He didn’t attempt to hide the emotions he was feeling. When Shane walked in and stood next to him with a hand on his shoulder, Brett stayed where he was and took comfort from the gesture. “It’s too late but I will love her with all my heart as long as I live. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life showing her that she hadn’t wasted her heart on me. I would do whatever it took to make myself worthy of just one of her smiles. The reality of it is that I will have to find a way to live from the few memories I have. Believe me, I will never forget even one bit of our time together.”
“Brett, I won’t give you any false hopes.” Jordan knew some of the desperation Brett was feeling from the week Kiley had forced him away from her, too scared of his love to accept it. “But some women are more amazing than you realize. Sometimes, they surprise you and do the unexpected. Maybe your lady is one of the rare gems who has a heart big enough to have held onto some of that love she had for you. Maybe she will defy all reason and let you go about doing what you just said you would if you had the chance.”
Brett sighed. “I don’t think it will ever happen. I realize just what I threw away. It was nice of you to say that though. Hey, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I know your own miraculous woman is expecting and I’m sure she’s still there with you. Your show was supposed to be over before now so why don’t you take her home and get some rest. It’s been an emotional day for you and you must both be tired. I shouldn’t have talked so much but thinking about Max and the way he lived his short life made me see even more clearly what I was doing to mine.”
“I wouldn’t have cut your call short for anything,” Jordan replied sincerely. “I’m glad you talked about all of that. One last thing, cut yourself some slack and let your friends invade your life for a little while as I’m willing to bet they are about to do.”
“I’ll try,” Brett promised, watching as Shane made some coffee.
“Good. Well folks, thanks for tuning in. I know somewhere, somehow, our good buddy, Max is listening. I’m sure he enjoyed hearing all your thoughts. I know he’ll be watching out for us. I’m going to miss his laughter. I love you, Max. We all do,” he paused.
“This is Jordan McKade and I hope you’ll all follow Brett’s example. Reach out to the people in your life and get back to sharing it with them. Max taught us all to live every day to the fullest. I intend to do my best to not let him down. Maybe you should too. Until next week, be safe, be healthy, be happy and keep looking for the good in everyone you meet.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Brett and Shane waited silently after Jordan wrapped up his show. Within minutes, Jordan and Kiley joined them in the kitchen.
Kiley hugged him tightly. “I’m only staying a second. I just wanted to tell you that I love you myself. You wouldn’t let me give up and I won’t let you either,” she sniffled. “I’m going to take a nap over at Lyssa’s. You tell them everything and when you’re done, call us and together, we’ll figure out how to help. And don’t you even think of arguing with me, Brett Hudson. I’m hormonal enough without you giving me a hard time. If you try to chase us off again, I’ll spend the next month crying like I did at the beginning of this pregnancy.”
“No! Anything but that again,” he teased tiredly. “Don’t worry. I’m done hiding and I know I can use all the help I can get.”
“Brett,” she sniffled again at the hopeless expression on his face.
“Sh, sweet.” Jordan eased her against his chest. “We’re going to take care of him now. Brett won’t be able to sneak away again. I promise, we’ll have him back in teasing form in no time, right Brett?”
“Piece of cake,” Brett agreed even though he had doubts.
“Want me to walk you over?” Jordan asked as he kissed her.
“No. I’m fine. You guys talk.” She squeezed both Brett and Shane’s hands before she left.
Jordan grabbed some coffee and joined his brother at the table. “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”
Brett slouched against the counter. “Damned if I know. I tried. Really I did. It’s just that every time I was about to say something, I couldn’t. I was afraid my whining would take away from your happiness. Don’t say it. I know it’s ridiculous. I should have listened to Kiley one of the numerous times she told me to stop trying to do it all and walk away from the agency. I was a fool even to try.”
“More like a dedicated perfectionist who doesn’t know how to say when,” Shane stated. “Brett, I always knew there was more to you than the mellow, nonchalant, charming persona you show the world. You are very good at portraying the carefree playboy but I never thought you saw yourself that way.”
“But that’s what I am.”
“Bullshit!” Jordan declared hotly. “If you seriously believe that then it’s worse than I thought. This is us here, Brett. Remember us? The guy who pulled you into all those schemes to get his attention. The guy you went along with even though you knew what would happen when he found out. The guy who you gave up a scholarship at the best art school in the country for when I was determined to go to college where Shane was, just so I could be in his face.”
“How?” Brett was stunned. Jordan wasn’t supposed to know about that.
“How do I know?” Brett nodded as Shane stared open-mouthed. “Right after I hired Jesse for the first time, he stopped to see me. He’d investigated me because he was considering taking the job as an ongoing thing. He investigated you because you are a big part of my life. We were talking and he asked why you were in advertising instead of making your hobby of drawing into something bigger. He wondered if you didn’t enjoy it as much as you seemed to, since you turned down such a great opportunity. I, of course, had no idea what he was talking about. After he explained, I called your mom. She encouraged me to ask you for the reasons but I finally managed to convince her to tell me.”
“Damn!” Brett hid his face.
“As I recall, you started molding your image back in high school. Seems like you were more interested in loyalty and honest friendship even then,” Shane observed. “You could have pursued a career as an artist, with all the hype and parties and play that you hear about when one of them is in the news. You could be world famous by now, working a month a year and playing the rest of the time.”
“But you’re not,” Jordan took over. “You stuck with me and put up with a pathetic art program and took a lousy job just so you would be around to pull me out of trouble if I got in over my head. I must have known that on some level but I never took the time to consider it too deeply.”
“Being an artist isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Brett mumbled.
“But it would be the ideal occupation for a true playboy,” Jordan pointed out. “Which is another reason I know you’re not one. You work damn hard, even though you make it look easy. You aren’t satisfied until whatever you’re doing is perfect. It must have made you crazy, doing both jobs. I should have seen it.”
“Me too,” Shane agreed. “How many times did I come over here and ignore the forced smile you pasted on as soon as the door opened?”
“I’m sorry I let you down, Brett,” Jordan said sincerely. “You would never have let it slide if you suspected there was something not quite right with me. Remember the week Kiley shut me out? You knew I was planning something. You never stopped trying to get me to tell you what it was. I took for granted that you’d talk to me when you were ready without considering why you kept holding back.”
“How many times since you guys met, did I tell you that I was available if you needed anything, just like I am for Jordan? I said the right words without attempting to show you I meant them.”
“At least Jesse kept his eyes open,” Jordan added. “I’ll have to thank him the next time I see him.”
“Ready to tell us about Andie yet?” Shane asked after a prolonged silence.
Brett groaned and flopped into a chair. “Probably not but I will anyway.” He organized his thoughts. “You both noticed a
t some point that she seemed interested in me, right? When I first sensed it, I overreacted. She didn’t do anything other than smile at me but I felt like she was surrounding me, suffocating me. You guys know the kind of women I date.”
Jordan couldn’t stop a snort. “Oh yeah,” he rolled his eyes. “Blonde boobs with legs. Never even bothered you that most of those boobs were fake either. Not a complete brain or a selfless instinct in the entire bunch. I always thought that was your way of keeping your distance, controlling the outcome.”
“No chance of losing your heart when there wasn’t one inside your date for yours to reach out to,” Shane concluded.
“And then Andie came to town,” Brett continued, to stay with a dear friend of mine. Who I also have been avoiding. I knew I was acting weird about Andie but I wouldn’t let myself think about it. I can admit now that I was petrified. Even though I made sure we were never alone, I still dreaded being around her. I invented this horror of a woman in my head and convinced myself that she was Andie. I was rude to her in front of Sadie on more than one occasion. But each time Andie just smiled at me and ignored my remarks. Her lack of outrage reinforced my idea that there was something wrong with her.
“A day after I let you and Sadie talk me into being in that auction, I got an email. It was from a woman, asking to remain nameless for the moment. She invited me to play a little game with her. She would send me occasional messages and all I had to do was read them. If I wanted her to stop, I was supposed to send a blank reply and it would be over. I mentioned it to Jesse and, as you’d expect, he checked on the sender and knew it was Andie. He never told me and I never asked. More popped up. There was no particular pattern to what she said or when she sent them. It was mindless fun, something I desperately needed at the time. I looked forward to them. They were an oasis from the frustration I was feeling more often than not. Right before the auction, she told me how she fantasized about me and how much of a turn on it was when she watched me sketch. She said she was going to bid for me so we would finally get to meet.
“Andie was at the auction, as I knew she would be. She had mentioned she intended to go one night when Sadie insisted she have dinner with us. When she bid on me, I almost bolted. I wouldn’t be able to dodge the dinner date the winner was promised for her donation. Hers was the last bid and they were about to call it when Tish spoke up, doubling the bid. She had on a killer blue dress that brought out the color of her contacts and showed off all the things I go for. Andie didn’t top her. I pretended I was disappointed and gave Andie a little shrug but I’m sure she could see that I was relieved.
“All the couples were asked to wait in an area near the stage so we could parade around for pictures when the bidding was over. Tish and I were chatting. When Andie bid on Jesse, I was so confused. I was glad she didn’t win me but I didn’t want her to be interested in anyone else, not even Jesse,” Brett slumped. “She should have fallen for him. He wouldn’t have hurt her like I did.”
“You know it doesn’t work that way,” Jordan said. “She didn’t consciously make the choice of you instead of him.”
“Yeah,” Brett told them the rest of what happened after that night. “Tell me something, Jordan. The night we were all at your place and Jesse had me lift Andie off him,” Jordan nodded. “Was that planned? Did you come out to talk to him at just that moment so I would have to take her in?”
“No, not really. Kiley was standing at the window and she told me to get outside right away to talk to Jesse about whatever I could think of. She said to make it seem urgent. I didn’t know why until I saw you holding Andie.”
“I knew I was in love with her that day when she was at the piano with Kiley and Charlie. God, she was so beautiful, laughing with them, sharing the music. When I took her up, I thought she was asleep. Last week, Jesse told me that she really wasn’t. I stood there and watched while she wiggled out of her bra with her shirt still on. I had to stop myself from stroking her nipples. Then she had me take her jeans off for her. She was so sexy. I couldn’t stop staring at her little lacy panties. I couldn’t breathe. All I wanted to do was slip in next to her, kiss her awake and make love all night. Then I remembered she was with Jesse and my date was across the hall.
“Tish asked to see my house when we got back to the city. As soon as we were inside, she maneuvered her way to the bedroom. I had already decided to end it with her because it was obvious that she wasn’t the one who sent me the emails. I should have told her to leave but I didn’t. The woman I wanted was taken so I thought what the hell and followed Tish.
“We were about to get into it when she freaked and got hysterical, like I would force her or something. Every protective instinct I have kicked in and I just wanted to show her it would be okay but then she ran away and wouldn’t speak to me. She seemed so innocent, so vulnerable. You remember my first girlfriend?” The brothers nodded. “She reminded me of her so strongly. It was like being back in time. By the time she finally did talk to me again, I had myself convinced she needed me. She did this song and dance about being afraid and told me a story about being called a slut for having sex with the wrong person once and how she wanted me but couldn’t do that again until she was married. And, well, one thing led to another and I heard myself proposing.”
“Oh my God,” Jordan gasped.
“Son of a bitch,” Shane added.
“Why the hell didn’t you call then?” Jordan demanded.
“How could I? You were both so happy with your wives. I knew it wasn’t going to be anything remotely close with Tish, that it would be the biggest mistake of my life but I’d made the commitment. And remember I thought Andie was taken. It was time to get on with life. I couldn’t have the woman I wanted so any would do. Then, when she said she didn’t want to move, I offered to commute. It just kept getting worse. She’d cry and I’d agree to whatever else she wanted. Jesse happened to stop by later and stayed to drink with me. Don’t ride him, Jordan. I made him promise not to tell anyone. He tried to get me to call you every time he saw me.
“He had to tell Andie though. She was so upset and lost that he offered her his spare room to hide in. He would also be able keep an eye on her when he wasn’t busy babysitting me. All I did for a week was say yes to Tish’s plans and drink. I couldn’t let either of you to see how badly I’d fucked up. I had to keep my mind numb enough so it would stop telling me that it should be Andie, not Tish.
“Andie and Jesse’s cousin, Holly got together one night. They were already in the restaurant when Tish came in with some guy. They wound up at the table behind Andie. Holly had the little recorder she uses for notes with her so they set it on the ledge of the booth and taped the conversation. Turns out Tish and her date were setting me up. She was planning on draining me if I didn’t manage to drink myself to death first. Also turns out that the innocent act was just that. Her guy was part of a group which got together for poker games. The winner of each hand got to have the host’s woman as his prize. Tish apparently loved the games at their house. Frank got some very explicit pictures for me to show her when I confronted her.”
“Wait a second. Tish and this guy cooked up this big charade just to destroy your life and steal your money?”
“And my house in the city. I was supposed to pay for Tish to remodel it for them. And their wedding expenses since she was padding ours. The beloved father she kept holding over my head was really her stepfather who had very little to do with her. And the guy she was with turned out to be none other than Craig Sands.”
“Wow,” Jordan exclaimed. “I know you said you never got along with the guy but this is extreme.”
“Yeah. He must have hated me so much that he got obsessed with destroying me. He always hinted that he thought I took the best accounts to spite him. I thought it was just petty jealousy. I guess I should have paid more attention.”
“Oh man, Brett.” Shane shook his head. “If only you’d been telling us about this. We could have helped.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Jesse knew, remember? He checked her out but everything was hidden beneath the surface and he had no real reason to dig deeper. Did you suspect anything when we were here?”
“No,” Shane admitted.
“I knew you wouldn’t keep her around much longer but I didn’t think she was devious in any way,” Jordan stated. “Get back to Andie.”
“Andie,” Brett sighed, a faraway look in his eyes. “Jesse finally told me they were only dating to spend time with me and Tish. He thought I would stop feeling threatened if she didn’t seem interested in me. I’d finally take off my blinders and see what the rest of you already knew. That part worked. Too bad I walked right into the trap that was being set for me at the same time.
“When they left the restaurant, Holly convinced Andie she should tell me what they’d overheard on her own. She said Andie should explain what she could to me and then we’d both go to Jesse’s to see what he, Frank and Wyatt dug up while they were waiting for us. Well, Jesse left and I was in a foul mood. I was raging at how unfair my life was when Andie appeared. I tried to shut the door on her but she came in anyway. She kept insisting she had something important to tell me. I wouldn’t let her talk. I stalked away and yelled at her to go find Jesse but she swore they were just friends. He’d said the same thing earlier, by the way.
“One thing led to another and we made a deal. Andie would ah, indulge me for the night and I would listen for five minutes when I was done.”
“What the hell were you thinking?” Shane couldn’t stop himself.
“I wasn’t, obviously. All I knew was the woman I’d started dreaming about and wanted more than anything in the world was with me and agreeing to let me do whatever I wanted.”
“Christ, Brett.” Jordan was unable to hide his astonishment. “That’s not you. You don’t take advantage of women. Ever. Even if they beg you to.”
Condemned Page 20
