"Jesus Christ." I turned my back to Linds as I felt my body start to shake, fury coursing through my veins. I pulled in a deep breath, expanding my chest as I held it inside of me and then let it out, pushing out my negative thoughts.
"Luke, don't do anything crazy."
"I'm going to fucking kill him."
"Luke!" Linds yelled as I turned and pushed past her. I tore open the door to the bedroom and stormed over to the bed. I ripped the covers off of Liam and turned his head so I could see his face.
Holy shit. The welt was already purple and blue, covering most of his left cheekbone and the prune that used to be his eye. My stomach literally hurt like I was about to vomit as I stared down at my baby brother.
"Where is he now?" I asked into the room. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Lilly no longer had her earbuds in and was staring at me. "You okay, buddy?" I asked Asher as he watched me.
He nodded. "Lindsay was really sad."
"I'm sad, too," I told him. I cut a glance up to Maggie and then left the room, my sisters both darting after me. I ignored their annoying steps and trudged down to my father's office, the only reason he ever came by the house anymore.
The mahogany door was locked, but I slammed my shoulder into it, cracking the side by the hinge. "You better open this fucking door!" I yelled loud enough for the entire house to hear.
I heard my father chuckle from the other side of the door, and instantly adrenaline shot through my veins like liquid energy. I slammed into the door again and my shoulder vibrated with pain, but I pushed through.
Finally the door broke at the hinges, and I walked in like I really was going to murder him. I heard the girls sob from behind me, and just a tiny part of my brain told me to stop before I really fucked things up and landed myself in jail for murder. However, I think the jury would let me off on self-defense.
"You hitting the kid now?" I taunted him. He was sitting behind the dark wood, nearly black, desk that was positioned in the center of the room. I hated this place. It was pretentious with hundreds of books that I bet he never even read.
The dark tones just made it feel grimy. It wasn't classy; it was dirt and blood and wrong. There wasn't even a window in the room, which just made it that much more like a jail cell.
"What I do with my children is none of your business." His voice was calm, but I knew underneath his exterior he was preparing for war. Father was calculating to the point where he planned his every move. It's what made him so successful as a businessman.
"He's my brother. It matters to me."
"Well, father takes precedent. Or did you not know that?" He smirked at me, his yellow teeth sharp. "What are you going to do? Fight me? Take him away?" His head fell backwards as he laughed from deep in his gut.
"I'll tell Mother."
"You think she doesn't know that I beat you for years? She's too drunk to even give a shit about you kids." He made a point to look behind me at the girls in the doorway.
"Fine, then I guess we're fighting."
"You aren't even worth it. You and your brother are a waste of sons. You're a lost cause that is never going to change. But that kid—I can still try to change him." This time it was me who was laughing.
"Really? Like you changed me through beatings?" He stepped towards me with threat in his clenched fists. I stepped forward, ready to beat him within an inch of his life.
"How did my family become so useless?" he muttered to himself. "After everything I gave you children, did for you. You're a sad disappointing piece of nothingness just like the rest of them."
"Don't hit my face," I warned him.
"I wouldn't even waste a hit on you." He stepped forward again, his coffee breath hitting my face, and then spun around on his heels. I lunged towards him, but a hand on my elbow pulled me backwards.
"Wha—"
"Don't do this," Maggie pleaded. "He's not worth it." She pointed over my shoulder where I knew my father was lingering. I heard his chair squeak as his fat body sat down.
"He can't get away with this."
"We can't lose you." She touched my chin with feather-like fingers and guided my eyes down to her. Her green eyes were full of tears that threatened to spill over.
I didn't have anything else to say to him. I turned and left, following Maggie and my sisters back to Lindsay's bedroom.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Maggie
Luke sat at the edge of his sister's bed. He stared down at his sleeping brother with a look that could only be described as regret. I watched from a chair in the corner of the room as Luke brushed the swollen area of Liam's face with his index finger.
"He's going to be okay, right?" Lilly asked from behind Luke.
"Yes," Luke said with conviction. "Can you get some ice and a washcloth?" I didn't know who he was asking, but Lindsay was fast to move from the room and retrieve what he needed.
Asher climbed onto my lap and nestled into my body until he was comfortable. His head rested on the plush red arm of the chair, his legs dangling over the other side. I twirled his hair between my fingers as I watched Luke with his family.
Lilly sat down beside Luke, behind him on the bed with her legs crossed in front of her. It was obvious she had been crying, but she was trying to hide that fact. Her blonde hair was thrown up into a loose bun on the top of her head, and it was about as disheveled as I had seen any of them.
Lilly hugged Luke from behind and stayed there. She rested her head on the back of his shoulder, one arm over his back, and she too looked down at Liam—just watching.
It was hard for me to believe that Lilly was only seventeen. While her texting and cellphone habits were immature, in this moment, she seemed my age. But I guessed trauma would do that.
Lindsay came back into the room and locked the door behind her before she ran to the bed. She handed all she had gathered to Luke and then sat on the bedside table so she could see poor Liam.
Luke wrapped the bag of ice in the washcloth and then placed it over the most swollen part on Liam's face—his eye. I knew that when Liam woke up he wouldn't be able to open it or use it.
Liam mumbled in his sleep, and then he darted up in the bed. His good eye shot open and frantically searched the room. When he saw Luke, he completely broke down, and it killed me inside. My heart lurched into my throat, and I couldn't help but tear up.
"It's okay, Liam," Luke coaxed as he hugged Liam and rocked him. "I'll keep you safe, promise." Liam sobbed and coughed as he hyperventilated. Lilly reached forward and rubbed Liam's back while Lindsay got up and joined the group hug.
Without meaning to, I felt like an outsider. They were a family, and Asher and I weren't a part of it. It was like two separate bubbles that had touched for a brief night.
His words from dinner rang in the back of my mind, and it made sense why he didn't take a job in another country. He had to protect these kids. I understood that. But at the same time, it wasn't his job. It wasn't fair. He had dreams, too.
I looked away, not wanting to intrude on their moment, and stared down at Ash. I hoped that he wouldn't be affected by what happened, though I knew he would have questions.
"Maggie."
I mumbled that I wanted to sleep more and turned my head to the other side. I could tell from the ache in my muscles that it was way before wake-up time.
"Maggie, sweetie."
I groaned and peeked open just my left eye. When I saw Luke, I sat up wondering where the hell I was.
"What's going on?" I wiped the drool from my mouth and noticed the large body on top of me. Asher was fully asleep on top of me, his body dead weight. I guessed that explained my numb legs.
"Let's go to bed." Luke bent forward and lifted Asher into his arms. Asher grumbled a little, but once he found a comfortable spot, he settled in. Barely able to see through my blurry vision, I stumbled up and saw three lumps in the bed.
I walked past the bed and followed Luke down the hallway and into his bedroom. I felt like I was g
etting a peek at who he was, but I was too tired to really snoop.
I kicked off my shoes and jacket and piled them on a desk I found in the corner of the room. Luke laid Asher right in the center of the bed and began getting him comfortable. He pulled his shoes off and tossed them over his back, took off his jeans and socks, and then pushed him up against the pillow.
"Thank you," I said as I hugged him from behind.
"Thank you for being here. I know it wasn't pretty, but I really appreciate you staying by my side." He turned so we were chest to chest and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso and nuzzled into his neck.
"I'm so tired." I yawned unattractively and hoped he didn't see.
"Lie down, baby." He placed me on the mattress which was divine. I sunk in perfectly and immediately curled into a ball on my side. I reached forward and rested my hand on Asher's back.
"Wait!" I whispered as I heard Luke retreat from the room. "Where are you going?"
"I'll sleep in the guest room." He shrugged.
"Your bed is huge. Sleep on the other side of Ash. I don't want you to go." I knew that I sounded desperate, but I really didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay—forever.
"Are you sure, Sunny?" He took a step forward but paused.
"Positive." I tried to keep my eyes open as I watched him walk around the room and then eventually climb into bed. I smiled as he laid his head on the same pillow that Asher's was on. I shut my eyes and reveled in how happy I was in that moment.
"I love you."
"What?" he asked back. My eyes sprang open. Had I said that out loud? Shit.
"Goodnight."
"Oh, no!" He sat up and reached over Asher towards me. "Don't backtrack now, girl. What did you just say?" he asked again.
"I love you," I whispered because I didn't know what his reaction would be. I had never told a man that. In fact, the only person said 'I love you' to was Asher.
"Jesus, this is crazy. I don't do love. I can't. Don't you see my life—" My face instantly fell, and rejection settled in my bones. I wanted to burst into tears and flee. "But I fucking love you," he finally said.
"You do?"
"I fell in love with you when I saw your passion for this boy," he said as he rested his hand on Asher's shoulder.
"I think I've always known that you were something more."
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too."
"Now go to bed. Tomorrow we have a busy day."
"Doing what?"
"Declaring our love." My insides clenched, and I was so full of nerves and excited energy, it took me a while to fall asleep.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Maggie
The next morning, I woke up with one arm above my head, my fingers linked with Luke's, and my other arm around Asher. I couldn't have dreamt up a more perfect way to wake if I tried.
My movement must have startled Luke because he turned over and sat up, his back to me. He ran his hands through his dirty blond hair, sighed, and then looked over his shoulder at me.
"I'll be right back." He got up, threw on a sweatshirt, and left the room. I was fully awake now, so I got up and went into the bathroom attached to his room. I couldn't believe that all these kids had their own bathrooms—what a luxury. My parents weren't even that rich.
As I washed my hands, I glanced at myself in the mirror. My greenish skin appeared to glow under the yellow lights above. Dark purple bags now held a permanent place beneath my dimmed eyes. I needed to de-stress.
"Knock, knock." Yet he didn't knock. Luke cracked open the door and popped in his head. I smiled at him as he opened the door fully and walked in, shutting it behind him quietly.
"Hi," I muttered as I dried my hands on the sweats I was wearing.
"Hi." He closed the space between us and lifted me up on the counter. We were even in height, my face in line with his. I leaned forward and kissed his lips that tasted like spearmint.
"My father left," he said as we separated.
"That's good, right?"
"For now." He pressed his forehead against mine.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked down at his nose. "Did you mean what you said last night?"
"That I love you?" He nodded, his concrete eyes widening with worry. "Of course I meant it. I wouldn't tell you that if I wasn't sure." His shoulders relaxed, the tension seemingly evaporating. "I want you." His voice was husky and deep, sexy. It made my stomach flip and muscles clench. I wanted him so badly, but I was afraid that once we crossed that line, I would be completely gone. There would be no turning back from this relationship.
"Lock the door," I told him as I followed my heart. It was the first time in my entire life that I let myself listen to my gut. He smiled a Christmas grin and reached towards the door, flipping the lock on the handle.
"Are you serious?" he asked, his voice light, yet firm.
"I'm yours." That was it. He grabbed under my butt and lifted me completely into his arms. I crossed my legs behind his back and held on tight to his neck as he kissed me with fervor.
He squeezed me hard, making the blood rush to where his fingers bit into me. I ground my hips into him as I moaned from the way his tongue twirled with mine. I could feel his already hard dick pressing against my stomach, and it made me that much more ready.
We moved against the wall. My back hit it softly, and he used his hips to pin me against the cold, white wall. He pulled his lips away from my mouth, and I felt the loss within me. I wanted more. But instead of kissing me again, he bent down and kissed my neck right below my ear.
His hand snaked under my tee-shirt and pulled the cup of my bra down. I gasped as he pinched my nipple and elongated it by rolling it between his fingers. My head fell backwards as I tried to hold back my screams of pleasure.
"You better be quiet," he whispered.
"I'm trying," I whined as he continued to assault my breasts with his expert hands that refused to stop turning me on with their every squeeze and flick. I was tingling, my fingers and toes vibrating with energy. But it wasn't enough. I wanted him to reach down into my pants where the heat pooled.
I wriggled out of his hold and stood on my own two feet. His forehead was wrinkled, his eyes questioning as he watched me with hooded eyes. I trailed my nails down his chest to the waistband of his shorts. I felt him shudder under my hands.
It was like opening your favorite present, already knowing what was inside. I slowly pulled his shorts down first and revealed his gray Calvin Klein briefs. Then I teased him by brushing my fingers right along the hem and up and down his happy trail.
"You're killing me here," he ground out through clenched teeth. His hand dove into my hair, massaging my scalp as he shut his eyes in frustration. I loved the effect I had on him, and I was going to use that to my advantage.
As I pulled down his briefs, I kissed the place they had just covered. First it was his hip, which I sucked. Then the soft area around his happy trail. Then right above his shaft. He groaned from deep in his throat as I finally kissed the base of him.
I forgot about his briefs as they pooled around his ankles as I took him in my hand and admired him. I was intimidated, but I was experienced also. I just hadn't been with a man in almost two years, so I thought I might have forgotten how to do this.
I pumped him with my right hand as my tongue spun around the tip of his cock. His hand, still in my hair, pushed me towards him and I pulled back, just to mess with him. I liked the game.
"Patience," I muttered as I looked up at him from my crouched position.
"You. Are. Killing. Me." His gray eyes were vibrant as he pleaded for me to suck him. I smiled and then put his entire dick in my mouth.
He moaned and stumbled back a little bit as I pushed him in and out, in and out. I clenched my hand harder, and he moaned again. I loved that sound. I wanted to please him more and more just to hear it again.
He bent down and lifted me from under my armpits. "I don't want to co
me like that," he said as he kissed me hard. I lost my breath as he wrapped me up in him and massaged the inside of my mouth with this tongue.
"Your turn," he said with a smile. He moved with me as he laid me down on the plush blue bath mat. The fibers tickled my ear, but I didn't dare laugh as Luke descended over me.
He didn't take his time and tease me. Instead, he pulled down the sweats fast, taking my underwear along with them. I felt my face turn into molten lava and squirmed beneath Luke as his eyes raked over me.
"You're going to be shy now?" he asked as he looked up. His face was so close to me that I felt his breath heat between my thighs. His hands grabbed onto my inner thighs and slowly opened me up so I was completely bare to him.
He growled and then licked the inside of my left thigh all the way to my hip bone leaving behind a trail of wet fire. I shut my eyes and tried to focus on what he was doing for me, but all of the competing sensations were driving my mad.
His tongue pressed against my clit as his finger slowly started to circle my opening. I blushed again as I knew he was feeling how wet I was already. He pushed into me, and I groaned as he filled me up.
"God, you're fucking perfect." His breath was cold against me, making me shiver as it made where he had licked icy. My entire body shook. I had to do something. I ran my hands up his back and into his hair and tugged as he sucked and licked and just thoroughly fucked me with his mouth.
"Luke," I whispered, wanting him to have sex with me. "Luke, come up here." Almost like he was hypnotized by my voice, he looked up and then nodded. He got onto his knees and rummaged through the bathroom drawers until he came out with a foil packet.
He slid it down his unbelievably hard dick and then pushed it inside of me. I gasped as he stretched me open. I lifted my hips to guide him deeper. His hands squeezed my ass and then held me up as he slowly rocked in and out of me.
"That feels so good," I told him as I twisted my hips around. I wanted to feel him against every wall of me. He pressed against me until we were parallel to the ground. His face was in line with mine, and I just stared up at him as he pressed against me.
For The Love of Ash Page 23
