Elliott frowned as he continued to put the pieces together. “What do you mean?”
“She was telling me that Natalie was too young and didn’t have a job and was too much of a ‘wounded bird’ for you.” Jim made air quotes.
Elliott’s back stiffened. “Where were you talking about this?”
“Kitchen.” Jim turned to look for another clipboard. “I wanted to stop for a second and talk to her about this because—hey, where are you going?”
“Gotta go,” Elliott yelled over his shoulder. “Where’s Nell?”
“Home.”
“And thanks, Colonel.”
Elliott took off at a run down the brick walkway.
The ballroom was decked out from top to bottom in crystal, white and silver, all reflecting the late-afternoon light. The chandeliers sparkled above, reflecting in the mirrored centerpieces within twenty tablecloth-clad round tables stretching across the room, each with a tall crystal vase that rose toward the ceiling. The vases were filled with tall white forsythia branches and a low ring of potted white hydrangeas, surrounded by tiny crystal votive candles that, tonight, would cast each table in an enchanted glow.
Natalie took one more sweep of the room, wiped her hands on her jeans, and decided everything looked perfect.
The whole Senior Prom planning crew had been there most of the afternoon—Doris, Marie, Judy, and all the others—setting out candles, flowers, and mirrored confetti; decorating the refreshments table; and making sure the evening’s agenda was memorized. Natalie had finally sent them all home to rest up and spend the remainder of the afternoon primping—getting their hair and nails done, zipping into their new dresses, and welcoming their children and grandchildren. The band would set up the sound system and the dance floor around four, and the catering staff would arrive in the evening to do the last few touches for the fondue fountain, champagne fountain, and lighting.
Natalie wouldn’t mind lying down for a few minutes herself. After her embarrassing panic attack that morning with Elliott, she might need a few extra minutes to pull herself together.
“You’ve got the touch,” she heard behind her.
She spun around to see Paige, standing there with the box she’d asked her to bring. “What?”
“The touch—Mom’s decorating touch. Everyone’s counting on me to be the one to take over her business, but I think it’s going to be you. Look at this place—it looks like a royal wedding reception. It’s absolutely stunning, Natalie.”
Natalie couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. It made her feel good to have come through for everyone. It meant the world to hear Paige acknowledge it. Especially when she’d screwed everything else up this morning. At least she got the Senior Prom right. And her time with Lily was something she’d always cherish. And Olivia was thrilled with everything she’d done in the new baby’s room.
“Where do you want this?” Paige juggled the box.
“Let’s put it on the back table.”
Olivia had given Natalie the collection of her grandmother’s old pocket watches and small silver clock faces, which Natalie was going to arrange in a silver bowl and use as a decoration next to the cake for their theme “Time Is of the Essence.”
“I think it’s brilliant to use Gram’s pocket watches. She’d have liked that. I’m sure she’ll be here in spirit,” Paige said, pulling the watches out of the box one by one. “So are you going to go home now and get ready for your big date with Elliott tonight? I can’t wait to see him in a tuxedo.”
“He’s going with someone else.”
Paige snapped her head up. “What? I thought he was going with you.”
“He deserves better than me, Paige. And his sister seems to think so, too.”
“What?”
“She doesn’t think I’m good enough for him.” Natalie forced a smile, but she knew it came out twisted at best. “And I’m probably not. She wants him with someone who knows how to commit.”
“His sister is crazy. You’re meant for each other.”
Tears started to blur Natalie’s vision, and she had to look away.
“I’m serious. You two belong together, Nat.”
Natalie tried to smile. This was probably just how things were supposed to go.
A back door slammed, and Natalie looked up to see Doris walking in with an extra handful of napkins.
“These go on the cake table, right?” she asked.
“Doris, you’re supposed to be home getting ready,” Natalie said.
“I’m about to leave. This looks beautiful. I think it’s lovely you’re using your grandmother’s old watch faces. So pretty. We’re all going to party tonight, aren’t we? I can’t wait to see you dancing with Dr. Sherman, Natalie. You two are going to look smashing.”
“Natalie’s not going with Elliott,” Paige blurted out.
Doris’s head shot up. “What?”
“That’s exactly what I said.” Paige rolled her eyes. “Personally, I think she’s just getting spooked.”
“I’m not getting ‘spooked.’ Elliott and I just weren’t meant to be.”
“You two are perfect for each other—everyone but you can see that. You’re just getting spooked.”
The watches suddenly didn’t look right, and Natalie shakily rearranged them in the silver bowl. “I’m not looking for a long-term relationship. And Elliott needs that.”
“Spooked,” Paige whispered to Doris.
Doris took the watches out of Natalie’s hands. She laid the bowl aside, then took each of Natalie’s hands in her own.
“Now listen here, young lady. Men like Elliott do not come along every day. Men who have staying power, and loyalty, and kindness, and who adore you with all their hearts—they are one in a million. Why would you walk away from that?”
“I just—I hadn’t planned to stay here. I can’t . . .” Her heart picked up its crazy rhythm again, and she pulled her hands out of Doris’s to press against her chest.
“Are you hyperventilating, dear?” Doris asked calmly.
Paige nodded. “She’s a commitment-phobe.”
“I can tell,” Doris said.
Natalie pressed her palms harder. Took deeper breaths. Sank into a folding chair.
“Here, have some water,” Doris said, grabbing for a bottle under the table. “How long has this been going on?”
“Just since—” Natalie sucked in some air. “A minute ago, when you said—”
“No, no, darling—I mean, how long have you had panic attacks every time the idea of commitment entered your head?”
Natalie took a few steadying breaths and glanced at Paige. Maybe Paige really had been right all this time. “I guess forever.”
“When it first made you nervous, what was it specifically that made you think it was scary?”
The water tasted so good. The parquet dance floor blurred in front of Natalie as she let gulps of water slide down her throat and thought back to other dance floors, other tulle-decked chairs, other catered parties . . .
“I guess our mom,” she finally said. “She was always moving in and out of relationships. They never seemed to work. And she told me that I shouldn’t marry until I was at least thirty. That I should keep moving, keep exploring myself.”
“I’ll attest to that,” Paige said. “But just because relationships didn’t work out for Mom doesn’t mean it wouldn’t for you. Or me. Or Olivia.”
“Exactly,” Doris said. “You have to rewrite the script in your head. It’s okay to change your mind, once you see that some relationships do work. Being committed to someone can be a very beautiful thing, dear.”
“I’m always just worried about getting stuck with someone or something. What if I make a terrible mistake?” she breathed out.
“There are no guarantees,” Doris said. “But you can’t live your
life filled with worry over things that haven’t happened. What kind of life is that? Just stay in the present, darling. If you’re happy in the present, live in the present. If you’re in a relationship or a job or a home or a city that’s making you happy right now, simply live in that right now. Don’t run away from good things because they may fall apart later. You’ll never enjoy them fully.”
Natalie kept her hand across her chest as she thought that over; then she took another sip of water. The law of probability, she thought. If something were making her happy right now, and had a 75 percent chance of making her happy tomorrow, maybe she should take a chance. She didn’t want to keep letting good things slip away.
“What if something else comes along?” she asked.
“There will always be lots of other possibilities that come along, but if you spend your energy on making yours the best—rather than looking at the other possibilities—you’ll be happy always. But you have to commit first to feel the deep love there.”
Natalie stared at the watches. That did make sense. She’d found that committing herself to staying here on the island for the three months did result in her taking pride and control. And she’d found so many things and people to love here. “Have you ever regretted a commitment, Doris?”
“No. I’ve always thrown my heart in. During the war, you know, we didn’t know how much time we were going to have. So we threw our hearts into everything. I was committed to dancing. I was committed to the studio. I had a wonderful marriage. I have wonderful children. I will leave this world with no regrets. I know I gave them all everything I had. And you know what? Nothing really is forever. Sometimes the things you commit to leave you before you’re ready. My husband died. I had a child who died, too. So you need to take hold of them and seize them and enjoy them while they’re yours to enjoy. And give them your whole heart.”
The watches blurred under Natalie’s vision as she thought about that. Doris was right—everyone was on borrowed time. And when you were given the gift of love, whether from a sister or a niece or a grandmother or a man, you should treat it as such—a true gift. One you might not be allowed to enjoy forever. But one you could decide to enjoy as long as time would let you.
“I have to talk to Elliott,” she whispered. “I might have blown it already, pushing him toward some other woman. And his sister still might never approve of me. But I need to at least explain to him what he meant to me. He deserves that.”
“Just be open to the idea of a relationship,” Paige said. “Don’t be scared. This is worth taking a chance on. I admire you, Natalie. And I love you to death.”
“You admire me?”
“Of course. I admire your independence, and how you always land on your feet. And how you completed this mancation. And how, no matter what, you can find a passion. And hey, I admire this.” She waved her hand across the decorated room.
Doris nodded her agreement.
“Thanks, you two.” Natalie stood.
Both women turned and threw their arms around her.
“Now go get that guy,” Doris whispered in her ear.
Elliott took the steps two at a time up to Nell’s town house and jabbed his finger at the doorbell until it just became obnoxious.
“Elliott! Stop! I hear you,” Nell said, swinging the door open.
“I know you’re trying to take care of me, and ensure my happiness, but I can’t abide by this anymore.”
Her eyes widened. “Hello to you, too. C’mon in. And you can’t abide by what?”
“I can’t come in. I just want to come to tell you to stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Butting into my life.”
“Butting into your life? What are you talking about?”
“Look, Nell, I love you. Dearly. You’ve been a great sister to me, and I know you have only my best interests at heart. And I will never forget that you saved my life that day. And that you basically raised me ever since. But I think you’ve been protecting me for so long, you don’t know where your wants for me and my true wants begin and end.”
Nell scooped Max up off the entryway floor. “Elliott, what are you talking about?”
Elliott lowered his voice near Max. “I need you to stay out of my love life. And stop with the blind dates. And stop interfering with women like Natalie Grant.”
“Natalie Grant? Are we still on this? I thought you were taking Vanessa tonight.”
“I was. But I’m canceling.”
“Canceling? Elliott, I flew her in especially for this event. I have her staying here for two nights. Can’t you just show her around?”
“No.”
Nell’s eyes grew wide. And then misted over.
Elliott looked away. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he had to put an end to this.
“You’ll have to show her around yourself. I’m meeting Natalie at the dance tonight.”
“You can’t just fall in love with the first pretty young thing who pays attention to you. You have to give this some thought.”
He blinked back at her. “You think I haven’t given this some thought?”
“I just think you’re swayed by the first beautiful woman paying attention to you, and you’re not thinking properly. Natalie isn’t right for you.”
Elliott looked away and ground his teeth together. “That’s what I’m talking about. You need to back out of this. You think you know what’s best for me, but you’re not asking me how I feel about it. You want me to have a woman who will take care of me, but you don’t understand that what I need is a woman I can take care of. I feel like I’ve been running all my life—away from fears, away from people, away from getting too close to others for fear they’ll die on me. I focus on work because it’s easier than facing life, or people. But here’s what I know—ever since I met Natalie, I haven’t felt fear. In fact, I worry about her fears, and all I want to do is protect her. And protecting Natalie has given me a confidence and a courage I didn’t even know I had. Courage, and love, and protecting her, and being a man—they’re all intertwined for me now. They’re all wrapped up in meeting her. I’ve never felt so whole and alive as I have these past three months. You have to give me this, Nell. You have to let me go. And stop worrying about me. Let me feel that same kind of love you do for someone else.”
She bounced Max in her arms as her eyes glistened.
“I just don’t want someone to be taking from you all the time,” she said in a small voice. “You’re very giving, and I don’t want someone taking advantage of you.”
“She’s not taking from me. She’s giving to me.”
“What is she giving you?”
“Courage. Love. Laughter. Confidence. A reason to come home every day. And acceptance—a lot of acceptance—she never wants to change me.”
Nell looked away. He didn’t quite mean that as the barb it probably felt like, but she took it that way. And he didn’t correct her.
“She’s not taking your money?” she asked weakly.
“She doesn’t even know I have money. And the few things I’ve offered to pay for—she never takes my help. She even wants to buy my groceries all the time.”
Nell stared at one of Max’s complicated bead toys and thought that over. “She’s never asked you for anything?”
“Not once.”
She bounced Max once more and then put him down to crawl on the floor. “I can try to give her a chance.”
“Give her a chance? Nell, you just drove her away! She overheard you talking to Jim today in my kitchen and heard your ‘wounded bird’ comment. She’s convinced now she’s not right for me.”
Nell bit her lip and watched Max. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. But could you just finish this date with Vanessa and then—”
“No! Nell, no. You’re not getting it. I’m in love with Natalie.”
A
s soon as the words left his mouth, he sucked in some air. Damn. He hadn’t even admitted that out loud to himself yet. And there it was. Out in the open. He was in love with Natalie.
“And now she’s leaving,” he said. “And I think both of us have blown it. This might have cost me the best thing that ever happened to me.”
A silence fell as Nell continued to bite her lip. Max cooed and reached up for her. “What can I do?” she whispered.
He was stunned that she finally seemed to get it.
“It might be too late to do anything,” he admitted. “But I want one more chance to talk to her tonight. And I don’t want you interfering. If you see her tonight, I want you to be polite. No more meddling.”
A tear started to roll down Nell’s cheek. Elliott felt bad. He wasn’t angry. But he just needed to make things right now.
He reached out and pulled her to him. “I love you, Nell.”
She crushed her face against his shirt. “Sunrises, Elliott.”
“Sunrises, sis.”
They stood that way for several seconds, the setting sun streaming in low across the porch, remembering all they’d meant to each other as kids but knowing they needed to move forward now as adults with their individual lives. Finally, Elliott stepped away and held her shoulders.
“Now I need you to get something for me.”
CHAPTER 27
The cool sea air swept her long dress around her ankles as Natalie ascended the steps at the outside entrance to the Casas del Sur ballroom. She wasn’t used to attending events solo—she’d always kept a man on her arm to feel more secure, free from other men’s leers—but this felt strangely comfortable.
The Colonel had pulled her into his room earlier, made her a martini, and filled her in on his whole outline for how he planned to get Steve Stegner out of his position with a new board of directors the seniors were petitioning for. They’d petitioned the owner weeks ago. And he told her the board was unanimous about wanting Natalie to take Steve’s place—they hoped if they hurried, she’d consider staying on the island and taking the job.
The Kiss on Castle Road (A Lavender Island Novel) Page 29
