I looked down at my watch again and swore. I would officially be late. As the students started emptying into the hallways, I decided that I would need to go straight to class without stopping at my locker. I jogged to the other side of the school where my class was, hoping that the teacher would be forgiving. As I did, a stray thought entered my head. I had technically now hooked up with Majestic. I had also hooked up with Darcy, Morgan, Mandi, and El Diablo. That was five down of the 11 girls on my Hookup List. Without even intending to at times, I was steadily checking the girls off.
I smiled. I was proving Sadie wrong. Girls that she claimed would never give me the time of day were now so desperate to make out with me that they were ambushing me in public. I was going to enjoy proving Sadie wrong and firmly establishing myself as the new king of the school. Best of all, once I had done that I would be just like Aaron.
Chapter 29 – Broken Heart
I was still congratulating myself on my progress with the hookup list – not to mention avoiding getting a tardy by flirting a bit with the teacher – when I left my first class of the day. When I suddenly heard a female voice say my name, I turned around happily, wondering if maybe another chick had decided that she wanted to make out with me as well.
I saw Trinity London’s face. I felt a moment of confusion and then a surge of adrenaline when I realized that she was talking to me.
“Hey Nate,” she said again. “How are you?”
“Uh, good,” I said. “What are you up to?”
“Just going to class,” Trinity said. We started walking together down the hallway. I couldn’t help but glance over at her sweet, genuine smile. “How are things with the varsity soccer team going? My brother says that you’re really good.”
Bryson had said that? That must have really hurt the guy to admit. “It’s going well,” I said. I tried to settle into my usual cool, confident demeanor. I didn’t know why that was so hard to do with Trinity around. “My fist game with the guys is coming up early next week. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Wonderful,” Trinity said excitedly. “I’ll be there to watch Bryson, of course. I can’t wait to see you play.”
Crap. I wish she hadn’t said that. I suddenly had visions of me tripping over the ball in front of her.
“Great,” I said, trying to fake my enthusiasm. “How about running? When’s your next meet?”
“I’m running tonight,” Trinity said. “It’s a home meet so you can come and watch if you’re interested…”
“I’ll be there,” I said far too quickly. I cursed myself silently. Why did my game suddenly fall apart around this girl?
Trinity looked surprised but she said, “Great! Make sure you cheer me on! I need all the help I can get.”
“I will,” I promised. I had never meant anything more in my life.
“Oh, and Nate,” she said. “About the whole Darcy thing…”
My heart sank.
“Don’t be embarrassed about it, okay?” Trinity said. “I know there’s two sides to every story. Plus, I know that girls can, at times, get overly dramatic about things. I just wanted to let you know that, okay? Don’t feel bad. Alright, I’ve got to go this way. I’ll look for your out on the course tonight!”
As soon as Trinity walked away I struggled to restrain an almost overwhelming urge to pump my fist in the air with joy. The girl truly was an angel. The Darcy incident was an albatross around my neck when it came to Trinity and she had neatly done away with it. She was amazing.
After a few moments, however, reality set in. I realized that Trinity had probably approached me for the sole reason of making me feel less embarrassed about what she had witnessed between me and Darcy. She had only spoken to me because she felt pity for me and she was a kind-hearted girl. It had nothing to do with her being attracted to me. Now I had promised to go out to watch her run like some sort of sad, pathetic loser who was creeping on a girl.
I was stuck. If I did go out to watch her run, I would be playing into the helpless loser image. If I didn’t go after promising her, I might recover some of my cool, aloof image but I would be breaking a promise that I had made to her. No, I couldn’t very well do that. What I needed was at least one friend to go with me to make me seem less pathetic. But who? I could force Liam to do it but as a gay guy I didn’t think he’d enjoy watching chicks run. Cross-country running wasn’t exactly the most exciting spectator sport. Plus, I didn’t really want to ask him for a favor so soon after attacking his brother. I could ask Sam but he was Mr. Popular and almost certainly had other plans. I couldn’t very well invite a girl to come with me or Trinity would think that I was hooking up with her. I was already on thin ice with Trinity as a result of the Darcy incident; I couldn’t risk outing myself as a total player to her. With Liam, Sam, and all the girls in the school out of the picture, my list of friends at Lakeville was almost depleted. The only other guy that came to mind was David.
The thought of inviting David to do something with me made me feel uneasy. It was one thing to reluctantly acquiesce to an invitation from him, like the one he had made to destroy me in a morning run. It was an entirely different matter to request a favor from him.
I struggled with the idea for a few minutes and then decided against it. I didn’t want to owe David or the Reagans anything. Then I realized that, if it was a cross-country meet, David was probably running as well. There was no way he would be able to watch with me.
As I mulled over the problem, another thought occurred to me. There was actually one person who I could ask while still looking like a free agent. Better yet, it was someone who pretty much had to help me out. I smiled with relief. Yes! I had found a way out of my predicament.
That night I stood on a hill in the field behind the school waiting for the runners to come. I rubbed my hands together excitedly, looking forward to seeing Trinity. I was still wearing my soccer gear from practice and the Lakeville varsity uniform was actually pretty cool. If Trinity saw me, she would definitely be impressed. It was perfect.
“Remind me again why I’m here,” Sadie said.
I looked over at her. Sadie had her arms crossed and she was giving me a piercing stare.
“I told you, I want to do a girl a favor by cheering her on at the meet,” I said.
“Yeah, no, I get why you’re here,” Sadie said. “You are an absolute idiot boy who is looking for another hookup. Why exactly did I have to come?”
“You’re my wing woman,” I said.
“Come again?” Sadie asked.
“Wing woman,” I said. “I couldn’t very well come on my own. That wouldn’t look cool. I didn’t know any dudes who would want to come to a cross-country meet and if I brought another chick that would kinda defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?” I didn’t know why she didn’t understand this. It all seemed perfectly reasonable to me.
Confusion clouded Sadie’s face. “But I’m a chick… girl,” she said.
I shook my head. “No, you’re my brother’s girlfriend,” I explained. “It’s totally safe for a younger brother to hang out with his older brother’s GF. Plus, you owe me.”
“I owe you?” Sadie said in a strangled voice. “How do I owe you?”
“You’re a girl, so you naturally have these girlish little fantasies about marrying my brother,” I said. “In these fantasies, Aaron’s family is naturally supportive of the idea, so you need us to like you. Therefore, if I ask you a favor, your female brain tells you that you need to help me out. That’s how you owe me.”
I turned back around to look for signs of the first runners. It was silent for a few moments. Then Sadie said, “I should strangle you.”
“But you won’t,” I said cheerfully. “Aaron, remember? Now shut up and be a good wing woman.”
There was another moment of silence, during which time I was pretty sure that Sadie was actually contemplating strangling me. Finally, I heard her let out an “Agh,” that told me she had dismissed the idea – probably solely for fear of
reprisal from the criminal justice system – and she stepped up beside me to watch.
“At least this shouldn’t be a total waste,” Sadie said. “I haven’t been out to cheer on David Reagan for a long time.” Then, for some reason, she blushed.
I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. Why the blush? Then I recalled something that El Diablo had said when I first met her.She had admonished Sadie for claiming to “own” so many of the boys in the school. David as one of the boys she mentioned. Had something gone on with Sadie and David? No, there was no way she had made out with both of my brothers and me. That blush, however, was unmistakable. I had seen it when I caught Sadie searching through my room last year and accused her of having a crush on Aaron. That was her guilty, “I like a boy” look.
“You hussy, you hooked up with David too!” I exclaimed.
Sadie’s eyes widened in horror and I knew my hookup intuition was right.
“Was it before or after you started dating Aaron?” I asked.
“Before!” Sadie said so loudly that several other spectators turned their heads to look at us. “Before,” Sadie continued more quietly. “David was one of the guys on my kiss list, okay? Yes, we hooked up a few times, but that was over long before Aaron and I started dating. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal? No big deal!” I cried. “You’ve hooked up with both of my brothers and kissed me and it’s no big deal?”
I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. Sadie’s brow instantly furrowed. “Both your brothers? What are you talking about?” she asked quickly.
I wanted to slap myself. I had not intended to open the door to talk about the Reagan family with Sadie.
“Nate, you didn’t find out who your real father is... did you?” Sadie asked.
“Aaron didn’t tell you?” I asked. I was surprised. Sadie and Aaron seemed so into each other that I had assumed they told each other everything. Aaron had obviously told her that I had a different, unknown father.
“No, he didn’t,” Sadie said with a frown. “Have you talked to him about it? Wait, hang on, I’m getting ahead of myself. Are you suggesting that David’s dad is your dad? That you’re brothers?”
“No and yes,” I said. “I haven’t talked to Aaron about it yet but I’m sure my mother told him about it. And yeah, Matt Reagan and my mom admitted that I am Matt’s son.”
Sadie whistled. “How did you take that news?” she asked.
I shrugged. “It doesn’t really mean anything to me,” I said. “I haven’t had a real father my whole life. Matt is not going to suddenly start being one now.”
“I understand if you need to take a while to process this,” Sadie said. Of course she would think that I needed a daddy. Typical girl. “I really think this is something you should talk to Aaron about as well. I wonder if he hasn’t told me yet because he feels a little sensitive about it. You two are pretty close and maybe now he feels like he has to share his little brother.”
I snorted. Another typical girl response – over analyzing relationships. There was no way Aaron was insecure. He wasn’t insecure about anything.
“Look, I really don’t want to talk about this,” I said. “I came here to watch Trinity.”
“Ugh, boys,” Sadie said in exasperation. “I know you’re not as unemotional as you pretend to be.”
Whatever. I ignored Sadie as she prattled on. Soon the males came running by. Sadie and I cheered for David, who was close to the front, though he didn’t seem to notice us. Then came the girls. I waited eagerly for Trinity.
Then I saw her. She was gliding over the ground gracefully in the top quarter of the pack. I began yelling and clapping with Sadie. For a moment her head turned a fraction of an inch and her eyes met mine. Her lips curled into a little smile and then she was gone.
“Did you see that? Did you?” I cried excitedly. “She saw me! She was happy to see me. Yes!”
Sadie gave me an incredulous stare. “Since when are you this excited about a girl?” She asked. “I thought you were Mr. Play It Cool.”
“Shush,” I said. “Let’s go back to the finish area. Maybe we can catch her for a moment and talk to her.”
“Oh no, I don’t think so, Romeo,” Sadie said. “I’ve done what you asked. Your little crush saw me with you. I’ve done you a favor. Now you’re flying solo.”
It was probably for the best that Sadie left. As I was walking up to the finish area, I picked out Trinity amidst the throng of girls and was instantly glad that Sadie was not around to butt in. I wanted to talk to Trinity all on my own.
Trinity’s eyes lit up when she saw me. “Nate! Thanks for coming!” she said breathlessly. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a quick hug. The move surprised me and the sudden touch of her skin against mine almost caused my knees to buckle.
“No problem,” I managed to get out. “Hey, you did awesome! You’re a fantastic runner.”
“Aw, thanks,” Trinity said. Her face could seem so kind that it was shocking. She looked down at herself and then back at me. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I got sweat all over you. I must look terrible.”
Nothing could be further from the truth. Trinity looked like a supermodel. Her blue eyes gleamed and her golden hair shone in the sun. I was mesmerized.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” I asked. “Help you carry your warm ups back? Get you some water?” Give you a message? I wanted to ask that but knew I couldn’t. She could always be the one to ask for it though…
Trinity opened her mouth to respond and then someone yelled, “Hey London!”
A tall, lean, athletic African American guy suddenly appeared. He wore a fancy navy polo with white stripes at the sleeves and a popped collar. Before I could say anything he strode right up to Trinity, bent down, and planted a kiss on her lips.
A crushing wave of disappointment slammed into me. I stupidly watched the two of them kiss, unable to move my feet or say anything. As the kiss ended, Trinity turned back to me. “Nate, do you know Jamal?” she asked.
Jamal, with one hand still wrapped around Trinity’s waist, glanced at me. “Hey man, what’s up?” he said as he offered his other hand.
“Hey man,” I said in response as I numbly shook his hand.
“Well, I need to go cool down,” Trinity said. “Do, um, either of you guys want to come with me?”
“No, no, you two go ahead,” I said. “I, uh, I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Okay, thanks again for coming, Nate!” Trinity said. “See you around school?”
“Nice to meet you, man,” Jamal said.
The two of them left and I finally found the strength to move my feet. I slowly plodded back to school, feeling like my heart had just been torn to pieces.
Chapter 30 – Churchill Girls
I just wanted to get in my car and drive home without having to talk to anyone. Unfortunately, as I was leaving the finish area, I ran into the Reagans.
David was putting on a pair of wind pants while his dad, sister, and a woman who appeared to be his mother talked to him. The other three's backs were turned to me but David looked up and caught my eye. “Nate!” he said immediately.
The rest of his family turned to look at me. I carefully avoided meeting his mother’s eyes. That would have been too awkward to take. I nodded in David’s direction and kept walking, hoping that they would not stop me and try to start up a conversation.
No such luck. Faith called out, “Nate, come talk to us! David and I just finished our races.”
“Sorry, I need to get back home,” I replied loudly. I picked up my pace.
I heard footsteps behind me and a moment later Faith appeared at my side. “How are you?” she asked. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since… since… well, you know.”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I said.
We walked on in silence for a moment. Then Faith said, “This isn’t easy for any of us either, you know.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, that must be very difficult,” I said. “I’m not sure what I can do about it, though.”
Faith suddenly stopped walking. I turned to face her. She looked upset.
“I’m not asking you to do anything about it,” Faith said. “My dad’s an adult; he can deal with his own issues. I just wanted to tell you because you’re my friend and friends tell each other things. I was hoping… you know, that maybe you’d understand where I was coming from and know that it’s okay to talk to me too.”
Maybe it was the fact that I had just witnessed a girl I really liked making out with another guy or maybe it was the awkwardness of the dad situation, but I wasn’t up to having the conversation Faith wanted to have at that moment.
“Faith, you are my friend,” I said. “But Matt Reagan is not my dad in anything but blood and that’s the way I want it to stay. There, is that what you wanted me to share with you?”
I instantly regretted speaking so harshly to her. I knew she honestly wanted to help me. It was like there was a part of me that wanted to punish the rest of the world by shutting it out. I realized that it was a destructive desire but I didn’t how to get rid of it.
Faith looked hurt. All she said, however, was, “I know that you’re hurting. I think that you really need to go talk to someone about it. If you can’t talk to me, find someone else. Your brother Aaron, a friend from your old school – anyone. Okay, I’ll go now.”
And then she left. I opened my mouth to apologize but the words just wouldn’t come out.
If I couldn’t find it in me to apologize, perhaps I could make it up to her in another way. “Faith,” I called out to her. She turned back to look at me. “Do you want to hang out this weekend? Maybe go for a walk and get some ice cream or something?”
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