I sat down on my bed and waited for him. It would be the right thing for him to do. He should be over here begging for my forgiveness; not giving up. I would forgive him in a heartbeat. I wanted him and didn’t want to be without him. I just couldn’t talk to him before—I was so shocked and hurt. I know it wasn’t fair of me to push him away; he had seen me having sex with Dane. Of course that was so wrong; I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t know what happened with him and Brianna Stone. Not exactly, but I did know he went to her room and he let her kiss him right in front of me, and he couldn’t deny it. But I owed him the chance to explain. I felt terribly guilty for not letting him. Jealousy is a very ugly emotion. It makes you act irrationally.
I was convinced he was on his way to me. I laid myself down on the bed in the sexiest position I could and fixed my hair so it was splayed perfectly around my head. When he got here, I’d make sure I looked so hot and sexy he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off me. I’d show him I was the only woman he wanted. I’d show him what he’d be missing if he didn’t fight for me. I’d show him how much I missed him and wanted him, too.
I waited for a while, but he never came. It just showed me how little I truly meant. If he loved me, he would have been over here knocking my door down. But he wasn’t. I thought about running over there, but he was the one who needed to run to me. Maybe I had truly hurt him by pushing him away, by taking off my ring.
And that’s when it hit me. I was already his for life and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. It was just meant to be. So I wasn’t going to sit back and let another woman take him. He was mine and I was going to fight for him. If he chose not to be with me, at least I know I did the best I could. I figured I might as well go to sleep. At least I’d be away from this nightmare. But I’d soon learn I wasn’t.
I heard a sound beside my bed. When I opened my eyes, Grant was crouched at the foot of my bed watching me. He was dressed in gray suit pants, a button down shirt and a black tie. He looked so handsome. He also looked hungry and desperate. It was the only way I could describe him.
“Grant? What are you doing?” I said groggily.
“Lanie, please let me stay. I just want to be near you,” he pled in a whisper.
“I don’t want you to leave. I don’t ever want you to leave.”
A huge grin spread across his face. He started to move and then stopped and looked at me for permission. I felt my heart start to race at the prospect of him touching me and nodded quickly.
He crawled up onto my bed. His eyes pierced through me. He still looked like he wanted to eat me and I felt like prey being approached by a predator. I was unable to move and was mesmerized by his eyes but could feel him before he even touched me.
Soon he was hovering above me. I began to squirm with anticipation. Damn Grant, just touch me already! He leaned over and brought his face close to mine, just inches away. I could feel his warm, sweet breath. The smell of him intoxicated me. At this point, he could have been Casanova, visiting every woman across the land. As long as I had him for this moment, I was okay with that.
“Grant, I …”
“Shhhh.” He put his finger up and touched my lips to hush me. I felt a wave of excitement go through my body. I bit my lip in the hopes of being able to taste him. My breath became quicker, deeper as my breasts rose closer to him with each inhale. I wanted to push them against him, throw my entire body against his. Ready for him I squirmed more. He noticed my anticipation and gave a sultry smirk and I melted.
“It’s been too long, Lanie. I can’t be without you any longer. It’s like not having air to breathe. I need to touch you, to have you. Don’t move.” I nodded my head, wanting him to touch me. I’d do anything he requested right now.
He rested his body beside mine and reached out to touch my hair, pulling a strand of it to his nose and inhaling. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and then closed. I bit my lip, but only to keep myself from pouncing on him.
He removed his tie and ran it over my exposed skin. The tease was intense. I gave his a pleading look with my eyes, begging for his touch. He slowly reached out and touched my face with just one fingertip. He ran it down my cheek. My skin tingled everywhere he touched. I stayed very still, basking in it. His finger traced around my mouth and then my jaw line, down my neck. He ran it across my décolletage and I arched my breasts up towards him.
“No, don’t move. Stay very still.” My breath hitched in my throat. He traced down to my cleavage, running the tip over every curve. Back and forth he traced, from breast to breast, hovering over my heart each time he passed. I closed my eyes so I could get lost in his light touch.
“Lanie, I’m going to do something now. Please let me.”
He reached out and cupped one breast, massaging it and then kissed where my heart laid beating inside my chest. That alone brought me great pleasure. It felt like we were together for the first time again. Each touch, each kiss, shot a jolt of desire through my entire body. He slid his body closer to mine so there was total contact; the heat coming off of him was intense.
“I’m going to remove your clothing now. Please don’t stop me.” I nodded, and he ran his tongue down my stomach slowly. It was torturous. My sex was throbbing for him. He straightened up, straddled my legs and then began to slowly remove my panties with his teeth. I could feel his breath on me. He was moving so slowly, it was driving me insane.
“Grant, oh, please touch me,” I begged him, lifting my hips off the bed.
“Shhhhhh. I will. You’ll have to wait,” he murmured seductively.
“I’ve waited too long to feel you again. I can’t wait anymore,” I whimpered.
“No? You can’t wait just a few more moments?” he teased. I shook my head slightly.
He brought his hand between my legs and began to slowly touch. I groaned at the feel of it.
“Oh. Baby, I want to feel your mouth on me.”
“Oh and I want to taste you. I’m so hungry for you,” he growled. I moaned in response. My man still wanted me. He could have or do anything he wanted.
“Please. Take me. Any way you want. I’ll do anything you want.” I sighed.
He leaned down and gently kissed my sex, then flicked it with his tongue. My hips bucked gently toward his mouth but he pulled away. I gave him my best pout.
“I want you naked first.” He grabbed the front of my nightie and ripped it off of me, the fabric giving way to his strength. His frustration was showing. I began to unbutton his shirt and he stopped me. “No, Lanie. Not yet.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me into his lap so my back was against him. I could feel how hard he was; it pulsed through his pants against my bottom. He took his tie and bound my wrists gently and then slipped them over his head so they were around his neck. It was hot as hell. I was bound to him. It was so loose I could easily escape, but I didn’t want to. He wrapped his arms around me and began to run them up and down the front of my body, stopping at various areas to tease and fondle. I leaned my head back against him and closed my eyes and let him have his way. My fingers curled into the hair on the back of his head. He was playing with my breasts and then moved down my body to settle his hands between my legs, where he began to furiously work me. He bit and kissed my neck. Immediately, I was on the verge of an orgasm. My body stiffened against him. I turned my head to kiss him, but he didn’t respond in kind. He stopped everything. I suddenly felt very exposed, completely naked while he was fully dressed. But isn’t this what I wanted? Him to show me, to come to me?
“Baby, please don’t stop.”
“But I’m not ready to give you release, Lanie. At least, not like this.” After releasing my wrists, he picked me up off his lap, then placed me on my feet, pushing me towards the window. I complied willingly.
When in front of the window, he pushed me down so that I was bent over the sill, my buttocks and sex completely exposed to him. He knelt behind me and took what he wanted. My entire body began to shudder a
s he dipped his tongue inside me with each pass. I was in heaven, the feeling intense. He smacked my ass and then stood up behind me, holding me in place with one hand while he undid his pants with the other.
Again I tried to turn around to kiss him, but he wouldn’t let me.
“Lanie, all those nights in front of the window, watching you, your body, teasing me … this is what I wanted to do to you. For as long as I can remember, I wanted this.”
With that he thrust hard inside me. He was moving at an extremely fast pace, being rough, even. I cried out in pain and tried to move, but I was pinned against the sill and he held either side of me to keep me in place. It didn’t feel right, it felt degrading and wrong. After a few moments, the pain teetered on the verge of pleasure.
“Oh God, Lanie, so tight.” And he continued to drive into me over and over again, until I felt his body tense. He cried out loudly as he came. He turned me around, sat me up on the sill edge and slumped his body into mine, letting the breeze coming off the ocean through the open window cool him off. He kept me pinned against him and the sill.
“Don’t worry, Lover, I’m not done with you yet. I have many more things I’m going to do to you, and when I’m done, you’ll get yours. Just be a good girl and I’ll reward you.”
I didn’t like where this was going. Grant felt foreign to me. I looked at the large mirror across the room, the image of my love and I wrapped around each other stared back at me. But the image didn’t seem tender or loving. I tried to tell myself to wake up, that this must be some terrible dream. I mouthed the words to myself in the mirror. Grant’s body moved in front of my view, almost as if he was trying to block my mind. It was a much better sight than the one of my panic. His beautiful strong back and muscular arms around me; but this wasn’t the Grant I knew and I saw in the mirror; it was a pseudo Grant.
I tried over and over again to will myself to push him away to leave the room, but Grant would lure me back to him so he could continue to ravage me. It was so easy to stay with Grant no matter how he taunted me.
If he kissed me, I would stay. If he didn’t, I would leave.
“Grant, kiss me.”
“No, Lanie, I can’t kiss you. That would be too intimate. This isn’t about love, you know that. We’re just about the sex. I only kiss my wife.”
“Your wife? What? What the hell are you talking about? You’re not married. You’re engaged to me.”
“Oh, you sweet, demented little minx. You live in a fantasy world when I come to visit, don’t you? I can’t marry you; you know I’m already married to Brianna. But I could never give up this sex with you. So hot. So good. You have to let this little dream go.”
Damn straight I have to let this dream go, because at this point I knew I was trapped inside some sick nightmare.
I willed myself to wake up. In my dream-state, I began to scream. I knew if I could just scream, I’d wake up. I had been here before. Stuck in a night terror, trying desperately to get out. I tried to move, but my arms were pinned to the bed. My body and subconscious were still in the dream, but my conscious mind was awake. I flailed and screamed further in my dream and I could feel my true body just start to respond. I couldn’t tell if I were actually moving or screaming for real, until I felt hands on me shaking me awake.
“Lanie? Wake up, Lanie. Wake the hell up. It’s just a nightmare.”
The hands released me and I heard something click.
“Open your eyes. Open them now. Sit up.” Trying to wake from a night terror was really a tough thing. My body wanted to respond, and in the dream, I willed myself to comply. But in the awake world, it wouldn’t.
“God damn it, Lanie. Now you’re freaking me out. Wake the fuck up.”
I felt my body being dragged out of bed and again, violent shaking. Finally, my eyes started to open. My head went back and forth between the dream and consciousness.
“Come on, Lanie, you’re almost there.”
I felt my eyes flutter open and Dane was hovering above me. The light was blinding. My flailing arms finally listened to my brain and they shot out towards Dane’s face. He swatted them away.
“What’s …what’s going on?”
“You were screaming. I got here and I couldn’t wake you up. Lanie, you need to go talk to Grant now. You two can’t be like this anymore. You’re over here freaking out in your sleep, and he’s over there breaking things and trying to pack and leave forever.”
“He’s what? He’s trying to leave? He wants to leave me again?” I was completely panicking. Partly from the night terror and partly because I believed he was leaving to be with Brianna.
“No, Lanie, he says if you won’t be with him, he can’t stay on the cliff anymore. He said that would be the worst torture in the world. To know he had you, ruined it, and then to see you every day. He said he couldn’t do that for the rest of his life.”
“Did he leave? Is he still here?”
“Oh, he’s way too wasted to go anywhere. I believe Samantha tossed a sleeping pill in his last drink.”
“Is she trying to fucking kill him?”
“He’ll survive.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s 3:33 am.”
“I have to go over there. I need to tell him not to leave!” I was frantic.
“That’s my girl. Now GO!” Dane handed me my bathrobe when he said it. “Now maybe the rest of us can get some sleep. We’ve been up all night babysitting the both of you. I had the easier job. You just cried a lot in your sleep and then this night terror. Grant? He needed to be restrained by Steve and Dylan. He’s been a wreck.”
I didn’t have time to listen why. I was already on my way down the stairs and out the front door to Grant’s. I busted through the front door, and Samantha, Dylan, Chelsie, and Steve all looked up at me. Chelsie just pointed toward the ceiling. I was gone. I thought I heard Samantha giggle as I took the stairs three at a time, stumbling a few times and giving myself rug burn on one knee. I cursed but kept going.
When I reached Grant’s room I was moving so fast I literally fell into it. It was a mess, pillows and books and just stuff thrown about the room. It looked like a bomb went off. Grant was lying on his bed, face down, covered in a sheet. I walked over and sat down next to him.
“Grant?” I whispered softly. I wanted to touch him, but I was afraid he wouldn’t know it was me, and from the looks of his room, I didn’t want to end up on the floor with the other items. I tried again.
He stirred slightly. And then I heard him whimper my name as if he didn’t believe I was here.
“Grant. Turn over and look at me.”
“Lanie?” he slurred. “Is that really you or am I dreaming? Oh, sweet sleep, to have you actually here with me.” Then another whimper. I was actually amazed he was able to slur so eloquently. And then he passed out.
I sat there and watched him for a while. His sleep was restless and he would murmur my name here and there. I looked around the room. I got up and started to straighten it. I had at it until the room was basically back together.
I turned my attention back to Grant. He was just so damn beautiful. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to be against him. I headed towards the bed, climbed in beside him and shimmied my body until I was spooning him. His arm reflectively reached back and wrapped around me. I closed my eyes and rubbed my face gently against his back. I heard a sigh escape him.
“I love you, Grant. I’ll always love you. I just need to understand. And then we’ll figure this out together. I can’t be without you.”
As if I reached somewhere into his mind, he rolled over and took me in his arms. I felt so good there. Safe. Right. Whole. I didn’t want to know what happened anymore. I didn’t care and only wanted him. I felt his lips brush against my cheek and turned my head to let them graze mine where they came to rest. I stayed with him until I heard his deep breaths of slumber. I kissed him softly. It took all my strength not to slide my tongue into his mouth and arouse him in a few ways.
“Lanie, my beautiful Lanie. I would never intentionally betray you,” he whispered, as if he was planting subliminal messages into my sleeping brain.
I began to stir slowly and I heard him take a quick breath in. When I opened my eyes, he was lying next to me, his head propped up on his arm. He just stared at me. His eyes were still full of pain.
“Grant. I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you last night … given you a chance to explain. I love you. I trust you. It was so unfair of me to do that to you. I only saw a kiss. After what you saw—”
The Cliff Page 37
