‘Well, that’s settled,’ Kruz said as he cut the line. ‘Grace is going back to Argentina. Nacho is coming to collect her now, so you’ll have the penthouse to yourself.’
She should be grateful for the short-term loan of such a beautiful home. ‘Okay,’ she said brightly, worrying about how she and the baby would rattle round the vast space.
‘There’s plenty of staff to help you,’ Kruz pointed out.
‘Great,’ she agreed. The company of strangers was just what she needed in her present mood. ‘I’ll get my things together.’
‘Grace has organised everything for you, so there’s nothing to worry about,’ Kruz remarked as he leaned over the cradle.
She loved the way he cared about their baby, but she felt the first stirring of unease. Now the drama was over, would Kruz claim their daughter? He could provide so much more than she could for their child. Would it be selfish of her to cling on?
Of course not. There was no conflict. She kicked the rogue thought into touch. No one would part her from her baby. But would she be in constant conflict with Kruz for ever?
‘You can’t buy her,’ she whispered, thinking out loud.
‘Buy her?’ Kruz queried with surprise. ‘She’s already mine.’
‘Ours.’
‘Romy, are you guilty of overreacting to every little comment I make, by any chance?’ Before she could answer, Kruz pointed out that she had just given birth. ‘Give yourself a break, Romy. I know how much your independence means to you, and I respect that. No one’s going to take your baby away from you—least of all me.’
Biting her lip, she forced the tears back. Why did everything seem like a mountain to climb? ‘I don’t know what to think,’ she admitted.
‘Is this what I’ve been missing over the past few months?’ Kruz asked wryly.
‘I’m glad you think it’s funny,’ she said, knowing she was overreacting, but somehow unable to stop herself. ‘Do you think you can house me in your glamorous penthouse and pull my strings from a distance?’
‘Romy,’ Kruz said with a patient sigh, ‘I could never think of you as a puppet. Your strings would be permanently tangled. And if we’re going to sort out arrangements for the future I don’t want to be doing it in a hospital. Do you?’
She flashed a look at him. Kruz’s gaze was steady, but those arrangements for the future he was talking about meant they would part.
Count to ten, she counselled herself. Right now you’re viewing everything through a baby-lens.
She slowly calmed down—enough to pick up her camera. ‘Just one shot of you and the baby,’ she said.
‘Why don’t we ask the nurse if she’ll take one of all three of us together?’ Kruz suggested. ‘There will never be another moment like this as we celebrate the birth of our beautiful daughter.’
‘You’re right,’ Romy agreed quietly. ‘I feel like such a fool.’
‘No,’ Kruz argued. ‘You feel like every new mother—full of hope and fear and excitement and doubt. You’re exhausted and wondering if you can cope. And I’m telling you as a close observer of Romy Winner that you can. And what’s more you look pretty good to me,’ he added, sending her a look that made her breath hitch.
She hesitated, not knowing whether to believe him as the nurse came in to take the shot. ‘Do I look okay?’ she asked, suddenly filled with horror at the thought of ruining the photo of gorgeous Kruz and his beautiful daughter—and her.
‘Take the baby,’ he said, putting their little girl in her arms. ‘You look great. I like your hair silky and floppy,’ he insisted, ‘and I like your unmade-up face. But if you want gel spikes and red tips, along with tattoos in unusual places and big, black Goth eyes, that’s fine by me too.’
‘You’re being unusually understanding,’ Romy commented, trying to make a joke of it. Once a judgement was made regarding their daughter’s future they would be parents, not partners, and she should never get the two mixed up.
‘I’m undergoing something of an emotional upheaval myself,’ Kruz confessed, putting his arm loosely around her shoulders for the happy family shot. ‘I guess having a child changes you...’ His voice trailed off, but his tender look spoke volumes as he glanced down at their daughter, sleeping soundly in Romy’s arms.
‘I’ve never seen you like this before,’ Romy commented as Kruz straightened up.
Kruz said nothing.
‘So, will you be going back to Argentina as soon as everything’s settled here?’ she pressed as the nurse took the baby from her and handed her to Kruz.
‘I’m in no hurry,’ Kruz murmured, staring intently at his daughter.
This was a very different side of Kruz, Romy realised, deeply conscious of his depth of feeling as she checked she had packed everything ready for leaving. He was oblivious to everything but his daughter, and that frightened her. Would he try to take her baby from her?
His overriding concern was that his child should grow up as part of a strong family unit as he had—thanks to Nacho. But Romy must make her own decisions and he would give her time.
‘Are we ready?’ he said briskly, once Romy was seated in the wheelchair in which hospital policy insisted she must be taken outside.
‘Yes, I’m ready,’ Romy confirmed, her gaze instantly locking onto their baby as he placed their daughter in her arms.
‘Then let’s go.’ He was surprised by his eagerness to leave the hospital so he could begin his new life as a father. He couldn’t wait to leave this sterile environment where no expressions of intimacy or emotion were possible. He longed to relax, so he could express his feelings openly.
‘Kruz—’
‘What?’ he said, wondering if there was any more affecting sight than a woman holding her newborn child.
Romy shook her head and dropped her gaze. ‘Nothing,’ she said.
‘It must be something.’ She was exhausted, he realised, coming to kneel by her side. ‘What is it?’ he prompted as the nurse discreetly left the room.
‘I’m just...’ She shook her head, as new to the expression of emotion as he was, he guessed. And then she firmed her jaw and looked straight at him. ‘I’m just worrying about the effect of you walking in and out of our baby’s life.’
‘Don’t look for trouble, Romy.’
Why not? her look seemed to say. He blamed the past for Romy’s concerns. He blamed the past for his inability to form close relationships outside his immediate family. He guessed that the birth of this child had been a revelation for both of them. It wasn’t a case of daring to love, but trying not to—if you dared. Hostage for life, he thought, staring into his daughter’s eyes, and a willing one. This wealth of feeling was something both he and Romy would have to get used to and it would take time.
‘Don’t push me away just yet,’ he said, sounding light whilst inwardly he was painfully aware of how much they both stood to lose if they handled this badly. ‘I’ve done as you asked so far, Romy. I’ve kept my distance for the whole of your pregnancy, so grant me a little credit. But please don’t ask me to keep my distance from my child, because that’s one thing I can’t do.’
‘I thought you didn’t want commitment,’ she said.
He wanted to say, That was then and this is now, but he wasn’t going to say anything before he was ready. He wouldn’t mislead Romy in any way. He had to be sure. From a life of self-imposed isolation to this was quite a leap, and the feelings were all new to him. He wanted them to settle, so he could be cool and detached like in the old days, when he’d been able to think clearly and had always known the right thing to do.
‘Grace said you’ve never shared your life with anyone,’ she went on, still fretting.
‘People change, Romy. Life changes them.’
He sprang up as the nurse returned. This wasn’t the time for deep discussions.
Romy had just had a baby. Her hormones were raging and her feelings were all over the place.
‘Time to go,’ the nurse announced with practised cheerfulness, taking charge of Romy’s chair.
While the nurse was wrapping a blanket around Romy’s knees and making sure the baby was warmly covered, Romy turned to him. Grabbing hold of his wrist, she made him look at her. ‘So what do you want?’ she asked him.
‘I want to forget,’ he said, so quietly it was almost a thought spoken out loud.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ROMY REMAINED SILENT during the journey to the penthouse. She was thinking about Kruz’s words.
What did he want to forget? His time in the Special Forces, obviously. Charlie had given her the clue there. Charlie had said Kruz was a hero, but Kruz clearly didn’t believe his actions could be validated by the opinion of his peers. Medals were probably just pieces of metal to him, while painful memories were all too vivid and real. She couldn’t imagine there was much Kruz couldn’t handle—but then she hadn’t been there, hadn’t seen what he’d seen or been compelled to do what he had done. She only knew him as a source of solid strength, as his men must have known him, and her heart ached to think of him in torment.
‘Are you okay?’ he said, glancing at her through the mirror.
‘Yes,’ she said softly. But I’m worried about you...so worried about you.
Everything had been centred around her and the baby, and that was understandable given the circumstances, but who was caring for Kruz? She wanted to...so badly; if only he’d let her. There were times for being a warrior woman and times when just staring into the face of their baby daughter and knowing Kruz was close by, like a sentinel protecting them, was enough. Knowing they were both safe because of him had given her the sort of freedom she had never had before—odd when she had always imagined close relationships must be confining. He’d given her that freedom. He’d given her so much and now she wanted to help him.
He wasn’t hers to help, she realised as Kruz glanced at her again through the driving mirror. She mustn’t be greedy. But that was easier said than done when his eyes were so warm and so full of concern for her.
‘My driving okay for you?’
As he asked the question she laughed. Kruz was driving like a chauffeur—smoothly and avoiding all the bumps. The impatient, fiery polo-player was nowhere to be seen.
‘You’re doing just fine,’ she said, teasing him in a mock-serious tone. ‘I’ll let you know if anything changes.’
‘You do that,’ he said, his eyes crinkling in the mirror. ‘You must be tired,’ he added.
‘And elated.’ And worried about the future...and most worried of all about Kruz. They had no future together—none they’d talked about, anyway—and what would happen to him in the future? Would he spend his whole life denying himself the chance of happiness because of what had happened in the past?
She pulled herself together, knowing she couldn’t let anything spoil this homecoming when Grace and Kruz had gone to so much trouble for her.
‘I’m looking forward so much to seeing Grace,’ she said, ‘and being on familiar ground instead of in the hospital. It makes everything seem...’ She really was lost for words.
‘Exciting,’ Kruz supplied.
Her eyes cleared as she stared into his through the mirror. ‘Yes, exciting,’ she agreed softly.
‘I can understand that. Grace has been rushing around like crazy to get things ready in time. She’s as excited as we are.’
We? He made them sound like a couple...
It was just a figure of speech, Romy reminded herself, though Kruz was right about life changing people. They had both been cold and afraid to show their feelings until the baby arrived, but now it was hard to hide their feelings. She’d been utterly determined to go it alone after the birth of their child. The baby had changed her. The baby had changed them both. She couldn’t be more thrilled that Kruz would be sharing this homecoming with her.
She gazed at the back of his head, loving every inch of him—his thick dark hair, waving in disorder, and those shoulders broad enough to hoist an ox. She loved this man. She loved him with every fibre in her being and only wanted him to be happy. But first Kruz had to relearn how to enjoy life without feeling guilty because so many of his comrades were dead. She understood that now.
She had so much to be grateful for, Romy reflected as Kruz drove smoothly on. As well as meeting Kruz, and the birth of their beautiful daughter, these past few months had brought her some incredible friendships. Charlie and Alessandro—and Grace, who was more of a sister than a friend.
And Kruz.
Always Kruz.
Her heart ached with longing for him.
‘Grace has been working flat out with the housekeeper to get the nursery ready,’ he revealed, bringing her back to full attention.
‘But I won’t be staying long,’ she blurted, suddenly frightened of falling into this seductive way of life when it wasn’t truly hers. And Kruz wasn’t her man—not really.
‘We both wanted to do this for you,’ Kruz insisted. ‘The penthouse is your home for as long as you want it to be, Romy. You do know that, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’ Like a lodger.
She couldn’t say anything more. Her feelings were so mixed up. She was grateful—of course she was grateful—but she was still clinging to the illusion that somehow, some day, they could be a proper family. And that was just foolish. Now tears were stabbing the backs of her eyes again. Pressing her lips together, she willed herself to stop the flow. Kruz had enough on his plate without her blubbing all the time.
‘I really appreciate everything you’ve done,’ she said when she was calmer. ‘It’s just—’
‘You don’t want to feel caged,’ he supplied. ‘You’re proud and you want to do things your way. I think I get that, Romy.’
There was an edge to his voice that told her he felt shut out. Maybe there was no solution to this—maybe she just had to accept that and move on. She could see she was pushing him away, but it was only because she didn’t know what else to do without appearing to take too much for granted.
‘You’re very kind to let me stay at the penthouse,’ she said, realising even as she spoke that she had made herself sound more like a grateful lodger thanking her landlord than ever.
Kruz didn’t appear to notice, thank goodness, and as he pulled the limousine into the driveway of the Acosta family’s Palladian mansion he said, ‘And now you can get some well-earned rest. I’m determined you’re going to be spoiled a little, so enjoy it while you can. Stay there—I’m coming round to help you out.’
She gazed out of the window as she waited for Kruz to open the door. The Acosta family owned the whole of this stately building, which was to be her home for the next few weeks. Divided into gracious apartments, it was the sort of house she would never quite get used to entering by the front door, she realised with amusement.
‘This isn’t a time for independence, Romy,’ Kruz said, seeing her looking as he opened the door. ‘You’ll be happy here—and safe. And I want you to promise me that you’ll let Grace look after you while she’s here. It might only be for a few more days, but it’s important for Grace too. She’s proving something to herself—I think you know that.’
That her blind friend could have children and care for them as well as any other mother? Yes, she knew that. The fact that Kruz knew too proved how much they’d both changed.
‘Grace has been longing for this moment,’ he went on. ‘Everyone has been longing for this moment,’ he added, taking their tiny daughter out of her arms with the utmost care.
She would have to get used to this, Romy told herself wryly as Kruz closed her door and moved round to the back of the vehicle. But not too much, she thought, gazing up at the grand old white building in f
ront of them. This sort of life—this sort of house—was the polar opposite of what she could afford.
Every doubt she had was swept away the moment she walked inside the penthouse and saw Grace and the staff waiting to welcome her, and when she saw what they’d done, all the trouble Grace had gone to, she was instantly overwhelmed and tearful. They had transformed one of the larger bedroom suites into the most beautiful nursery, with a bathroom off.
‘Thank you,’ she said softly, walking back to Grace, who was standing in the doorway with her guide dog, Buddy. Touching Grace’s arm, Romy whispered, ‘I can’t believe you’ve done all this for me.’
‘It’s for Kruz as well as for you,’ Grace said gently. ‘And for your baby,’ she added, reaching out to find Romy and give her a hug. ‘I wanted you to come home to something special for you and your new family, Romy.’
If only, Romy thought, glancing at Kruz. They weren’t a proper family—not really. Kruz was doing this because he felt he should—because he was a highly principled man of duty and always had been.
Kruz caught her looking at him and stared back, so she nodded her head, smiling in a way she hoped would show him how much she appreciated everything he and Grace had done for her, whilst at the same time reassuring him that she didn’t expect him to devote the rest of his life to looking out for her.
She felt even more emotional when she put their tiny daughter into the beautifully carved wooden crib. Grace had dressed it with the finest Swiss lace, and the lace was so delicate she could imagine Grace selecting this particular fabric by touch. The thought moved her immeasurably. She wanted to hug Grace so hard neither of them could breathe. She wanted to tell Grace that having friends like her made her glad to be alive. She wanted to tell her that, having been so determined to go it alone, she was happy to be wrong. She wanted to be able to express her true feelings for Kruz, to let him know how much he meant to her. But she had to remind herself that they had agreed to do this as individuals, each of them taking a full part in their daughter’s life, but separately, and she couldn’t go back on her word.
Taming the Last AcostaItalian Boss, Proud Miss Prim Page 15
