“It’s all right.” He squeezed her hand again. “You were very brave. And you were right to slay this…vampire and escape.” He brushed his thumb across her hand. “You’ve suffered a great deal.”
She pushed out a hard breath as hot tears slipped from her eyes. Tenzin’s hand caressed her back in warm circles, as if giving her permission to cry. Her heart lurched with a flood of memories. Tenzin’s hand stilled on her back. Such kindness radiated through his touch.
Seeing his face flooded her with more of that comfort. Perhaps she wouldn’t have met Tenzin had she not returned to this place of pain. She’d taken a home of sadness and suffering and transformed it into a school where men and women could find harmony instead of more strife between them.
The heaviness lifted. Perhaps a gentle man like Tenzin was some sort of heavenly reward for the salvaging she’d done with her life or for, perhaps, having helped others in some way.
He gazed at her, and she sensed his energy shift. A tickle of waking yin moved in her stomach. The warmth expanded like a soft fan through her belly and into her breasts. A memory of Tenzin on top of her, between her thighs, his dragon buried inside her, surfaced. Her impulse was to push it away, but in the wake of the peace she felt, she let the image be, let her mind rest on the quality of it, the feel and smells, the warmth…the pleasure.
Truly, Tenzin’s dragon filling her yin cave with his potent thickness had not been painful. Not in the least. The only obstacle had been her fears, beliefs about penetration she carried from the past. But not all men were Xu Yu. In fact, very few were quite that brutal. Thank the gods for Fen Chow and Master Wong, men who’d shown her the possibilities. And then…Tenzin…
Indeed, the very dream that had caused her to reach for Tenzin in the first place had been delightfully erotic. There, she’d writhed and demanded his penetration, delighted in it. In her dream, neither she nor Tenzin had joined with any fears or beliefs about sin. There had been only pleasure, sweetness, and a union of their spirits with their bodies. She’d felt that he was her…
Oh! The dream! It had been her dream, yet when she’d accused Tenzin of raping her, he’d not denied it, instead insisting he was at fault. The question she’d forgotten to ask the entire conversation now surfaced. “Tenzin, I need to ask you something.”
“Anything, Lily.”
She raised her gaze to his. “When I first woke up and found you…inside me, why did you not try to defend yourself?”
He bowed his head. “I felt so guilty for not having left your bedroom in the first place, I didn’t think it mattered whether you’d pulled me onto you. I shouldn’t have been there. Once I saw you weren’t in pain, I should have turned and walked right out. Instead I stared at you. I came even closer.”
His answer stirred her yin. He’d said before that her beauty kept him rooted, unable to turn away. Certainly men had said such things to women in the past to gain their favors, but Tenzin was so sincere, so kind, and he’d refused the favors of her other Tigresses, that it became effortless to believe her beauty was unique to him.
Warm energy tingled through her arm, traveling to the rest of her body. She felt safe and calm. “I don’t wish to be hard and mistrusting, the way I have been with you these last couple of days. I’m sorry. I so much want to believe your kindness is real.”
He looked at her, his handsome face outlined in the moonlight through the carvings in the window. “It’s real, Lily. I promise you. And I do understand why you would mistrust, especially after everything you just told me.”
She sighed. “Where? How? How did you learn to be so kind? Please tell me? I know so little about you.”
Tenzin’s cheeks burned and guilt washed over him. The tone of hopefulness in her voice served as a stark reminder of his violation of one of the great principles of his faith. He was concealing from her the fact that he was a vampire. He dreaded the moment when he would have to risk losing her when he told her the truth. And he would have to tell her the truth. He cleared his throat so that he could speak past the horrible choking lump that had formed. “I’m a simple man, Lily.”
A tiny smile curved her lips. She reached up and touched his cheek. Tenzin’s eyes fluttered closed at the sweet contact. Her touch conveyed much tenderness hidden within her, and he’d felt it when she’d caressed his head earlier.
“You don’t seem simple at all, Tenzin. Not to me.”
He bowed his head. “I grew up in the Himalayas. In Tibet it’s an honor to have a son in the family become a Buddhist monk. That seemed to be my path, at least during my youth. I lived as a monk in a monastery most of my life, in prayer and meditation, tucked away in the mountains far from worldly amusements and luxuries until…” He fell silent, and his gut churned with sudden violence. How could he tell her what he was after what had happened to her? He’d lose her for sure. “…until it was made clear to me that such a path wasn’t my destiny.” He brushed his thumb across the Lily’s smooth skin.
“How was it made clear to you?”
He stared at her. How could he answer her honestly, that he had been fed upon and made into the same kind of creature that had enslaved her and violated her repeatedly?
Several moments passed before he could answer her. “My destiny was to come here. To be with you. Just to be near you. To learn from you…” The last was said in little more than a whisper.
Lily’s breath caught softly, and Tenzin could sense all the thoughts and emotions churning inside her. He saw that she wanted to believe in him, desperately needed to believe. In spite of her inner strength and discipline, he sensed that she felt completeness in his presence, for her and for him. He too, felt that completeness, in a place so deep inside him no words could describe it.
“Tenzin, truthfully, you are as much or more of a teacher than I.” She bowed her head to him.
His stomach wrenched. It was a monumental gesture for a woman like Lily to have bowed to him and made such an admission. If she only knew the truth…
He could feel her preparing for something. “Maybe I’ve been wrong,” she said slowly. “Maybe if I…allowed you to…to…” Her hand trembled in his. She moistened her lips and began again. “Perhaps if you were to…enter me…as before…”
His heart lurched. Was she possibly asking what he thought? He started to protest, but stopped, seeing how much it cost her to say the words, and he waited patiently, knowing how important it was for her to utter them.
“Maybe it would cure the nightmares.” Seconds of silence passed, and then she whispered. “I have believed myself to be in control all these years, yet, if I live in fear of…penetration…then I am actually being controlled. Does that make sense?”
He nodded even though his gut churned. “Yes, that makes a great deal of sense. I have lived the same way, controlled by my hatred of my desires.” He exhaled, resisting the urge to pull away. What would she do if she realized she was asking this of a vampire? Not only that, but one who had lied to her, had violated one of the main precepts of his faith?
Yet, his dragon surged at the melting of her resistance. It was all he could do not to reach out and lay her back on the bed right this moment. What kind of monster was he, even entertaining the idea of making love to her now?
Her hand stroked his temple and came down to cup his cheek. “Tenzin, are you all right?” She smiled. “You needn’t worry that I’ll get angry this time. I want it. So much.” Her touch was tentative, gentle like the brush of a flower petal. He moved his face into her hand, to show her his gratitude.
“I was wrong to have stopped you.” She moved closer, causing her warm breath to caress his skin. Her flowery scent made him dizzy, made his dragon ache. “I mean, perhaps destiny was trying to help me…get past my fear.” Her breath pulsed over his lips, teased his chin. The sound was heavier, full of growing desire. “You’re the only man in the entire world I could…ever…allow.”
His hand gripped the bedding. He didn’t want her to see his inner battle. His
mind swirled. The choice was maddening. Make love to her in deception or admit the truth and lose her…
She leaned even closer and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, dangerously close to his lips. She pulled back a tiny bit and hovered, causing her breath to mingle with his in the small space between their lips. His body tightened more. He was losing.
Her fingertips whispered along his jaw. “Tenzin,” she whispered.
Her female juices, her yin, were rising. He sensed it, smelled the musky tang in the air. Her body softened palpably, and her caress slid lower. Her fingernails grazed a light trail down the side of his throat then skimmed his collarbone.
“Tenzin,” she whispered, “Make love to me. Please.”
Chapter Thirteen
For the tigress to let out her roar, she must soar with the dragon. When the dragon’s essence falls upon the tigress it turns to jade. The tigress is then indestructible and can roam the Heavenly Abode at will.
‑‑ Madame Lin from The White Tigress Manual
Without a word, he yielded. Whatever Lily wanted, he wanted to give her. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was as soft as a whisper, a gentle exchange of breath full of sweet beauty. She sighed and leaned forward, into him, but Tenzin pulled back.
She looked at him questioningly. Her heartbeat sped up. Was he upset? He didn’t seem to be judging by the way his amber eyes melted and simmered.
“Lily, you can stop anytime you wish. I would never force you. Ever.”
He could not have said a more perfect thing. “I believe you.” She inched closer. The sensation like a million butterflies’ wings beat in her stomach.
He seemed to hesitate, to hang back, as if uncertain how to approach her. His careful way was so sweet it made her yin rise. The sensation like her body melting on the inside warmed her, sent pleasant tingles through her breasts and down into her jade cave.
“How did you…make love to the women you spoke of,” she whispered, “in the House of the Jade Flower?”
His lips parted, and his eyes widened. His face was so readable in that moment she could practically hear his thoughts.
“I do want to know. Don’t be ashamed.” She moved closer, wanting his touch on her skin. Her breasts felt full, aching for his lips and tongue to release the yin tide that rose inside her. “Show me, Tenzin. Please.” She reached out and skimmed the fingertips of one hand down the center of his chest. Mmm, his smooth skin was warm, and the hard muscles quivered as her touch slid over them.
He groaned softly. A flash of movement, a gentle hold on her shoulders, and she felt his lips on hers again. One hand slid from her shoulder and cupped her cheek. The tip of his tongue coaxed her lips apart. His male scent filled her, and the warm heat of his body close to hers made her yin swirl.
For what felt like a long time, he kissed her, tasted every soft recess of her mouth while his thumb brushed across her cheek. Lily’s Tigress instincts slid into place, her impulse to stay him with her hands on his arms, to pull back from the kiss, and begin the ritual of hunt, seduce, and bring his yang forth so that she could draw it out of him at the pace she deemed proper.
But the gentle swirl of his tongue against hers, the warm, slightly possessive pressure of his hand on her cheek, told her mind that this was different. In this moment, she was not a Tigress, and he was not her student. This was a man…Tenzin…touching her, kissing her, with his unique male desire to make her feel beautiful, wanted…safe…before he took her.
The way she had envisioned the sex act should be in her girlish fantasies.
Still, her yin swirled, pulsating in hot circles within her chest, to the hardening tips of her breasts and down in her belly. Her lotus petals were swelling with want, her cave seeped with moisture simply because Tenzin was so close, simply because her body wanted his to crawl over her, his hands splayed on her back, and plunge deep inside.
Tenzin pulled his mouth from hers and continued the dance of his tongue over her heated throat. The delicate skin there tingled under his kiss, and she tilted her head back, eyes closed.
He paused over the side of her neck. His body tensed under her hands, and his breath pulsed hot. A soft male groan vibrated against her skin followed by the flicker of his tongue.
The sensation made her melt. He seemed to favor that spot on her neck. Some hazy voice in her mind told her this was strange, but the force of her yin tide, now mingled with his yang force held her body in place, made her hands caress the bunching, shifting muscles of his back. The feel of them caused another surge of yin. Sheer womanly instinct made her fall back.
His mouth slipped from that spot on her neck. She pulled him with her as she lay back, and he shifted, slid upward so that his hips nestled between her spread thighs. He surged against her once, his delicious hardness muffled by the coverings of his trousers and the silk fall of her nightdress. For the first time in so long, Lily did not want any barriers between her cave and his dragon. Somehow, it seemed natural that Tenzin should join with her, bury himself deep inside her.
Her heart raced; her stomach fluttered madly. To her surprise, Tenzin rolled off her and lay down on his back. “You take control, Lily,” he said softly. “Do whatever you wish. I’m at your command.”
She sat up and gazed down at him. The moonlight had begun to fade and in the shadowy light of pre-dawn, Tenzin’s dark eyes had a mystical sheen that conveyed wonder and desire. His lids were heavy, and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths.
Her heart raced now, and she felt as if she teetered on the edge of a stone cliff. If she let herself fall over, she couldn’t know what would happen to her. The thought terrified and thrilled her at once. If she hung back and remained safe, the feel of the ground under her feet would be constant and familiar, but somehow the thought left her feeling empty.
Tenzin reached out and ran several fingertips down the length of her arm. The gesture did not seem to demand anything of her. He didn’t tell her to hurry. He didn’t say anything even though his yang surged and pulsed in the air, even though his dragon was full of life force, a bulge tenting the front of his trousers.
She glanced into his eyes, startled at the tenderness in them in the heat of his desire.
Gingerly, she fingered the drawstring of his trousers and pulled it. The flaps of material fell open, and the head of his dragon poked out. Now was the time she normally caressed the shaft and then went onto her knees to take it into her mouth and harvest the yang.
Not now. Not here.
Wordlessly she started to tug down his trousers. He lifted his lower body and helped her slide them over his bottom and hips to his knees. His dragon sprang up, the thick shaft reaching upward, pulsing with life. She drew in her breath. Before long that thick member would fill her, the very thing she’d feared and dreaded for so long and yet now wanted, ached for.
He made no attempt to advance upon her. Instead, he lay quietly, gazing up at her. She knew the ways of a man well enough to understand how much control he must be exerting, especially a man who had denied his physical cravings for so long.
Emboldened by his gentle willingness, she stroked one strong thigh. She loved the feel of his smooth skin and hard muscle. She slid her fingertips down to his knee and up again several times before moving to his inner thigh. Finally she reached the apex and brushed across his firm yang sac. He parted his legs just enough to better accommodate her hand.
He groaned softly as she continued to knead his yang pearls. She expected him to reach for her, to pull her onto him at any moment, but he didn’t. He continued to lie still, allowing her to do as she wished. His dragon jutted upward, harder than jade itself.
She leaned over and took the plump head of Tenzin’s dragon in her mouth. Tenzin sucked in a breath as, gradually, she took him in all the way to the short, dark hairs at the base. His delicious flavor filled her mouth, and the hard veined shaft twitched against her tongue as she slid her lips back to the head and then down again. He groaned and slipped one
hand into her hair. His flavor, his hardness, and his appreciation weakened her body, made her yin juices begin to gather and seep from her core.
“Lily.” His ragged whisper sounded agonized and yet still patient, accepting.
The way he said her name sent a possessive shiver through her. She let his dragon slip from her mouth and smiled at him. A wild pulsing sprang up deep in her sex, an ache she’d experienced so many times but had never felt safe enough to satisfy. Her inner sex quivered at the thought that soon Tenzin would fill her and expand her with his maleness.
She took hold of the hem of her nightgown, lifted it up and cast it aside. Tenzin’s breath rasped heavily in the quiet chamber, and his chest heaved. She sensed his molten desire, how close he was to erupting. Most men of her experience would have already satisfied themselves.
But Tenzin was waiting for her. She sensed he wanted her to pleasure herself at his expense. He didn’t want her to allow him entry until she had fully satisfied herself. She gazed at him in awe. No one had ever made her feel so wanted, so appreciated.
She lifted one leg and straddled him. Hovering above him on her knees, she lifted his erect dragon upward and lowered herself down. The plump head nudged her slick opening. She caught her breath. She moved her hips again, and her yin pearl grazed the length of his jade stalk. Pleasure flooded her womb, tingled like a spreading fire up her belly and into her breasts.
Tenzin’s hands held her hips, and he groaned softly, yet he didn’t pull her down, make her penetrate herself with him. He caressed her skin and watched her with large eyes.
She rubbed back and forth a bit more. Not to tease him, but out of the sheer pleasure of exploration, of feeling a man’s loins against hers without the fear of violation.
Ace in the Hole Page 14
