Nine
During the next few weeks Bella settled into what she considered a comfortable routine. She’d never thought being married would be such a wonderful experience and could only thank Jason for making the transition easy for her.
They shared a bed and made passionate love each night. Then in the morning they would get up early and while he sat at the table drinking coffee she would enjoy a cup of tea while he told her about what horses he would be training that day.
While he was away she usually kept busy by reading her grandfather’s journals, which had been upstairs in her bedroom and so were spared by the fire. Because she’d been heavily involved with a lot of charity work while living in Savannah, she’d already volunteered a lot of her time at the children’s hospital and the Westmoreland Foundation.
Hercules was now in Jason’s stalls and Jason was working with the insurance company on the repairs of her ranch. He had arranged for all the men who’d worked with her before the fire to be hired on with his horse training business.
Although she appreciated him stepping in and taking charge of her affairs the way he’d done, she hadn’t been able to put her uncle Kenneth’s warning out of her mind. She knew it was ludicrous to worry about Jason’s motivation because he had been honest with her from the beginning and she knew why he’d made the proposal for their marriage. She was well aware that he didn’t love her and that he was only married to her for the land and Hercules. But now that he had both was it just a matter of time for him before he tried to get rid of her?
She would be the first to admit he never acted as if he was getting tired of her and still treated her as if he enjoyed having her around. In the afternoons when he returned home for work, the first thing he did after placing his Stetson on the hat rack was to seek her out. Usually he didn’t have far to look because she would be right there, close by. Anticipating his return home always put her near the door when he entered the house.
Bella couldn’t help noticing that over the last couple of days she had begun getting a little antsy where Jason was concerned because she was uncertain as to her future with him. And to make matters even worse she was late, which was a good sign she might be pregnant. She hadn’t told him of her suspicions because she wasn’t sure how he would take the news.
If she were pregnant, the baby would be born within the first year of their marriage. Would he still want a divorce even if she was the mother of his child or would he want to keep her around for that same reason; because he felt obligated to do so? But an even more important question was, did he even want to become a father? He had questioned her feelings on motherhood but she’d never questioned his. She could tell from his interactions with Susan and Denver that he liked kids, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted any of his own.
Bella knew she should tell him about the possibility she could be pregnant and discuss her concerns with him now, but each time she was presented with the opportunity to do so, she would get cold feet.
She walked into an empty room he’d converted into an office and sat down at the desk to glance out the window. She would finally admit that another reason she was antsy was that she knew without a shadow of doubt that she had fallen in love with Jason and could certainly understand how such a thing had happened. She could understand it, but would he? He’d never asked for her love, just her land and horse.
She heard the sound of a vehicle door closing and stood from the desk, went to the window and looked down. It was Jason. He glanced up and saw her and a smile touched the corners of his mouth. Instantly she felt the buds of her nipples harden against her blouse. A flush of desire rushed through her and she knew at that moment her panties had gotten wet. The man could turn her on with a single look. He was home earlier than usual. Three hours earlier.
Now that he was here a lot of ideas flowed in her mind on how they could use those extra hours. What she wanted to do first was to take him into her mouth, something she discovered she enjoyed doing. And then he could return the favor by putting that tongue of his to work between her legs. She shuddered at the thought and figured her hormones were on the attack; otherwise, she wouldn’t be thinking such scandalous things. They were definitely not things a Miss Prim and Proper lady would think.
He broke eye contact with her to walk up the steps to come into the house and she rushed out of the office to stand at the top of the stairs. She glanced down the moment he opened the door. Jason’s dark gaze latched on her and immediately her breath was snatched from her lungs. As she watched, he locked the door behind him and slowly began removing the clothes from his body, first tossing his hat on the rack and then unbuttoning his shirt.
She felt hot as she watched him and he didn’t stop. He had completely removed his shirt and she couldn’t help admiring the broad shoulders and sinewy muscular thighs in jeans. The masculine sight had blood rushing fast and furious through her veins.
“I’m coming up,” he said in a deep, husky voice.
She slowly began backing up when he started moving up the stairs with a look in his eyes that was as predatory as anything she’d ever seen. And there was a deep, intense hunger in his gaze that had her heart hammering like crazy in her chest.
When he cleared the top stair and stepped onto the landing, she breathed in deeply, taking in his scent, while thinking that no man had a right to smell so good, look so utterly male and be so damn hot in a way that would overwhelm any woman’s senses.
At least no man but Jason Westmoreland.
“Take off your clothes, Bella,” he said in a deep, throaty voice.
She then asked what some would probably think was a dumb question. “Why?”
He moved slowly toward her and it was as if her feet were glued to the spot and she couldn’t move. And when he came to a stop in front of her, she tilted back her head to look up at him, saw the hunger in his dark brown gaze. The intensity of that look sent a shudder through her.
He reached out and cupped her face in the palms of his hands and lowered his head slightly to whisper, “I came home early because I need to make love to you. And I need to do it now.”
And then he captured her mouth with his, kissing her with the same intensity and hunger she’d seen in his eyes. She returned his kiss, not understanding why he needed to make love to her and why now. But she knew she would give him whatever he wanted and whatever way he wanted it.
He was ravishing her mouth, making her moan deep in her throat. His kiss seemed to be making a statement and staking a claim all at the same time. She couldn’t do anything but take whatever he was giving, and she did so gladly and without shame. He had no idea she loved him. How much sharing these past few weeks had meant to her.
And then he jerked his mouth away and quickly removed his boots. Afterward, he carried her into the office and stood her by the desk as he began taking off her clothes with a frenzy that had her head spinning. One part of her wanted to tell him to slow down and to assure him she wasn’t going anywhere. But another part was just as eager and excited as he was to get naked, and kept insisting that he hurry up.
Within minutes, more like seconds, spooned between his body and the desk, she was totally naked. The cool air from the air conditioner that swept across her heated skin made her want to cover herself with her hands, but he wouldn’t let her. He gently grabbed her wrists in his and held them up over her head, which made her breasts tilt up in perfect alignment to his lips when he leaned down.
On a breathless sigh he eased a nipple into his mouth, sucking it in between his lips and then licking the throbbing tip. She arched her back, felt him gently ease her onto the desk and realized he was practically on the desk with her. The metal surface felt cool to her back, but the warmth of his body felt hot to her front.
He lowered his hand to her sex and the stroke of his fingers on the folds of her labia made her groan out sounds she’d never made before. She’d thought from the first that he had skillful fingers and they were thrumming through her, stir
ring all kinds of sensations within her. Their lovemaking would often range from gentle to hard and she knew today would be one of those hard times. For whatever reason, he was driven to take her now, without any gentleness of any kind. He was stroking a need within her that wanted it just as fast and hard as he could deliver.
He took a step back and quickly removed his jeans and boxers. When she saw him—in his engorged splendor—a sound of dire need erupted from deep within her throat. He was bringing her to this, this intense state of want and need that was fueled by passion and desire.
“I want to know your taste, baby.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say that as many times as he’d made a meal out of her that he should know it pretty well by now. Instead when he crouched down in front of her body, which was all but spread out on the desk, and proceeded to wrap her legs over his shoulders, she automatically arched her back.
And when she felt his hot mouth close in on her sex, slide his tongue through her womanly folds, she lifted her hips off the table with the intimate contact. And when he began suckling hard, using his tongue to both torture and pleasure, she let out an intense moan as an orgasm tore through her body; sensations started at the soles of her feet and traveled like wildfire all the way to the crown of her head. And then she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Shudders continued to rip through her, made her muscles both ache and rejuvenate. And she couldn’t help but lie there while Jason continued to get the taste he wanted.
When her shudders finally subsided, he gave her body one complete and thorough lick before lifting his head and looking up at her with a satisfied smile on his face, and the way he began licking his lips made her feel hot all over again.
He reached out and spread her legs wide and began stroking her again and she began moaning at the contact. “My fingers are all wet, which means you’re ready,” he said. “Now for me to get ready.”
And she knew without looking that he was tearing into a condom packet and soon would be sliding the latex over his erection. After that first time in the hotel he’d never made love to her unprotected again, which gave her even more reason to think he wasn’t ready for children. At least not with her, anyway.
From the feel of his erection pressing against her thigh she would definitely agree that at least he was ready for this, probably more ready than any man had a right to be, but she had no complaints.
She came to full attention when she felt his swollen, engorged member easing between her legs, and when he centered it to begin sliding between the folds of her labia and then suddenly thrust forward without any preamble, she began shuddering all over again.
“Look at me, baby. I want to be looking in your eyes when you come. I need to see it happen, Bella.”
She looked up and met his gaze. He was buried deep inside of her and then holding tight to her gaze, he began moving, holding tight to the hips whose legs were wrapped firmly around him. They began moving together seemingly in perfect rhythm, faultless harmony and seamless precision. With each deep and thorough stroke, she felt all of him…every glorious inch.
“You tasted good and now you feel good,” he said in a guttural voice while holding steadfast to her gaze. “Do you have any idea how wonderful you are making me feel?”
She had an idea. If it was anything close to how he was making her feel then the feelings were definitely mutual. And to show him just how mutual, her inner muscles began clamping down on him, milking him. She could tell from the look in his eyes the exact moment he realized what she was doing and the effect it was having on him. The more she milked him the bigger he seemed to get inside of her, as if he intended for her to have it all.
Today she felt greedy and was glad he intended to supply her needs. She dug her nails into his shoulders, at the moment not caring if she was branding him for life. And then he picked up the tempo and pleasure, the likes of nothing she’d experienced before dimming her vision. But through it all, she kept her gaze locked on his and saw how every sound, every move she made, got to him and triggered him to keep it coming.
And then when she felt her body break into fragments, she screamed out his name and he began pumping into her as if his very life depended on it. The orgasm that ripped through her snatched the breath from her lungs as his intense, relentless strokes almost drove her over the edge. And when she heard the hoarse cry from his own lips, saw the flash of something dark and turbulent in the depths of his eyes, she lost it and screamed again at the top of her lungs as another orgasm shook the core of everything inside her body.
And he followed her, pushed over the edge, while he continued to thrust even deeper. He buried his fingers into her hair and leaned down and captured her mouth to kiss the trembles right off her lips. At that moment she wished she could say all the words that had formed in her heart, words of love she wanted him to know. But she couldn’t. This was all there was between them. She had accepted that long ago. And for the moment she was satisfied and content.
And when the day came that he wanted her gone, memories like these would sustain her, get her through each day without him.
And she prayed to God the memories would be enough.
* * *
“So when can we plan your wedding reception?” Megan asked when the Westmorelands had assembled around the dinner table at Dillon’s place a few weeks later.
When Bella didn’t say anything but looked over at Jason, he shrugged and said, “Throw some dates out to see if they will work for us.”
Megan began rambling off dates, saying the first weekend in August would be perfect since all the Westmorelands away at college would be home and Micah, who was presently in Beijing, had sent word he would be back in the States during that time, as well. Gemma, who was expecting, had gotten the doctor’s okay to travel from Australia then.
“And,” Megan continued, “I spoke with Casey yesterday and she’s checked with the other Westmorelands and that will give them plenty of time to make plans to be here, as well. I’m so excited.”
Jason glanced over at Bella again thinking he was glad someone was. There was something going on with his wife that he just couldn’t put a finger on and whatever it was had put him at a disadvantage. He knew she was upset with the outcome of the Bostwick twins. With all the evidence mounted against the twins, their attorney had convinced their parents to enter a guilty plea in hopes they would get a lesser sentence.
However, given prior mischievous pranks that had gotten the pair into trouble with the law before, the judge was not all that lenient and gave them two years. Bella had insisted on going to the sentencing hearing and he’d warned her against it but she’d been adamant. Things hadn’t gone well when Kenneth, who still refused to accept blame for his part in any of it, made a scene, accusing Bella as the one responsible for what had happened to his grandsons. Since that day Jason had noted a change in her and she’d begun withdrawing from him. He’d tried getting her to talk, but she refused to do so.
“So what do the two of you think?” Megan asked, drawing his attention again.
He glanced at Bella. “What do you think, sweetheart?”
She placed a smile on her lips that he knew was forced. “That time is fine with me, but I doubt Mom and Dad will come either way.”
“Then they will miss a good party,” Jason replied. He then turned to Megan. “The first weekend in August is fine.”
Later, on the ride back to their place, Jason finally found out what was troubling Bella. “I rode over to my ranch today, Jason. Why didn’t you tell me work hadn’t begun on the house yet?”
“There was no reason to tell you. You knew I was taking care of things, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But I assumed work had gotten started already.”
“I saw no reason to begin work on the place yet, given we’re having a lot of rainy days around here now. It’s not a good time to start any type of construction. Besides, it’s not like you’re going to move into the house or anything.”
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“You don’t know that.”
He had pulled into the yard and brought the truck to a stop and turned the ignition off. He glanced over at her. “I don’t? I thought I did.”
He tilted his hat back from his eyes and stared over at her. “Why would you need to move back into the house?”
Instead of holding his gaze she glanced out the window and looked ahead at his house, which he now considered as their house. “Our marriage is only supposed to last a year and I’m going to need somewhere to live when it ends.”
Her words were like a kick in the gut. She was already planning for the time when she would be leaving him? Why? He thought things were going great between them. “What’s going on, Bella?”
“Nothing is going on. I just need to be realistic and remember that although we enjoy being bed partners, the reason we married stemmed from your proposal, which I accepted knowing full well the terms. And they are terms we must not forget.”
Jason simply looked at her as he swore under his breath. She thought the only thing between them was the fact they were bed partners? “Thanks for reminding me, Bella.” He then got out of the truck.
* * *
That was the first night they slept in the same bed but didn’t make love and Bella lay there hurting inside and wasn’t sure what she could do about it. She was trying to protect her heart, especially after the results of the pregnancy test she’d taken a few days ago.
Jason was an honorable man. Just the kind of man who’d keep her around just because she was the mother of his child. She wasn’t particularly thinking of herself per se but of her child. She had grown up in a loveless household and simply refused to subject her child to one. Jason would never understand how that could be because he’d grown up with parents who’d loved each other and had set a good example for their children to follow. That was evident in the way his cousins and brother treated the wives they loved. It was easy to see their relationships were loving ones, the kinds that last until death. She didn’t expect that kind of long-term commitment from Jason. That was not in the plan and had not been in his proposal.
Brenda Jackson The Westmoreland Series Books 16-20 Page 68
