by Woods, Emily
“Perhaps, but there's also so much work that there isn't much time for such things. Oh, I still embroider now and then to please myself, but Maddie has no interest. There's still a sampler in my basket that she started on more than two years ago. I suspect it will never be completed.”
Again, the two other women laughed, but Christina couldn't find any humor in it.
“And her husband-to-be isn't...dismayed by her lack of domestic skills?”
A short silence ensued, during which Valerie gave her a dark look, but then Kate brushed off the comment with a dismissive air.
“Not at all. He enjoys the person she is. Now, would either of you care for more tea?”
Since it wasn't her business anyway, Christina didn't bring up the subject again. As the dinner hour approached, Valerie declared that it was time to be on their way. She called to Jessica, who had been playing in the front with the dog, and announced that they would be leaving shortly.
“I want to see how Cole’s doing and if there's anything he needs. Do you mind watching Jessica for five minutes?” Valerie asked Christina as they left.
“Certainly,” Christina replied easily. “Perhaps we'll look for flowers to pick. Shall we do that?”
Jessica practically bounced up and down. “Oh, yes please! We can bring them back and decorate the table tonight. Can we, Mama?”
Valerie gave her consent and the two of them set off in search of flowers. They hadn't gone too far when the familiar-looking ranch hand who had bumped into her yesterday emerged from the bunkhouse, a long look on his face. Although it wasn't usual for her to initiate conversation with strangers, she remembered his kindness and thought it would be polite to enquire after his well-being.
“Oh, I'm fine, thank you, Miss Christina. More to the point, Cole is doing well.”
Even though he was well-mannered, she suspected he was uncomfortable around her. That didn't strike her as surprising, but made her feel more magnanimous.
“I heard you're taking care of him, so that must be credited to you,” she complimented. He gave her a strained smile and nodded.
“Thank you. That's kind.”
Even his voice sounded familiar, and she furrowed her eyebrows ever so slightly. “I already know the answer to this, but I still have to ask. Have we ever met? I mean, you're from the East, aren't you? Perhaps...” But it seemed ludicrous to ask. When and where would they have ever met?
“Perhaps what?” he asked, his face blank. “The East is a big place. It doesn't seem likely that we would have run in the same circles, so to speak.” His voice was suddenly very flat and almost seemed to lose its accent.
“No,” she agreed. “Maybe I met a cousin of yours or something. Do you have any?”
He hesitated a little before answering. “I do, but again, I highly doubt that you would have met any of them. They're all in Pennsylvania. Did you get over there much?”
It seemed to her that he was telling the truth, but as she looked into his icy blue eyes, she couldn't let go of the feeling that he was lying about something. But what and why?
“I have never been. But if I had, I don't suppose it would be to your area.”
She saw his jaw clench as though irritated, but he said nothing more. Was this cowboy with the oddly articulate speech going to attempt to reproach her? And for what? She'd said nothing but the truth.
“Come along, Jessica. Let's see about those wildflowers.”
Without a backward look, she took her niece by the hand and rounded the bunkhouse in search of something pretty to bring back to the house. She would not give the ranch hand another thought.
7
Alex considered himself a mild-mannered person, quite peaceable in fact, but Miss Christina Hillcrest made him want to be less than polite. How dare she condescend to someone because he or she hadn't been born to the same status and privilege? She was the worst kind of snob--one who didn't appreciate what she had.
But then, he wasn't much better. He'd also enjoyed the benefits a wealthy lifestyle offered, but hadn't he basically scorned it by walking away? Guilt settled in the pit of his stomach, but he attempted to alleviate it by promising himself that he would find a way to pay back his grandparents the money he'd wasted on the horse. It might take him a long time, more than a few years, but he'd do it.
In the meantime, he still had to settle the question of whether or not he would tell Luke the truth. He'd learned a lot about the man through conversations with the other hands: he was fair and even kind, but none of them seemed to know anything about a former family. But then again, why would they?
The person he'd have to talk to was Maddie. He thought about approaching Kate, as she was the most likely to know, but the idea seemed too risky and difficult. Maddie, however, popped in as frequently as her day allowed. In fact, he was sure that she would show up soon.
Less than thirty minutes later, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” he called, sure that it was his half-sister. Sure enough, Maddie peeked around the door.
“Is it safe?” she asked with a grin.
He'd quickly grown to like her, and it grated on him that Christina so clearly looked down on her. He'd noticed that during the incident yesterday. When Maddie raced by her, Christina screwed up her nose and stepped back slightly as though she was contagious with some kind of virus.
“Absolutely,” he replied. “And you're in good time.”
“He means I'm conscious,” Cole joked. “I can't believe how much I've been sleeping.”
Alex took a seat at the nearby table to give them a little privacy, but he didn’t leave. Kate was very protective of her children, very loving too. He fervently wished that Luke had taken him along when he'd come out West. He could have had Kate for a stepmother. His life would have been very different. Would he have been a different person as a result? Would he and Cole be best friends? Or maybe Austin? Would…
The room was suddenly silent, and when he looked at Cole and Maddie, they were staring at him with slightly bemused expressions on their faces.
“Sorry, did you ask me something?”
“You seemed a thousand miles away,” Cole joked. “We're just wondering how you like it here. You're from Philadelphia, right?”
“Uh, yes, that's correct. And, um, Maddie, your father is from there as well, is he not?”
She gave him a little grin, sat up straight, and replied, “Why, yes, he does originate from that location.”
Alex didn't catch right away that she was mimicking his speech, but once he did, he brushed it off. He rather liked that she felt comfortable enough to tease him. There was no malice in it. “That's quite all right. It's quite obvious that my way of speaking is peculiar to...y'all.”
Now they laughed, as he'd hoped, to see that he could accept a bit of joking.
“Very good,” Maddie commented. “We'll make a cowboy out of you...if you want.”
He nodded. “I think I do, but I need to know a little more about the way of life. It's vastly different from what I read about...back east.” He repeated that in the hopes of being asked about his reasoning for coming. Thankfully, Maddie took the bait.
“What made you want to come here anyway? Was it just for adventure?”
“Well, that was part of it, I suppose. But I just never felt comfortable in the city. Part of me always longed for wide-open spaces...like your father must have.”
Her face crinkled a little. “That's probably true, but he had other reasons for leaving, sad reasons.”
Not wanting to alarm her with his curiosity, he merely said, “Oh, that's too bad.”
“Yes, well, we all have had hard things happen to us, haven't we?” From there, she launched into her own story, fascinating Alex with a tale of a six-year old who lost first her father, then her home and grandparents in a fire. “I was mute for months when I first came here, but Pa was so patient and kind to me. Once I got on a horse, I was so happy that I found my voice again.”
“He sounds like a good man,” he commented softly. “A good father.”
Her face clouded slightly. “Oh, he really was. And it's not like he had any experience...not really. He took to it very naturally, though.”
The one phrase jumped out at him. “Not really?”
Maddie looked a little distressed. “Uh, you know. Single man, on his own, suddenly looking after a young girl. It took some effort, but I guess he thought it was worth it.” Her face brightened. “And we've had a good life. I haven't always made it easy on them, but everything worked out in the end.”
The moment had passed, but Alex felt he got what he wanted.
Luke had told Maddie and his wife about the family he lost and most likely, the boy he'd left behind. Emotions twisted his heart, part happiness that he hadn't been forgotten, part sorrow for the life he could have had if only his father hadn’t left him.
Somehow, he would find out the rest of the story piece by piece, but he felt quite hopeful about one thing: he would not be rejected in the end.
* * *
Christina felt unreasonably annoyed by the ranch hand, Alex somebody or other. Who was he to judge her anyway? He had no idea what she'd gone through over the past few days, leaving behind her home and all she held dear to come out to this uncivilized land. However, when she thought about it again, she realized that he did know and had done the same thing, but he'd come by choice. Still, she felt he looked down on her, and that was one thing she couldn't tolerate.
While she and Jessica found a few blossoms bold enough to linger past summer, Christina tried not to let her anger show. She never allowed others to see when they'd gotten the best of her, so focusing on her niece helped to divert her feelings.
“That's a lovely color. They'll look beautiful on our dinner table.”
Jessica looked skeptical. “Are you sure I should pick them all? Won't Miss Kate want some?”
Christina had to smile. “That's very thoughtful of you, dear. Your mother raised you well.”
“Jesus said that we need to think of other people, not just ourselves.”
The simple words pierced her heart. How did this wee scrap of a child know the Bible better than she did? Every Sunday since she was a baby, her parents had brought her to church, but she would be hard-pressed to reference more than a handful of verses.
“Do you go to church?” she asked, keeping her voice level.
Jessica shook her head sadly. “Not too often. It takes more than three hours to get there. Pa said it's a lot to do every Sunday, but we go every two months or so.”
It was hard to relate. Whenever she was in church, she wished she could have just stayed home. Why did the girl love it so much? She asked.
Taking a moment, Jessica first examined the flowers and appeared to be giving the question grave consideration.
“Well, the singing is really pretty, and it's better than regular singing because we're telling God how much we love Him.”
“Do you have a favorite song?”
“Oh yes,” Jessica exclaimed. “It's my very favorite and I know all the words by heart.” But instead of telling Christina the name of the song, she began to sing. In a high, clear, and pure voice, she sang “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Christina knew it well, having sung it many times in church, but to hear it coming out of the mouth of a sweet child, whose face was lit with joy, stirred her heart. Without even realizing it, she joined in.
“Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness. Take it to the Lord in prayer.”
Jessica beamed as she sang along with her. When they were done, she did a little lopsided skip.
“You know it! You know my favorite song! Isn't it great?”
The back of her throat clogged with emotion, so all she could do was nod. Jessica clutched her hand and began the song from the beginning, looking hopefully at her aunt, who sang along when she was able. The words flowed over her heart and gave her a peace she'd never known. Was it true, though? Was Jesus a friend? Did He know her sorrows? She felt too overwhelmed to think straight, but kept singing along with her niece until she noticed Valerie standing not too far off with a look of amazement.
Jessica let go of Christina's hand and raced over to her mother.
“Mama! Auntie Chris knows my song! Did you know that she knows it? And she's a really good singer too!”
Valerie nodded, a smile stretching across her face. “Yes, little love. I know she's a good singer, but I'd forgotten.” She looked toward Christina, her eyes tender. “You have a beautiful voice, sister.”
There was a significant gap between the two sisters' belief, and Christina was glad that she said nothing more. It was hard enough to sit through church. She didn't want to endure any preaching from her older sister.
“Are we going home now? Can we sing some more on the way?”
Valerie and Jessica sang the song again and then moved on to a few others that were familiar to Christina, but she claimed not to remember the words. For the entire ride home, she listened to the two of them and tried not to be affected, but it wasn't easy. They sang with such gusto and certainty. What must it be like to have such a faith? She had no idea. To her, God was Someone unreachable, untouchable, more of a notion than an actual Being. And Jesus? He was even more of a mystery, despite all she'd heard her whole life.
It was a relief to get home and get started on cooking dinner. She scraped the carrots vigorously and chopped them within an inch of their lives.
“So, we're having pulverized carrots in our soup, I see,” Valerie remarked lightly. “Something on your mind, Chris?”
Shaking her head, Christina kept her focus on the vegetables, not even commenting on the abbreviation of her name, but then she exclaimed, “I don't understand it. You and I went to the same church growing up, but you have such different ideas about God now. How did that happen?”
Valerie turned from the stove and regarded her for a moment before answering. “I think I always had a deeper longing to know God, and after coming out here, I finally started reading the Bible and everything fell into place.” She paused and smiled a little. “Have you ever done that, Chris? Read the Bible?”
Christina huffed. “Everyone's read the Bible, Val. Don't act so superior.”
“Outside of church?”
Now she couldn't reply in the affirmative. “No, but what's the point? I'm pretty sure I've learned all there is to know.”
“Oh, I don't think so. Will you come to our Tuesday meeting this week? Maybe hearing the other ladies speak will help you to understand.”
Christina was about to say no, that she was too tired, but then she realized it was a pitiful excuse. Besides, she did wonder how her sister had developed such a deep faith.
“Fine, but I don't think it will change my mind. You're too wrapped up in all this religion. It can't be good for you. You need to live your life.”
“Oh, but I am living my life, sis, now more than ever...and it's so much better than it ever was before. It's hard to explain, but once you know it yourself, you'll see that I'm right.”
“I highly doubt it,” she replied with a sniff. “I'm much too level-headed for all that.”
But in her mind, she wasn't so sure. Joy hadn't been a lifelong companion to her, especially not the way her sister lived it, and she didn't think that a meeting with a bunch of religious women would change anything, but she was willing to try it for her sister's sake. Just this once.
8
Long after Christina left with her sister and niece, she lingered in Alex's mind. What a contradiction she was. First, she was being a terrible snob with her assumptions about his background, and then she was singing hymns with her niece. He wondered which side of her was the real Christina and which was the pretender. He tried to tell himself he didn't care, but it wasn't working very well.
Adding to that the fact that she was on the cusp of recognizing him, he knew that he should avoid her. She was a compli
cation he did not want or need right now, but of course, now was when she was filling every available space in his brain.
Releasing a long sigh, he wondered what God would have him do. The thought was foreign, but the more he read and discussed the Bible with Cole and Austin, the more he thought that he was missing something instrumental in his life, and that thing might very well be sincere faith. At first, he thought it was a relationship with his father, and that still could be it, but even when he envisioned himself as an accepted member of the family, he didn't feel the same satisfaction that he had in the past. Before he arrived, he thought if Luke acknowledged him as his son, that would fulfill every wish he'd ever had, but now he wasn’t so sure. There was an aching inside him, a gnawing dissatisfaction he didn’t know how to address.
“That's a pensive look.” Heart pounding, Alex turned to see Luke approaching. “How's the patient? On the mend, I hope?”
“Uh, yes sir. He's doing much better today. Still tired, but in good shape.”
Luke gave him a half-grin. “No need to call me sir. I'm just Luke out here. But still best to address the women more formally. They seem to like that.”
“Yes sir,” he replied automatically, then shook his head. “Sorry. Hard habit to break.”
“Kate tells me that you're well-educated. It's pretty clear from the way you speak, so what brings you out here?”
Tell him, his mind said. Just tell him the truth!
“I, uh, wanted to try something different. Well, and actually, I was hoping to...to, uh, make a new life for myself.”
Luke raised an eyebrow. “I've always thought education was the way to go. I would have done that if I could have, but I had neither the brains nor the money. I'm hoping Lucas will go away to school. He's got the mind for it, but he says he just wants to stay and work on the ranch. I don't know. It's in God's hands.”
Alex didn't reply right away. How could he move from this conversation to something deeper, something that would give him a sign that he should confess who he was right then and there?
