Momentary Lapse

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Momentary Lapse Page 11

by Toni J Strawn


  Cole blinked. “Really? Your first?” Now he really started to laugh. “I forgot this is all new to you.”

  “What? Being poor and at the mercy of others?” Madison snorted softly. “Hardly.” She looked up at Cole’s puzzled expression. “I didn’t start out as Madison St. James, you know.”

  “The Madison St. James?” His eyes flashed with amusement. “I think I’ve heard of you.”

  Madison rolled her eyes, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. Confessing to unemployment did nothing to further her cause. And she was struck again by how much she wanted Cole to think well of her.

  “I do a lot of charity work,” she defended her style of living. It wasn’t like she’d swanned around doing late lunches and getting her nails done. Much. “I’m often called on to model clothes and jewelry for auctions, or just to turn up as their poster girl. Mother likes me to be available to promote her charities.”

  “I’m sure she does,” Cole said dryly. “One must be seen doing the right thing. A pity charity never seems to start at home.” He turned onto his back and clasped his hands behind his head. “So how did she take it when you told her you had a real job?”

  Madison frowned. “Helping Jess hardly qualifies as a job. It’s not like she needs a babysitter.”

  In fact, Jess was so obviously not an invalid, Madison was beginning to suspect Cole might have set this up more to help her. And get her back into his bed…not that she was complaining.

  “So you haven’t told her?” Cole queried softly. When Madison shook her head, his gaze narrowed. “Does she think you’re with Logan?”

  She stilled, his dangerous tone causing fingers of ice to drizzle between her shoulder blades. Her chin dropped. “I have to let her think that, otherwise she’d make me move back to Baltimore.”

  “So, you’re still lying.” Cole’s voice was flat. Emotionless.

  Madison couldn’t bring herself to look at him. To see the disappointment on his face. She sat up and fumbled for her top, the chill in the air palpable.

  She was fooling herself if she thought she’d escaped the confines of her past life. Meeting Cole had doomed Madison to sit between two worlds—and fit neither. She didn’t want to be the pampered princess who barely contributed to society. But it was so obvious she didn’t belong in Jess and Cole’s world either. She wasn’t real enough. She still had ghosts in her past to take care of.

  “What would you know?” she said, bitterness nipping at the back of her tongue. Cole would never understand. It was easy for him to lie here and judge her. He had his sister, a family who cared about him. No one expected his every action to be about making the family look better. He was loved for who he was.

  Besides, even if Madison wanted to change her life, she couldn’t. She’d made a promise to her mother. She would never do anything to jeopardize the life they had. Despite Patricia’s tough exterior, Madison understood how fragile she could be. Her mother had once balanced precariously on the knife-edge, where she’d claimed she’d rather not exist at all than live in squalor and poverty. There had been times when Madison came home from school, terrified of what she might find…

  “I know more than you could ever guess. I was just hoping you were different.” The bed dipped and shifted as Cole got up and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting out any chance Madison had of turning things around.

  The shower hissed and she lowered her head to her hands. She’d wanted this with Cole, the opportunity to reignite the spark of desire that tripped into flame whenever he was near. So, why did it always end so badly? Sharing herself with Cole had only complicated things. So instead of being able to relax and let her guard down, enjoy a morning of sensual pleasure, Madison had never felt more alone.

  Worse still? She couldn’t find it in herself to regret one moment of it. Why else had she clung to the dream of being in Cole’s arms, knowing full well it’d been anchored in delicious reality? Cole might not like who he thought Madison was, but for those times he treated her as someone to be adored, she wouldn’t change a thing.

  He barely glanced up when he came out of the bathroom. She put on her robe, sifting through her closet for the day’s outfit, while he moved around with practiced economy. Packing his bag.

  Leaving.

  When he finally did turn to look at her, he raked her body with his gaze, lingering for a moment. Heat flared between them, then cooled as his stare settled on her face.

  Madison shivered, needles of ice dancing down her spine. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something—anything—to dispel the distance that had sprung between them. Her need must have shown in her face. Even as his remote demeanor tore her to shreds, his hard expression faltered. Softened.

  He gathered her roughly in his arms and kissed her hard, fast, and all too quickly. “Look after Jess,” he said, letting her go just as abruptly as he’d grabbed her up.

  “Will you be back?” Madison couldn’t stop from asking.

  They both knew she meant more than just coming back to Wellsford. Back in her bed…in her life?

  God, if Patricia could see her now—practically groveling at the feet of someone like Cole Langford.

  “I don’t know.” His voice was raw. He stopped mid-turn to give her one last look.

  Then he left.

  Chapter Twelve

  “How’s Madison?” Cole had lasted two days until he had to ask.

  “Why don’t you talk to her yourself?” Jess retorted.

  The sharpness in her voice brought Cole back to the real reason for his call. It was physiotherapy day—never a good day in Jess’s book. Today, she was even more out of sorts.

  His grip tightened on the phone. “Everything okay?” He fought to squash the spurt of panic. Anger generally meant pain for Jess. He’d thought she’d been going well, but she’d been so secretive lately…

  Her short laugh nudged his unease another notch. “If you call being surrounded by a bunch of douche therapists okay.” He heard a thud as if she’d kicked something. Hopefully not breakable. Cole winced at the thought of all the expensive items in Madison’s apartment.

  “So, just the usual?” He kept his voice light.

  “Yes,” Jess replied, sounding much more like the sullen sister he knew and loved.

  Cole breathed out a silent sigh of relief. She didn’t like going to physio. And who could blame her. It hurt. He got that. Better Jess take it out on him than someone else.

  Like Madison.

  “And Madison?” he asked again. “She’s okay?”

  “What, you want to know about all the guys she’s seeing while you’re away?” The imp came back into Jess’s voice.

  Cole closed his eyes against a sudden surge of jealousy. She was ribbing him. Right? Finger by finger, he loosened his death grip on the phone. And felt a momentary pang of guilt. He should be more interested in Jess’s welfare from Madison’s point of view, not the other way around. Except Cole wasn’t ready to talk to her yet. He was still angry Madison didn’t trust him to take care of her without running back to her mother, but he wasn’t that much of an asshole he didn’t understand. He felt shit about the way things had ended.

  “No, it’s not important.”

  Silence stretched all the way down the phone line. “You like her, don’t you?”

  “No.” The word shot out quickly, but the full fire of Cole’s denial was missing. His sister let out a disbelieving snort and he rubbed a hand through his hair. “It’s not that simple, Jess. Madison is…she’s…” He sought the words to describe her.

  Privileged. Impractical. Naïve.

  “Beautiful. Elegant. Kind.” Jess chipped in with all the words Cole didn’t want to acknowledge. Not when it came to Madison. “She’s perfect, like a freakin’ cake decoration.” His sister’s voice softened. “You deserve someone like that.”

  Cole bit back a lau
gh. Jess thought he was scared to be with Madison because he wasn’t good enough? She moved in circles he had nothing but derision for—circles frequented by Russell Langford, the uncle who had ripped Cole’s one chance at a better future away from him. Ruthlessly ripped Jess’s future from her too.

  No. Jess had it wrong.

  He had nothing to prove to Madison. She had everything to prove to them. And she was acquitting herself better than Cole expected, even if she did seem to have a foot in either camp. Give her a few more weeks, and Cole was sure Madison would begin to see she could make it with his help. She would start to see her old world for the cesspit it was.

  He wanted to explain all this to Jess, but had to bite his tongue. He didn’t intend for Jess to find out why he’d been expelled from the prestigious school his uncle had sent him to. How he’d been forced to take the rap for drugs found in Thomas Langford’s locker. “It’s for the good of the family.” That was what Russell had said, while Thomas had stood by and watched it all happen.

  Cole had tried to fight. When he’d protested his innocence, Russell had been quick to remind him exactly who had paid for him to attend the school he was now being kicked out of. He’d called in the debt and there was nothing Cole could do about it.

  “Life isn’t always fair,” Russell had explained at the time. “But if you’ve got money, you’ve got power…do you have any money, boy?”

  Cole could still see the ugly, twisted smile on his uncle’s face. He’d never forgotten the feeling of helplessness as he’d sat on the hard seat in the principal’s office, taking the blame for something he hadn’t done. He’d been humiliated, marched out of school the same day, sent home to the wrong side of town—his side of town—without a second chance. Cole had told his mother he’d changed his mind about the school. That he didn’t fit there. She’d never questioned his story…but he’d always wondered if she’d known.

  Marcus had stood by him, just like he had through all of the bullying, the name-calling…being shunned as trailer-trash. When Cole left school, his misery ended. Marcus had been left to finish alone and he carried scars just as brutal as Cole’s.

  “When are you back in town?”

  Cole refocused as Jess cut through his bitter thoughts. He almost laughed. The last six months he’d chased after his sister, trying everything to get her to include him in her life. Now she thought she had something on him—Madison—and all of a sudden he was chocolate flavored.

  “Tomorrow.” Cole tamped down the flare of excitement at the thought of seeing Madison again. He rolled his eyes. Thank God Jess couldn’t see him in all his pining glory. Besides which, he did have other things to consider. “Something’s come up with the mall site, so I’ll be spending a lot more time in Wellsford. For a while at least.”

  “Something came up? Mmm-hmm.” Jess hummed out her suspicion.

  “Actually, it has,” Cole said, finally able to drag his thoughts off Madison and onto business. Marcus had phoned him earlier to voice his concerns over a shell company causing trouble for his big, new development. Cole hoped to get it sorted quickly. That would give him a whole lot more time at his temporary lodgings, getting to know his new roommate.

  “Anything I can do?” Jess offered, concern pricking at her voice.

  “Just look after yourself.” Cole blew her off. “Do your exercises. It’ll give me one less thing to worry about.”

  There was a sizeable pause. “I don’t need you to babysit me, Cole.” Her tone took on an arctic chill. “I’m old enough to vote, you know. And drink.”

  Cole ignored her barbed response. All he wanted was for Jess to concentrate on building up strength in her leg. The rest he could take care of. “Suck it up, little sis,” he teased lightly. “This is who I am and I’m all you’ve got.”

  “I’m all you’ve got too.” Jess huffed in his ear. “You might want to remember that.”

  She hung up. Leaving Cole frowning at his phone. As if he didn’t think about that every day. With an effort he shrugged off her cryptic comment. He didn’t have time for Jess’s tanties now. Despite his sister thinking he spent all his time checking up on her, he did actually have a bloody big deal hanging in the wind. And according to Marcus, someone might be about to kick up a shit-storm of trouble.

  Speaking of which… He called his friend for an update. “Have you found out anything else?”

  “It should’ve passed easily,” Marcus answered in frustration. “There’s nothing standing in the way, except it looks like someone is about to lodge a claim of historical significance.”

  “On my site?” Cole closed his eyes and groaned. Marcus didn’t need to explain how bad this could be. Even if the claim wasn’t upheld, no construction work could be started until it was fully investigated. Which could take months. Years, even. His mouth went dry. “Who lodged it?” Three years he’d put into this project. Three years and nearly every single penny he owned. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.

  “Salamond Holdings.” The tightness in Marcus’s voice only increased Cole’s apprehension.

  “And?”

  “And I can’t find a damn thing about them,” his friend said grimly.

  Which was worse than Cole had expected. Marcus was a big player in the market and if he couldn’t dig up details, this business really didn’t want to be found.

  Which made it all the more suspicious.

  “Keep searching,” Cole urged. “I’m heading there now.”

  “You don’t need to come. Stay in Buffalo.”

  The assertion pricked Cole’s male pride. He wasn’t completely fucking hopeless. “I know how to run my own business.” Silence at the other end signaled he was being an asshole. He sighed, checking himself. “Sorry. Uncalled for. But I am coming to Wellsford,” he stressed. “I want to personally break the balls of whoever’s trying to shaft me.”

  And Cole had some bad vibes about who that might be. If Marcus didn’t find anything soon, Cole fully intended to rattle the family tree and see who fell out of the branches.

  It was exactly the reminder Cole needed to remain wary of Madison, to not let himself get sucked in. She had lain with the enemy a long time, chameleons who presented one perfect side to the world, while hiding their blackened hearts behind white, toothy smiles. He would never trust them. Not ever.

  But that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy seeing Madison. Cole was too much of a realist to fool himself into thinking he didn’t want her. That would be blown out of the water as soon as he laid eyes on her, smelled her delicate scent and looked into those perfect soft, brown eyes.

  But he would remember who she was. What she could be. And he would be careful. For him and for Jess.

  * * * * *

  Madison totally enjoyed having Jess around. After her days on the bitchy pageant circuit, it was refreshing to find someone so unaware of their beauty, both inside and out.

  In fact, she felt bad Cole was paying her to have Jess here. All she’d been doing was talking and laughing like a teenager on an extended sleepover. Make-up, clothes swapping, gossip…the whole nine yards.

  Most of their gossip had been about Cole. Jess had spilled all the good stuff. Stories about him growing up, how cheeky and troublesome he’d been right up until he went away to school. It’d made Madison think about Cole in a whole new way. A sexy, mischievous way.

  Which is why, when he showed up at her apartment, Madison couldn’t stop staring at him…or quell the excitement dancing in her belly. He walked in to dump his suitcase in Madison’s bedroom. Something she didn’t bother bringing up. Had that lock of hair always tumbled over his brow like that? Her palms went clammy with anticipation. How had she forgotten the smolder in the depths of his eyes? They were the purest blue, like being lost in the heart of an iceberg.

  Thank goodness Jess was out for the day. She wasn’t around to witness Madison’s tongue roll ou
t as she panted after her big brother. Yes. There was no point denying Madison would spend time in Cole’s bed if he asked.

  And would beg if he didn’t.

  “How’s Jess?” Cole barely looked her way as he threw his keys on the counter and leaned his delectable ass on a stool.

  Madison sank onto the couch, disappointment nipping in her belly as she shoved back any hopes of picking up where they’d left off.

  Naked. Needing. Naughty.

  “Ah. Good. Better than good.” She smiled brightly, forcing cheer into her voice. “She’s great, isn’t she? I’ve never met anyone so…genuine.”

  “Yes, I can imagine that’s not something you come across often,” Cole said dryly. He cocked his head to look at her. “She seems happy enough.”

  Madison shrugged, tamping back her irritation. “Prada shoes and silk dresses will do that to a girl.”

  Cole scowled. “She isn’t like that.”

  She’s not like you.

  He didn’t need to add the unspoken words. They were right there in his voice.

  But his eyes told a different story. Desire. Confusion. Guilt. He didn’t want to feel like this. To want her. The knowledge stung, then faded as he crossed the room and sank down in front of her. He cupped her face, saying nothing, just pressing his forehead to Madison’s. Tension vibrated through every line of his body.

  “I’m sorry,” he breathed.

  His apology prompted Madison to make the first move. Truth was, she didn’t want to want him either. But she did. And it seemed stupid to deny them both.

  She tilted her head to press her lips to his and unleashed the power behind the dam. With a growl, Cole lunged forward to return her kiss, his tongue flicking out to lick along the seam of her mouth, catching her off-guard. Madison gasped and he took advantage, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth, biting down. Her eyes flew to his and he pulled back, leaving Madison even more confused.

  A smile teased his lips, his eyes filled with desire. Only desire. “Perhaps I should make you happy?” he suggested with a devilish grin.

 

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