rattling the glasses behind the bar and sending my racing heart into warp speed.
Aedan pushed me behind him as he faced Doc with rigid shoulders. “We just want to save our friends, I swear it. Let us have them, and we’ll be gone.”
I peered around Aedan to see Doc Holliday still advancing toward us, his teeth beads taunting me as they swung side to side like little porcelain pendulums. From this angle, he looked like a walking bean pole. No wonder he’d never been sacrificed. He didn’t even qualify as a dragon appetizer. She could probably pick her teeth with him.
His hollow eyes glowed eerily in the dim light. “I heard you say you were looking for two giants. The only giants down here are in the silver mine, and they do the work of ten demons. Why would I let you take them?”
“Because you’ll be rid of us for good,” Aedan answered.
Doc laughed. “I will be rid of you when I feed you to the dragon.”
Though I didn’t necessarily like agreeing with evil, sadistic demons, the dentist had a point.
Mar and I simultaneously gasped when Aedan yanked a gleaming sword from his belt and smacked the gun right out of Doc’s hands.
Doc yelped, shaking his hand as if he’d been shocked. I was certain he’d have a big bruise. The huge sword in Aedan’s grip probably weighed more than Doc did. He looked up at Aedan with a wicked gleam. “Well, I’ll be damned. I didn’t see that coming.”
Neither had I. I’d thought Doc was able to read minds. How had Aedan been able to fool him?
“Silver, you say?” Aedan puffed up his chest while waving the blade in Doc’s face. He then bumped into me, which I assumed was a sign to get the hell out of there.
Aedan didn’t need to tell me twice. I quickly backed up several steps, Mar and Boner following my lead. Jack began dancing on all four paws, frantically barking at us as if to make us hurry.
Doc narrowed his eyes at Aedan’s sword. “Where did you get that?”
“None of your damned business,” Aedan growled.
We were almost to the swinging saloon doors, but when I saw demon shadows slink into my peripheral vision, I decided I’d had enough. My inner-bitch was so ready to come out and play, and I had no qualms releasing her on Plant Face and his friends. I raised both hands and started zapping snarling creatures on both sides. I gagged on the smell of burnt flesh as it filled the room, but better them than me. That was the smell of demons getting their asses waxed.
My eyes widened in shock when Boner raised his back legs and kicked a demon so hard, he flew through several walls, leaving a line of gaping, steaming holes through the clapboards of the adjacent buildings.
Well, I’ll be damned. Boner’s demonic kick puts Jackie Cha
n’s ball-busting skills to shame.
Just when our backs were against the exit, Mar broke left and made a wide run around me.
“Get back here!” I yelled, but when I saw her plowing toward Katherine like a runaway steam-roller, I knew she was hell-bent on one stupid purpose. Damn her for being an idiot, and damn me for chasing after her, clearing a path and zapping demons in her wake. Boner clomped behind me, kicking demons that dared chase after us.
It was no surprise when her ungrateful, crazy bitch-sister’s pet snake tried to attack Mar. I zapped the snake and then Katherine with just enough strength to knock them out. Katherine fell into her sister’s arms, her chest painted in a big red bulls-eye from my burn. I’d intentionally aimed for the heart, since I knew I couldn’t permanently damage an empty organ. The smell of her burnt flesh and lace gave me a rush of satisfaction as I helped Mar pile her onto Boner’s back. We raced to the saloon entrance, where Aedan was busy fending off demons. Oops. Guess we kind of left him hanging. Served him right for allowing Mar to come with us. I shot him an “I told you so” look as we backed out the swinging doors.
Doc and a handful of his demons followed, malice in their eyes as their claws hovered over the big guns in their holsters. Well, shit. I had a hunch a shootout at the O.K. Corral would be anything but okay.
Sweat dripped down my brow and tension stiffened my wings as we cautiously stepped off the porch and onto the dusty street. Jack was already waiting for us, impatiently barking as if we were running out of time. A tremor wracked me as the roar of the dragon sounded in the distance. We needed to dust these demons and fast, or we’d be easy pickings out in the open.
Aedan aimed the tip of his gleaming blade at Doc. “Now we’ll be on our way, after we find the rest of our friends.”
“You’ve been fortunate so far, but you’ll need a whole lot more than luck to find them,” Doc said with a sneer as he turned his menacing gaze toward the sky.
Mar turned up her chin. “We’ve got more than luck on our side. We’ve been blessed by the one true Almighty God.”
Doc tossed back his head and laughed. “Your God is as good as dead here.”
Mar planted her hands on her hips. “Oh, we’ll see about that.”
“Shut up, Mar,” I hissed, distinctly remembering God refusing to offer us any help. Basically, if we got into any trouble in Hell, we’d be up shit creek without a prayer. Because Mar was an incapable idiot, I was already forced to paddle for the two of us. I didn’t think I could row any faster.
“Zahaka is the only God here.” Doc’s smile faded as he solemnly pointed to the sky.
I took a chance and looked up. Holy fuck!
Since the only other dragon I’d ever met was Callum, I was kind of expecting the thing to be somewhat smallish, you know, like a mini-van or an ice cream truck, but this beast hovering above us and casting a shadow of gloom across the entire road was like a jumbo jetliner. Needless to say, her inflight movie probably didn’t involve ginger ale and peanuts, but rather razor-sharp fangs and a whole lot of bone crunching, my bones to be exact.
The monster landed with a thud, rattling my body from the inside out. I fell against Aedan as my eardrums banged like gongs. The dragon was the most horrific creature I’d ever seen, with shimmery black scales, a long, wide neck, and claws as thick as lances. Odd that all her claws were black except one, gleaming silver like a blade. Venom dripped off her fangs, sizzling as it hit the ground. A deep growl sounded from her chest, the vibration like the rumbling of a hundred semi-trucks. When I looked up into her glossy black eyes, and saw the apparitions of demons, hands pressed against her reflective pupils as they screamed to break free, I nearly pissed my pants. Hang on. I actually did piss my pants a little. Thank God for makeshift maxi-pads, although I suspected by the time this dragon was through with us, there wouldn’t be enough adult diapers in all of eternity to contain my bladder.
Jack frantically barked at the dragon. Steam poured out of her nose as she glared at him. I so didn’t want my doggie getting turned into a roasted canine. Even as a two-headed beast, he was no match for Zahaka. He continued to bark while dancing at her feet. He looked like a Chihuahua trying to attack a Mastiff.
I looked up at him with a plea in my voice. “Easy, boy. She’ll slaughter you.”
Jack whimpered, tucking his tail between his legs as he finally backed down. I ducked beneath his slobbery mouth and patted him on the chest. “Good boy.”
If I’d thought Mar was crazy before, that was nothing compared to the certifiably demon-shit insane look in her eyes now. She jumped in front of us, pointing a finger at the beast’s long snout. “Get thee behind me, demon!”
Aww, fuck. Mar picked a Hell of a bad time to go holy-roller.
When Mar stomped her foot, a sonic boom rent the air, and the ground rippled around us, turning the road into a sea of dust. Each wave grew as it fanned out, causing the demons to land on their asses and the dragon to fall over backward with a roar.
Whoa. Maybe Miss Priss wasn’t entirely useless. And just when I started to feel the slightest spark of hope that we’d get out of here with our necks intact, an angry buzzing filled the air, and a cloud of black rose up from behind the saloon.
“Now you’ve gone and done it,” Doc laughed. “You’ve angered the hornets.”
The first one came flying at me so fast, I barely had time to zap him. Aedan swatted another with his sword, and the thing fell at our feet with a thump. Good God, he was as big as a rodent, and his stinger was as long as my finger! More and more bugs swarmed us, and I screamed when one struck my shoulder. Holy shit! I’d never been shot before, but I swear it was like a bullet had splintered my collarbone in two. Mar pounded the ground again, the sonic boom blasting the bugs back as they splattered against the buildings and shattered windows. Then the ground began to shake. I tried to fly, but the earth engulfed my feet like quicksand. Panic seized my brain, and I looked up at Aedan with wide eyes before the ground opened up beneath us. I screamed in a gulp of dust as we disappeared into a swirling black hole.
Callum O’Connor
I had no idea how much time had passed since the spider had taken my nettle, as the jug of wine had dulled my senses. Cara had stayed with me, scolding me for drinking too much. She’d made a good companion, though, despite the fact she refused to refill my jug. She hummed softly as she tidied my room and then forced me to lie down while she checked my bandage. Her presence here made me question, and not for the first time, what this angel had done to get sent to Hell. Surely, God had to have made a mistake in judgment.
She continued to hum while she pulled back the gauze on my wound. I vaguely remembered the tune Amazing Grace, surprised to be hearing it in Hell. Didn’t this girl realize there was no grace for her? For any of us?
I leaned back, gazing into her soft brown eyes. She smelled of the spicy sweet ambrosia fruit, and the warmth radiating off her skin was like a beam of sunshine. I wondered what those full lips of hers would feel like pressed against mine. What it would feel like to take her in my arms and roll her over on the bed. I must have been drunk, really drunk, because for the first time in a century, I was seriously contemplating bedding a woman. Not that it would have worked. I was too much a dragon, and she had no outward appearances of a demon at all. My scales would chafe her smooth skin, and she would choke on my breath. I did my best to push back the rising tide of desire. It would do me no good to pine over a woman I could never have. Besides, I had every intention of leaving her cult far behind me once I recovered enough to escape.
“What is the matter, Callum?” She frowned as she rewrapped the gauze around my shoulder.
“What are you doing here?” I rasped, trying not to scorch her with the heat from my breath.
She shook her head, smiling. “Looking after you.”
“I mean what are you doing in Hell?”
Her smile faded, the skin around her full lips tightening as if being pulled by an invisible tether. “I killed my
three best friends.” Her voice cracked like splintering ice.
I should have taken her verbal cues as a sign to drop the subject, but a nagging curiosity urged me forward. “Forgive me, but you don’t strike me as a killer.”
She leaned against the stone wall, resting her cheek on the surface. “I was driving drunk. They were my passengers. The car exploded, and we all burned to death.”
Dear God, what a horrible way to die, burned to death like a witch at the stake.
When a tear slid down her cheek, I berated myself for pushing her too far. Though it did give me a small degree of comfort, knowing she was still capable of grief. Proof this hellish existence hadn’t stripped away her humanity. Because if she could grieve, she could love. And damn me for wishing Cara could love me. I mentally berated myself. What was wrong with me that I wanted to see her suffer?
“Then it was an accident,” I said with an ache in my heart. Though I’d not lived to witness the invention of the automobile, I’d seen enough of modern society during my visits to Earth. I knew those steel traps were capable of wreaking destruction, but this woman was no killer.
She turned her gaze down. “No, not an accident.” Her shoulders stiffened. “I knew better than to get behind the wheel. I could have called my parents to pick us up.”
One foolish mistake and she was banished to Hell forever? “How old were you?”
“Nineteen.”
Nineteen? She was hardly a woman. “When was this?”
“1989.”
Nearly thirty years she’d suffered. Why? Had she intentionally meant to kill her friends, I could have understood, but an eternal fate of misery? Such a harsh hand for one so young. My chest swelled with rage at the injustice, and the bitterness from my anger left a foul taste on my tongue. Worse, Cara didn’t appear to be a demon. The only marking I’d seen on her body was a shoulder tattoo, but a tattoo didn’t make her a demon. How did God expect her to survive her punishment without any magical defenses?
