by Merry Farmer
“You didn’t,” Noelle whispered. “You wouldn’t.”
Lord Shayles’s false smile grew even more pitying. “I’m afraid the same could be said for Stepney as well.” He leaned back and made a noise as though he’d caught a whiff of something foul. “It’s a sad state of affairs indeed when establishments in Stepney, of all places, won’t consider hiring a woman.”
“This is my life you’re playing with, Lord Shayles,” Noelle hissed. “Why do you want to destroy me like this?”
“My dear, I don’t want to destroy you,” he said, feigning surprise. “I want to glorify you. I think you and I both know how popular you could be. The experienced American girl, newly arrived in London, with an appetite fit for the wild West. Or have I misread the signals?”
Prickles raced down Noelle’s back. Had she behaved in some way that had given Lord Shayles a hint of who she’d been before? Was she too bold, too friendly with men? She thought back to Lady Lavinia Prior and her sisters. They had kept to themselves, erecting an invisible wall that couldn’t be breached. Noelle was fairly sure she had no such wall.
Or was Lord Shayles simply guessing at her character? Had her bold answers given him reason to pursue her instead of backing off? Worse still, had someone from Captain Tennant’s crew whispered her whole history to the wrong people?
She shook her head, unwilling to carry the conversation any further. “Excuse me, sir.” She shoved her hands in her pockets and tried to walk past Lord Shayles to where she could cross the street.
He caught her arm, bringing her to a clumsy stop. “What I’m offering you will provide you with food, shelter, and protection,” he told her, eyes ablaze with hunger. “Imagine. Pretty dresses, sumptuous meals, a warm bed. All you have to do is spread your legs, and you’ll never have to worry again.”
Noelle swallowed. She’d heard those same words before. In a way, Madam Trixie had been right when she’d said them. Noelle hadn’t had to worry about food, clothing, or shelter. No, she’d had to worry about misery, abuse, and heartache.
But if it meant Ram could reconcile with his brother…if it meant he could open his shop and achieve his dreams, what did it matter how miserable she was?
“No,” she said, far less confident than she wanted to be. “I won’t.” She pulled out of Lord Shayles’s grip.
Her hand yanked out of her pocket at the same time, spilling Lord Shayles’s card to the pavement between them.
A low, slow laugh rumbled up from Lord Shayles. “Well, well.” He bent to retrieve his card. “It seems you dropped something. Strange that you kept it, considering how determined you are to turn me down.”
She met his eyes with a ferocious glare. He grinned back at her, the picture of victory. At last, kicking herself for doing it, Noelle snatched back his card and thrust it into her pocket again. She whirled around and darted across the street.
“You know where to find me when you change your mind,” Lord Shayles called after her.
CHAPTER 8
N oelle felt as cold and hollow on the inside as the January wind swirling around her as she made the long walk back to Stepney. She didn’t want to believe that what Lord Shayles had said about starting rumors to stop her from finding a respectable position. With desperate hope in her heart, she called in at a few shops and cafés to see if they were hiring. But almost from the moment she opened her mouth, the faces of the business-owners darkened and she was thrown out.
Lord Shayles had laid his trap well.
The icy cold seeped into Noelle’s bones as she approached the neighborhood where Ajay lived. It closed around her heart, numbing her to the realities she faced. She loved Ram. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But she was like a fly caught in a spider’s web. Lord Shayles had singled her out the moment he spied her looking for a job the day after she arrived. He’d seen something in her that had value to him, and he was bound and determined to acquire her as an asset. And men like Lord Shayles didn’t let go of things they wanted easily.
As she climbed up the ladder in back of Ajay’s house, her thoughts felt like heavy clouds of freezing rain. Every way she looked at the situation, she would be a burden to Ram. Meeting and falling in love with him was the best and the worst thing she’d ever done.
Ram’s room was empty when she crawled through the window. It was just as well. Noelle had a lot to think about. Having Ram there to feed her glorious fantasies and turn her head with kisses wasn’t going to make the choice in front of her any easier. She fed a few coals into the small stove that heated the room, then went to work gathering her clothes and belongings into a pile on Ram’s bed.
By the time Ram returned home from his day of work, Noelle was no closer to deciding what she should do when she’d left that morning.
“What a wonderful sight to come home to,” Ram whispered as he slipped through his bedroom door, shutting it tightly behind him.
Noelle managed a weak smile. It faded even before Ram stepped over to kiss her.
“You’re not happy,” Ram said, holding her at arm’s length and studying her.
She studied him for several long, sad seconds, debating how much to reveal. In the end, there didn’t seem to be much point in hiding anything.
“Not only did things go horribly with Mr. Platte, Lord Shayles has spread rumors all around Oxford Street—and apparently Stepney too—that I’m a loose woman with no morals. I was chased out of not only Mr. Platte’s café, but several other shops too.” She stopped short of revealing Shayles’s offer to employ her.
Ram’s brow darkened with a frown. “That bastard. Shayles will pay for this.”
Noelle let out a sharp, hopeless laugh. “He’s a lord, Ram. How could you possibly make him pay for anything?”
Ram didn’t like that answer. He stepped back from Noelle, rubbing a hand over his face. “It doesn’t matter,” he said with renewed energy a moment later. “We can figure out a way around this. If Shayles destroys your reputation here, we’ll simply move.”
“Move?” Noelle gaped at him.
“To Portsmouth,” Ram said. “Captain Tennant has offices there as well. I can continue to work for him until we have enough money to open a shop down there.”
“But Ram, your dream is to open a shop here. Not just any shop, a department store. You can’t do that in Portsmouth.”
“Dreams change.” Ram shrugged. “My dream now is to be with you.”
“I won’t let you give up your real dreams for me.” Noelle shook her head, marching to the bed. Her carpetbag lay open beside her pile of clothes. She hadn’t decided whether to pack everything up until that moment, but with every crazy thing Ram said, the situation became clearer to her.
“What are you doing?” Ram marched to her side, jaw set with frustration.
“I’m packing my things.” Noelle sighed, aching with defeat. “I won’t be the cause of you abandoning your dreams.”
“And I keep telling you, I’m not giving up anything.” He reached into her carpetbag and pulled out the folded blouse she’d just packed. “Everything that I’ve planned for years will only be better if you’re there with me.”
“I don’t see how that can be true,” she told him. “Not when I can’t contribute anything. Not when a devious lord is actively trying to back me into a corner.”
“I don’t understand why he’s so determined to ruin you,” Ram said.
Noelle took the blouse from his hands and nestled it back into the carpetbag. She swallowed and dragged her eyes up to meet Ram’s. “He wants me to work in his club.”
Ram’s eyes widened with rage. “I’ll kill him.”
“No, you won’t.” Noelle sighed.
“Lord or not, the man is an utter bastard to think he can lure you into that sort of life again.”
“Yes, he is.” Noelle stuffed a skirt into her carpetbag, then turned to face him. “And he’s not the only one. Faye said it herself yesterday when she spotted him in the park.”
Ram blinked, shaking his head in confusion. “What did she say?”
“She knew exactly who Lord Shayles was, knew that he lures girls away from an upright life with the promise of easy money. She knew that he has friends who enjoy bad things.”
“She didn’t say all that…did she?”
Noelle sighed and continued packing. “If Faye knows how Lord Shayles operates, then it’s common knowledge. And it also proves that men like him don’t have to be subtle about how they turn girls like me away from everything good. You may not want to acknowledge that side of life, Ram, but it’s the side I know best.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re still a part of it,” Ram insisted.
“No, I’m not,” Noelle agreed. “But I know it all the same.”
“I wish you didn’t.” Ram brushed a hand along her arm, then turned her to face him. “I wish everything would sail along smoothly for you, and that everything you’ve ever desired would be yours.”
Tears stung at Noelle’s eyes. No one had ever cared so much about her. How was she possibly going to stay away from Ram, even if it was for his own good?
“We’ll work this out,” Ram insisted.
The faint, distant sound of footsteps on stairs pricked at the back of Noelle’s awareness.
“We’ll find a way to beat Lord Shayles and his rumors, and we’ll have everything we want.”
The steps grew louder. Noelle gasped as she realized what they were. Ram didn’t hear them, though. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her long and deep, as if sealing his promise to her.
The door flew open, rattling on its hinges, while they were still locked together.
“I knew it!” Faye shouted from the doorway.
Ram flinched and stepped back. Noelle’s heart sank.
“What are you doing here?” Ram demanded of his sister-in-law.
“I could ask you the same thing,” Faye said. She turned and shouted down the stairs, “Ajay! Come here at once!” She barely paused before whirling to face Noelle. “I knew you were trouble.”
“Noelle is here at my invitation,” Ram insisted.
“This is my house,” Faye bellowed. “You have no right to invite anyone, least of all whores.”
Noelle flinched, turning her head to the side. She’d hoped never to be called that name again, but now she began to wonder if it would follow her ’til her dying day.
“Noelle is my fiancé.” Ram slipped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her close. “I won’t have you disrespecting her like that.”
A clump and clatter sounded at the bottom of the stairs, signaling that Ajay was on his way up. Faye turned to glance over her shoulder, but as she did, her gaze swept across Ram’s bed. Her already red face burned a deeper shade of maroon.
“What’s that?” she demanded, pointing at Noelle’s carpetbag. “Do you think you’re going to move that shameless hussy into my house?”
“She’s been living here for the better part of a week,” Ram growled.
“No.” Noelle cringed. Ram was only making things worse.
“What’s all this?” Ajay demanded when he reached the top of the stairs. He wasn’t using his peg leg, and his crutch made a clattering racket against the doorframe as he entered Ram’s room.
“Your wastrel brother has been hiding this strumpet under my roof for a week,” Faye told him.
Ajay turned to Ram, his gaze flaming with fury. “How dare you? After everything I told you? After everything I’ve done for you?”
“I am going to marry Noelle,” Ram insisted.
Noelle saw a different set of writing on the wall. She stepped away from Ram, scooping the rest of her things and shoving them into her carpetbag willy-nilly. “I’ll go,” she said in a quiet voice.
“Of course you’ll go,” Faye barked. “Now.”
“And you’ll go too.”
Noelle gasped and straightened at Ajay’s growled command. He stared straight at Ram, a flush painting his dark face.
Ram blinked at him, jaw dropping. “You’re throwing me out?”
“I won’t have an ungrateful fool who can’t even see when a woman is only after his money, my money, living under my roof for another second.”
“But, Ajay.” Ram took a step toward his brother.
Ajay held up his free arm, warding Ram off. He nearly lost his balance as he did. Faye had to catch him to keep him from spilling to the side. “Get out of my sight and out of my house this instant.”
He was talking to Ram, but Noelle acted as though Ajay was dismissing her. She buckled her carpetbag closed, dashed to pluck her coat from the hook where it hung, and darted past Ajay and Faye and down the stairs before any of them could say another word.
“Noelle, wait,” Ram called after her.
Noelle winced as she reached the bottom of the first flight of stairs and twisted around the corner to race down to the ground floor. Ajay’s children were playing in the downstairs sitting room and glanced up as she rushed past, flying out the door and into the icy street. She paused at the street corner, looking this way and that, wondering where she could go.
“Noelle!”
With a painful sigh, Noelle turned, her carpetbag clutched to her chest. “You shouldn’t have followed me, Ram.”
Ram skidded to a stop beside her. His breath puffed into a cloud in the misty evening air. “Ajay is unforgivable, but he’s only angry in the moment.”
“I can’t stake my life on that, Ram,” Noelle said. “I have to believe him and your sister-in-law when they say they don’t like me. And why would they?”
Ram blinked at her in shock. “You’re amazing, that’s why. You’re beautiful and kind and brave.”
Noelle shook her head. “They don’t see it that way. They see an interloper out to get something. And I can’t say I blame them.”
“Well, I do blame them.” He inched closer to her, filling his lungs as though he had much more to say.
“Save your breath, Ram.” Noelle gripped her carpet bag with one hand and pressed the other to his chest. “You’re going to need it to patch things up with your brother.”
“At this point, I’m not interested in patching anything. I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting you.”
He was so determined, so fiery, that a ghost of a smile touched Noelle’s lips in spite of the pain in her gut. “No one has ever wanted to defend me before,” she said, glancing up at him with stinging eyes.
Ram clasped his hands over hers on his chest. “I will always stand up for you. I will protect you and provide for you, if you’d just let me.”
Noelle swallowed the lump in her throat. “I love you for that, Ram. But it was hard enough thinking I was getting in the way of your dream to build a store. I couldn’t live with myself if being with me meant your family turned their backs on you.”
“I don’t care, I—”
“I never had a family,” she rode over him, staring hard into his eyes. “If I had, none of the tragedies of my life would have happened to me. So trust me when I say that family means everything.”
“Not when they’re behaving like asses.”
“Even when they’re behaving like asses,” Noelle insisted. She curled her fingertips into the muscle of his chest as if she would hold onto him forever. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve survived much worse. Go back to your brother and make amends.”
“I won’t—”
“Your dreams depend on it, Ram.” Every part of her throbbed with pain at the thought of leaving him, but her heart hurt to think she was to blame for crushing his dreams and ruining his family ties. She pushed away, taking a step back. “Make things right with your brother. Build your department store and become a rich man. And when you do, hire women like me, women who deserve a second chance.”
He frowned. “That sounds suspiciously like a goodbye.”
It was, but Noelle suddenly found herself unable to open her mouth to admit as much.
Ram stepped closer to her. “This is just a tem
porary storm. Once Ajay calms down, he and I will sit and discuss the matter. I’ll tell him all the things he’s not seeing about how wonderful you really are.” Noelle raised a doubtful eyebrow. “I’ll have Captain Tennant explain things to him as well. Ajay adores Captain Tennant. He’ll listen to what he says.”
A flicker of hope in Noelle’s chest had her drawing in a breath. But in the end, it wasn’t enough to go on.
“I’m not going far,” she told him. “I won’t leave London. Maybe, once we’ve all had a chance to look at things in a rational light, we can meet up again and go forward.” She wouldn’t make any promises about how they could go forward, though.
Something in her countenance must have raised suspicion in Ram. He studied her a little too closely. “Where will you go tonight?” he asked, voice thin.
Guilt and shame made Noelle’s face hot. She thrust her hand into her pocket, touching the smooth card with Lord Shayles’s address on it. She pressed her fingertip into the corner until it hurt.
“I’ll go to a hotel or an inn,” she said. “There’s got to be one nearby that’s affordable.”
Ram continued to watch her like a hawk. “You promise? You’re not planning to go…anywhere else?”
He could see what she was thinking. The look in his eyes was fierce, as if he were already planning a way to save her from the mistakes she felt fated to make. But at the same time, it wasn’t distrustful, at least not in the way he should have been. He simply knew how capable she was of making difficult decisions to stay alive.
“I promise,” she said, meaning it with every bit of her heart. “I will stay at a hotel tonight.”
Ram’s shoulders relaxed. He let out a breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “Go down to the Red Lion Inn,” he told her. “Tom liked you when we were there the other night. And he’s a friend of Captain Tennant’s too. He’ll make sure you’re given a clean room, a hot meal, and that you’re not disturbed.”
An unexpected wave of longing hit Noelle. He was going to let her go, but he was still watching out for her. “I will,” she said. “Which way is it again?”
