“You certainly are taken with that cub, aren’t you?” Esalu said sharply, brushing back a strand of hair from her forehead. “But let me warn you: Royal Beasts will never, ever be tamed by humans. No matter how much care you devote to that young one, it will never get used to you. You will never be special in its eyes. If you approach it with such foolish illusions, you will be torn to shreds. Don’t ever forget that.”
Elin recalled the sting of the honeybee she had once tried to touch so long ago. Esalu is probably right. I chose to empathize with Leelan of my own free will, but even if I stake my life on caring for the cub, there is no guarantee that it will respond in kind.
“I understand what you’re saying,” Elin said. “But how can I find out without trying?”
Esalu’s expression remained cold. “Death by the fangs of the Royal Beasts is not the only risk we take when we care for them,” she said. “If there is any fault to be found in our care, we could be charged with disloyalty to the Yojeh and thrown in prison. That is why not even the senior students are given full authority to care for them. If anything should happen, it is I who must bear the blame, and therefore the students follow my orders, serving as my hands and feet. Do you have any idea how insolent you are being? You have essentially declared that you believe you can take better care of that Beast cub than me, despite the fact that I have studied Royal Beasts for the past forty years and have been involved in their care nonstop for three decades.”
Elin’s heart beat loudly and her face stiffened. With trembling lips, she looked down at the ground.
Esalu continued quietly, “You are smart. Your mother, a Toda Steward, trained you well to develop your talents, and you were fortunate to be mentored by Joeun, a superb teacher. No doubt that’s why you feel you can do what others can’t… I, too, have felt that way. It will be better for you to find out quickly that you are not so special after all.” She sighed. “You can take care of Leelan for one month in the way you deem fit. However, there is one thing that you must promise me, to protect Leelan from any failure on your part.”
Elin raised her face slowly and looked at Esalu. With a stern expression, the headmistress removed the Silent Whistle from her robe. “When you open the door to the cage, you must always blow on this whistle. Never be overconfident. Swear to me that you will act only when you are sure of what you should do.”
Elin put her hands to her mouth. “Yes. I swear.”
“Come to my office later. I will explain in detail how to care for Leelan. But I will be the one to treat her wound so don’t even try to touch it.”
“Yes, Headmistress.”
Esalu nodded and handed the Silent Whistle to Elin.
Thus began the days that were to dramatically change Elin’s life.
6 TOMURA
“That’s amazing!! Unbelievable!” Yuyan exclaimed. At the sound of her excited shout, the boys remaining in the classroom during the break looked over in surprise. Yuyan threw her arms around Elin. “You must be the first kid in Kazalumu history to jump straight to the upper level.”
“Yuyan, wait. I’m not…” Elin interjected hastily, but her friend did not hear her.
“Well done, Elin! This is just so exciting! But, you know, I’m gonna miss you. We won’t be taking classes together anymore I guess.” She squeezed Elin so tightly that Elin blinked in surprise. Frantically, she tried to correct the misunderstanding.
“Yuyan, you’ve got it all wrong. Listen…”
But now the boys rushed over and joined the commotion. “Are you really skipping to the upper level?” they asked.
Elin tried to shake her head as best she could while still trapped in her friend’s embrace. “No, I’m not! Yuyan misunderstood… Yuyan, please! Let me go! You’re strangling me.”
This time Yuyan must have heard her because she released her reluctantly. “What’s there to misunderstand? You said the headmistress gave you a Silent Whistle, right? And you’re not coming to classes or doing chores anymore, right?”
Free at last, Elin drew a deep breath. Sparks danced before her eyes. Pressing a hand to her forehead, she looked around at her classmates. “I’m sorry. I should have explained more clearly… The headmistress gave me permission to take just one month off to observe a Beast cub in the stable back in the woods. I’m not skipping any grades.”
As she was talking, the door to the classroom slid back and a tall, sturdy youth came in. When she saw his face, Elin faltered. It was the youth who had been taking care of Leelan. He came over to where they sat and glared down at Elin, his face rigid.
“Do you have some kind of connection with the headmistress or something?” he demanded. His voice sounded strained. He was obviously struggling to keep his anger from showing.
Elin shook her head. She felt her pulse quicken and her stomach cramped. “Connection? I’m not related to her if that’s what you mean… My foster father is a friend of hers, but…”
The youth’s eyebrows shot up. “Have you no sense of shame? How could you use that kind of influence to take over my job? Without experience or training, you could end up harming that cub, you know. Can’t you tell right from wrong?”
Elin felt the blood drain from her face. She tried to speak but found it hard to breathe. In a faint voice, she managed to say, “No, you’ve made a mistake. I didn’t use any connection to get permission to care for Leelan.”
The youth gazed at her steadily, his frown deepening. “Then why did the headmistress take my job and give it to you?”
“…Because I’ve seen Royal Beasts in the wild.”
The youth looked taken aback, his eyes widening. The students sitting around Elin also looked startled. “Really? You’ve seen Royal Beasts in the wild?”
Elin nodded. “Yes. I was raised by a beekeeper. Every summer we went into the mountains, following the flowers, to places where most people never go. We ran into wild Royal Beasts when we were collecting herbs on a steep cliff. There was a nest halfway down with a mother and her young.”
Some of the anger left the youth’s eyes. “…But what does the fact that you’ve seen Royal Beasts in the wild have to do with caring for Leelan?”
Elin’s voice was dry and hoarse. “The headmistress asked me if I would like to find the differences between Beasts in the wild and those in captivity, and I said yes, I would.”
There was a long silence. The youth regarded her thoughtfully, one hand absently stroking the newly grown fuzz on his chin. “…Are you sure that’s all?”
Elin frowned in puzzlement.
The young man looked as if he were debating whether to say what was on his mind or not, but then continued. “Come on. There must be more to it than that. You’re an Ahlyo. Didn’t she give you the job because you have some kind of special knowledge?”
A pain shot through Elin’s chest as if she had been pierced with a thin blade. Unable to speak, she shook her head mutely.
“You deny it? But you knew what was in the tokujisui. And not just for the Royal Beasts, but for the Toda, too.”
A look of surprise crossed the faces of Elin’s classmates. There was a ringing in Elin’s ears and the color seemed to drain from everything around her. A cold sweat sprang up on her forehead as she raised her face to look at the youth. “That’s… not because… I’m an Ahlyo.”
She did not want to talk about her mother. But how could she make him understand without telling him? She stared at him dumbly, her mind blank, unable to find any words to say. Suddenly a warm hand grasped hers and squeezed it firmly. Startled, she turned to see Yuyan nodding at her reassuringly. She felt her frozen body loosen, and sound came rushing back… As she relaxed, she remembered what Esalu had told her and looked squarely at the youth.
“I can’t tell you right now why I know what’s used in the Toda’s tokujisui. The headmistress told me that I was not to talk about it.” The youth looked dissatisfied, but Elin plowed on. “She told me I should not even tell my friends. She said that when I grow up and u
nderstand the world better, I’ll know how to explain it properly, and that I shouldn’t tell anyone until then.”
“Not even me? She didn’t say that, did she?” Yuyan demanded, looking forlorn. At the sound of her plaintive voice, so different from the tense conversation that had preceded it, the heavy atmosphere in the room seemed to shift.
Elin bowed her head. “I’m sorry, Yuyan, but she specifically said not to tell you.”
Yuyan cocked an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not very nice. But I suppose it can’t be helped. Besides, it’s kind of an honor to be recognized as your friend by the headmistress. And you will tell me someday, right?”
Elin nodded.
The young man looked down at the two girls with the expression of one who has just had the wind taken out of his sails. Finally, he said in a gruff voice, “Well, I guess if the headmistress knows why and still entrusted you with Leelan’s care, then it’s not my place to complain.” He bent down to look Elin straight in the eyes. “But remember this. Leelan is very precious to me. That cub is as fragile as glasswork that could break at any moment. Can you guess how I feel about having to relinquish it into your care before it has been cured?”
Elin remained silent.
“If anything happens to Leelan, I’ll never forgive you. Keep that in mind and take care of that cub as though your life depended on it.” With this parting shot, he stood up and left the room.
The door slid closed with a sharp click. At the sound, Elin started and charged out of the door. She had to run to catch up to his long strides. “Wait…” she called out. The young man stopped and turned.
“What?”
Elin searched frantically for words. She had thought she wanted to apologize, but when she saw his face, she realized that a simple apology was meaningless. She had stolen Leelan from him. When she had pleaded with the headmistress to entrust her with the young Beast’s care, she had not spared a moment’s thought for the sorrow it might cause this youth. She deserved any abuse he might throw at her.
Yet, even so, she could not bear to leave Leelan alone like that in the darkness. If this youth and the headmistress continued to use the Silent Whistle every time they went into the cage, that Beast would die. They might scoff at her if she told them, but she was sure of this. If she really wanted to help Leelan regardless of what others might think of her, then it was selfish to seek forgiveness. Still, she did not want this youth to think that she had asked the headmistress for the job so that she could win her favor. She wanted him to know that she also cared about Leelan.
Although he was looking at her with a frown, he did not rush her. She swallowed and said the first words that came to her. “I felt sorry for Leelan… I was taken from my mother, too… when I was little.”
The young man’s brows twitched.
“Leelan is still at the age when Beasts should be sheltered under their mothers in the nest. I could imagine how it must have felt when it was torn from its mother, without any warning.” Elin forced herself to go on. “In the wild, the Royal Beast I saw nurtured her young tenderly, just like humans, so…”
“You’ve said enough,” the youth said. “I understand already.” He turned to leave.
“Please. Teach me,” Elin blurted out. “About Leelan.”
The youth turned slowly to look at her. Taking a deep breath, she repeated, “Please, teach me what you know about Leelan.”
A bitter smile touched his eyes. “You’ve got some nerve, haven’t you? Is that what you want? To build your house on the foundation I made? Are you that desperate for recognition?”
Elin shook her head. “I just want Leelan to eat; to come out into the light of day instead of staying huddled in the darkness. I only have one month… You said that Leelan was precious to you. You are the one who knows that cub the best. So please teach me.”
He stood for some time gazing at the girl, her eyes huge and bright in a pale face. She’s a selfish little brat who would do anything to get her way, he told himself. Yet he could not feel angry with her. The dark rage that had smoldered in his stomach just moments before had suddenly been stilled. If Leelan were to be entrusted to this girl’s care, then she would need detailed instructions so as not to do anything careless. He rubbed his chin.
“…Come with me. I’ll show you what to do.”
Elin’s face lit up. “Thank you!” she said, and followed after him.
The young man frowned. He wanted to believe that she had taken over his job in order to show off, but when he saw the light in her eyes, he found that he couldn’t. He had heard the passion in her voice when she had said she wanted to see Leelan eat. She was not lying when she claimed that she cared.
To be honest, he had grown weary of caring for the cub. Despite his efforts, it had never warmed to him, but always responded with fear and hostility. He had been proud when the headmistress had assigned him to its care. She had believed in his ability, and he had longed to fulfill her expectations. He had also sincerely pitied the Beast cub and longed to help it. But no matter what he did, it refused to eat. These last few days, all he had been able to think of was what would happen to his reputation if Leelan should die while under his charge. When he had suddenly been relieved of his duties, he had been angry and wanted to let the girl know what he thought. At the same time, however, he had no desire to wrest his job back from her.
If he had had any confidence that what he was doing for Leelan would make a difference, he would have refused outright when the headmistress had asked him if he was willing to let someone else take over. The truth was that he had accepted because he no longer knew what to do. Perhaps the headmistress had realized how he was feeling. Perhaps she had been willing to let this girl try because she, too, was at a loss.
Just one month… What might happen in a month? If the cub continued to refuse its food and the tokujisui, it would surely die. If it died while under this girl’s care, he could not be blamed. Although he knew it was cowardly, this thought passed through his mind. Still, who knew what this girl was really capable of? Perhaps she could use the mysterious knowledge of the Ahlyo to save Leelan.
He found he did not mind that thought at all. If it meant that he could see Leelan napping in the sun, then he would be willing to endure the mortification of this girl succeeding where he had failed.
The sound of her voice brought him back to the present. “Um, would you mind telling me your name? I’m Elin.”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I’m Tomura.”
7 LIGHT FROM BELOW
“You want to remove the wall of the stable?” Esalu stared at the youth standing in front of her. “Why?”
Tomura looked slightly flustered. “Because Elin asked me to. She said the angle of the light that comes through the window is a problem. She thinks it frightens Leelan.”
Esalu pushed back an unruly strand of hair. “What do you think?”
Tomura frowned. “I don’t know. On the one hand, I doubt whether something like that would matter… but, you know, that girl’s different, so the things she says make me wonder.”
“What do you mean she’s different?”
“She spends all her time in the Beast quarters. She has her friend save food for her and when she goes to the dorm to have a bath, she gathers up as much as she can carry and takes it back with her. She’s been there five days already, and the only time she leaves is to take a bath or use the toilet. She spends the rest of her time with Leelan. She wraps herself up in a blanket and just sits there watching.”
Esalu laughed. “So she’s bathing, is she? When she said she wanted Leelan to get accustomed to her scent, I thought she wouldn’t even wash.”
“She does. I met her on the way to the bath. She said that Leelan doesn’t seem to react much to smell, but she thought it might be better not to let it detect her body odor.” He reddened. Honestly, she was really just a kid, not a girl. Talking about things like that didn’t seem to embarrass her at all. “Anyway, I’ve been checking up on her every day,
just to make sure everything’s all right. Usually, she doesn’t pay much attention, but today she actually came out of the stable to talk to me. I was wondering why when she asked me to remove the wall. Or rather one of the planks. At the level of the water basin.”
“The water basin? Ah, I see. That’s quite low down. So she’s asking you to remove a board near the floor.”
“Yes. She said she wants to try introducing light from below Leelan rather than from above.”
Esalu stroked her chin. She thought she could guess what Elin was thinking. “I see… That should be all right. Go ahead and do what she asked. Can you do it yourself or should I ask one of the custodians?”
“No, I can handle it. Those boards aren’t even part of the stable. They were just tacked on later because Leelan was so upset by the light. I just need to remove the nails.” He bowed briskly and left the room.
Strangely, the more Elin grew accustomed to the darkness, which at first had been impenetrable and smelt of Beast, the more comfortable it began to feel—despite the fact that she had found the darkness frightening as a child, and that she still did not like it even now. Standing with the blanket wrapped around her, she discovered that her mind felt full of peace, as if she were drifting on the bottom of a pool of warm water. There were times when she was not sure if she were sleeping or waking.
Leelan must want to be immersed in this warmth. The cub had not eaten for a long time, so perhaps it spent all its time dozing. It was very quiet on the other side of the bars.
When Elin had first begun observing it, the cub had appeared to be distracted by her smell, her presence, her breathing. It had stirred frequently, and Elin could hear it tearing out its fur. But by the second day, these sounds had almost ceased. Watching day and night, she gradually began to sense when it woke up and when it went to sleep. The door of the stable was left open, and there was enough light to see the cub’s form vaguely. When the light that filtered through the door took on the clear transparency of dawn, Leelan would begin to move. It drank water and discharged body wastes so punctually each day that these actions seemed to be timed to the sound of the school bell.
The Beast Player Page 16
