"You hurt my son!" I threw up my hands as a new wave of anger radiated through me. "He wondered where you were. He prayed for you to come back. And when you didn't come back, he got mad. I may be able to forgive you, but I know that that boy won't ever forget what you did to him."
"I want to make it better!" Luke cried at my feet.
"I wish that you could. But it's not possible."
"You don't understand, Maggie, you are my sun. You make my life worth living. I can't go on without you now that I know you're out there."
"I'm not giving you a choice. Our romantic relationship is over. I won't let you near my son except for at school. I know this sounds harsh," I added as his face fell, "but I have to protect him. You broke us once. I'm sure you'd do it again."
"And no matter how many times I promise I won't, it won't matter?"
"I'm sorry, but yeah. I can't put myself through this again. You know this is exactly why I didn't date before you." Tears pricked behind my eyes even though I was the one putting my foot down. My entire body craved his touch. My brain was telling me to back up and close myself down, while my heart was begging me to kiss him.
But I had more than just myself to protect.
Chapter Forty-Three
Luke
Friday rolled around, and I welcomed it. I didn't have to act in class anymore or pretend to be fine for my siblings. I huddled into my apartment, eating old ranch dressing with stale pickle chips, and watching the news. At least it was more depressing than my life.
Me: I hate the smell of pickles, you know?
I had been texting Maggie probably once an hour at least. Every time I had a thought, I just wanted to tell her about it. I missed talking to her. Despite the fact that people were surrounding me from eight to four every day, I had never felt more alone.
And I was empty handed.
Nothing I could ever do was going to make this better. She said it to me that we would never be together again. But this sick part in the bottom of my stomach wouldn't believe it.
I could still make this better. I had to hold onto some shred of hope that I could get my life back on track. I wasn't lying when I said she gave me purpose. She changed me, and I didn't know who I was without her.
I grabbed the bag of chips and dip and brought them into the kitchen. If I wasn't so fucking annoyed, I would've loved my apartment, but being here alone made me hate it. I resented it for being vacant.
The kitchen was modern and new, slate appliances and sleek, clean countertops. As I covered the dip with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge, I noticed that I didn't have much left in there. Aside from the dip, I had two yogurts, a pound of chicken, a half-drunk bottle of root beer, and some butter. I couldn't even do anything with that.
I made my way back into the living room where I had a leather sofa and matching ottoman and laid out along it. I wasn't even tired, but I drifted off to the sounds of racial rioting and newscasters debating.
I faintly registered a vibrating next to my ribs but flipped over, thinking it was just a strange muscle spasm. Then all of a sudden there was a loud banging near my head, and I shot up, nearly falling off the couch.
Someone was at the door. Immediately my mind flashed to Maggie, and I darted towards the door, pulling it open. Only it wasn't Maggie. Liam was at my door, hunched over holding his side, a trickle of blood down his nose.
"What the fuck?" I opened the door wider, letting him in. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands as I watched Liam limp over to the kitchen counter.
"I'm really fine," he muttered, his words slurred and slow.
"What did he do now?"
"I failed my English class."
"I said what did he do, not you. No matter what you do, you would never deserve this." I ran my thumb along the lower part of his jaw. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I could've done better and all." I stared down at my little brother, the fucking baby of the family, realizing that he could turn into me, and I didn't want that.
"No." I shook my head as I walked over to the sink and doused a kitchen towel in ice water. "Did you try your hardest in that class?" I placed the towel over his nose, wiping the blood and holding it there.
"I did, but I just hate reading. I don't understand the books they make us read, and I just don't like them. Like, I read in video games no problem. I like comic books. But we don't read that in school."
"If you're trying your absolute hardest then you did nothing wrong. Don't ever apologize. I hate English, too. It must run in the family." I lifted his shirt up, and he winced when I tried to get his arm through the hole. "That hurt?" He nodded.
"I think it's my ribs," he groaned as I pulled the shirt fast so it didn't hurt too long. I had had my ribs broken a few times, so I knew the pain he was probably feeling. As long as they weren't splintered, he'd just have to heal alone. No doctor could do much other than give him pain pills. They were already purpled and blue, a huge circle of color from right under his armpit down to his hip.
"Go lay down in my bed. I'll be right in." Luckily, ice was something I had in my freezer. I filled a clear bag with ice, wrapped it in a dry towel and then found Liam already nodding off in my bed.
"Did Lindsay bring you here?" I asked as I put the ice on his ribs and pulled the towel off his face. The poor kid was a mess.
"No. She's been staying at her place. Lilly was on a date. I just took the car in the garage and drove."
"You're fifteen! You don't have a license." I tried to keep my voice calm, but it was fucking hard when my baby brother drove a car. Jesus. This was nightmare after nightmare.
"I couldn't stay, Luke. I'm sorry."
"No," I said as I brushed my fingers over his swollen face. "Don't be sorry. You had to do what you had to do. I'm just glad you're safe here."
"Listen…" he started to say but his voice trailed off. He glanced away, biting his bottom lip, and then looked back up at me. I nodded to reassure him. "I don't want to mess up your life or anything. But I don't want to go home. Can I just stay here?"
"Of course you can stay here. Any time. Seriously. I have another bedroom we can make yours. I don't want you going back into that house."
"Thanks." A steady stream fell from his eyes, coating the bed in his salty tears. I didn't want to hurt him, but he had to know I was there for him. I scooted closer and hugged him, gently placing my arms around his neck so I didn't touch his ribs.
"I love you, Liam. You don't deserve this. Nobody does. You're always welcome here. You're always safe here."
"I know."
"Did you want to go to the hospital?" I asked him even though I knew the answer. He looked up and glared at me. "They can at least give you pain pills."
"I just want to lie down."
"All right."
Me: I need your help. Please call.
I didn't want to have to leave Liam alone at the house. The way he was talking last night about how he deserved the punishment and how Dad was just doing it because of his grades worried me. I knew I'd have to get Liam in to see Dr. Linhart soon or else it might wreck him.
But I was out of food, and Liam needed more than chicken and root beer. I texted Lindsay, but she wasn't answering. Lilly couldn't drive, so I was stuck. I couldn't bring Liam with me. I knew he'd wake up with a sore stomach and throbbing face.
I had nobody to help me. And it was only six in the morning.
I debated running out to the store while Liam was still asleep, but the thought of him waking up alone made me stop. I paced up from the kitchen to the front door, scratching my fingers down my face as my mind blanked on what I should do.
My phone vibrated from somewhere in the place. I ran into the kitchen and searched, following the buzzing until I found it on the stool. I swiped to answer fast.
"Hello?" My voice was frantic.
"What do you need?" I pulled the phone away from my head and looked at the screen. Her beautiful face lit it up, with Sunny written ac
ross her forehead. I couldn't even form words.
"Hello?" She sounded bored.
"Sorry, I'm here. Um, I need someone to get groceries for me. I can't leave my house. I'll give you money if you stop at my apartment first. I'm really sorry. I know how busy you are, but I just can't leave." There was a brief pause where I only heard her breathing on the other end.
"I'll be there in twenty." Then my phone flashed, and her face was gone. I stared at the black phone, wishing that I could hear her voice again. She sounded so angry, but it was still her. I quickly texted her my address so she knew where to go.
"Luke!"
I ran to the sound of his voice. Liam was hunched over, his head dangling over the side of the bed. I rushed to his side and lifted him up so he was sitting with his back against the headboard.
"It hurts so much," he groaned, crying as his body shook.
"I know." I rubbed his side as I felt his bones to make sure nothing was broken. "Can you tell me where?"
"My face."
"Just your face?"
"My ribs—" He cried out as I probed his armpit, pushing in his skin to see if anything was swollen. "Just a little, but you made it hurt more."
"I'm just trying to feel for a break. Let me go get you breakfast and some medicine. Stay here." I started to leave when I saw my laptop on top of the dresser. I grabbed it and passed it over to Liam. "Watch a movie or something. My Netflix should be signed in."
"Thanks, Luke."
I nodded and left, leaving the door wide open in case I needed to rush in. I didn't think there was anything seriously wrong with him, but since he was under my care, I was allowed to worry.
Just as I was putting his toast with butter and a bowl of plain chicken broth on a platter, the doorbell rang. I could feel her through the door, her love radiating through the walls and whipping me in the face. I ran to it and swung it open.
"Why can't you leave?" she immediately asked as she pushed past me. I didn't see him at first, but Asher was tagging along, clinging to her hand like he was scared.
"It's Liam."
"What happened?" She looked up at me, tears already forming in her eyes because she knew what it meant. I pointed down the hallway to the bedroom and followed her as she ran down.
"Stay out here with Ash," she said as she walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Asher stared at the door and then me, almost like he didn't recognize either.
"You hungry?" I asked because I didn't know what else to say.
"I heard you don't have any food."
"Yeah. You're right." I shuffled down the hallway into the living room and sat in the love seat beside the window. I noticed that my leg was shaking, the same way that Maggie's used to.
"I got a concussion," Asher said as he plopped himself down on the couch. He was sitting at the complete other end of the room, four arms' lengths away from me.
"What happened?"
"I got checked into the side board from behind. My helmet came off and scratched me. See?" He pointed to the scratch that was across his cheek, just under his eye.
"He better have gotten a major."
"He got kicked out!" Asher threw his hands in the air, jumping on the leather seat. I laughed.
"Did coach say how long you were out?"
"No. But mom said I can't play for like a month."
"That's probably best." I nodded because despite the passion I saw Asher exude, it was better to be safe than sorry. Concussions were no joke. I had a bad one from lacrosse in high school that made me throw up. They brought me to the ER, forced me to stay awake for way too many hours, then told me to go home.
"Do you think you can help me practice off the ice for a little?" His voice was soft. He glanced over his shoulder and then sat on the arm of the chair, checking for Maggie.
"Sure. Whatever you want."
"My mom doesn't want me to talk to you."
"I know."
Chapter Forty-Four
Maggie
The second I saw Liam, I knew that it would shatter Asher. I shut the door behind me, not wanting anyone else to come in. Liam turned when he heard me come in, his face partly shadowed by the darkness of the room and a faint glow from the MacBook.
"Are you okay?" I asked him as I rushed over to the bed. I didn't know too much about injuries, but I knew a lot about nurturing—or at least I hoped I did. I turned on the light on the bedside table and gasped.
"Oh, Liam…" I took his head between my hands, moving it side to side so I could see the swelling and damage. "I am so sorry."
"I'm okay, Maggie. Really."
"No, you're not. This is terrible. Can I do anything?"
"Distract Luke." He chuckled under his breath, and it was almost like he wasn't hurt at all.
"Why don't I call your sisters? I'm sure they'll be better at distracting him than me right now."
"No," he snapped. "They'll make me stay with them. I want to stay here with Luke. But he's so grumpy, and he's hovering over me now. Please. He's always happy when you're around."
"I'll see what I can do, Liam. Can I get you anything?"
"Advil, please."
"No problem. I'll be right back." I patted his leg and exited the room. Asher and Luke were talking in the family room, sitting at opposite sides of the room, but when I walked in, they both shut up fast. I narrowed my eyes on Luke as I walked into the kitchen and got the platter that Luke had made.
I didn't say anything as I brought it into the room and put it beside Liam. He took two bites of toast, slugged back some water, and then took the two Advils.
"Any requests from the grocery store?" I asked as I took the now empty tray and walked to the door.
"No. But can you go to my house and get my video games? I have two DSs. Asher can play one of them with me. You don't have to," he started to say, but I shook my head.
"I'll get them for you. Just rest, okay? And don't worry."
"Thank you, Maggie."
"No problem." I blew him a kiss from the doorway and shut the door slightly, so he didn't feel like he was completely on display. I went straight for the kitchen, bypassing the whispery boys in the living room.
After washing the plate and rinsing the cup, I grabbed a pad of paper from one of his top drawers and opened the door to the refrigerator. It was completely empty: three things total.
"Are you kidding me?" I muttered as I opened drawers and searched for hidden compartments. This was what Luke was living like. It was a miracle he and Liam were even alive.
"What's wrong?" I jumped from his closeness. I turned, and we were almost chest to chest. I couldn't see into the living room to check on Asher from the kitchen; he had walls, unlike my house which was more open.
"When's the last time you ate?"
"Today. I had some bread. I ate something at work yesterday…" He wouldn't make eye contact with me, so I knew that he was lying. His gray eyes were distant, looking past me instead of at me.
"I'm going shopping. There's a lot to get. Do you have a card?" I asked because I knew there was no way I could afford the large bill. His whole kitchen needed to be stocked.
"Sure." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his black leather wallet, producing a black card. He handed it over. "Just say you're Lindsay or something if they give you problems."
"Can you watch Ash while I run out?"
"Of course."
"Thanks." I kissed Ash on the top of the head as I walked through the living room towards the door. He giggled as I grabbed my purse from the entryway and bolted out.
When I walked through the back door into the Wilson estate, I kept on my tiptoes so I wouldn't be heard. There were five cars parked in the driveway, but from what I knew, that was pretty normal.
The entire bottom floor was lit up in a yellow glow from all of the low hanging chandeliers. But as I crept from room to room, I didn't find a single person.
I couldn't remember which room was Liam's. I suddenly began to panic. Luke's was the fir
st on the right, and I knew Lindsay's was after that. I took a chance and opened the first door on the left, and luckily, I nailed it.
I hurried in and grabbed the two video game consoles that were on his bedside table. I looked around for things he might need and quickly packed a bag of random clothes from his closet. Then I grabbed a case of extra cartridges and the cords and ran back outside.
As I pulled down their private drive, I let out a sigh of relief. I was in the clear. My Honda's entire back seat was filled with groceries, so much I could barely see out the window.
I honked the horn when I parked at Luke's. His apartment was in a nicer part of Norwalk, down by the water. Even though we were in the same city, it took a good fifteen minutes to get from my place to his. Not that I cared…
"Damn, Maggie. How much did you set me back?"
"A nice chunk. Bring them in for me, and I'll make dinner." I smiled as I walked around the car.
"Asher, come help bring these in!" Luke yelled as he pulled out two brown paper bags. Asher almost ran me over as he sprinted from inside the apartment to Luke's side. I knew this was a bad idea having them so close again, but Liam was the priority right now.
I decided that since I was here and it was only seven in the morning, I would make a couple of meals that could be frozen or refrigerated. I knew Luke wasn't going to cook so I might as well…Plus, it was for Liam. Not Luke.
"Sweetie, we have to go," I said as I finished wrapping the large tray of lasagna. It worked out well since his refrigerator was basically empty; there was plenty of room to store all the things I had made.
"I want to stay with Luke," Asher whined. I was so close to cracking just by being here all day that I was not in the mood for Asher throwing a hissy fit. I gave him a look, begging him to cut me some slack, but I could tell from the long blink of his eyes that he was exhausted. I was already three in the after noon. He'd had long enough.
For The Love of Ash Page 27
