“Anyway, look,” Colton said, “I’m sorry about everything that happened.”
“What in particular?” I asked. “Making fun of us and our school just now? Trying to cheat on the marshmallow project? Or accusing me of stealing and getting me kicked out of school?”
“That’s what happened?” Jenna gasped. “This kid got you kicked out? Also, what’s a marshmallow project?”
“I’ll tell you later. But yeah, that’s what happened.”
Jenna inhaled sharply. “My dad told me a little about it, but not the whole story. You would never steal anything!” She turned to Colton and repeated herself. “Elfie would never steal anything.”
“I know,” Colton said. “She grabbed my phone because I was about to use it for a project and we weren’t supposed to.”
“Oh yeah, that sounds like something Elfie would do.” Jenna looked at me and nodded.
“But he let the headmaster believe I stole it, and then they kicked me out.”
“Yeah, that’s the part I’m most sorry about. I never actually thought they’d suspend you.”
“Why, though?” By then I felt almost more confused than angry. “Why did you let it happen?”
“I guess I couldn’t see a way out. If I told them the truth, then they’d know what I was trying to do. I didn’t want to get in trouble and stress my family out more than they already are. There’s just been a lot going on with us.”
“I know how that goes,” I pointed out. “There’s been a lot going on with us too.”
Colton nodded. “Yeah, I can see that. Anyway, I’ll talk to them. I’m going to tell them you and Sierra were telling the truth.”
Was he serious? He was really going to tell the honor review board the truth? Did that mean they would say I could go back to Hampshire? Before I could think of how to respond, the elevator doors opened again, and Colton’s grandma stepped out.
“There you are,” she said, then looked at Jenna and me. “Is everything all right down here?”
“Yes,” I said. “We’re okay.” To my surprise, it felt like the truth.
“Good, good.” Colton’s grandma nodded and looked at him. “You need to come back up and see your mother.”
Colton looked pale.
“Come on,” his grandma said. “She’s actually taking it pretty well. This is not the way I would have suggested telling her this news, but she and Mrs. Oster have been talking, and so far, so good.” I felt my cheeks get warm as I imagined the conversation happening upstairs.
Colton’s grandma looked at me as she pressed the elevator button. “Your mother says she’s leaving soon; I’ll let her know you’re down here.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Colton raised his hand slightly from where it hung by his waist. “See you later,” he said.
“See you later,” I repeated, but I wondered if I really would.
* * *
• • •
“Wow. You really gave it to that kid,” Jenna said after the elevator doors closed. “I’m impressed.” She pointed to her right, down the hallway. “The cafeteria’s that way. Want to get some ice cream now? I think Linda wants some too.” She held the egg baby carrier up, as though to show me Linda looking hungry.
I suddenly felt weak. “I feel terrible about the way I ran out of there; Rhoda must be so upset.”
“I wouldn’t worry; if anyone understands, it’s Rhoda.” Jenna pulled her phone out of her back pocket. “Here, I’ll text your mom and tell her where we are; do you want to say anything else?”
“Can you just ask her to tell Rhoda I’m sorry and I feel awful?”
Jenna tapped at her phone screen for a minute.
“Done. Now can we please get some ice cream? My treat.”
“Okay,” I said. I wasn’t used to Jenna being so nice to me; I felt like I should acknowledge it somehow. “And thank you. This is, um, very nice of you.”
“I know, I know,” she said, patting me on the back as we walked toward the cafeteria. “This is you being effusive.”
* * *
• • •
Jenna and I were almost finished with our ice cream when Mom joined us in the cafeteria.
“How’s it going down here?” she asked.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Please go ahead and say whatever you’re going to say to me.” I wanted to hear what kind of trouble I was in and get it over with.
Mom sighed. “I don’t know what to say, Elf. That was a tough scene.”
“I’m sorry; I was just really shocked, and—”
“No, I don’t think you need to apologize.” Mom shook her head. “Colton—or Cole, or whatever his name is—really put you through the mill, and you didn’t expect to see him here, of all places.”
“Oh. You’re not mad at me for yelling at him?”
“Like you said, Elf, you were shocked. We all were.”
“Is Rhoda mad at me?”
“You know it would take a lot more than that to make Rhoda mad at you. She understands. She might have felt awkward, but she definitely understands. Her mom is coming to pick her up soon, and she said she’ll call you when she gets home.”
“What happened after we left?” Jenna asked.
“Colton’s grandma told his mom what happened on the first day of school. They’d been keeping it from her since she’s been sick.”
“Did you tell him Elfie’s side?”
“I filled in a few details here and there when they asked for them. But his dad and his grandma have a pretty clear picture, thanks to Sierra.”
“What did his mom say?” I couldn’t imagine how she felt hearing that story, sitting there in the hospital.
“She was disappointed. And extremely apologetic. I told her we were still waiting to hear the honor committee’s verdict, and she said she’d talk to Colton. She’s probably doing that right now….I left when Colton and his grandma came back up to the chemo unit.”
Mom paused. “She also said Colton’s been having a very hard time with her illness. Remember Sierra’s dad saying that Colton had missed a lot of school this year? I suspect that this is why. It’s all a good reminder that everyone you meet has a story you don’t know.”
“That doesn’t make what he did to Elfie okay, though,” Jenna pointed out.
“That’s exactly what his mother said. And she also asked if there was anything she could do to help.”
“She might not need to now,” I said. “Colton said he’ll tell the honor review board the whole story.”
Mom raised her eyebrows. “That would be amazing.”
“You sound like you’re not sure you believe him,” Jenna said.
“No, I guess I’m not.”
“Me neither.” Jenna shook her head as she scraped at the sides of her ice cream cup with her wooden spoon.
“What do you think, Elf?” Mom rested her chin on her hand and looked at me.
What did I think? I had no idea. All of this suddenly felt way too big and grown-up and exhausting for me. At the moment, I only knew one thing for sure, and that was that I wanted to go home.
“We still haven’t taken any pictures of Linda McMuffin,” I said, cutting my egg roll in half to let the steam escape. Dad had a late meeting at the library, and Mom had stopped to pick up Chinese food on the way home from the hospital. (“I’m much too wrung out from our afternoon to even think about cooking,” she said.)
“I know,” Jenna said as she tried to pick up her noodles with chopsticks. “But it would have felt weird to take pictures of her at the hospital; I didn’t know how to ask about that.”
“Me neither,” I said. “I’m glad we didn’t.”
“You can at least write about her trip to the hospital in your egg baby journal, can’t you?” Mom said. “And then we can take pictu
res of her doing something else.”
“Hoo boy, I hope that’s good enough for Will,” Jenna said.
Mom looked surprised. “I thought Will never cared about getting good grades.”
“He doesn’t usually,” I agreed, “but this egg baby project has brought out a whole new Will.”
Jenna backed me up. “Yeah, he’s a real helicopter parent for this egg. He just hovers around her all the time. I’m surprised he even agreed to let me have a second night with her.”
“Well, let me know if you think of some photo opportunities, and I’d be happy to help you,” Mom said. “Maybe take pictures of her with our dinner? Egg baby with egg rolls?”
“Urft, Mom, that was a bad joke.”
“Sorry, I should have covered Linda McMuffin’s ears.” Mom looked around. “Where is she, anyway?”
“I put her in the living room.” Jenna pointed to where Linda was resting on top of a bookshelf.
What happened then was a blur. One second Goober had been winding around Mom’s ankles at the kitchen sink; the next second he was in the living room.
On top of the bookshelf.
Knocking things off with his furry little paw.
Mom and Dad’s wedding picture was the first to go. It fell to the floor with a crash. It was followed by a clay pinch pot I’d made for Dad in kindergarten.
By then it was easy to see what was coming. Jenna and I moved as fast as we could, but we were too late. Just before we reached the bookshelf, Goober gave Linda McMuffin a mighty swat, and our egg baby plummeted to the floor. Her shattered shell was scattered among the broken glass and pottery, and her yolk oozed over Mom and Dad’s smiling wedding-day faces.
It was like a crime scene.
“GOOBER!” Mom yelled.
“Bad kitty!” Jenna added. “Bad, bad kitty!”
Goober ran off, probably to hide under my bed until he thought he was out of trouble. I stared at the mess. There was no way to salvage it. The biggest piece of Linda that was still intact had one green eye and half her little smile on it. It really couldn’t be any worse.
“Oh, girls,” Mom said. “I’m so sorry. I feel like this is partly my fault; I’m the one who laughed at Goober every time he knocked oranges off the counter. He thought it was a game.”
“No, it’s my fault,” Jenna said. “I should have known better than to put Linda on a shelf. I’m really sorry, Elfie.”
They both looked at me like they were afraid I was going to break next.
“Elfie. Say something.” Jenna sounded nervous.
I could only think of one thing to say. “Urft.”
“Urft? All you have to say is urft? Our egg baby just bit the dust! That little thing was growing on me! Plus, we might get an F on our project now. Aren’t you freaking out?”
“We’re not going to get an F,” I said. My voice was the calmest in the room for once. “We have good pictures, and a good journal. And now we have a new story to add. Ms. Rambutan wanted us to learn something from this, right? Well, we learned that we should keep a closer eye on babies around cats. And maybe not put them on bookcases.”
“I guess…,” Jenna said.
“Jenna, listen…I’m not worried. I figure we’ve also learned lately that there are bigger problems than broken eggs. There are even bigger problems than getting kicked out of schools like Hampshire. We can tell Ms. Rambutan that if we have to; I feel like she’d listen.”
“Yeah, okay.” Jenna nodded. “If you aren’t worried, then neither am I.”
Mom gave each of us a squeeze. “I’m proud of you girls. Go finish your homework; I’ll clean up poor Miss Linda here.”
“Oh, but one more thing that might actually be a problem…” The thought occurred to me as I reached into my backpack for the egg baby journal. “How are we going to explain this to Will?”
It would be an understatement to say Will was angry.
Will was incredulous.
Will was outraged.
Will was devastated.
We knew this because he said all these things when we told him what happened to Linda. “I am incredulous. I am outraged. I am devastated. I am speechless.”
“You don’t seem very speechless,” Jenna said.
I tried to reassure him. “I’ll talk to Ms. Rambutan. I don’t think this has to mean we get a bad grade.”
“I don’t care about the grade!” Will howled. “I care about Linda!”
Ms. Rambutan came over to see what was going on.
“Is everything okay in this group? Where is Linda McMuffin?”
“She is not here because she has been murdered!” Will was really laying it on thick.
“She wasn’t murdered.” Jenna rolled her eyes at Will. “She fell.”
“Fell?” Will actually clutched at his chest. “She didn’t fall. She was pushed!”
“Uh-oh.” Ms. Rambutan sounded genuinely concerned. “How did that happen?”
“My cat knocked her off a shelf.” Compared to breaking the news to Will, telling Ms. Rambutan wasn’t so bad.
“Oh dear. Well, that’ll do it.”
“She must have been terrified.” Will sniffled. “Elfie’s cat probably looked like a tiger to her.”
“I’m sorry.” Ms. Rambutan grabbed a tissue from the table behind her and handed it to Will. “I know this must be hard. Once you’ve had time to collect your feelings a bit, you have a couple of options. You have a few days of the assignment left, so I can give you a fresh egg to continue with.”
Will sniffled again. “No one could ever replace Linda.” He picked up Linda’s empty baby carrier from where Jenna had laid it on her desk and held it to his heart.
“Okay. Or you could finish the assignment now, although I should tell you that if you go that route, you will have some points deducted for being a few days short on journal entries. Either way, I’d expect you to write an account of what happened in your egg baby journal, as well as a reflection on what you’ve learned, of course.”
“Do you guys know what you want to do?” I asked Will and Jenna. Will blew his nose and shook his head.
Jenna sighed. “I think we’re going to need some more time.”
“That’s fine,” Ms. Rambutan said. “But please let me know by the end of the day so I know whether I should bring in a fresh egg tomorrow.”
“I need to be alone with my thoughts on this for a while,” Will said after Ms. Rambutan walked away. “Can we reconvene after lunch?”
“Suuurre.” Jenna drew the word out, like she was trying to handle Will extra carefully. She watched him walk to his desk, still holding the egg baby carrier, then turned to me.
“It sounds like he needs some space from us. You can sit with me and Esme today at lunch if you want.”
I’d been less surprised when Goober sent Linda crashing to the ground.
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
I couldn’t picture sitting with Jenna at lunch. And certainly not Esme. But was it even necessary? Was Will so upset that he wouldn’t want me to sit with him?
* * *
• • •
Yes, apparently Will was just that upset. He and Maxine got to the cafeteria before I did, and as I approached our usual table—the ant table, we’d gotten in the habit of calling it—Will held out his hand to stop me, like a crossing guard.
“Elfie, I hope we can resolve this eventually, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to sit together today. I really do need some time alone with my thoughts.”
“You aren’t alone. You’re with Maxine.”
“I need some time alone with my thoughts and Maxine. She is the sounding board for my thoughts.”
Maxine looked at me and mouthed, “Sorry.” I retreated with my lunch box and went to Jenna and Esme’s table.
Jenna slid over so I could sit beside her. I saw her give Esme a look that seemed meaningful, but I couldn’t tell why. Did it mean I’m sorry or Be nice? Or something else altogether?
Whatever it meant, Esme did appear to be making an effort to be welcoming. She offered me a barbecue potato chip, then put the bag in the middle of the table so we could all share them.
“I was just starting to tell Esme about what happened with Linda McMuffin,” Jenna said. “Want to fill her in?”
“That’s okay. You can tell it.” I had no interest in reliving the horror story for Esme.
So Jenna got rolling. She added sound effects (the crash of the frame onto the floor, Mom’s high-pitched yell at Goober) and vivid descriptions (she said Goober ran off like a bolt of lightning). The way Jenna told it, it didn’t sound very much like a horror story. In fact, it actually sounded funny. As I listened to Jenna’s telling of it, it occurred to me that the whole thing was pretty funny…little Goober ruining our big group project with one quick swipe of his paw. Before long, Jenna, Esme, and I were all laughing so hard that I didn’t even notice that we had a visitor until Will cleared his throat, loudly.
“Ahem. I’m not sure what there is to laugh about when we should be mourning, but I wanted to tell you I have reached a decision.”
We stopped laughing and stared up at him.
“Would you like to know what my decision is?”
“Yes, Will.” Jenna sounded like she was trying hard to be patient. “Yes, of course we would.”
“All right. I have decided that since there is no way we could ever come close to replacing Linda McMuffin, we should go with Ms. Rambutan’s second option. We will write a tribute to her in our journal, and then we will have to move on.”
“I’m okay with that,” Jenna agreed.
Will looked at me. “You know this will mean a point deduction, right, Elfie?”
“Why are you only telling her?” Jenna asked. “It’s my grade too.”
“Because Elfie worries about grades more than most people do.”
I sighed. “It’s okay. Believe it or not, I think this is the right decision. We can work on it after school today. Do you guys want to come to my house, since it was supposed to be my turn to take Linda tonight?”
Elfie Unperfect Page 15
