by JL Madore
Rows of rosebushes and elaborate wooden arbors laden heavy with multicolored blooms stretched before me. It seemed impossible that eight months had passed since I’d last been here, when Galan and Jade had rescued me from the netherworld. Rescued was a deceiving term.
They escorted my spirit back to my body lying vacant and uninhabited, but even yet, I never felt whole.
Fighting the wave of emotions about to overwhelm me, I drew deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. Again. And once more. I called on the strength of Mika’s Earth Spirits and focused on the power of her Earth Mother as healing breaths filled my lungs. Better.
“Miss?”
I screeched and spun.
One of the Palace help, a stableman by the look of him, froze upon the garden path behind me. A brawny male, squat in stature, stood a fair distance off, holding his hands open.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you, Miss. You have a visitor.”
I looked around. “Me? You mistake me, sir, I—”
He raised a beefy finger along the path from whence he came and pointed. “No, mistake. The gentleman asked for you by name, Miss Lia. Described your silver locks. Paid me five copper to fetch you.”
He shrugged his broad shoulders, dropping his gaze. “I would’ve done it for nothing when my work was done, but he insisted it be now. Seems distraught, the poor fellow, more than usual.”
“I see. So, who is it?”
“Master Murray.”
I shook my head.
“A Celt. Had a string of bad luck last year and stayed here for a while for safekeeping. Didn’t seem to want to talk much, but spent quite a lot of time walking the grounds. Can’t do much of that now, though, blind as he is.”
“Ah, yes, Samuel.” I glanced back to the palace. I was still barefoot. What did it matter? There were more important things happening after all. “Very well, where is he?”
“In the arbor, up a’ways. I’ll walk you. It’s on my way back to the paddock.”
I drew in a slow breath. Though testing the air for any hint of fetid musk or deceit, there was none. The stableman gave off the richest scents of horse, hay and the pungent aroma of a male who had worked hard on a sunny day.
I missed that.
As hard as the people of Haven worked, few males knew the blessings of filling their days tending stock. Their hands rarely felt callused, their banded muscles not earned from physical labor but from exercise machines in a training center.
“Very well, sir. Lead the way.” We walked side by side, he on the stone walk and me on its grassy edge. “Queer how the weather rebounded after the violent skies earlier.”
He glanced at the cerulean sky. “It happens that way at times. When the sky blackens, it’s best to keep your head down and wait for the storm to pass.”
We walked on, speaking cordially about the grounds and his duties. He had a lovely manner and I decided his sturdy frame would be an asset when handling horses.
“Here we are, Miss. The end of our journey.”
I curtsied, then stepped under the arched entrance to an iron gazebo grown over with creeping vines and brilliant blooms of violet, fuchsia and ivory. Before entering fully, I peeked inside. Samuel sat on a marble reflection bench, looking pale as pastry dough.
“Samuel?”
His head snapped to my voice. “You came. Thank you.” He stood, hesitated, scrubbing his palms on the thighs of his slacks. “Especially after this morning.”
Ah yes. “When you swore you never need speak to me again?” I stepped further inside the arbor and clasped my hands. “Yet here you are.”
He sighed. “Aye. Here I am.”
“What is it you want?”
“Jade.” His voice broke and he swallowed. “I need to know . . . how is she?”
I took a step back. “That is private. A family matter. You have no right to—”
He raised his hand in the air between us. “Nobody at Haven knows a damn thing and I couldna wait around. I thought, maybe you’d know more.”
I laughed and stepped further into the shade of the arbor. “And you thought me so genteel I would ease your suffering after you cursed me and the entire Highborne race? Or mayhap you think me as addled from capture as the rest? I assure you, Samuel Murray, I have the good sense to know—”
Both his hands rose. “I’m sorry I offended you.”
“And yet you offend me further by asking me to betray my brother’s confidence. Have you no propriety?”
He scowled. “Fuck propriety. I’m outta me head here.”
“Is that my burden? Galan is my brother. Jade is his life.”
“She was my life first!” The echo of his voice died off, followed by a tormented silence. He took a tentative step forward and cursed under his breath. “I canna turn off my feelings like a switch just because the Fates say I’m no the one to love her. I would if I could.”
He scrubbed his hands roughly over his face and through his hair, leaving black tufts standing on end. “It would be a shit-load simpler not to die more every time I’m reminded she’s his now.”
“And yet you—”
“Life is messy,” he said. “I’m no enjoying any of this.”
“Then let her go.”
He barked a laugh and shook his head. “Ye’ve obviously never been in love, because ye dinnae get it. I pictured a future with Jade. In my mind, I bought the lot, built the house and moved us in, bairns, a wee doggy, the whole nine yards. In an instant, it was gone.” Staggering back, his leg touched the bench and he sank down and buried his head in his hands.
Though I had no use for the man, the smoky stench of his anguish was more than I could bear. I moved to the bench and sat next to him. “We have a saying in our village, Lle mela ya llemela—You love whom you love.”
Whether human or elf, suffering was suffering. And Samuel, indeed, suffered. “Verily there is little the mind and body can do when someone captures your soul. And for the loss of your love, my heart goes out to you.”
His jaw clenched. “So ye understand why I must know.”
“But Galan is my blood—”
“Do ye want me to beg?” He sank to the ground before me, his breath ragged. “Never have I begged for anything, but if ye want it—”
“No. No male should be made to beg and certainly not a warrior of noble character.” I pulled him by the elbow until he settled next to me again and sighed. “Jade is resting. The tear on her insides has been mended and her blood level restored.”
“And the weens?”
“Weens?”
“The wee bairns. The twins.”
“The young are . . . in peril.”
“How bad?”
My voice died in my throat as I envisioned Jade thrashing. “When the student attacked Jade, he used a high-powered stunning device. The jolt of current upset the energy balance of her powers. They cannot control the surging. The young are under a great deal of stress. Their survival is doubtful. Castian’s caregivers told her to prepare for their loss.”
With elbows on his knees, he dropped his head into his hands. After a long moment, he cleared his throat. “Ye may not believe me but, no matter what I wanted for Jade and me, I never wanted anything to happen to her, those babies or yer brother.”
Warm tears dripped silently off my jaw. His agony and despair tingled bitter in my nostrils, his pain almost palpable in the air between us but the truth of his words burned sweet. “You love her to that depth?”
His mouth narrowed into a thin line. “When will they know more?”
“They want her to rest undisturbed for several weeks, possibly a full moon cycle. If the young survive until then, well, we must needs wait and see.”
He punched the bench, the surface vibrating beneath me. “I hate feeling so feckin’ useless. I cannae comfort, Jade. I cannae help with the search to find the bastard who did this. I cannae do a goddamn thing.” Samuel stared straight ahead. In the long stretch of quiet, I watched the m
uscle in his jaw twitch.
I closed my tear-blurred eyes and sent Castian a prayer.
“Here. It’s clean.” Samuel held out a crumpled, ivory handkerchief with a plaid ribbon embroidered on one corner.
I wiped my eyes, cheeks and nose as delicately as possible. “Gratitude, how did you—”
“I’m blind, lass. My other senses work just fine.”
I bit my lip, stifling my urge to respond. We sat there, in sad silence, for a long while. I too felt useless and adrift. “What if there was something we could do?”
His brow creased as he laughed at me. “Are ye a healer, then? Or should the blind man join the search for the Scourge mole, maybe infiltrate Abaddon’s compound again?”
I shot him a scathing look and realized my expression was lost on him. “Knowing Jade, she will worry how her recovery time will affect her students so close to their examinations. She has spoken many times to your skills as an instructor of the Academy—”
“Past tense,” he muttered. “I’m not that man anymore.”
“You could be. The student-filled castle halls would be difficult to maneuver in your current condition, but if—”
“Forget it.” Launching to his feet, he raised his palm to the latticed screen covering the arbor wall and stepped away. “If I can’t see, I can’t teach.”
“Why not?”
His shoulders stiffened. “Aside from bumping into the desks, not seeing a raised hand and not being able to write on the feckin’ white board, an instructor needs to command the respect of his students to retain control. I cannae do it.”
“Pish posh, you are afraid to look a fool. Nothing more.”
“Have me figured out, do ye?” His hands clenched in white knuckled fists. “Well, my motivations are none of your goddamn business—”
“But they are.”
He glared toward me. “How do ye figure?”
“You wish to help Jade. I do as well. Aust can take up her Herbology classes, but what does he know about Realm History or the Theory of Healing Through Affinities?”
“Those aren’t my specialties eith—”
“I realize that!” I stretched my fingers and softened my tone. “If I were your aide in the physical aspects of teaching, you could instruct. It is not ideal, but it would be of comfort to Jade to know her classes were taken care of. And it would raise her spirits to know you were in a classroom once again.”
Samuel’s blank stare froze on me while the breeze stirred the scent of his conflict. “Why would ye do it?”
“Why would I not? Jade has been a true and loving sister since the day she and Galan were mated. I can do no other than to be the same for her.”
He cocked an ebony brow. “Your brother will blow a gasket when he finds out we’re working together.”
“I should think that fact alone would inspire you to accept.”
His mouth twitched up at the corners and after a moment he nodded. “All right. I’ll speak to Reign and we’ll give it a try. Don’t get yer hopes up, though. This is going to blow up in both our faces.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“Nyssa!” Aust’s frazzled cry came Ella’s nursery at the back of Nyssa and Iadon’s suite. With the high pitch of his plea, I could only imagine what calamity he faced this time.
Nyssa and I covered our mouths with wine-stained fingers and tried to muffle our laughter. With the back of my sleeve, I wiped the sweat from my brow and pushed my hair from where it stuck to my face. Dying hide was laborious work, but Iadon needed our aid.
It took mere weeks for his skills as a leatherworker and craftsman to transform the modest tailor shop the males renovated into a roaring Haven mercantile. It seemed everyone wanted a gown, robe or cloak tailored by Iadon.
Myself included.
He and I had discussed, in length, the changeover to my adult wardrobe now that my sixtieth birthing day had passed. I was an adult now. I wanted to reinvent myself, draw an appraising eye, shuck the modesty of youth and embrace my feminine form.
So today, while he manned the workshop and finished sewing the platinum clasps and fur trim on a commissioned velvet cloak, we readied six large skins for the project. We had finished with the midnight blue and had moved on to dye the remaining leather the deepest mulberry we could manipulate. What we achieved was a rich mulberry wine.
The fragrance of crushed berries mixed with bloodroot, smooth sumac, mountain alder and red wine filled the suite with a humid steam and mouthwatering ambrosia.
Nyssa made to put down the wooden paddles we used to lift and stir the steaming caldron, but I stopped her. “Fash not,” I said, wiping my hands on my apron. “Mayhap he simply taped his fingers into the diaper again. Let me go.”
Nyssa leaned close so our shoulders touched. “Last time he mixed the powder with the cream and Ella’s backside was caked with the most awful goop you could imagine.”
“Elven hearing,” Aust called from the back hall. “Here is a thought—instead of ribbing the male who is changing the young, would it not be kinder to aid him?”
I giggled again and set the rag close enough for Nyssa to grab, if need be. “Coming.”
The emergency, though I am not sure it could truly be called one, became apparent the moment I rounded the corner and entered the small pink room smattered with rosebuds.
“By Shalana’s grace.” I clamped my hand over my mouth and quaked with laughter.
Aust stood covered from waist to eyebrows in a massive splatter of pea-green poop.
I raised my sleeve to my face, my eyes streaming, partly from the ridiculous scene, but more so from the nostril-singeing aroma. Try as I might I was powerless to aid him as he stood, arms extended, covered in excrement. “Oh, Aust, apologies, but you smell like Harilyn’s goat pile.”
He raised a hand, freeing a chunk of golden hair stuck to the waste pasted to the side of his face. “I was almost to the cream part when the wee little monster made the strangest face. When her cheeks reddened I thought she might cry so I leaned in. I only meant to raspberry her bare belly, but during my approach . . . this occurred.”
Another wave of hysteria racked me. “Nyssa,” I called, leaning toward the open door, “the praxle juice worked out Ella’s little problem.”
“Oh, fabulous.” Nyssa’s voice grew louder as she strode toward us. I stepped aside and let her pass. “I hoped—Oh Aust, love, what did she do to you?”
Ella took that moment to let out an angelic squeal, her chubby little fist wedged deep in her mouth. Stumpy legs kicked and bucked in the air at the sight of her naneth.
Nyssa relieved Aust of his duties. With a clean diaper on Ella’s bottom, she snatched a fresh jumper from the dresser and eased it over the baby’s golden curls. “Aust, take your clothes off and get into the shower.”
He hesitated.
Nyssa lifted Ella to her shoulder and frowned. “Do not guard yourself here. We love you, now and always. Now go clean yourself up.”
Nyssa pointed to the rabbit clock on the shelf by the crib. “Lia, you need to be going too.”
Aust tugged the tie of his soiled tunic, shrugged his shoulders and let the garment fall to the hardwood with a flap. The lacings of his leathers were next. After stripping bare, he stepped over the mound of fouled fabric.
“Where are you off to, sweeting?” he asked and headed up the hall.
I followed him as he sauntered along, hands raised as not to sully Nyssa’s walls. Though Aust remained self-conscious of the faint tiger stripes which appeared ankle to shoulder last fall, they were quite exotic.
Reaching around him to get the door, I slid into the bathing-room first and cleared his path. Leaning into the shower stall, I turned on the water and tested the stream until the temperature warmed. “While Jade is Behind the Veil recovering, I volunteered to assist with some of her classroom duties.”
“One of the classes I took over? I have nothing scheduled until tomorrow morning.” Aust was only half listening as he leaned close t
o the mirror and examined his splatter-covered face. His chest bounced in amusement.
The sight lightened my heart. It had been months since he had laughed. Before his father was killed. Before he left on his Ambar Lenn. Life here at Haven suited him. “I am happy to aid you as well, but today I am in one of the other classes.”
The air began to warm and I retrieved two fresh towels from the corner cabinet and set them out. I busied myself washing my hands.
He stepped into the shower and closed the glass door. “Forgive me, little one, but are you up to it? Your headaches—”
I raised a hand. “Please. I am not as delicate as everyone seems to believe.”
He narrowed his gaze, his brow rising in a smooth arc. Lathering the soap in his hands, he rubbed his chest clean. “That may be true, but the castle can be loud and chaotic.”
“One of the things I love most about it.”
Aust’s eyes rolled closed as he tipped his head back. Water cascaded over his shoulders and down his body, rinsing the suds toward the drain. After a moment, he laughed again. “Tham would have loved seeing what Ella did to me.”
Milling my hands into a sudsy froth under the vanity faucet, I laughed too. “The teasing would never have ended. No one relished a calamity like Tham.”
A long silence overtook the conversation and I gave up on ridding my fingers of the dye.
Aust’s gaze met mine, filled with compassion and sadness and love. In one moment, with one look, I felt like a child again, weak and unsure. Gods, we all lost so much.
I sent a prayer to the gods to watch over Galan, Jade and the young. How I wished everything was well and they were home and not still at Castian’s palace. Reaching for a towel I cleared my throat. “Tell me, how fares your courting of the beautiful Bree?”
Water washed over Aust’s back-tilted head as he ran his palms over his forehead and smoothed his hair. He sighed. “Bree is wonderful. Lovely. Warm.”
“But?”
“But her coyote self, her animal side, has yet to be won over. After being orphaned as a child, her Were instinct is to claim a dominant, alpha male as her mate.”
