Beneath a Southern Sky

by Deborah Raney

  Natalie had not even met her baby sister yet. Daria’s parents had come to Kansas City to get Natalie when they heard that Daria had been admitted to the hospital. However, they hadn’t gone back to Bristol before hearing Vera Camfield’s protests. Though she felt mildly guilty about it, Daria had finally resorted to using her tenuous condition to persuade Vera to give up the fight and quietly allow Natalie to go back home. She was certain that Vera was afraid that Cole would have ready “access” to her granddaughter. With some reassuring from Jack and Nate, Vera had conceded that in the interest of Daria’s health and the baby’s, Daria’s wishes should be granted where Natalie was concerned.

  As it turned out, Vera needn’t have worried about Cole—not regarding Natalie anyway—for even before Nicole’s birth, he had been staying in Kansas City with his college friend and lawyer, Dennis Chastain. He’d visited Daria every day until the baby’s birth, and now he went to the Neonatal ICU nursery with her several times each day, holding Nicole every chance he got. The tender mixture of joy and sadness Daria saw on his face every time he picked up his tiny daughter broke her heart.

  Nathan hadn’t been to see Daria in the hospital since Nicole’s birth. Daria wondered if the pain of seeing her with another man’s child was too strong, too searing for him to ever forgive. Vera, however, had called to check on her several times. She never asked about the baby, but only inquired about Natalie and tried to find out when Daria would be released. She always made it a point to tell Daria what Nate was up to, going on and on about how well he was recovering and how anxious he was to “get settled.”

  Her doctor had informed her early that morning that he would be discharging her the following day, but Nicole would need to remain in the Neonatal ICU at least an additional week. Of course Daria would remain in Kansas City until Nicole was discharged, but even if she’d desired to do so, her insurance wouldn’t allow her to remain a patient. Vera had offered her a place in their home. But even though she would only be there to sleep, she felt funny about staying at the Camfields’ with Nathan there. It didn’t seem fair to him, and it certainly didn’t seem fair to Cole. Finally she’d decided to get a room in a hotel near the hospital. She could walk the short distance to the hospital to nurse the baby several times a day.

  To complicate matters, Daria’s father had fallen off a ladder and broken his collarbone, which meant that her mother had her hands full caring for him and Natalie. Margo would not be able to make the planned trip to Kansas City to be with Daria.

  Daria still did not know what was going to happen with Nate and Cole. She had been too wrapped up in Nicole’s birth and her own rather tentative condition to think about the decisions that still loomed. Now she wanted to put the decision off as long as possible.

  She reached into the radiant warmer bassinet and picked Nicole up, carrying her gingerly over to the large overstuffed chair that sat ready nearby. Already the baby felt sweetly familiar in her arms. And though Nicole was still featherlight, Daria imagined that she could feel the weight of a few added ounces. Barring any unforeseen complications, she would bring her daughter home from the hospital this time next week.

  Home.

  But where was home? And more important, who was home?

  Cole and Daria sat side by side on a comfy sofa in the Neonatal ICU nursery. Little Nikki—as Cole had taken to calling her—lay on her mother’s lap, her wide eyes staring at the bright lights overhead.

  “Look, Cole! She smiled! Did you see that?”

  He turned to meet her gaze and smiled. “I think the nurses would tell you that’s just gas.”

  “Well, they can say what they want, they’ll never convince me. Why wouldn’t a baby smile? Really now?”

  “It looked like a real smile to me,” he said. In spite of the dark circles under her eyes, Daria looked beautiful. He resisted the urge to reach out and brush her hair away from her face.

  Daria sighed. “Oh, Cole, I’m so anxious for Natalie to meet her. She’s going to be so excited. I miss that little scamp.”

  Cole saw tears gather in the corners of her eyes, and in them he saw an opening for an idea that had been brewing. “Daria, I’m heading back to Bristol tonight to help Travis with some calves. It’ll probably take us most of the morning tomorrow, but when I come back I could bring Nattie with me.”

  “Oh, Cole, that would be wonderful!”

  “Daria, it will be a gift for me to have the time with her.”

  “Of course it would,” she said softly.

  He opened his mouth to ask—he wasn’t sure what. Daria had stayed in a nearby hotel since the day she was discharged from the hospital. Of course, she needed to be near the hospital since she was nursing the baby, but they could have transferred Nikki to Wichita, and then Daria could have stayed at home in Bristol. Cole couldn’t help but wonder how much her decision had to do with being near Nathan. He had given up hoping that things could ever go back to the way they’d been before. He just wanted some reassurance that no matter what happened he could remain part of little Nikki’s life—and part of Natalie’s life.

  Now, before he could say anything, he saw a nurse making her way toward them through the rows of Isolettes and bassinets. She waved to get their attention. “Daria, you have visitors,” she said, pointing toward the nursery’s anteroom.

  “Oh?”

  “Mr. Camfield—and Mrs. Camfield,” the nurse said.

  Daria looked at Cole.

  “Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

  “No, of course not,” she told him. “I’ll go talk to them in the waiting room. I wonder what they want?”

  The nurse waited while Daria juggled Nikki into Cole’s arms.

  “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

  Cole watched Daria walk away, then looked down into his daughter’s bright eyes and wondered how many more times he would get to hold her like this.

  In the hallway Daria was surprised to see Nate and his mother. She had expected Jack and Vera.

  “Hello,” she said, a question in her voice.

  “Hi, Daria. How is everything going?” Nate asked.

  “Good. I think they’re going to let the baby come home in a couple of days. At least that’s what the doctor said this morning.”

  “That’s great, great. Listen, Mom had an idea we wanted to float by you. I know Natalie hasn’t met the baby yet. And since you can’t leave the hospital long enough to get her, we thought we could drive to Bristol and pick Natalie up at your folks’ and bring her back here. Then she could just stay with us for a couple of days until the baby is ready to go—to be discharged.”

  Vera had stood uncharacteristically silent behind Nate, but now she jumped in, “We can keep Natalie while you’re at the hospital. It sounds like it would only be for a few days anyway.”

  Daria hesitated. “Oh, Vera, Nate, that’s so thoughtful of you, but, well, Cole has already offered to bring Natalie. In fact he’s here right now, but he has to go back to the clinic in Bristol tonight. He’s planning to bring her back with him late tomorrow afternoon—”

  “Oh, heavens no. That won’t be necessary. We’ll go,” Vera interrupted. “We can leave first thing in the morning and have her back in time for lunch. We could even go today,” she said brightly.

  “Well, I appreciate the offer, really, I do, but like I said, we’ve already made other plans.”

  “Why don’t you just tell, uh, Cole that you’ve found another ride for Natalie. We really would like to have the time with her.”

  “I understand that, Vera,” she said, measuring her words carefully. The woman can scarcely bring herself to speak Cole’s name. She took a deep breath, trying to keep the anger she was feeling from creeping into her voice. “It’s just that Cole would like some time with her too. And Natalie needs to see him. They haven’t had a chance to be together for a long time.”

  Vera sniffed. “Daria, I don’t think this is wise at all. It will only make it harder on Natalie in the end.”


  “Mom! Stop!” Nate stepped forward, shaking his head in apology. “I’m sorry, Daria. It sounds like you have everything worked out. We’ll—”

  Vera spun toward her son. “Nathan, are you just going to let this go? There is no reason in the world why you shouldn’t be able to go get your daughter in Bristol if you want to! This tiptoeing around has gone on long enough. It’s time we got some things out in the open, and if you won’t do it, then I will.”

  “Mom—” Suddenly Nate looked beyond Daria, and his face registered surprise. Daria turned to see that their raised voices had drawn Cole from the nursery.

  “Hello, Cole,” Nate said.

  Cole nodded a greeting. “I heard my name,” he said carefully.

  Nate looked at the floor. “Yes.”

  Cole cleared his throat. “Is there a problem?”

  Vera glared at him. “We just came to let Daria know that we would be picking Natalie up in Bristol tomorrow.”

  Nate scolded, “Mom, stop. That’s enough!”

  “Nate?” Vera said, her voice wounded.

  Now Nathan took charge. He took his mother’s arm firmly and turned her toward the hallway. Like a repentant child, Vera went to the outer hallway, her sobs muffled by a wad of tissue she’d dug from her purse.

  “I’m sorry to interfere,” Nate said quietly when his mother was out of earshot. “I didn’t realize you’d made other plans.”

  Daria looked back and forth between the two men she loved. She could sense the disparate emotions warring within each of them. But now Cole’s expression softened, and he looked Nathan in the eye. “It’s just that I have to make the trip back to Bristol anyway,” he explained. “I have some things to take care of at the clinic. But if other arrangements might work better…” Cole’s voice trailed off, leaving the ball in Nathan’s court.

  “We would like to spend some time with Natalie while she’s here,” he said, his expression unreadable. “If you could let us know when it’s convenient?”

  Daria nodded. “Of course.”

  Nate tipped his head toward the hallway. “I’d better get Mom home. I’m sorry about all this.” He dipped his head in farewell, then turned quickly and disappeared through the wide doorway into the hall beyond.

  Thirty-Four

  It was almost six o’clock when Cole arrived at the hospital the next evening with Natalie in tow. They had called Daria on the cell phone to let her know they were running late, and she was already in the Neonatal ICU nursery when they arrived. She had nursed Nicole, changed her diaper, and carried her over to a cozy seating area when she heard Natalie’s voice in the anteroom. Through the large window, she could see the excitement on Cole’s face as he ushered the little girl in and showed her how to wash her hands at the sink. One of the Neonatal ICU nurses gave her a tiny sterile gown to don over her clothes. When she was properly attired, she and Cole hurried to the vinyl-covered settee where Daria sat holding the baby.

  “Now remember what we talked about, Nattie,” Cole said quietly. “You have to be very quiet because some of the other babies are sleeping. And we don’t want to scare our baby either.”

  “Our Nikki,” she corrected him.

  “That’s right. Our Nikki.”

  “Come on, Mommy’s waiting.”

  Natalie spotted Daria across the room and ran full speed toward her. When she got close enough to see the baby lying on Daria’s lap, she skidded to a stop and tiptoed with exaggerated steps over to their side.

  “Ooh! She’s teeny!” Natalie exclaimed, holding out one finger to touch the baby on the head.

  Daria fought back tears and put her free arm around Natalie. “Oh, Nattie! Honey, you’ve grown a foot! What has Grammy been feeding you?”

  “Just some food, Mommy,” she said, hands on hips.

  Cole and Daria laughed, and Cole sat down beside her, pulling Natalie up to sit between them.

  Natalie leaned heavily on her mother and touched the baby’s feet through the thin blanket she was wrapped in.

  “Do you want to see her toes?” Cole asked.

  Natalie grinned and nodded, and Cole reached over to Daria’s lap and carefully disentangled the baby’s feet from the blanket.

  Immediately Natalie touched a tiny toe and began a singsong recitation. “Dis liddle piggy went to market… dis liddle piggy stayed home…”

  Daria looked over Natalie’s head to smile at Cole. But instead of the return smile she expected, she saw that he was crying. Tears coursed down his cheeks, and he made no attempt to wipe them away.

  Nate maneuvered his father’s car into a narrow space in the hospital’s parking garage and checked the car clock before he turned off the ignition. Even though he was still getting used to driving a car again, it hadn’t taken him quite as long to get here as he’d thought it would. He locked the car and entered the building that housed the Neonatal ICU. He was eager to see Natalie again. And Daria. He knew her most important task right now was taking care of herself and her newborn daughter, but he was growing anxious to get their situation straightened out. The three of them—he and Daria and Cole—needed to sit down and decide what they were going to do. He didn’t think Cole Hunter or Daria wished to solve their dilemma in court any more than he did. But in spite of the many nights he’d lain awake turning the endless possibilities over in his mind, in spite of the hours he had spent reading the Bible, seeking answers, he didn’t have a clue how this would all work itself out. The passages of Scripture that had spoken so strongly to him that night in his room continued to sustain him, though he wasn’t sure exactly why. He was only grateful for the remarkable peace that continued to hold him up.

  He neared the Neonatal ICU and deliberately slowed his pace. He was a little nervous about seeing Daria, never knowing quite how to act with her. Wiping moist palms on his khakis, he pulled his sleeves down over his scarred forearms and ran a hand through his close-cropped hair, checking his reflection in the window that separated the waiting area from the Neonatal ICU.

  Looking past his reflected image in the glass, he spotted Daria’s pale head across the room. He started walking into the outer room, knowing he was not allowed into the nursery without washing and gowning. He looked around for a nurse who could let Daria know he was here, but finding no one, he looked through the window hoping to get Daria’s attention.

  He craned his neck to see across the room full of Isolettes and medical equipment. There they were. And Colson Hunter was with them. He hadn’t counted on that. He moved into the shadows where he wouldn’t be seen, but where he could still watch them.

  He couldn’t actually see the baby from his vantage point, but Daria had a flannel bundle on her lap that was squirming, apparently much to Natalie’s delight. Cole sat close to Daria and, though Nate couldn’t hear their voices, he could see that Natalie and Cole were in deep conversation, apparently about the baby. Now Natalie leaned over to kiss the bundle, then stood to say something that made Daria and Cole laugh.

  A sick feeling started in the pit of Nate’s stomach. It was as though he was being shown a snapshot of a happy little family. One that had nothing to do with him. Yes, it was his daughter—his flesh and blood—at the center of the tight knot, but he could see with his eyes, and feel in his heart, that Natalie was where she belonged. Her joy was obvious. Her love for Colson Hunter—and his for her—was clear.

  The Scripture passages began to churn in his mind. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

  What was God trying to show him? He was terrified that deep in his heart he knew the answer. God, would you ask that of me? Would you really expect me to make such a sacrifice?

  Another fragment of Scripture came to him. Nevertheless, not my will but thine.

  No. I can’t do it, Lord. It’s too much!

  He leaned heavily against the doorjamb, still watching the happy family scene being played out behind the glass. His return, while a deliveran
ce from captivity and an answer to prayer for him, had wreaked havoc in Daria’s life and his daughter’s. Daria could not have known all those months that he was alive, that he would return. Certainly after so much time had gone by, she had a right to seek a new life, even to seek someone who could be a father for her daughter, his child.

  As if to confirm his thoughts, through the window he saw Natalie climb up onto Cole Hunter’s lap and wrap her arms around his neck. Hunter had innocently loved his wife and daughter and provided them with a Christian home. And now this new child had truly bound them together as a family. Already Natalie was smitten with her sister. He thought of his own sister, Betsy, and the deep affection they shared. Would he deny his daughter that relationship with little Nicole? Certainly not intentionally, but if he were to claim even a fraction of Natalie’s time, that time would wrench her from the only family she’d ever known.

  There was a simple solution to the dilemma they’d all found themselves in, and as he began to see quite clearly what that solution was, he felt his knees buckle under him. He put his hand on the wall beside the door and steadied himself. He knew what God wanted him to do. Though it would break his heart, though it hurt so deeply he could scarcely bear it. Yet he knew without a shred of doubt that it was the right thing to do.

  He closed his eyes. Help me, Lord. Give me your strength.

  He pushed the door open and knocked gently on the doorjamb, trying to get their attention.

  Natalie saw him first.

  “Nate! Daddy Nate! Come see our new baby!”