Being such an enormous structure, the house required over an hour to view only some of the bedrooms, the drawing room, sitting rooms, ballroom, dining room, library, and kitchen. By the time they finished, the three couples were quite ready to return outside to the picnic which had been laid out by the quietly efficient staff.
Near the shore of the lake, blankets and pillows spread out on the ground with trays, plates, and glasses set for a meal which by no means resembled the basket of bread, cheese, and fruit Lilly had imagined. The ladies, quite picturesque as they delicately sat on the ground, doled out the delicacies provided. The bottles of wine ensured that conversation was lively and unstilted. And then finally, upon partaking of the culinary delights provided, Lilly rose to her feet.
“I’ve been dying to follow the walking path around the lake and see some of the gardens. Would anybody care to join me?” She addressed her invitation toward Danbury. He was charming. He could be quite diverting. He was safe.
He also appeared to be fast asleep.
Lady Natalie reclined upon the blanket and closed her eyes lazily. “I’m not moving a muscle, Lilly. Cortland, you will escort her, will you not?” She gave him no choice, holding her hand over her eyes to protect them from the bright sun.
Glenda and Mr. Spencer had disappeared into the house to peruse the…library.
“I’d be honored.” Michael rose to his feet. And to Natalie, “Are you sure you don’t wish to join us? It may take a while to circle the entire lake.”
Without opening her eyes, Natalie refused again. “I’ve been around it dozens of times. Take your time. I might enjoy another glass of wine.”
Lilly knew she ought to sit right back down and announce she’d changed her mind, but the thought of exploring such a picturesque trail with him was too enticing to ignore. She would keep her distance, though. They would not speak of any personal matters.
Such were her resolutions.
Before he could offer his arm, she skipped ahead, away from the safety of Lady Natalie and Hugh.
She felt Michael following. Those long even strides of his would easily keep up with her.
Stopping frequently to examine flowers and shrubs along the way, she eventually forgot her misgivings and gave in to the enjoyment of the moment. And once she began talking, she could not help but tell him of the secret gardens she had maintained at Beauchamp Manor. She also enthusiastically described her plans to redesign the landscaping behind her aunt’s town house.
Michael seemed intrigued and asked insightful questions about some of her grafting techniques. As a landowner, he said, he spent a great deal of his time thinking about planting and harvesting. He seemed to appreciate her opinions.
He also appreciated the smiles she flashed him. In fact, Michael enjoyed himself immensely. Despite his earlier discomfort, this picnic outing was proving to be a pleasant escape from the demands of the season. The gentlemen had discarded their waistcoats with the permission of the ladies, and there had been an unspoken agreement to allow some of society’s rigid rules to be ignored. It had become a day to lower inhibitions and relax among friends.
And although bittersweet, he would accept this time alone with Lilly for the gift that it was.
“This outing reminds me of when we travelled to Edgewater Heights.” Lilly spoke casually, seeming to read Michael’s mind. And then her eyes grew wide. “Not exactly, though, mind you. Certainly not the—well, not all of it!” She blushed and looked away from him.
He smiled and finally was able to take hold of her arm. He would reassure her. She could speak freely with him today. “It was idyllic, wasn’t it? Spending time with sympathetic companions, friends, not merely acquaintances of the ton.”
Their steps fell in line with one another. They walked silently for a while, enjoying the beauty around them.
Being with her, he felt a sense of lightness. His worries distanced themselves. He was not the duke, but simply a man.
“Did you have a chance to speak with your father before he passed? Was he able? Did he recognize you?” She’d known he and his father had had something of a tumultuous relationship.
“Several times he spoke to me as though I were Edward,” Michael answered her candidly. “But there were moments…I told him about you. I told him of my wish to marry.”
Lilly glanced at him sharply upon hearing this. “What did he say?”
She might rather appreciate the irony. “He told me I was too young. He told me to wait.”
She didn’t say anything at all.
But then a bark of laughter escaped her. “Oh, Michael.” And then she groaned a little and laughed some more. Her eyes glistened as she sobered. Michael wanted to touch the corner of her eye and catch the single tear that had escaped.
But Lilly turned serious once again. “Did he know about Edward? Did he know you had become the heir?”
“No.” Michael remembered. “But I realized my resentment had been idiotic. I think as youths, we naturally rebel, at times imagining the worst in our parents.”
“Oh, yes.” She agreed readily. “And how did you learn this?”
He hadn’t ever discussed this with anybody—not even Hugh. “He told me how proud he was of my military service. And he asked me about the war…he wanted to hear stories.” In dawning appreciation, he realized he’d done his best to bury his memories of those weeks of what had seemed like unending death. But he had experienced some moments of contentment with his father.
Some peace.
Michael pushed a branch away from the path so she could pass in front of him. “In all my life, I’d never had my father’s undivided attention as I did those last nights.”
Lilly glanced at him sideways, smiling. “You brought him comfort, then.”
Raising his brows, he considered her statement. “Perhaps I did.”
And then he asked about her last days with her parents. He’d known her mother, but not her father at all. She told him of the last Christmas she’d spent with them both—and after—how she’d cared for her mother, read to her all of their favorite books. Lady Eleanor had travelled over for her mother’s funeral and brought her Miss Fussy.
And then she told him of some of Miss Fussy’s antics.
They laughed together and then fell into a relaxed silence.
A cool breeze rustled the leaves above them, and silver ripples appeared on the surface of the lake.
Lilly stopped to behold the view and inhaled deeply. “Being in the city, one forgets how perfumed country air can be.”
But he had eyes for only her. “What perfume is in this air, Lilly?”
Stopping, she closed her eyes and inhaled again. “Pine, sage, grass, lavender, and…” She trailed off and then opened her eyes. For Michael had stepped within inches of her. He’d not done so consciously. But it didn’t matter.
Nothing else mattered.
“No peach blossoms?”
At that moment, he was only aware of the fragrance of her, of Lilly. Memories and emotions assaulted him. Her closeness ignited a hunger he had hoped would fade away.
She held his gaze unwavering. Neither of them would speak. The sound of a few birds could be heard in the distance, and then the rustling of leaves again, as the cool wind tilted the tall grass.
And then, oh, so tentatively, Lilly’s hand extended upwards, and she grazed her fingertips along his jaw. Michael grasped her hand, cradling it even. Turning his face and closing his eyes, he pressed a kiss inside her palm. If he didn’t breathe, time would stand still.
She wrapped her other arm around his waist and tucked her face into his chest. This moment wasn’t about passion or lust or wantonness. This was a moment to acknowledge love.
Michael embraced her fully.
Holding her was madness, insanity, but also the most natural thing in the world. Since the moment he’d heard her voice in that damned inn, his heart ought to have known it would come to this. Like the tides and the moon, they’d existed apart from one a
nother, in different worlds. But also, like the tides and the moon, neither could escape the strength of their attraction. Michael dipped his head, not moving his hands, and kissed her temples, the corners of her eyes, her cheeks. She tipped her head back so he could find her mouth.
And once he tasted the sweetness of her lips, she parted them hungrily. Her hands were in his hair, clutching, exploring. His own boldly explored her softness.
Starved for one another, they both laid claim to what they desperately needed.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The Inevitable
It was heaven to feel his touch, his masculine hardness pressing into her. All along she’d wanted this; she’d hoped for this. And if she admitted it to herself, even before leaving Beauchamp manor, she’d dreamed of being with him again.
But she’d never thought it would come true.
Was she fool enough to give in to it now? Was she fool enough not to? His leg had managed to push through the material of her dress and petticoats so she straddled his unyielding thigh. These feelings were primitive, uncivilized…inconceivable. Heat blossomed in her center as she pressed closer into him. In mad desperation, she clutched at his hair. Teeth cut into flesh. She tasted blood. Was it her own? Was it his? She didn’t care; perhaps it was both.
Letting out a gasp, she did not protest as Michael caught her up in his arms, carried her off the path and then lowered them both to the ground in a sheltered grassy cove. All of this, he managed, without moving his lips from her person. He was tasting her again, nipping, sucking, kissing.
“No love bites,” Lilly said, suddenly remembering the red marks he had left on her after they had been together at Vauxhall Gardens.
Michael was in a haze. “What?” He looked at her questioningly. He lay on top of her, his muscles straining as he protected her from his weight with his arms.
“Love bites,” Lilly said with lips that felt tender and swollen from his kisses. “Those little red marks you left on me before. It took a week for them to go away, and my maid told me they were evidence of lovemaking.”
The expression on Michael’s face made him look like a child who’d raided the cookie bin. Suddenly, the years they’d been apart melted away. “I never meant to leave them, love. I’ve never been able to control myself around you.” He bent down and kissed her neck tenderly, softly. “I never meant to hurt you, love. I promise I’ll be careful.” His kisses trailed lower as his hands pulled down her bodice. Exposing her breast, he feathered kisses all around the rosy tip. He lightly ran his tongue over the soft, sensitive skin along the underside before capturing the bud in his mouth. Arousal coursed through her core.
“Hurting you is the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do.” He spoke between kisses. His voice was gravelly, choked with emotion.
Michael was greedy, and Lilly reveled in it. How many times had she dreamed this?
And then she realized he was trembling. Her Michael. Her love.
He lifted his face and searched her eyes. “I want you so badly, and yet I am tormented by the thought of hurting you again. You must know I love you. I never stopped loving you.” His eyes glistened as he implored her to understand. “Even now, honor compels me to run. To run away from you.” He took her hand, reached down with it, and placed it on the evidence of his arousal. “But you are the master of my heart, of my body. Tell me to stop and I will. God help me, but I will.”
Lilly’s hand pressed into him and wrapped around his thickness through the fabric of his falls. She would not deny him.
She would not deny herself.
Her thumb worked up and down, touching him from memory. Loving the knowledge that he needed her touch as much as she needed him. And then he pulled her hand away. “Not so fast, love. I’ll make a fool of myself.” The uncertainty she’d seen in his eyes before had transformed into wicked desire. “Let me love you first.”
He had changed, and yet he had not. No one else ever saw this side of him. His passion, his insecurity, his sense of humor. His hand reached down to the hem of her skirts and his fingers gathered them into his fist. Tantalizingly, he exposed her ankles, her calves, her knees, and most of her thighs. Lilly wore no drawers. There were no barriers beyond her skirts.
Long ago, with just a hint of light from the moon, she’d undressed in his presence. She’d given him full access to her body as they’d frolicked in the spring-warmed waters. But he’d never seen her body in the daylight.
There had never been any daylight when Lord Beauchamp had taken her either.
She pushed thoughts of him from her mind. She did not want him intruding on this time with Michael. Michael slid down her body and began kissing the sensitive skin on the inside of her knee.
A tension grew inside her womb when she looked down and saw his dark head bent over her thigh. One of his hands had reached up and was touching her low on her abdomen. His other hand supported her leg. His mouth travelled along the tender skin of her inner thigh now. New whiskers scratched at her, and she jumped when she felt his breath upon her…
“Michael?” she asked, uncertain as to what he was doing. Well, she thought she had an idea as to what he was doing, but surely not!
His mouth was very close to the apex of her legs. He growled softly and then wolfishly looked up to smile at her. “Yes, love?” he said. “Is something the matter?”
“Um, are you quite certain you want to do…that?” It was difficult to speak, what with all the twitchy neediness he’d ignited. Her hips rose slightly, of their own accord, reaching for that elusive feeling she hadn’t experienced in years.
She nearly cried out at the vibrations of his laughter. He paused for the briefest of moments and met her gaze. His lips were wet, and his eyes hooded. “Quite certain.” And with that, he dipped his head and found her opening with his very devilish tongue. Lilly’s hips jerked again as Michael licked and sucked and pulled at the swollen skin at her opening. Her knees were bent, and her heels pressed into the ground.
Lilly lost all coherent thought. She closed her eyes from the glare of the sun and gave in to this sinful delight.
Michael had moved his hands below her, tilting her up for better access, and then reached around to part her gently and slide one finger inside. And then another. Her initial mortification forgotten, she now actively moved with him. Until she was falling, falling, falling. Waves of pleasure coursing through her.
She felt her womb pulsing, throbbing, around him when he finally paused his movements.
In her haze of bliss, she could not help but mourn the vanished promises of their youth. How had she lost him? Had the fates been against them all along? The warmth of his touch reminded her to remain in the present. She was here with him now. She would dwell neither on the past nor the future.
After placing a few kisses along her leg, Michael sat back upon his heels and stared down at her. His blue eyes looked darker, his pupils dilated, as he beheld her exposed body, flushed from his lovemaking.
He’d been the one, years before, who’d awakened her sensuality. She nodded slightly, and he reached to undo the fall of his breeches. She would have everything. If only for a day, if only for an hour. She’d learned the sweet bitterness of memories years ago. She welcomed new ones for the future.
She watched his bent head as he undid the buttons. And when he was free, she swallowed hard. He was larger than she remembered.
“See what you do to me.” He leaned forward to cover her again.
This time he settled his arousal between her thighs. Her wet heat welcomed him as she opened wider for his entry.
Slowly, for this must last a lifetime, they joined their bodies together.
Her legs wrapped around him, inviting him further as he pressed his forehead between her breasts. They had come home to each other. There were no barriers. There was no awkwardness.
Together, they moved imploringly until finding the rhythm that was uniquely theirs.
When Lilly had first made love with Michae
l at seventeen, it had been enchanting, almost dreamlike as they’d tangled and touched like water nymphs in a cave. She had experienced joy but had also been looking beyond the moment, believing it merely a taste of the passion she would share with Michael in the years to come.
This time she was keenly aware of what her future could hold. This would be the last time she would allow herself to be with him thusly, and therefore, she was determined to take pleasure in every moment. Reaching through the dizzying passion, she forced herself to open her eyes and watch him as he moved above her. His hair fell forward, partially covering his closed eyes.
Sensing her attention, he opened his eyes and returned her searching gaze. It was as though they could see into one another’s soul. Their two bodies became one, and for that twinkling of an eye, they shared one heart as well. Michael pulled back slowly and then firmly thrust again, burying himself to the hilt.
She welcomed the fullness.
They moved slowly at first, embracing each sensation until neither could hold back. But their passion had been denied for years, and a yearning hunger took over. Lilly clutched at him with her legs, her fingernails digging into the fabric of his shirt. And then the world tilted slightly, and Michael’s movements quickened, faster and deeper still. The emptiness she’d felt for so long would finally be filled. Her legs gripped him tightly. She wanted this never to end, but as their tension built, she could not keep herself from falling into oblivious pleasure. Only then did she sense Michael’s surrender. His movements quickened, faster and deeper, nearly violent in his excitement. But he had not lost all control. Before reaching his own satisfaction, he pulled himself free of her legs, breathing harshly.
Lilly nearly cried, although logically she knew it was for the best. Breathing heavily, she knew the sensation all too well.
His seed was warm and thick as it spilled along her thigh.
It was for the best, she told herself, searching for a handkerchief. She was not his wife, after all. She wiped at the liquid and turned away.
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