by Sara Crest
“She’s here? Where is she?” I asked him. I felt like a piece of shit, I didn’t go after her when I had the chance and I didn’t even succeed at killing Donnelly. Some fucking president I was.
“She went into the bathroom about an hour or two ago, this whole thing is really hitting her hard man.”
I looked at my bathroom door and sighed. I promised to protect her, with all that she’s been through she needs some real security and I didn’t give that to her.
“What the hell happened back there?” Wyatt said as I watched Mason slowly get up from my couch and limp over towards us.
“He went after Donnelly that’s what happened” Mason told him.
“I let it get too personal and I didn’t pull the trigger on that son of a bitch, I won’t make that mistake again… but we got more important matters to take care of right now. Their chief of police had a fucking Scorched Satans tattoo on his arm.”
“Maybe he wasn’t really their chief?” Wyatt said taking a seat on a nearby chair. “I mean jesus christ they offed the guy without even flinching. He might have just been some Scorched Satan bastard that they dressed up like a cop to help them fight, maybe the cops are weaker on men than we thought?”
“That can’t be right, when I fought with Donnelly I ripped his shirt and he had the same tattoo. If he was just somebody that the Scorched Satans gave to the cops to use then he wouldn’t have been able to arrest me two years ago, that fucker was there every step of the way when it came to putting me in jail. No way he just put on a police uniform and slipped through the cracks.”
“So what does it mean then?” Mason asked.
“It means this thing is deeper that we thought, it’s not just the police looking the other way when it comes to letting the Satans try to run a train on us, it means that they have some kind of agreement going on. The tattoos could be a physical sign of their agreement, marking themselves with the club’s logo to show their solidarity with their brotherhood.”
I looked at my bathroom door and thought about Hannah, this was starting to get far too dangerous for her to be a part of. How would I be able to protect her right?
“We gotta talk to Edgar, he knew Donnelly so he’s gonna know something about this” I said as I tried to get out of bed again.
“Whoa whoa there Pres” Wyatt said preventing me from standing up. “Too much shit has gone down today you gotta rest, we all gotta rest. We still got Edgar chained up in the garage, if the fucker hasn’t gone deaf by now he’ll be begging us to make his life a little easier in exchange for some info.”
He was right, I hated to admit it but I felt weak. Who knows how much blood I lost from that bullet grazing my arm, not to mention that hit to the head I took.
I laid back down in bed but couldn’t take my eyes off the bathroom door.
I just wanted her to come out and be with me, for me to make everything alright.
Trust is a hard thing to rebuild.
29
(Hannah)
I laid in bed next to Axel, the light from the moon illuminated his bare yet bandaged body. Mason, Wyatt, and the other Vulture who said his name was Sharpe all decided to spend the night for their own safety.
I heard the sound of a police siren whizzing by, briefly lighting up our room with red and blue lights before it vanished off into the distance.
Axel stirred in his sleep. The swelling had gone completely down, turns out that the hit wasn’t as hard as we had thought, he was only staggering because of the amount of blood he had lost from the gunshot wound.
He turned over and stirred awake, looking straight at me, I could tell in his eyes he thought this was a dream.
“Everything is going to be ok” I told him as I lightly touched his face.
He looked at me and I could see the regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I left you out there alone, I should have come and helped you.”
“It’s fine” I said trying to make him feel better. “I shouldn’t have been out there anyway, you were right.” Although I really shouldn’t have been out there that didn’t change how I felt about this whole situation.
As I looked into his eyes I knew I wanted him, I knew I wanted to be with him, but I didn’t know if I could live this life that he had brought me into.
We kissed each other softly, but it didn’t feel the same as before. The excitement and warmth was no longer there, I had convinced myself that I could be safe with Axel but I wasn’t so sure anymore.
“I’m sorry for what I did today” he said pulling me in closer to his hardened, muscular, naked body. “I promise I’ll always protect you, I should have come after you as soon as I should.”
“What about Donnelly?” I asked looking deep into his blue eyes. “What about the revenge that you’ve been thinking about for years, what if something like tonight happens again?.”
He was silent but I could see it in his eyes, the fire was still in him, not the fire that I had grown to love about him but a fire deep inside that was consuming him. He wouldn’t rest until he had his man.
I knew I had to make a choice, stay with the man who I knew still cared about me and risk my life that I only just got back or go off on my own and try to etch out an existence for myself.
I felt my mind go blank as Axel turned around and slowly drifted back into sleep.
I laid there in silence for a couple of hours, trying my best to think of any reason to stay.
I slowly got out of bed, trying not to wake Axel or any of the other men who were sleeping in his apartment.
I picked up my clothes from off the floor and quietly put them on. Axel had told me two days ago that he had thousands of dollars in cash all over his apartment, some of that money could really help.
“If I were to hide money where would I put it?” I quietly asked myself.
I got down on my knees and carefully reached underneath the mattress, feeling waves of guilt hit me as I found two wads of bills underneath. I pulled them out to find two neat rolls of bills wrapped up in rubber bands. I knew that Axel said that I was free to leave and that he’d give me some money for the road but this still felt like stealing.
I counted the bills out, each roll was $5000, I felt too guilty to take both so I pushed one roll back underneath the mattress.
I walked over to the other side of the bed and watched Axel laying there peacefully in a deep sleep. I doubt he would even remember the conversation him and I had tonight.
I looked down and him and all I could feel was guilt. Not only for the money, but because I felt as if I was giving up.
But I had to do this, right? I needed a real life, something that Axel couldn’t give me no matter how hard he tried.
I leaned down and kissed him softly on the mouth, just enough for him to lightly kiss me back in his sleep but not enough for him to actually wake up.
Deep down, I knew I loved him, and I would always appreciate him for what he did for me and for what he tried to be for me. I had to let him live his life though, and we were too different for each other. That was the cold hard truth.
I put the money in my pocket, I knew that he said I could have some if I wanted to leave, but I would find out how to pay him back one day. Somehow…
I quickly gathered up the few clothes I had and put them in a duffel bag axel had laying on one of his chairs. 19 years of life and all I had to my name were 4 days worth of clothes and $5000 that belonged to the only person to ever show my any love.
I walked to the front door and opened it, staring out into the dimly lit hallways of his apartment building. I turned around to look back at Axel sleeping soundly on his bed, his brothers spread out on the floor in sleeping bags and whatever spare blankets they could find.
My eyes wandered to Mason, in the dark I stared at him, thinking about how he had almost hit me with his bike. It took me a few seconds to realize, but he was staring right back at me.
My heart skipped a beat, I was frozen in the doorway. Should I lie and say that I was jus
t going out for a walk? Should I tell him that this was all for the best and that it would be better for Axel and I to separate?
I opened my mouth but no words came out.
I turned around and bolted out the door, I didn’t know why I was running away, I had no reason to be afraid of any of the men back there. I guess I was afraid of seeing Axel’s face once he realized I was leaving him.
The blood rushed to my head as I heard Mason call out, his shout piercing the silent night.
30
(Hannah)
For the second time today I was back on the streets.
I wasn’t really sure where to go, I had to figure out a way to get out of town. I wish I still had Edgar’s car but even then I barely even knew how to drive it.
As I walked I heard a police siren off in the distance and immediately felt my heart skip a beat. I stopped in my tracks and listened to try and gauge the direction the siren was going in, only to realize that it was clearly getting closer.
I felt panic begin to set in, I could only assume that these were the same police from the shootout earlier possibly looking for any Desert Vultures to arrest. What if they recognized me?
I started running away from the siren, looking for a place where I could hide.
“Come on come on, an alleyway, a fast food joint, anything!” I muttered to myself as I turned around to see the flashing blue and red lights in the distance.
I spotted a small apartment building with some younger looking people hanging out outside. I immediately headed towards them just as the police car came into view.
There was a group of 10 or so people all waiting outside, laughing and talking like real friends. I awkwardly walked near the outer ring of their group as the cop car slowed down near us.
The crowd fell quiet as they noticed the cop car slowing down near them, it didn’t seem like they noticed me yet.
I tried not to look at the car but curiosity got the better of me, I glanced over and I practically started shaking right there.
In the passenger seat of the cop car was Donnelly, he wasn’t wearing his uniform though, just a t-shirt and a lot of bandages wrapped around his right shoulder. Guess Axel still managed to hurt him, it must have been eating Axel alive knowing that he got that close but didn’t finish.
I immediately moved behind some more people and turned my head away so that Donnelly wouldn’t recognize me. I just wanted to be left alone, I knew that if Donnelly saw me he would take me and I wouldn’t let him no matter what happened.
Him and the cop driving analyzed the crowd as everyone was silent until finally one of the girls in the crowd spoke up.
“We’re not doing anything wrong, what the hell do you want from us?”
The cops idled there in their car for a few more seconds before speeding away and leaving us alone.
“Fucking assholes” one of the guys said as he took a long drag of his cigarette.
The group started to head inside, only a few of them noticed that I was even there.
As I watched them all heading back in and laughing I grew envious of them. They all had normal lives with normal cares and normal worries. They had a group of friends they could rely on, I just had a man who I loved who I just left behind in a possible vain attempt to get what they have.
One of the girls smiled at me as she walked inside, she had warm and inviting brown eyes and a genuine smile that made it seem like she made friends easily. It looked like she was going to ask me who I was but someone called her name, she quickly yelled “coming!” before turning to catch up to them.
I stood there alone, watching the flashing red and blue lights disappear down the street.
Edgar stole my happiness from me with what he did.
And now I was walking away from the only man who tried to give me the strength to get it back.
31
(Hannah)
I needed a way out of town, I couldn’t risk being caught by the police. There was only one person I knew here with no ties to the Desert Vultures, Arnie, the man who had invited me into the restaurant.
I had hoped that since they were playing cards they would be up this late, back when I was trapped at Edgar’s he would invite his friend’s over and they’d play cards until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes he would make me dress up for them and serve them drinks like I was their waitress, just the thought of it made me furious.
I checked over my shoulder again and again to make sure Axel or any of the Vultures weren’t following me. I wasn’t afraid they would hurt me, I just didn’t have the emotional strength to tell Axel goodbye to his face.
I finally saw the restaurant down the street and immediately felt some relief, I was hoping that Arnie could maybe get me a cab to the closest city or even give me a ride for a couple hundred bucks. The thought of spending what little money I had was already stressing me out.
It had taken me hours to find the place. After hiding from the cops by that apartment building I had to retrace my steps, I had gotten lost several times before finally finding my way. This whole town just looked different at night, even with the streetlights on it was just unsettling.
I saw a man leaning beside the door and I actually smiled a little bit when I saw it was Arnie. He seemed friendly enough when I met him even though he sounded disappointed when his friend made a joke about me dating a Desert Vulture. I was hoping he still had some kindness left in him to help me out even if I had to pay him.
I walked up to him but before I could even say anything he blurted out “oh wow look who it is, did you come back to embarass me in front of my friends some more?”
I was taken back for a moment and then the stench hit me, he was drunk, not just a little drunk too, he was so drunk it looked like he was just half a shot away from spending the night on the pavement.
He was smoking a cigarette, or at least he was trying to, whenever he took it from his mouth to exhale he struggled to get it back in between his lips, poking it around his face before finally finding his mouth.
“I… I didn’t mean to embarrass you” I said trying to defuse the tension. “I was just wondering if you could get me a ride out of town.”
“Just because I let you into the restaurant while there was a shootout going on outside doesn’t mean I’m your damn chauffeur” he spat out. When I met him early he seemed kind and gentle, now he was bitter and angry. I should have turned around and walked away but this was my only option if I wanted to leave.
“It won’t be out of kindness” I said reaching into my duffel bag and pulling out $200. “I’ll pay you for it, I promise, well once you sober up of course. I’ll even cover the cost of gas.”
His eyes lit up when he saw the money in my fingers.
He reached out with his hand and I pulled the money away, problem was he wasn’t reaching for the money in my hand, he was reaching for my bag.
I tried to hold onto the bag but he was too strong for me. He ripped the shoulder strap and tore the whole bag from my hands. He opened it up and tossed my clothes out onto the ground as he dug through the bag. After a few seconds of searching he finally found the wad of cash I had, greedily taking it out and counting it in his palms. I could see his eyes light up with each hundred dollar bill that passed through his cigarette stained fingers, I couldn’t just let him take it like this.
I tried to get it back from him but he pushed me away hard, causing me to stumble but catch myself on a parked car nearby.
“Don’t you try that shit with me” he said smirking. “YOU came to me for help, if you want me to take you somewhere then it’s gonna cost you. My time is valuable.”
Before I could even respond he walked back into the resturaunt. I quickly followed him, fruitlessly reaching for the money gripped firmly in his hands.
The chef and the bartender were still playing cards, although they looked like they were just about ready to pack it in. The whole place was dark with only the light of a nearby lamp and a single bulb on overhead to cut
through the night. The place smelled like old food, guess the chef didn’t bother to clean up the kitchen after they were done working, or maybe I just didn’t notice that greasy stench the first time I was here.
“I thought I told you to leave” the bartender said to Arnie. “You’re too drunk to play and you’re all out of fucking money, nobody is gonna bet you when you never pay us back.”
“And what’s the fucking broad doing back here?” the chef said angrily, I could tell just from his tone that he was drunk too. “Did you really invite her back after the bullshit she said in here?”
Arnie flashed them the money and continued to walk over.
“Give me back my money!” I cried out in desperation as I tried one last time to grab it.
Arnie’s face turned to anger as he raised his palm and backhanded me hard across my cheek, causing me to stumble and fall down onto the cigarette burned rug of the restaurant.
“Whoa Arnie, when did you grow some fucking balls” the bartender said smiling.
“That’s not his money” I called out. “That’s mine, he stole it from me!”
“Looks like it’s his fucking money now sweetheart” the chef said snickering.
I felt so humiliated, I should have known Arnie was like the other men here, why else would he hang out with them. Maybe when he was sober he was a tolerable man but alcohol brought out the real him.
“Whoa Arnie this is a lot of dough” the bartender said counting up my money. “Doesn’t that girl have Vulture ties? What if someone comes looking for this, I don’t want to be carrying around stolen gang money once she goes to squeal.”
“Who says she’s gonna squeal?” the chef said as he stood up and grabbed the power cord from a nearby coffee machine.
He walked over to me and grabbed my wrist, I fought back but he was too strong for me. He dragged me over to a bar stool that was bolted into the ground and tied my arms with the power cord so I couldn’t escape.