by Maeve Haran
‘Are you a friend of that other chap?’
Stella looked gobsmacked. ‘What other chap?’
‘Night before last. Tall and grey-haired. Fancy dresser. Tanned skin like he’s been on holiday. It was his shoes I noticed. They made me laugh. Blue suede shoes. He asked about the boy too.’
‘Blue suede shoes?’ Stella realized she was sounding like a parrot.
‘Yeah, you know,’ he suddenly warbled, wiggling his hips: ‘You can do anything but don’t step on my blue suede shoes . . .’
Stella felt a stab of fear. What did this man want with her grandson? The thought of all the terrible things that could happen to an innocent and good-looking boy flooded into her mind.
‘Could you give him a message?’
‘What, the man with the blue suede shoes?’
‘No. Jesse. My grandson. If you see him again, could you ask him to call me?’ She wrote down the number in case somehow Jesse had lost it. ‘Tell him I’ve been looking everywhere for him and I won’t make him come home. I just want to talk to him.’
‘Will do.’ The Beach Hut Man nodded. ‘At least, I will if I see him.’
‘Thanks a lot.’ Stella squeezed his hand. He smiled back. She was an attractive woman. For her age. ‘You’re doing a great job here.’
She turned back towards the town. Now all she had to do was find the man with the blue suede shoes. And discover what the hell he was doing looking for her grandson. And hope to goodness that Jesse would ring her.
Seventeen
————
The bus she jumped on only went as far as the pier, so Stella was soon deposited among a crowd of laughing holiday-makers, some of whom had caught the sun and were glowing a fiery pink which would give them sleepless nights later.
She debated whether to wait for another bus or walk the half-mile to her hotel. On a whim she decided to walk along the pier and grab some lunch. Strolling along with the wind blowing in her hair she came to the booth showing the photographs from the Crazy Mouse. Duncan had taken a copy but the original was still there.
Stella smiled to herself ruefully, admitting it was no accident she found herself on the pier again. She wanted a copy too. She paid the rip-off cost of £7.50 while they printed one up and then placed it carefully in the front pocket of her handbag. Then she ordered fish and chips and ate them sitting on a bench watching a group of mothers with their toddlers on the beach below run in and out of the sea screaming with delight. Soon Ruby would be old enough to do that. She hoped desperately that Emma and Stuart could sort themselves out and persuade Jesse that they had done so, so that their family could be healed. Somehow it was worse when your child’s marriage failed than it was when your own did, because you experienced their sadness and sense of failure, plus the guilt of wondering if you also held some responsibility. Had you not loved them enough, failed to make them feel sufficiently secure so that they could give love, or had you not given them the right example of what a stable, loving family ought to be?
She finished her lunch and set off back down the pier. What would she do if she hadn’t found Jesse by tomorrow? She would have to go back to her real life and take up the reins of normality. The thought depressed her.
In front of her a couple were posing for a seaside photographer who was saying something funny that was making them laugh. She saw him take photographs of other couples and families, just on spec, as they strolled along the pier. Could he have taken a photo of Duncan and her without them even knowing?
Feeling sixteen again she looked at the board, plastered with photos of happy holidaying people. There, right in the bottom corner, was a photograph of Duncan and her. Stella glanced round guiltily as if someone might come up and accuse her of unforgivably foolish behaviour, then ordered a copy from the photographer.
Duncan was leaning over her and whispering something in her ear. She had no idea what it was but she had her head down, looking almost shy. She wondered if she looked like that in photographs with Matthew. Young, eager, almost hesitant.
And Matthew. Wasn’t he totally different with Fabia to how he had been with her?
As she pondered these questions she suddenly noticed what Duncan was wearing. A dark bomber jacket over a white tee shirt, faded blue jeans and blue suede shoes. That meant that it had been Duncan who had been on the beach looking for Jesse. Duncan had known that Jesse was hiding out in Kirsty’s parents’ beach hut and even though she had been eaten up with worry he hadn’t told her!
She felt herself going white with anger. What the hell did he think he was up to? She half ran back down the pier, glad she was wearing trainers, and crossed the road to The Old Galleon.
Debora was sitting sunning herself on the terrace.
‘Stella! Duncan’s been hunting high and low for you. He’s looking like a kid at Christmas. I don’t know what you two are hatching. I thought it was Cameron you’d wanted to see.’
At that moment Duncan spilled out of the bar, looking so relieved to see her that she forgot about the Beach Hut Man’s revelation.
‘Is it Jesse?’
Duncan just smiled. ‘Come on. I’ve got a cab waiting.’
In five minutes they were outside the record shop.
She had hardly opened the door when a lanky figure shot out and flung himself into her arms, half dragging her down the street so that his comrades wouldn’t witness the tears he was trying so hard to disguise.
Stella almost wept as well, with love and relief, and delight that he so clearly wanted to be found.
Before she could speak a dog tore out of the shop and barked at them jealously, jumping up between them, outraged at having a rival for the object of her adoration.
‘Down, Licky!’ Jesse grinned.
But the dog was having none of it. She continued to bark furiously until Jesse bent down and picked her up in his arms.
‘Do you think Mum and Dad will let me keep her? You’ll have her if they don’t, won’t you, please, Gran?’
‘I will,’ intervened Duncan.
They both looked at him in surprise. ‘But you live in California,’ Stella reminded him.
‘I’m thinking of moving back. It’s no place for the old.’
‘I thought it was where the old all went. For the heat.’
‘That’s Florida. Anyway they’re Americans. Oddly enough you get to miss the old country.’
‘But what about Cameron?’
‘Cameron’ll survive. Are you thinking of going with him?’ She knew he was only teasing, that he knew perfectly well that the suggestion was ludicrous.
‘Duncan,’ Stella remembered she was furious with him, ‘don’t be so bloody ridiculous!’
Jesse watched them both, smiling to himself.
‘Gran, do you know what?’ Jesse asked, his eyes shining. ‘Duncan’s asked if I want to play guitar with Cameron tomorrow. He says he put some mad offer about it on their website.’
‘Stupid of me,’ Duncan admitted. ‘A hip brat like you would never have looked at our website anyway.’
She saw the grin that flashed between them. Duncan seemed to have a way with Jesse which was all the more surprising as he had no kids of his own.
‘That’s very generous of Duncan.’ Stella smiled her thanks.
‘How else do you think he persuaded me to give myself in?’ Jesse’s mischievous tone reassured Stella that he had clearly survived his adventure without too much damage.
‘Don’t forget, you troublesome youth, we’ve got to OK it with Cameron first.’
‘You’ve got to ring your mum and dad. Now!’ Stella got out her phone and handed it to him.
‘Jesse!’ shouted Emma when she realized it was her son. ‘Oh God, Jess, you idiot, you darling, are you all right?’
‘Jess, my God!’ This time it was Stuart. ‘I’m coming to get you. Now, this minute!’
‘Dad, Dad, calm down! I can’t leave till Saturday lunchtime. I promised the people I work for.’
‘The pe
ople you work for? But surely we matter more than they do?’ He realized his mistake, that he was treating Jesse like a child again, riding roughshod over Jesse’s needs, even. ‘OK, OK, whatever you say, but Jess? You promise you won’t do a runner?’
Jesse laughed. ‘Gran’s here. She’s not going to let me out of her sight, are you, Gran?’
Stella suddenly realized the import of Jesse’s words. If he wouldn’t leave Brighton till lunchtime on Saturday she wouldn’t be back in time for the concert in her own garden! Biting back her disappointment, Stella realized that staying with Jesse mattered more to her than the concert.
‘Jess, we’ve been so worried about you,’ Stuart continued, his voice raw with anguish. ‘We love you, Jess. You do know that? There’s been a big hole in the family without you.’
‘Yes, Dad. I know that.’
‘Things will be different. We’ll all sit down and talk about it together. As a family.’
‘Even Ruby?’
Stuart laughed. ‘Even Ruby. She’s missed you too. And Izzy keeps laying a place for you at supper.’
Jesse brushed a tear off his face roughly. ‘Give her a hug from me.’
‘Mum wants to speak to Gran.’
Jesse handed the phone to Stella. ‘Are you sure he’s going to come home?’ Emma asked her.
‘I’ll bring him, don’t worry.’
‘But you’ve got the concert in your garden. You can’t stay there till lunch on Saturday. The doors open at one-thirty. I’ll come down and get him.’
‘Your mum says she’ll come and get you today.’
With all the self-centredness of youth, Jesse shook his head vehemently.
‘It’s all right. I’ll stay.’
Jesse smiled at her gratefully. That was worth the sacrifice. Besides, there were plenty of others who could hold the fort. Suze. Debora. Matthew and Fabia.
With a jolt she realized that she had mentally bracketed them together. She wouldn’t think about that now. She’d found her grandson!
‘Why don’t we all go and find some food?’ Duncan suggested. ‘Now that we’ve found the selfish runaway I’ve realized how starving I am.’
Stella glanced anxiously at her grandson to see how he would take this, but he was smiling happily. ‘Some of us have jobs.’
Duncan cracked with appreciative laughter. ‘Touché. Yes, I do realize I am a parasite on the world of nine-to-five. Stella?’
Stella shook her head. Her feelings about Duncan were too complicated already. Besides, she’d told Debora she’d be back.
They walked back to The Old Galleon.
‘Why didn’t you tell me you thought you’d found him? The Beach Hut Man said you’d already been down there looking for him. I came here wanting to murder you.’
‘I didn’t know if it was really Jesse at the beach hut.’ He stopped for a moment, looking at her intently. ‘I know you’re a strong woman, Stella. But even strong people can be fragile sometimes. Jesse has no idea of the stress he’s put you under, the little beast. I was worried what it would be like for you if it was all a blind alley.’
They were almost back at the hotel. They stood outside for a moment feeling the power of the sunshine on their faces. ‘Thank you, Duncan, for all the trouble you’ve been to.’
‘I like Jesse. I think he’s got a lot of potential.’
‘I wish his parents could see it.’
‘He’s shown he can survive without them. At his age that takes a lot of nerve. And I’m pretty sure underneath the bluster his parents are shit scared that he’s managed to do that. Maybe they’ll try harder now they know he’s capable of walking away from them. And strong enough to do it.’
Stella sighed. ‘I really do hope so.’
For a moment it looked as if he wanted to say something else but Cameron burst out of the door, the first five buttons of his shirt undone, revealing thick grey hair that wouldn’t have shamed a yak. ‘Hello, Dunc, old mate. You’re for it, I can tell you. You’d better come in and face the damage.’ He smiled at Stella as if she had never wounded his tender pride. ‘Stella, the very woman I wanted to see. I gather there’s something particular you wanted to ask me.’ He flicked Duncan away as if he were an annoying fly and pushed him into the revolving doors. ‘Now what was it you wanted me to do?’
Stella explained her plan to rid them all of Amber, while Cameron listened, sipping his Krug and nodding wisely. ‘Not bad, not bad. It might work. Let’s bloody hope so, eh?’
‘So what’s Duncan in disgrace for now?’
‘What do you think, my lovely? Spending too much time with you, of course. Despite your ageing womb.’
‘Cameron, please, or I might have to assault you in public which wouldn’t be at all good for your image.’
‘Her words, not mine. Tell you what, though, I happen to know it was Amber who planted the gout story, and I don’t think Duncan will appreciate that, do you?’
‘How on earth do you know that?’
‘The rock critic on the Post’s a mate of mine. We were in rehab together.’
Stella looked stunned that Cameron had ever been in rehab.
Cameron read her thoughts and grinned. ‘His worked better than mine.’
‘You know what, Cameron Keene?’ Stella realized that she was speaking no less than the truth. ‘You are a disgraceful individual, but for some reason I’m incredibly fond of you.’
‘I know you are,’ Cameron replied, unmoved, and patted her hand. ‘It’s because I’m lovable. As long as you’re not married to me.’
Stella leaned forward. ‘On the subject of marriage, I’ve got a suggestion to make to you.’
He looked at her doubtfully. ‘I thought you were still married to Matthew.’
Stella giggled. ‘I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about Debora.’
Cameron sighed. ‘Deb was the best wife I’ve ever had.’
‘Why don’t you remarry her, then? You and Roxy don’t seem to even live together.’
‘Roxy’s a good girl. She wouldn’t even ask for maintenance if we split. Fabia’d be livid with her. She’d say this generation has no moral standards. Besides, she lives off Roxy.’
‘Maybe not for much longer.’
He looked at her meaningfully. ‘Shall I go and break the news to Dunc about who shopped my gout to the Post?’
Stella walked back to her hotel and started to pack her bag. Soon reality would be returning and she wasn’t sure she was ready for it.
Brighton had taken on its own wild and wonderful allure, like the parallel universe in a movie. Would she be able to simply step through the membrane of fantasy and rejoin her previous life? Tomorrow was the last day she’d be here. After that she would be returning to Camley.
And then she would find out.
Stella picked Jesse up from the record shop as soon as he finished work at six the next day. His workmates were standing around to wish him luck. She hadn’t seen him so excited since his sixth birthday party. He was so full of anticipation that he forgot his rucksack and one of the beards had to chase down the street after them.
They hurried past Brighton Pavilion, through the Pavilion Gardens, which was filled with Cam fans sitting on rugs picnicking as if they were going to Glyndebourne, past the carved stone arches with the big gold ‘D’ for the Dome above them, and headed for the stage door. A few last-minute returns were being sold and Stella had to laugh that even the ticket sales booths were carved in wood like Eastern fantasies.
The girl sitting in the small reception area backstage treated them as if they were proper artists. Jesse could hardly believe it when she handed them both a badge that said: Access All Areas. He looked down at it as he slotted his badge into its plastic casing as if it were an Olympic Gold.
Jesse stood beside her, enthralled, staring at the photographs of bands and singers who had played at the Dome. The receptionist followed his gaze. ‘Pink Floyd debuted Dark Side of the Moon here in 1972,’ she announced proudly. ‘Bow
ie, Hendrix and Tangerine Dream have all played here. But we think our finest hour,’ she looked at Stella as someone likely to appreciate this triumph, ‘was Abba winning the Eurovision Song Contest here with “Waterloo”!’
The joys of Abba were lost on Jesse. He was gawping as if he’d seen an apparition. ‘Look, Gran, there!’ On the wall behind the girl’s head was an enlarged ticket for 8 November 1969 to see The Incredible String Band.
‘Can I take a photo with my phone?’
‘Course you can. Do you want me to take one of both of you with it?’
Jesse looked embarrassed but Stella had no such compunction. ‘Yes!’ she announced. ‘We do!’
As they went backstage to look for Duncan, Jesse was mesmerized by everything he saw, from the harassed runner Cameron kept busy before every show with some new and exotic demand – tonight it was a Pinball machine – to the guys on the lighting and sound desks, and the roadies testing out the instruments and doing the sound checks. ‘Cam’s planning a little surprise tonight with the confetti canons,’ Laurie informed them. ‘Since it’s the last official show in the tour.’ He grinned at Stella. ‘Not forgetting yours, of course.’
Stella could quite see why people in bands saw each other and their entourages as family, right down to the squabbles. They were beginning to feel like her family too.
They found Cameron and Duncan in the Band Room having a pre-show bite of smoked salmon and scrambled egg on bagels.
‘I’ve been keeping an eye on him.’ Debora appeared from one of the dressing rooms and joined them. ‘He’s surprisingly sober.’
‘Plenty of time yet,’ Cameron goaded her, his mouth full of salmon.
‘And by the way,’ she whispered to Stella, ‘all is not well with Duncan and Amber. He can’t believe she could have shopped Cam’s gout to the newspapers!’
‘So, how is the new rock star?’ Cameron indicated Jesse. Stella breathed a sigh of relief. Cameron had obviously agreed to Jesse’s debut. ‘Come on, then, young ’un, let’s go through a few chords, shall we?’
Jesse smiled. ‘Actually, I downloaded them from the Internet and I’ve been practising all night.’ He grinned at Cameron. ‘Didn’t want to look like a complete dick.’
