Although Kendra’s story had a sadness that echoed mine slightly, I remained determined to keep an eye on her. Seeing she had been living here for the past five or so years, I didn’t see how I could convince anyone else, but I would remain on alert myself. Kendra set Chase’s chair down. She smiled at me and winked, at least imitating the persona of a friendly witch.
Finally, in the chair next to me, was Garrett, a man in his mid-forties with prematurely gray hair. Despite the dark gray hair on his head and the fact he was quite probably the oldest in the room, his chiseled features made him a handsome man. You could tell he was one of those rare, classically handsome individuals who became more, rather than less, attractive with age. His blue eyes pierced mine as he turned to shake my hand. He did not possess any rare gifts, but he was certainly a talented Guardian. Being in his forties said a lot about him. As a Guardian dedicated to fighting Shadow Rulers, he had well surpassed retirement age. Actually, Guardians generally didn’t “retire” in the normal sense. They died. No one planned it, and there was no rule that it had to happen, but it was a job with a high mortality rate. Garrett had to be talented because he had lived long enough to be the oldest in the room, and he was not very old by general societal standards. By Guardian standards, the clock was ticking against him.
A pale and weak yellow aura surrounded Garrett. I wondered if this was because of the many battles he had survived. Although his body remained strong, maybe his spirit was waning. I did not need an introduction, and everyone in the room already knew about my two rare gifts, the anomaly I was. Stefanie remained quiet as Amy went over her promise as a future Guardian and her mother’s great skill as a Guardian and lifelong friend. Of the twelve of us in the room, eleven were witches, five had rare gifts, and eight were Guardians.
“Now,” Amy continued after the introductions, “We do have a plan laid out for tracking down Evan and Cameron, but you are a key part of that plan, Jade, and until we get you trained, we will not be able to carry out the plan. Your training will need to be intensive if your intentions are to help us. You will need to devote many hours each day to training.”
“Not a problem,” I replied without much thought. “I’ve got nothing else to do until school starts.”
I knew right away I was not on the same track as Amy. Stefanie looked down. The smile Chase had been wearing slowly faded. I thought about this. College classes started the end of the month. I had about three weeks. I wanted everything to happen fast. Train me, send me back to Salem, eliminate Evan and Cameron, and be back in time for my sophomore classes to begin. The whole room silently waited for me to absorb the reality. Three weeks simply would not be enough time to accomplish all of this.
As easy as the choice should have been, I struggled with it. There were two things I wanted more than anything, and they apparently contradicted each other. I wanted to lead a normal life, and I wanted to avenge my mother’s death. I closed my eyes. There would be time for a normal life later, when all of this was over. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I opened my eyes to find the room exactly as it had been, all eyes on me, waiting for me to acknowledge this sacrifice. I am sure everyone in the room felt that this should be an easy decision. I am sure Mercy felt my lingering on it, for even a moment, backed up her position that I should not be here at all. I hated being what I was, but I couldn’t change that. Evan and Cameron needed to pay for my mother’s death, and I was the only one who could make them pay.
“I guess I’ll need to take some time off from school then,” I announced to the room in general. Amy’s eyes showed a small amount of pride in my decision, but also a look that said she understood how difficult it had been for me. Stefanie did not look up. Chase smiled at me. Although I still wanted to run back into the woods and wrap myself in the glow of his kiss, I felt a pull in another direction. Chase and I were not of the same mould. A difference existed between us that I wasn’t sure could be crossed with a warm kiss in the woods. Chase was happy with my decision, but I had the feeling he did not understand how difficult it had been nor would he understand why it had been difficult.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Amy continued. “Madilyn can take you to campus tomorrow to make the arrangements. After that, we will need to start your training. You will spend a full day with each of the Guardians. We will review what you know, what you need to work on, and what you need to know. After you’ve spent a day with each of us, we will figure out a schedule for your training. Stefanie, you will work with your mother. Caylin, you will work with Gia. Any questions?”
No one moved. Although Mercy looked like she wanted to speak, it wouldn’t have been to ask a question. Amy concluded the meeting, and quickly left the room. The only one who left before her was Mercy, who looked disgusted with the whole proceeding. I looked to Stefanie.
“Let’s go outside,” she suggested. Chase came with us, and we sat on the front porch.
“Why can’t one of you take me to campus tomorrow?” I asked the first of many questions that swam through my head.
“I didn’t exactly keep you safe in St. Augustine,” Chase reminded me. “I don’t think Amy wants a repeat of that. After such an open attack, you kind of warrant the necessity of a Guardian at this point. That puts Stefanie out of the running.”
Stefanie glared at him, but I don’t think he was trying to take a shot at her, just stating the facts. Stefanie and I sat on the porch railing; it swayed slightly under our combined weight. I looked down and picked at the flaking paint. Chase sat in a swing hanging from the ceiling of the porch. I wanted to sit next to him. I liked Stefanie, but I wanted her to disappear and give me a moment alone with Chase. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure our kiss in the woods made us a couple, and I wasn’t sure Chase would be okay with me sliding next to him with Stefanie or anyone else in our presence. If I thought he was ashamed of me, I wouldn’t give him a second thought. I just wasn’t sure if there were rules he was supposed to be following since I had been his first assignment as a Guardian.
“At least it’s good you’re quitting school. You’ll have more time to devote to studying up on your skills,” Chase offered. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be on the swing with him anymore.
“I’m not quitting school. I’m taking a break.” My voice came out strong and sharp. I didn’t want to start an argument, but I didn’t want Chase to have the wrong idea about me, either.
“But you told Amy. And Madilyn is taking you to campus tomorrow.”
“So I can notify them I will be taking the semester off, not so I can quit school entirely.” I tried to soften my voice, but I was still incensed by Chase’s assumption.
“Jade,” Chase took another route, thinking he could smooth things over by assuming my ignorance. “I don’t think you realize the kind of training you are about to undertake. You will be the only one going after Evan who is not officially a Guardian. With the training you’ll get, you’ll only be a few months away from becoming a Guardian yourself. You’ll want to take advantage of that.”
That blew me away. Chase thought I had done a complete one eighty. He thought I had gone from not wanting to be a witch to wanting to be a Guardian.
“Why would I want to take advantage of that?” I asked, incredulous.
“You don’t want to be a Guardian?” Chase stammered.
“She doesn’t have to be a Guardian, Chase,” Stefanie interjected before I had a chance to let all of my frustrations go in a verbal assault directed at Chase. “This is all new to her. She didn’t grow up embracing this like you and I did. She has a choice in the matter.”
“Of course I have a choice in the matter! So do both of you. No one is forced into being a Guardian, I know that much.”
“That’s not what I meant, Jade. It’s just that Chase and I have grown up in a way, well, we haven’t really known anything else. We’ve never really tasted what it’s like to live like a normal person, without the people around us knowing about our abilities. Well, that’s not true. I got a
taste of it when I was living on campus. It’s kinda neat, so I get where you’re coming from, Jade, but it’s not what I want. It’s not what Chase wants either.” Stefanie looked from me to Chase. I suspected she knew there was something between us. It didn’t seem to bother her.
“So, you guys can finish this debate, but I’ve had a long day. I’m gonna head to bed. I’ll see you when you come up, Jade.” Stefanie hopped off the railing and darted into the house before either of us could stop her. Now that Stefanie was gone, I stayed where I was perched on the railing. I didn’t trust myself feeling this angry. I didn’t really want to be near Chase anymore, but I wanted to get to the bottom of this. I had another conflict in front of me. A part of me wanted to be with Chase, but another part of me wondered if it was possible given our incompatible perspectives on witches and, more importantly, on Guardians.
“So you still don’t want to be a Guardian?” Chase asked me, more quietly.
“No, I don’t.”
“Even after the time we’ve trained together? Even after you’ve seen what extremes Shadow Rulers will go to? Even,” he didn’t finish, but I knew he was thinking about the Shadow Ruler who had killed my mother or the one who almost killed Maggie.
“No, I still don’t want to be a Guardian. The truth is I don’t even want to be a witch.” I let my words sink in. This was going to be the fastest relationship I had ever been in.
He tried to control his reaction to that one. After several moments, he stood up and walked over to the railing. He leaned on the railing where Stefanie had been sitting.
“You don’t want to be a witch? I just don’t get it, Jade. This is what drove me crazy about you in the first place. How can you come from where you do and not want to be a witch? Any witch I know would give their right arm for your gifts, and you just want to hide away in a hole somewhere.” Chase ran his fingers through his blond hair and held his head in frustration with me.
“That’s just it. You think of living a normal life as hiding away in a hole. It’s not hiding; it’s living. This is hiding. Living out here in the middle of nowhere with spells protecting the property you live on is hiding. And if my gifts are that desired, maybe I’ll just give them to one of you when all this is done and over with.” Chase’s jaw dropped. I thought I had shocked him with the suggestion that he could end up with my gifts. He looked at me for a moment, reached out and touched my shoulder, then let his hand drop down.
“You really have no idea. I keep forgetting it’s not really your fault. Stefanie’s right. You didn’t grow up with all of this around you in the same way we did.”
He sounded so calm. Had I won our argument? He leaned in towards me and kissed me on the forehead. It was a confusing signal and a bit belittling. It was as if he was having pity on me. Then he let me have it—the words that changed things for me.
“Jade, you can’t give away your gifts. You can’t do it with a spell, and you can’t do it with a contract. You can give away your abilities because they are already shared among all witches, but rare gifts are yours alone. You may not like hiding, but if you want to live what you call a normal life, you will have to hide from Shadow Rulers and Hunters for the rest of your life. You’ll need to keep your abilities in order to do that.”
“But, I thought I could just go back to my life when all of this is over. I just want to be a normal college student. I just want to lead a normal life.”
“I’m sorry, Jade, but you’re never going to be normal.”
You would think his words would sound insulting, but instead he just sounded sympathetic. He leaned in closer to me, taking my face in his hands. His lips brushed mine lightly.
“You’re always going to be special. There’s just no escaping it.”
He wrapped his arms around me in the moonlight. I knew I would have a choice to make when all of this was over. He wanted to be a part of my life, but only if I wanted to be a part of the life he was already leading. Chase would not be following me to college or meeting me for coffee after a class. He could be mine, but only if I was willing to embrace a life among this coven. The alternative was a blend between living my old life and practicing my skills enough to stay alert and hidden from the threats of the supernatural world I was leaving behind. Chase could not be a part of that life.
We said goodnight on the porch with a relationship somewhere in limbo—maybe just beginning or perhaps just beginning to end. I went upstairs to the room I would be sharing with Stefanie for at least the next few months. She was still awake, reading in her bed.
“So,” she started, “you and Chase are an item now.” She wasn’t asking.
“Yes,” I said, confirming what she already knew.
“You know he wouldn’t have gotten involved with you if he didn’t think you would come around.”
“I know. What do you think?”
“About you coming around?” she asked. I nodded.
“I think you will come around, but I don’t think it will be as quickly as Chase thinks you will. He might not be willing to wait that long.” She smiled at me. Although Stefanie had my number on other occasions, I didn’t think she would be right here, but I didn’t want another argument tonight.
“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
We turned out the lights and went to sleep. I spent another night in my lagoon. Well, in the lagoon the sun was shining. Cameron was there as always, and he was surprisingly impatient. Despite the tranquility I normally felt in my dream lagoon, I could feel the anxiety rolling off him in waves. His conversation was that of a drowning man. After arguing with Chase in the moonlight, I felt overwhelmed having to argue with Cameron in my dreams.
“You just don’t get it,” he told me.
“You’re right. I don’t get it. I don’t get why I keep having this stupid dream or why you are so eager for me to find you.”
“You need to hurry up.” He was inches from my face. I was lying on the rock—sun bathing. I figured I could sun bath in my dreams without worrying about sun block and skin cancer, something I thought about frequently in my waking hours. When you have someone close to you die from skin cancer, you don’t take the sun lightly. I turned away from Cameron.
“Do you mind? I’m trying to relax.”
Cameron grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. His hands were warm against my skin. He pulled me up to a sitting position and made me look him in the eyes.
“This,” he waved his arm around the lagoon, “is not a stupid dream, and you need to hurry up.”
I looked at him carefully. He wasn’t panicked, but there was urgency in his voice. He had never told me I wasn’t dreaming. Of course, he hadn’t exactly said as much this time, either. He could just be saying that the dream wasn’t stupid. I decided to play along and see where this went.
“I don’t understand. Why do I need to hurry up? I can travel through time. It won’t matter when I leave. When I’m ready, I’ll get there.”
“That’s just it. We’ve been waiting, and you haven’t shown up. That is not going to change. You’re just not in Salem.”
“Well, this would be easier if you told me when I needed to get there.”
“I gave you that information in the bar.” He was still gripping my arms. He squeezed so tightly that I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
“A year and a town are not really that specific. This would be easier if I knew exactly when and where to show up.”
He let go, maybe realizing the game I was playing.
“You wouldn’t trust me if I told you that. The only reason you trust the general time and location is because you know something we did changed the events from that time.”
He was right. Even if he did tell me, I would have to consider the fact that he and his father were trying to gain control of my gift. Since my mother died trying to keep both my gift and me from them, I was not going to let that happen, and I must therefore believe that anything he told me was part of a trap, if this was more than
a dream.
“That’s true. I guess you’ll just have to wait then. I haven’t decided exactly when I’ll arrive.”
I feigned as much disinterest as I could. I hated this place as much as I loved it. It was calm, tranquil, and comfortable, like a warm blanket on a cold morning. Rather than feeling hatred and disgust towards Cameron, I was oddly pulled towards him. That was the part I hated—waking up feeling like I had emotionally betrayed myself, and now Chase.
Cameron seemed to be able to fight the false sense of serenity more than I could.
“People are dying, Jade. Innocent people. You’re taking too long.”
I stared at him. None of this made any sense. Why was Cameron concerned about innocent people dying? This had to be a dream. Maybe Cameron was a reflection of my own sense of right and wrong. As if he could read my mind, he moved swiftly, reaching over me to grab a small shard of rock near my sun bathing spot. Before I could stop him, he pulled the rock across my left calf, drawing blood.
“This is real,” he said, looking very intently into my eyes as a trickle of blood rolled down my leg. The lagoon began to spin around me, and I felt as though I would pass out.
Flames in the Midst (The Jade Hale Series) Page 20
