“How do you know that?” Annie looked at him suspiciously. “She didn't say anything about that when she was here.” Unless she had mentioned it before Annie came outside. But that wasn't the case, as their father made clear.
“She came back for her pie plate when you and Candy were in the city, moving into the house.”
“That was fast,” Tammy commented, glancing at Sabrina. Their father missed the look they exchanged. “What else did she say?”
“She's had a tough life. She was married to this guy for seven years. She lost her business to him. And she had a baby that died, of SIDS, her only child. After that she left, and came back here. I think it only happened last year. She said the divorce was just final. But that may be why she felt badly about your mom. She knows what it's like to lose someone now. The baby was only five months old, long enough to fall in love with him, and then he's gone.” They could tell from what he was saying to them that their conversation had been deeply personal.
“How long did she stay picking up the plate?” Sabrina asked.
“Actually, I felt so sorry when she told me all that, I invited her to lunch. She's a sweet kid. She's staying with her parents till she finds her own place. You girls should give her a chance.”
“Yeah, well … maybe …” Sabrina said, feeling sorry for her about the baby she lost, but her memories of her still weren't pleasant. Admittedly it had been eighteen years before, and people changed when they grew up. “That's too bad about her baby.”
“She cries every time she mentions it. I think it's still pretty fresh.” He looked embarrassed then. “I have to admit, I cried too when I talked about your mom.”
“It must have been a real cheerful lunch,” Tammy said under her breath to Sabrina, with a worried look in her eyes. Their father went inside shortly after that, and she commented that he was so innocent that he was going to be easy prey for some woman who wanted to take advantage of him, and she hoped Leslie wasn't it.
“I doubt it. She's too young. That's not his style,” Sabrina reassured them all, and believed what she was saying.
“You never know,” Tammy commented cynically. “You see a lot of that in L.A. Girls her age with men his. It's a pretty standard thing, especially if the man has money.”
“He probably thinks of her like one of us, just a kid. I'm no kid, but Dad thinks of me that way. And she's a couple of years younger than I am,” Sabrina said.
“That's my point,” Tammy warned.
“We can't lock him up,” Annie said. “Maybe we should, until he gets a little wiser in the ways of the world. Maybe there's a school for him too, to warn him about conniving women.” They all laughed at the idea.
The rest of the weekend sped by too quickly, and they all left on Monday morning, so they could show Tammy the house in town. Their father looked sad when he waved goodbye, and Candy and Annie promised to come back soon, and this time they took their dogs with them, since they were settled into the house. He said he'd miss them all.
“Maybe we should buy him a dog,” Tammy said thoughtfully. “He's going to be so alone in that house.”
“I know,” Sabrina said. “I felt guilty taking Beulah back, but Chris misses her too.”
“I feel so sorry for him,” Tammy said. “I really think a dog might be a good idea. If he's willing to take care of it. That's a whole other thing. But it would be good company for him.”
Juanita and Beulah were peacefully asleep in the backseat. Annie had ridden with Candy, and they had Zoe with them. And Chris was meeting them at the house.
Tammy loved the house when she saw it, and said they had already done great things to it. It had a happy, cozy feeling to it. Sabrina's things looked pretty spread around the house, and she and Annie had gone to buy a carful of plants. The basic bones of the house were good, and the decor was charming, as the realtor had said. And when Tammy saw the small bedroom across from Sabrina's, she fell in love with it. Everything in it was pink. It looked like a candy box, and even though it was small, it had a nice feeling to it.
“That's your room for whenever you're here.” Tammy looked delighted, and Juanita did too. She jumped on the bed and went right to sleep. Beulah had been running up and down the stairs, and Zoe was barking at everyone, delighted to have them all under one roof. Annie was less delighted at the constant barking right outside her room. She came out to shout at Zoe, and fell over her, as she got tangled in Annie's feet. Annie fell flat on her face.
“Fucking dog!” she shouted at her, as Zoe came up and licked her face, and Annie smiled in spite of herself as Zoe licked her nose. “Hasn't anyone told you I hate dogs? And if you trip me up again, I'm going to dropkick you into the garden.”
“Don't you dare!” Candy shouted at her from her room. “She was just trying to say hi to you.”
“Well, tell her to stay out from under my feet.” As she said it, Beulah thundered past them, on her way upstairs to find Sabrina. “Oh, Jesus, this place is a lunatic asylum,” Annie said, getting back on her feet. “Thank God I don't have a dog.”
“I love this place,” Tammy said enthusiastically. “I wish I could stay.”
“Come anytime you want,” Sabrina invited her. “You have your room.” Admittedly, Chris liked being alone on the floor with her, so he could walk around in his boxer shorts. But she knew he wouldn't mind Tammy staying for the occasional weekend. He loved her sisters, and claimed them as his own.
They had dinner in the kitchen that night. Everyone pitched in. And afterward Sabrina drove Tammy back to the airport to catch the last flight to L.A.
“I hate to leave,” Tammy said, looking at her sister sadly. They clung to each other for a long moment before she left her to board the flight. It reminded them both of what their mother had so often said, that the greatest gift she had given any of them was each other. They were indeed a precious gift in each other's lives.
“I love you, Tammy,” Sabrina said in a choked voice.
“I love you too,” Tammy whispered, and then picked Juanita up in her handbag, and with a last wave at her sister, she walked through security to walk to her gate and board the plane to L.A.
The flight arrived in Los Angeles at one A.M. Pacific time. It was too late to call her sisters again. When she turned her cell phone on, Tammy had a message from each of them, and as she walked into her house that night, she had never felt so lonely in her life, or so far away. Living in Los Angeles had always been perfect for her. She had been there since college. But now with their mother gone, and Annie blind, it was so much lonelier to be here. She felt guilty as she lay in her bed that night, as though she should be back there pitching in. But there was just no way she could. She loved her house, her job, and the career she had established here, but suddenly she felt cut off from all of them and as though she was letting them down. Even Juanita looked unhappy to be home. She lay down on Tammy's bed and whined. She missed the other dogs.
“Stop that. You're not helping anything,” Tammy scolded her, and stroked her silky head. It was five in the morning for them, as Tammy turned out the lights and tried to get to sleep. She dreamed of them all night, in the house in New York.
She was exhausted the next morning when she went to work. And as usual, all hell broke loose the day after the holiday weekend. Sound technicians were having problems, directors were complaining, actors were throwing tantrums and threatening to quit. One of their biggest sponsors dropped out. The head of the network was blaming her for it. And their pregnant star was filing a suit for replacing her instead of giving her the option to work, even though her doctor said she couldn't.
“Now, tell me the logic in that,” Tammy said, storming around her office with the star's attorney's threatening letter in her hand. “She told us she was on bedrest for six months. So now what, our character in the show is supposed to become a shut-in too? She can't work. She told us that. And now she wants to sue us? I hate fucking actors and goddamn TV!” She had to meet with the legal department abou
t the validity and potential repercussions of the threatened suit. And absolutely everything that could go wrong that day did. Welcome to Hollywood, she muttered to herself as she walked off the set at nine o'clock that night and drove home, with Juanita in her purse.
Sabrina called her in the car when she was driving home. It was midnight for her. “How was your day?”
“Tell me you're kidding. How was Hiroshima the first day? Probably on a par with my day today. We're being sued, among other things. Some days I hate what I do.”
“Other days you love it,” Sabrina reminded her.
“Yeah, I guess,” Tammy conceded. “I miss you guys. How's by you?”
“Okay. A little tense. Annie starts school tomorrow. She's in a rotten mood. I think she must be scared stiff.”
“That's understandable.” Worrying about her sister got Tammy's mind off her work. “It's probably like the first day of school for any kid, only worse. I was always afraid I couldn't find the bathroom at school. But I knew you were there, so it was okay.” They both smiled at the memory. Tammy had been so shy as a little girl, and still was at times, except in her work. In social situations, she could still be very reserved, unless she knew people well. “Are you going with her?”
“She won't let me. She says she wants to take the bus.” Sabrina sounded worried. She had become a mother hen in two brief action-packed months.
“Can she do that?”
“I don't know. She's never done it before.”
“Maybe she should wait until they teach her that at school. Tell her to take a cab if she wants to go alone.” It was a practical suggestion Sabrina hadn't thought of, and made perfect sense.
“That's a great idea. I'll tell her in the morning.”
“Tell her to stop being so cheap. She can afford the cab.” They both laughed. Annie was notoriously frugal— as an artist, she had been careful about money for years. With the salaries they earned, the others were less cautious.
“I'll tell her you said so.” Sabrina smiled.
Tammy was at her house by then, and she sat in her car for a few minutes, chatting with Sabrina, and then said she had to go in. It was nearly ten o'clock and she hadn't eaten much since breakfast. She hadn't had time. She was used to it. She had eaten candy all day to keep going, and power bars.
“Call me tomorrow and tell me how it went,” Tammy said, as Juanita stood up on the seat next to her, stretched, and yawned. She had eaten sliced turkey at noon. Tammy took better care of her than she did of herself.
“I will,” Sabrina promised. “Get some rest. All the same problems will be there tomorrow. You can't fix everything in a day.”
“No, but I try, and tomorrow there will be a whole new load of shit to deal with. Into each day, some shit must fall,” Tammy said, and then they hung up.
And as it turned out, she was right. Hard as it was to believe, the next day was worse. They were hit with a wildcat strike. The light technicians were walking out. Everything on the set ground to a total halt. It was every producer's nightmare. And Tammy got word that their pregnant star had filed her suit. The press was calling her for comment.
“Oh Jesus, I don't believe this,” Tammy said, sitting at her desk, fighting back tears. “This can't be happening,” she said to her assistant. But it was. The rest of the day was worse. “Remind me again of why I wanted to work in television, and took my major in it. I know there must have been a reason, but it seems to have slipped my mind.” She was at the office until after midnight, and never got to talk to Sabrina. She had had four messages from her, in the office, and two on her voice mail, saying everything was okay, but Tammy never got to return the calls, and it was too late now. It was three A.M. in New York. She wondered how Annie's first day of school had gone.
Chapter 17
Annie's first day at the Parker School for the Blind had been a disaster. Or at least the first part of the day was. She had liked Tammy's suggestion, passed on by Sabrina, and had taken a cab to the school, which was in the West Village, a lively neighborhood these days, but a long way from where they lived. Traffic was terrible getting there, and she was late when she arrived. She had taken her white stick with her, and insisted that she knew how to use it. She had refused to allow Sabrina to take her there, like a five-year-old.
“I lived in Italy and didn't speak the language when I arrived. I can manage in New York without my sight,” she said grandly, but had allowed her older sister to hail her a cab. Annie gave the driver the address, and Sabrina's heart was in her mouth as she watched them drive away. She resisted the urge to call Annie on her cell phone to warn her to be careful. She was suddenly panicked that the driver might kidnap and rape her, because she was young, beautiful, and blind. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach, worrying about Annie, as she walked back into the house.
She shared her fears with Candy, who told her she was crazy. She had gone back to work that week, finally, and was leaving for Milan the next day, for a shoot for Harper's Bazaar. There were clothes and suitcases all over the place. Annie had tripped on two of them on the way out. Sabrina warned Candy again not to create an obstacle course for her sister. And as she said it to her, Sabrina fell over Candy's dog.
“This place is a madhouse,” she said, as she went upstairs to finish getting dressed. She was late for her office, and had to be in court that afternoon, on a motion to suppress in a nasty divorce she hadn't wanted to take in the first place. But all she could think about was Annie as she stepped into her skirt, at the same time as she put on high heels.
As Sabrina learned later from Annie, she had arrived at the school, after paying the cab. She got out, unfolded her white stick as she'd been taught to do, extended it, and immediately fell over an unusually high curb, and skinned both her knees right through her jeans. She had torn them, and could feel blood trickling down her legs. It was an inauspicious beginning, to say the least.
A monitor standing outside the school came forward to help her, as Annie walked into the school. He took her to the office, and put Band-Aids on her knees himself, then escorted her upstairs for orientation. He pointed her in the right direction and she got lost immediately, and wound up in a sex ed class for advanced students, where they were showing them how to put condoms on bananas, and as she listened, Annie realized that she had come to the wrong room. They asked her if she had brought her condoms with her, and she said she didn't realize she needed them for the first day of school, but she promised to bring some the next day. After a ripple of laughter swept across the classroom, another person took her back to the right place, but everybody in her section had already left the room for a tour of the school. So she was lost again, and had to ask for help to meet up with her group. She confessed later to her sisters that by then she was in tears. Someone saw her crying, and escorted her to her group. She could feel that she had blood on her torn blue jeans, realized that she had skinned her hands too, was crying pathetically, had to go to the bathroom and had no idea where it was, and couldn't find a tissue to blow her nose.
“What did you do?” Sabrina asked, when she heard the story later. Just listening to it, she was ready to cry herself. She wanted to put her arms around Annie and never let her out of the house again.
“I used my sleeve,” Annie answered practically, with a grin. “For my nose, I mean. I waited till later to find the bathroom. I held it in. And my group finally found me.”
“Oh God, I hate this,” Sabrina said, writhing in her seat.
“Me too,” Annie said, but she was smiling by then, which she hadn't been in school.
At orientation they had explained to them what the next six months would be like. They would learn how to manage public transportation, live in their own apartment, take out the garbage, cook, tell time, type in braille, apply for a job—the employment office would find her one if necessary—shop for clothes, dress themselves, do their hair if it was something they wanted to learn, take care of pets, read braille, and work with a seeing-eye dog i
f that was what they wanted to do. There was an additional training program for working with the dog, which would extend her school year by eight weeks, and guide dog work was done off-site. They mentioned that there was a sex ed class for advanced students, and listed several other options including an art class. By the time Annie had listened to the whole list, her head was spinning. According to them, about the only things she wouldn't be able to do after six months at the Parker School were drive a car and fly a plane. There was even an exercise class and a swimming team, and an Olympicsize pool with lanes. Just hearing about all of it, she was overwhelmed. And after orientation, they went to lunch in the cafeteria, and were shown how to manage that too, how to handle money, how to choose what she wanted to eat. The signs were in braille, which was going to be their first class every morning. For today, there were teaching assistants who told them what the choices were and helped them get it on the trays, and to the tables. Today's lunch was free. Welcome to the Parker School. Annie had picked a yogurt and a bag of potato chips. She was too nervous to eat. The yogurt was pineapple, which she hated anyway.
“Boy, this is intense, isn't it?” a voice next to her said. “I graduated from Yale. It was a lot easier than this. How are you? Are you okay?” He sounded young and as nervous as she felt.
“I think so,” she said cautiously. The voice was male.
“So what brings you here?”
“Research for a book,” she said, sounding flip.
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “I'm blind.” She was suddenly sorry for what she'd said.
“Me too,” she said more gently. “My name's Annie. What's yours?” She felt like one of two kids meeting in the sandbox, checking each other out on the first day of school.
“I'm Baxter. My mother thought I should come here. She must hate me. So what brought you here?”
“A car accident in July.” There was something intimate about the darkness they lived in, like being in a confessional. It was easier saying things when she couldn't see his face, nor he hers.
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