by C. A. Harms
Chapter Twenty Three
LIZ
“He is just so tiny,” I said as I lifted little Luke from his bassinet and held him securely against me. “It’s hard to believe that Victoria was ever this small.”
I move across the bedroom and sit on the bed next to Nicole. Ryker had made a choice to confine her to the bedroom, safely tucked in bed during her recovery. The doctor didn’t set those rules, he did. I thought it was adorable, she of course found it severely annoying.
“He is the polar opposite of Tori that’s for sure.” Nicole says, “remember the set of lungs she had when she got pissed?” We both laughed, do I ever, it was so loud. “ She still has those lungs, so I guess time didn’t change that. He’s just so quiet all the time.”
“I’m so happy for you,” I tell her as I look down at the tiny little boy in my arms. “You have an amazing family, a loving husband, the sweetest little girl and now this little guy.”
“I’m happy for you too,” she replies causing me to look up at her wondering what she could be referring to. “Letting go of that fear you’ve hard for as long as I can remember wasn’t easy for you, I know. But you’ve opened your heart and the happiness it’s brought you is something any person who truly knows you couldn't miss. You deserve this Liz, and so much more.”
She was right, it wasn’t easy. Some days I still find myself questioning my choice to let Ben in. I know now it was more a fear of losing what we have than questioning it. I never wanted to remember what it was like before him, before us.
“Ben is a good man,” I say confidently. “He was right, I didn't have hope when it came to avoiding him. He is dedicated.”
I smile when she laughs. She knew what I meant because she had one just like him.
Luke began to fuss and made the cutest little suckle noises, which meant he was hungry. I turned toward Nicole and began to lower him in her arms just as Ryker entered the room.
“That boy is just like his daddy, because that too is one of my favorite places to be.” He chuckled when Nicole glared at him. “What? I’m just being honest.”
“On that note,” I say as I stand up and move out of the way so Ryker can position the pillow beneath Nicole’s elbow. “I’m gonna get to work, but I’ll stop by later to get my baby fix.”
“You wouldn't need a baby fix if you faced the fact that you were born to be a momma too.”
I ignored Nicole’s words as I exited the room and began walking toward the front door. What was it with people, first Ben and now Nicole. We’d only been together a couple months, yes we’ve known one another longer, but still it was entirely too soon. We were nowhere near marriage and babies territory.
But it was a nice thought to dream about.
I did something I hadn’t done in a while as I drove across town to the center. I rolled down the windows and turned up the radio as I sang along to the lyrics.
As I turned the corner off of Cullman onto Main, the traffic was backed up more than this small town of Arab usually sees. Turning my stereo down, I leaned out my window enough to look passed the traffic ahead and was able to see flashing lights up ahead.
Main was notorious for fender benders due to those that chose to blow through the stop signs on the crossing roads that intersected. I knew most likely I’d be exactly where I was for a bit, so I placed my car in park and picked up my phone.
Me: I was thinking that I’d cook for you tonight.
I typed out the message and hit send. I knew Ben was working, but on his break he’d respond.
I look up from my phone at the sound of an approaching ambulance as it whizzed by toward the flashing lights. Chills covered my arms and neck as the severity of the accident became clear. A second ambulance approached, wearing through traffic and speeding ahead.
Deciding that it was best to call the center and warn them of my delay I quickly dialed and held the phone to my ear.
“Arab Youth Center,” Katie the college intern answers. The normal spunkiness was vacant from her voice.
“Hey Katie, it’s Liz,” I say and before I can say anything more she immediately starts talking again.
“Liz, it’s Brayden and his sister,” at the mention of Brayden and Khloe those chills returned instantly. “They were struck by a man that ran a red light.”
“What do you mean, struck?” I could feel the tightness in my chest making it hard to breath evenly. “Are they okay?”
“I don’t know,” she said and I could tell she was now crying. “Sam went outside to help the delivery driver unload the new chairs for the game room and he saw it all happen. They were crossing the road and some idiot ran the light.”
I was gripping the phone so tight my hand had begun to sweat.
“Sam said that Brayden’s sister attempted to push him out of the way, but he was still hit. Sam ran to help and I don’t know anything more, I just know that it’s bad Liz. Real bad.” Katie was now crying harder.
I was already looking for somewhere to pull my car over and out of traffic. It was as if I was moving without thought, the need to get to them was overpowering my actions. Ben’s face flashing in my mind and the thought that he had already suffered such a loss, he didn't need another. Khloe and he were close.
“I’m on my way,” I tell Katie as I end the call and grab my purse and keys from the ignition. I practically ran down Main toward the flashing lights, my throat burning in the process. With each step the panic within me grew.
As I reached the front of the center, I could barely breathe. Bending at the waist, I took in a deep breath trying to regain some control. My emotions took over as the scene before me unfolded and I realized just how terrible it was.
Brayden was being loaded onto a gurney, but he was thrashing from side to side, screaming Khloe’s name. The paramedics did their best to calm him but he was wild with worry.
I scanned the street in search of what he’d seen and when my gaze landed on Kloe, my knees buckled and I collapsed to the ground. A deep ache settled in my stomach as they slowly began to pull the white sheet upward and draped it over Kloe’s body. I think I may have cried out ‘no’, but it honestly didn't even sound like my voice.
Brayden screamed out as well and the agony broke me. She was all he had and now she was gone.
There I sat on the sidewalk outside the center, tears rolling over my cheeks unable to look away. I had never in my life witnessed anything as heartbreaking as what took place before me and I couldn’t move.
Oh my god, I couldn't breath.
Chapter Twenty Four
BEN
“I think if we moved this from here,” I said as I lifted the thimble we were using as a indicator and repositioned it on the layout before us, “to here, it would work better.”
Both Sarah and Wyatt stare at the display as if contemplating the new position, intense looks upon their faces.
The door to the conference room came open and in rushed Luann the secretary. “Ben,” I could tell she was attempting to remain calm but the look on her face said whatever it was on her mind was nothing to be calm about. “Mr. Daniels is here for you.”
Ryker had taken a few weeks off after the delivery of Lucas to be home with Nicole. After the scare he had, I didn't blame him for wanting to keep them all close. But he wasn't home with them now, he was here.
Panic shot through me as I dropped the file in my hand and moved from the conference room toward the front office. Whatever reason he had for being here was one of urgency. Otherwise he would have called instead of driving to Huntsville to tell me.
As I rounded the corner I found Ryker standing with his back to me as he fisted the hair at the back of his neck. He turned around as if he heard my approach and the look on his face made my legs wobble.
“Liz,” I say fearful of his response.
“She’s okay,” he assures me as he takes a step closer. “I need you to come with me.”
“Tell me whats going on.”
“I will but I ne
ed to get you out of here first,” he says reaching out for me and I pull away before he can touch me. My fear turning to irritation, even though I was doing my very best to control it.
“No,” I say, “you need to tell me know.”
I sensed the battle he was facing, but he also had to know that not knowing was torturing me.
“Is she hurt?”
“Liz is safe,” he assures me. “She’s at the hospital with Brayden.”
“Khloe’s brother,” I say now confused. “What the hell happened to Brayden?”
“Can we get out of here and talk?” He asked as he looked over my shoulder. I look behind me to find not only Luann, but Sarah and Wyatt too all watching us closely.
I turn back to face him and nod, as I allow him to lead me from the building. When we reach the parking lot I pause. “Okay now tell what the hell’s going on.”
Ryker hung his head and fuck if I didn't feel that shit deep in my stomach. I could see whatever it was he had to say was eating away at him.
“Just tell me,” I say as he lifts his head and our eyes lock. “Tell me,” I say again.
“Brayden was struck by a car,” he says and fucking chills cover my back and arms. “Khloe was dropping him off and they were crossing the road, when I man ran the red light and struck them.”
“Them?”
“Khloe and Brayden,” his voice cracked when he said her name.
“You said that Liz was with Brayden,” he nods as I take in a deep breath. “Where’s Khloe?”
Ryker’s eyes bore into mine, a look I’d seen before hidden deep in them. The same look he wore when we buried our best friend.
“Where’s Khloe?”, I ask again already feeling my body growing weak.
“She saw the car before Brayden did and,” his voice cracked. “She pushed him out of the way, but wasn’t able to shield herself before she was struck.” A tear escaped Ryker’s eye and ran along his cheek. “The guy didn’t even hit the break, he hit her head on and,” he hung his head unable to say the rest.
“She’s gone, isn't she?”
Silence settled over us and the only thing I could hear was the deep intake of my own breaths.
“She’s dead,” I whisper still staring at him.
When he looked back at me, fresh tears stained his cheeks and it broke me.
I spun around as if in search of something to ease this pain inside of me. Khloe, a girl that pulled me out of my funk on my first night in Arab and didn’t take my shit. She befriended me and in that instant we clicked. I fucking loved the friendship we developed, that fun loving craziness that grew into more of a brother/sister kind of love.
Now she was gone.
“Let me take you home,” Ryker said from behind only I refused to listen. “Ben?”
I spun around and took a step toward him as anger took over my emotions. “When is it going fucking be enough?” I screamed the question and Ryker didn’t even flinch. “First Luke, now Khloe,” spit flying from my lips as I slowly broke and my own tears began to fall. “Two people that didn't fucking deserve to die are gone. Two fucking people Ryker, and for what?”
He let me fall apart, and he didn’t back down.
“Did they get the motherfucker that did this?”
“Yeah,” he says with a nod. “Young guy on his phone, instead of paying attention to where he was going.”
I tried to remain in control, truly I did, but I was too far gone. I gripped the back of my neck, hunched over and screamed at the top of my lungs. “No!,” The one word echoed over the parking lot as I cried harder than I could remember.
Everything hit me at once, Luke, Khloe and Brayden. Khloe chose to take her brother in after her mother decided running off with some man she barely knew was more important than taking care of her kids. She was nineteen and didn’t even flinch when she was given custody of her ten year old brother. She was all he had.
I cried for what felt like forever, but I think it was needed. I had to break, before I could face the devastation of the loss.
Ryker was waiting for me to be ready and when I stood and faced him, he offered me a reassuring nod. “That boy is gonna need a friend,” he says and all over again I feel that deep ache. “He’s gonna need someone he can talk to, someone to hold him up. I think if Khloe had to choose one person for him to have on his side it would have been you man.”
I couldn't speak, I was too raw, but I nodded in return as I stepped toward him.
I didn't flinch away when he wrapped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me in for a brotherly hug. Instead I embraced it.
***
I didn’t think I could do it, in fact it took four attempts to get me there. I paused just outside of the room where Brayden was and leaned my head against the coolness of the wall. I took in a deep breath forcing myself to hold it together.
“She shouldn’t have pushed me out of the way.” The voice of child spoke. I leaned in closer to the open doorway and listened. “If she would have let it happen, it would have been me under that sheet and not her.”
“She was protecting you.”
It was Liz’s voice and in that instant I wanted to rush inside the hospital room and take her into my arms. I needed to feel her body against mine, but I remained where I was.
“She loved you Brayden and protecting you from harm meant more to her than anything else in this world. I think we both know that nothing would have stopped her from doing exactly what she did today to ensure you were safe.”
In that moment, I think I fell in love with Elizabeth just a little more. She was such a beautiful person not only on the outside. She was caring and compassionate and to hear her comforting Khloe’s brother was confirmation of the love she had inside of her. A love that I was lucky enough to be gifted. That was a gift I would cherish forever.
Without another moment wasted, I stepped into the opened doorway and Brayden looked up, our eyes locking with one another’s. “Hey buddy,” I say moving forward and taking him in my arms.
He came willingly as he held me just as tight and together we cried for the loss of a girl we both loved and adored.
When I turned my head just enough to see Liz watching us, I noticed she too was crying.
“I love you,” I mouthed she then closed her eyes tightly for a moment as she took in a deep breath. When she finally opened them, she reached out and touched my thigh mouthing the words in return.
Chapter Twenty Five
LIZ
“What time is the service?”
I looked up to find both my mother and Elle standing in the doorway of my room. They had both changed out of their pajamas and were now wearing dress clothes. Their hair styled and kind, soothing looks upon their faces.
I broke, for the fifth time since I woke. Granted I’d only slept a matter of a few hours as I’ve been unable to get Brayden and Ben out of my mind.
I left Ben’s a little after ten when both he and Brayden fell asleep after a long day of conversing with social services and the funeral home. Ben is fighting for custody of Brayden and his dedication to keeping him out of the system proves what a loving man he is.
Brayden had already lost so much.
He’d been granted temporary placement until all investigative measures were sifted through. Brayden seemed grounded when he was with Ben, they needed one another.
Khloe was cremated and a memorial services was to be held in her honor.
No family would come, only those that loved her here in Arab.
“You’re going?” I asked hearing the crack in my voice.
When my mother nodded her head, the tears fell from my eyes and rolled along my cheeks. It was something I’ve been unable to stop even when I’ve tried. It all seemed so unfair. Khloe was an amazing person and though I may have barely known her myself, she and Ben had created a bond that I found refreshing. They were like brother and sister in most senses, and in turn, Brayden had developed the same closeness. I was glad he had Ben.
&nb
sp; “We’re all going,” Elle said as she moved in closer. “Ryker and Nicole are meeting us at Norton’s Funeral Home, we just need to confirm the time.
“Eleven,” I say my throat feeling as if it is raw. “It starts at eleven.”
Elle sat down on the bed next to me as she soothingly rubbed my back. My mother excused herself saying she’ll call Nicole. I sit still numb by the reality of this situation.
“I know what you’re gonna say when I ask you, because you are always so selfless in times of sadness, but please will you be honest with me?” I didn’t even offer my sister a glance as I stare ahead at the empty doorway before me. “For a moment just stop and think of you, how are you?”
“I’m fine,” I insist.
“You are not fine,” Elle raises her voice enough to gain my all attention. “You haven’t been fine since you walked up on that accident and for once I need you to admit it. Admit that you aren’t all put together and tuff as nails. God damn it, please just let someone else help you for a change!”
I tried my best to hold it together, it wasn’t in my nature to break. I was the one that held others afloat, I kept everything together. The problem with that is on the inside I was falling apart. Piece by shattered piece I was crumbling.
“I can’t,” I finally say shaking my head and attempting to stand. “No,” I say trying to move out of Elle’s grasp, only she refused to let me go. “I can’t do this.”
“You can,” she insists and I fist my hands at myself in one last feeble attempt.
Then I caved, my body feeling defeated and rung out.
Elle wrapped her arms around me and held my body to hers as my tears fell heavy.
“I’ve never in my life felt as broken as I had the moment the emergency personal lowered the sheet over Khloe’s body.” I say, my voice sounding loud and angry mixed with my cries. “It was horrible Elle. I think something inside me broke that morning. Something I’m not sure will ever be mended and I feel wrong for feeling that way. She was Ben’s friend and I barely knew her.”
