However, John would never be any of those things. Not that he wouldn’t protect his family and love them fiercely, he just showed it differently. He wasn’t a flirt who charmed everyone. Nor was he overly affectionate in public.
Unlike Dax, who would pull Stacy down into his lap and kiss her senseless at any given time, John saved the cherishing for behind closed doors.
And that was the thought that was making it hard to breathe.
Would they expect him to change? Would Augusta want him to be more like Michael, Walker, or Dax?
That was a problem for another day. John wasn’t a self-centered man, and this time was not about him. This time was about the joy Augusta had just struggled to bring into this world.
And family.
It was most certainly about family.
Andy’s voice was shaky with emotion, “Six pounds, one ounce of pure perfection.” His loving gaze returned to the fussing bundle in his arms. “Franscephina Melanie Rivera-Wellington, meet your family. Family, this is Cephina.”
The feminine squeals that came from behind them startled everyone, including the baby. With the focus on the baby, the ladies entrance had gone unnoticed.
Andy turned toward the sound, and John saw the tears swimming in their eyes. Tori and Erika mouthed “Melanie” and clung to each other. John had heard stories about her and knew that FORM Wear was named in her honor, but she had died before he knew the Reids. Even so, John was still touched by the gesture; he understood what it meant.
“Franscephina? That’s unusual, where did it come from?”
John wasn’t sure who asked, but he wanted to know himself.
“Well, Francis and Frank, for the first part, obviously. The second I came up with from something my grandmother used to say. I wanted it to sound angelic, because this little one is my very own angel.”
Francis appeared from behind them and walked into Frank’s arms, both tearful. They would probably tell differing stories later about the “Fran” part of the name.
Turning toward the older couple, Andy extended his precious bundle. “Would you like to hold your granddaughter and namesake?”
With shaky arms, they accepted and the cooing began in earnest. So did the whooping and the hollering. John felt out of place, while everyone’s focus was on the new baby and the new fathers, John’s attention was in the other room. Where Augusta was.
“No worries, she’s fine. Just getting cleaned up and checked out. The doctor kicked us out for that part.” Marco patted his shoulder and let his touch linger, offering comfort. “She did good, man, she did good. A real trooper. Biologically, she may not be Cephina’s mother, but she is precious beyond measure. To all of us, and if you break her heart, well, I know a guy.”
Did Marco just threaten me? John met his dark eyes and realized the truth of it. He did, and so casually. He was stone cold serious. It’s always the quiet ones. Then, as if by magic, Marco smiled and it lit up his face. He was glowing and happy, like he hadn’t just promised to murder a man. The hand on his shoulder slapped against him again. “Let’s go meet your God-daughter, shall we?
God-daughter? This family really was unique, and crazy as sin if they want me in the mix.
John joined the cooing crowd all happily making fools of themselves with nonsensical sounds and faces. He was not above it, either. Looking at little Cephina reminded him of when his parents brought Stacy home from the hospital.
“I remember when you were this tiny and quiet,” John addressed Stacy, but it was Dax who responded.
“Bet you never thought she’d change so drastically, did you?” With those words, he wrapped his body around Stacy’s. Claiming.
“Only the latter, she’s still pint-sized.”
“Hey.” Stacy pouted, but everyone else just laughed. “Well, at least I don’t have bacon on my ass.”
“Yeah, but you love bacon, and you love my ass.”
“All right, all right,” Andy spoke up and gently lifted his daughter back into his arms. “Get a room already, you two, there is a baby present.”
“Ha,” Walker barked. “I seem to recall you not giving a fuck about language and behavior in front of my precious little angel.”
“Well—”
“What about—”
“Blow m—”
“Excuse me.”
Everyone spoke at once and the volume had risen to an almost deafening level. A shrill whistle pierced through all the arguing and insults. All eyes turned to the matriarch smoothing down her suit as if she didn’t just piss off every dog within a two-mile radius.
“If you will all kindly zip it, the good doctor there has something to say.”
Every head whipped around to the portly man in white who was clearing his throat. “Um, yes. Miss Thorne is doing just fine, as is the baby, if you hadn’t noticed. She’s resting now, and her sister is with her. She expended quite a bit of energy today so don’t worry if she sleeps through the night. It’s perfectly normal. But, if things stay the same, I see no reason I can’t discharge them both tomorrow evening. However, someone is here to take the baby back to the nursery.”
No one wanted to see her go, but they all cooed their goodbyes anyway. Andy approached John as the others left. “You’re more than welcome to stay the night here, we have the room, and I know it would mean a lot to Augusta.”
John agreed it would be nice, and he was tempted, but he had something else in mind. “As much as I want to stay, I feel this time is for the four of y’all to bond and adjust. I think I’d like to go to her place and make it nice for her homecoming.” John shared his plans, most of them anyway. He wanted Andy’s approval.
“I think that’s an excellent idea. January thought as much and is ready to head back, too. She can give you a lift? Plus, she can keep an eye on that head of yours since I am assuming you haven’t seen a doctor yet? Better yet, stop off down stairs and just let them have a look. I know it will help Augusta’s peace of mind.”
“Sure.”
John didn’t want to do anything that could potentially hurt Augusta, and if he did have a concussion and didn’t get at least looked at, that was just creating unnecessary risk of problems. He wanted to make sure he was in perfect shape when she was finally ready to come home.
It felt weird that she didn’t feel weird about this whole thing. She had a baby, but it wasn’t hers. And as attached to Cephina as Gus was, and as much as she loved her, it wasn’t motherly. “Does that make me a bad person?” she asked the counselor who came to the hospital the next day to visit with them.
It was her idea to bring in a counselor for this whole situation. The four of them—Gus, Andy, Marco, and Erika— had been meeting with her weekly to just discuss things—the way they were, the way they wanted them to be, and the way they might go. Sometimes Walker joined them, sometimes Frank and Francis. But this time, it was just them.
Andy and Marco were amazing, beyond gracious throughout the whole process, but it seemed there was always a lingering question in their minds of how Gus would react once the child was born. There was the possibility of her over-attachment that seemed to be a small wedge.
She had reassured them as best she could, but she admitted that until she had the baby, she didn’t know exactly how she would feel. It was the same with Erika. After all, she shared half of Cephina’s DNA. The difference was Erika’s relationship with the fathers. It boiled down to trust. Gus understood and didn’t take offense. Erika and Andy had history; he and Gus didn’t.
“I can see your relief, Andy, but I also don’t want you to think I am a cold person.”
“Augusta…” It was one of the rare times when Andy seemed stumped and at a loss for words, which never happened.
“It’s okay, I don’t take it personally. To be honest, I was a little worried myself. I didn’t know how I would react either, and I would never want to hurt any of you.”
The relief from the three people sitting on the couch was audible. Gus was glad to be pr
opped up in this hospital bed and not sitting directly across from them.
Although she was a major hugger, and this seemed like a perfectly huggable moment, for once, she enjoyed the distance. They were all feeling so many strong emotions, ones she couldn’t even begin to comprehend, and she was sitting there crashing under a hormonal wave.
She did feel super powerful. She had just grown a human being and pushed it into the world, but sadly, or luckily, depending on perspective, she didn’t feel any more motherly toward Cephina than she did any other baby.
The motherly genes she possessed were polluted, but she knew when it was her own, she would be able to do way better than her mother had. It was a strange contradiction. She wanted to coo and ahh over all babies, including Cephina, and even wanted to have children of her own and soon, but she had always thought of Butterbean as someone else’s, and she still did.
Gus was so busy reassuring everyone else that she didn’t think about reassuring herself. She was so concerned with their feelings, she not only forgot about hers, she had put John’s on the back burner, too.
“What if John thinks I’m cold. What if I am?” Gus thought as she rubbed her belly. Even though she was no longer pregnant, it was habit. Maybe just a little bit was emptiness, too.
Erika grabbed her hands and sat on the bed next to her. “You listen to me, Gus, you are not cold. Not even close. Hell, you are the furthest thing from cold there is. Would a cold person still harbor guilt over just looking at a man with lust in her heart? And not even lust for his body or him but for an inner light that she saw? Would a cold person offer her body to people whom she didn’t know for a long time in the grand scheme of things, even at the cost of a relationship she hoped for?”
Andy cut in as he approached her bed, too.
“And would a cold person be sitting here the day after giving birth worried about everyone else’s happiness above her own?” Marco joined Andy at her bedside. Reaching over, Gus brought one of Andy and Marco’s hands to her and Erika’s. Everyone added their second without prompting, like a go-team cheer was about to take place.
“You guys are the best family Cephina could have, along with Frank, Francis, Tori, Walker, etcetera, etcetera.”
“Don’t forget John and you. You two have a very important role as Godparents.”
Gus found comfort in this little circle, a kinship that was different than she shared with everyone else. She figured they had a unique bond, one that would last forever. No matter where they went or what else they did, these four people had made a child together. They would forever be connected.
She drank in their faces, their joy. This was the third time in her life she’d witnessed this rare glimpse into another’s uncloaked soul. Not only did she get to see it, in a way, she got to touch it. But this time counted as so much more as there were four souls singing in harmony.
“Well,” the therapist stood, “I think we are done for the day. I’ll leave our month’s schedule flexible, so should anything come up, we can discuss. I must say, I am impressed with how well you all seem to have a realistic and joint approach to a very difficult situation.” When she opened the door to leave, she turned and added, “And for the record, Miss Thorne, your friends are right. I have seen many things in you over the last months. I have felt even more, and cold or detached was never one of them.”
And that was just the start of her day, so it seemed. The breast-feeding consultant alone took two hours, instructing them in proper pumping and storage techniques, heating instructions, and even a pseudo class on ways for Marco and Andy to feed Cephina while giving her the bonding experience. I could’ve gone a lifetime without that bit of imagery.
Of course, legal stuff…lots and lots of legal stuff. The signing of a million papers had started first thing in the morning. For a moment, she felt a touch of hurt by their need to legalize everything ASAP. Do they not trust me at all?
But after the millionth document, she remembered Andy was just very thorough about things. Anal is a better word for it. That turned out to be the most efficient part of her day, go figure.
Stacy had put her mind at ease about all the papers. “Stop frowning, Pixie Pants, this is just some basic stuff. The real paperwork will come later, no need to rush, y’all are family, after all.” Andy nodded in agreement but shared a look with Stacy that Gus couldn’t quite pin down.
“And, you know where I live,” Gus had quipped, but she also blindly signed every document they had put before her.
Now it was time to go home. She was just waiting on her transport. Baby Cephina was sleeping in her bassinette, with Andy and Marco chomping at the bit to pick her up. Hospital policy said she and the baby had to be wheeled out, so they all just sat around waiting.
John had texted and called. Not to mention, Andy and Marco had done everything but tell her exactly what he was doing. All she knew at this point was it involved her house and a surprise. The rest was a mystery.
“Knock, knock,” a familiar voice called as the door opened. “I just came to see how the love of my life is doing and to get my hands on the little one. The rumors of her beauty have made it all the way to anesthesiology. Naturally, since I am so beloved, I was tapped to come see if the rumors are true.”
“Cheryl, come in, come in,” Gus shyly invited her. How are you supposed to act after you profess your love to a total stranger who has seen you naked and who you called by the wrong name. Luckily, Andy stepped in.
Speaking all old-world, he bowed and announced, “Yes. Come ye, come ye. All people from far and wide are invited to bear witness to the beauty, nay, the radiance. A blessing upon the land know by the name of Franscephina. Come closer, so you may take word of this miracle back to your native land of Demerol and Vicodin.”
Apparently a good sport, Cheryl curtsied. “I thank you, good sirs, and I shall approach with honor and respect to bask in her beauty, nay, radiance.” That tattooed lady rose with the elegance of a queen and peeked into the bassinette. “Congratulations, she is beautiful. And by the way, I don’t pass out Demerol and Vicodin so much, that’s more of pain management’s land, and they are a territorial people. I come from the land of shit that kills celebrities who abuse it and makes pregnant women fall in love.”
Cheryl approached the bed. “You did good, little mama. How are you feeling today? Headache, pain where the catheter was? Do you mind?” Cheryl asked and indicated she wanted to look at the site.
“No, go ahead. And about yesterday…”
“Don’t sweat it. Everything looks good. You’ll get a sheet from me in your discharge papers with what to watch for and numbers to call. I can’t stress enough how important it is to be picky. Any little sign, take it seriously. The worst thing that can happen is we tell you you’re fine, send you home with some overpriced ibuprofen, and bill the man over there for the trouble. He looks like his wallet is just fine, so no hesitations, you feel me?”
Gus agreed, and after admiring Cephina one last time, Cheryl left. Andy seemed nervous, but who wouldn’t be taking a baby home from the hospital. There were so many things to worry about, and that’s just the drive over.
Another knock sounded at the door, but this time, the person didn’t enter, Instead, Andy rushed out the door like his pants were on fire. Right before the door closed, Gus caught a glimpse of Jesse. What’s a clerk doing here? The paper-work that could be done was already completed.
When Andy slipped back through the door, Jesse awkwardly waved. She felt bad about the way things had played out. Jesse was a nice guy, but…apparently, I’m not into nice guys. I’m into rough around the edges men. Complete with issues and fear of commitment. Not wanting to be rude, she waved back. If the look beaming from his face was any indication, that was the wrong move. I should’ve gone with rude.
Andy grabbed Marco with one hand and sheepishly walked toward Gus with a large manila envelope in the other.
Andy, sheepish? This must be a humdinger.
“Augusta Rain T
horne, we have a confession to make. With Stacy’s help, we slipped some other paperwork into the things you were signing this morning.”
What? Gus’ heart fell to her feet and shattered into a million pieces. They had tricked her, for what purpose, she didn’t know, but they had tricked her. And not just the two men she felt so close to earlier in therapy. She had glimpsed their souls and believed them to be the best of people. But even so, that wasn’t as devastating as Stacy. Her best friend. The one person she had always been able to be her weird dorky self around. Someone who knew all her secrets, her shame, and her fears.
She was heartbroken.
Devastated.
If she had been wrong about them…
Her mind was swimming in the bitter sea of deception, and she was going under, gulping great big lung fulls. What else had she misjudged?
Who else?
She felt light-headed. This couldn’t be happening. There had to be an explanation, there had to be. These are good people, damn it.
Her voice shaky, she had to restart a few times before she could form a sentence, “Andy, please explain what is going on because my mind is conjuring up some pretty horrific answers on its own.”
“Oh, my god, Gus. No.” Andy leaned down and thumbed her tears. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“I told you not to lead with that part, you fool,” Marco scolded. He sat beside her and wrapped her in his embrace. “Shush, it’s not bad, I swear to you. I would kick his sexy ass if his intentions were bad. I may kick his ass anyway, just because.”
Gus breathed a sigh of minimal relief. At least it wasn’t horrible, but she was emotional and hormonal, so she was already walking a tightrope.
“Let me start over. Augusta, we love you and could never repay you for the gift you’ve given us. I know you refused our money, and I would never insult you by paying you.”
Inevitably Yours (Imagine Ink Book 4) Page 18
