by Ali Parker
"Dana. I love you so much, baby," I groaned as electricity pulsed throughout my body, leaving me weak and useless.
There wasn't much I wouldn't offer her to bring her back to me.
Really? Then try. Try harder.
No. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair... to her.
***
"You look pale." Eliza glanced up from her desk as a smile played at the edge of her mouth. "You okay?"
"I've been better." I walked in and glanced around, amused at how pristine her office was. Mine was a holy-hell wreck on a good day. "You got a minute?"
"For you? Anything." She leaned back and crossed her hands over her stomach. She was twenty-years my senior, and as brilliant in life as she was in accounting. "Tell me what's on your mind."
"Everything." I dropped down in the chair in front of her desk. "Nothing?"
She chuckled. "You know, you really shouldn't wear those glasses." She tilted her head to the side a little. "They're not doing you any favors."
I pulled off my black-rimmed glasses and studied them. "No? I thought they made me look smarter."
"Naw... you can still see your face." She chuckled and patted her chest. "I love that line from Grease. Classic movie for sure."
I forced a laugh. "So, it's a no-go on the glasses?"
"Yeah. You're a handsome man, Kendal. You know that. The glasses only help with the appeal."
"Oh." I dropped my hand into my lap. "Oh."
She laughed again. "Alright, Mister. What are you up to? You look like you're at death's door. I take it that you haven't been to see Mark about Heather yet."
"No, I haven't. That's why I was stopping by." I put my glasses back on and shrugged as she gave me a stern look. "I can't see without them."
"Take your chances then." She sat up and rested her forearms on the desk in front of her. "You need to go talk to Lance. He's a good guy. Tell him the situation and ask what your next steps are. I can ask Daisy if she would be willing to talk to him about the affair she and Mark had." She held up her hand as I started to respond, which shut me up quickly. "He's just as liable in all of this sexual harassment mess as Heather is. Things rot from the head down. He's a filthy cheating bastard, and therefore, he puts up with people just like himself. He finds no wrong in it."
"And you think Lance would really want to talk with me? I don't have any evidence, Eliza. I'm the one that almost lost my job six years ago because of dating a student."
"Stupid move, but we've been over that a million times."
"Yes, thank you." I pursed my lips together to keep from being the cock I wanted to be. No sleep, the pain of losing love again and a raging hangover had me willing to act more like I did in college, which wasn't good at all.
There was a reason Damon was my only friend back then. No one else could stand my ass. Or his.
"Lance knows the situation. Go to him more for advice. See what he tells you to do and follow it, unless it doesn't make much sense."
"Mark's advice to take care of Heather didn't make much sense either, but he's more interested in getting a promotion than taking care of the fucking department."
"Yep, and that leaves all of us in quite a predicament." Her phone rang and she glanced at it. "That's my granddaughter. Let me get it and I'll come down to your office when I'm done."
"No, it's okay." I stood up and picked up my bag. "I'll catch you later."
"Alright. I'm here if you need me." She gave me a tight smile before I turned and walked out into the hallway.
Mark nodded as he caught sight of me and motioned for me to come closer. "Dr. Tarrington. Good to see you. Some of your students have been asking about the accuracy of your office hours."
"Yeah, losing my little sister has me a little off." I extended my hand to shake his. "I'll be back on track starting next week. I'll have one of my TAs send out a note letting everyone know."
"Sounds great." He shook my hand with vigor. "You know the Fall Festival for Beta Alpha Psi is coming up. You're taking care of that, right?"
Fuck. I'd forgotten all about the accounting honors fraternity's big fall event. It was their main fundraiser as they charged a fee for getting in the door.
"Yeah. Of course. I'll get together with some of the officers later today and get the details locked down."
"You know with Heather being out of town for the event that you're going to need to ask another professor, or maybe one of your grad-students to help you chaperon."
I snorted. "Chaperon? We're talking about twenty-two year old adults."
"You know it's the University rules that if we have a University-sponsored event that we have one male and one female chaperon there." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you need me to find someone?"
"No. Where is Heather going to be?" I felt like an idiot for not knowing.
The sound of her voice behind me caused my hair to stand on edge. Our last encounter had ended with my fingers wrapped around her throat and her threatening to tell everyone from the Dean to the President of the University that I was once again dating a student.
"My parent's are having their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary." She sounded almost bored with the announcement.
I glanced over my shoulder and forced myself into a calm I didn't feel. "Nice. I'll take care of everything. No worries."
"Do you have time to chat later today?" She gave me a cute, innocent smile that would make most men howl like heathens.
"I might. I'll stop by your office after my classes if I can manage it." I turned back to Mark, not waiting on the bitch's response. She was a snake in the grass and had her eyes completely on me.
Some part of me wanted to send her to McKenzie and Bryant to let Damon deal with her ass, but there was no way I would do that. He and Bethany were finally working things out, and I loved them both. Hurting them would bring me no joy, and it's not like Heather was going anywhere. She wanted a hard fuck in the hall closet from one person. Me.
"You good on getting someone then?" Mark reached out and patted my shoulder.
"Yeah. Sure." I moved past him and walked to the stairwell just outside of our office, my mind running through the possibility of asking Dana.
I'd called ten times over the last two weeks, but had yet to leave a message. She thought me to be a creeper for sure by now, but some part of me could care less.
After getting settled in my classroom, I dropped down in the front row and pulled out my phone. I had another twenty minutes until my class would show up.
"Please." I closed my eyes and tilted my chin toward the ceiling. "Please, please, please let her come. Maybe we can just be friends if nothing else."
We couldn't. I already knew without a doubt, but it didn't stop me from wanting anything I could get from her. I just needed a way back into her life. Surely she would forgive me over time. I wasn't at all at fault for the situation and nothing had changed for me.
Yes, Ana was her sister. Yes, I'd once thought I was in love with Ana, but I was wrong. At the first sign of trouble, Ana picked up and ran, leaving me to stand in the spotlight of shame alone. If I did love the girl, I'd quickly gotten over it.
That was a lie.
I let out a soft sigh. I knew two things.
One, I didn't love Ana anymore. I didn't have any feelings for her when she walked through the door at Dana's mother's house. Nothing. Not even a drop of lust, love or longing.
And two, I was completely in love with Dana. She was everything I wanted in my life, everything I'd ever dreamed I might have.
I dialed the number and almost hoped that she wouldn't pick up. It would be easier to just leave a message and chunk the ball back into her court.
Four rings later, the answering machine picks up.
Her sweet voice filled my ear, leaving my pulse racing and my cock hardening in my slacks. She sounded like a naughty angel. My angel. I was so going to hell.
"This is Dana Young. I'm not here right now, but if you want to leave me your name and number, I'l
l try and get back to you soon. I hope you're having a healthy day!!"
The loud beep resounded in my ear, and I sucked in a shaky breath.
"Dana, it’s Kendal. Look, I know we haven't talked in a couple of weeks, but I really could use your help. I have an accounting honors event that I have to chaperon this Friday. I know its short notice, but I need a female grad-student that's not in the club to attend with me." I took another breath and stood up, feeling a little light-headed. What the fuck was wrong with me? "Just wanted to see if you might be free. I'd love to see you, but I totally understand if you're busy or don't want to see me. I want to explain everything, but we don't have to do that on Friday. I just... fuck. I'm rambling, aren't I? Call me if you're interested, but if not, it's all good."
I hung up before I whispered, 'bye, baby' into the phone and locked in my creeper status forever.
The door to the auditorium opened and a few students walked in, saving me from either an emotional breakdown or me making the mistake of calling her back... over and over and over until she answered.
After avoiding women altogether for the last six years, I was going to turn into a Class-A stalker if I wasn't careful.
From not caring at all to caring too much.
Was there no way to strike a balance and live in the middle where moderation existed? I would have thought so before, but not now.
I yearned for Dana so much more than I thought possible.
I was even willing to leave my career and move to New York... today, tonight, tomorrow. Whatever she wanted.
But first, I needed to get her to talk to me, to see me.
"Dr. Tarrington? You alright, man? You look lost in thought."
I smirked and extended my hand to one of my students. "Yep. Just trying to solve a cost accounting question that none of you nugget-heads stand a chance against."
"Awww... cold! Throw it at us. We'll get it."
"We'll see about that." I forced a smile and turned my back on them walking to the front of the class. Dana would play on my mind all day long, the idea of her ignoring my call the only thing I could seem to think about.
Losing her hurt like a bitch, but not standing a chance of getting her back?
I couldn't even fathom it.
Chapter 4
Dana
Going on a date with Talon was the last thing I wanted to do, but of course the guy called shortly after I got off the phone with Brandon. He didn't even ask, but simply assumed I was willing to go seeing that my brother already made the confirmation with him.
I grumbled all the way to work the next morning. My evenings were my time to soak in a hot tub, drown myself in ice cream and wine and cry until I had no tears left inside of me.
It was becoming a tradition. A very fucked up, nightly tradition.
"Dana. You have a minute?" Dr. Lewis stood beside the ER reception desk. "I apologize about having to miss our meeting yesterday. Something came up with my wife."
"Sure. No problem." I readjusted my backpack on my shoulder and moved up beside him as we walked down the hallway. "I hope your wife is okay."
"She's undergoing cancer treatments." He glanced over at me, the worried expression on his face shooting an arrow through my heart.
"Oh. I'm sorry." I tried to think of something better to say, but nothing came to me. Funny how his pain had the power to make mine seem so small.
"No, we're okay. She's a trooper." He held the door to the elevator open for me. "She'd been fighting it for some time, and things aren't looking nearly as good as I would like for them to, but we're not giving up."
"Good. Is there anything I can do?" I moved into the elevator and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Just give me an update on Kendal. You're seeing him, right?" He slipped his hands in his pockets and gave me a soft smile. He had no clue of the drama we'd been through lately.
"Sort of." I shrugged, not quite ready to lay out my dirty laundry in front of one of the leading physicians in our hospital.
"Well, make sure you tell him that Denise and I are still praying for him, and when he's ready, we'd love to have him over for dinner." He glanced down at his feet. "Sooner than later, hm?"
"Of course." His message was loud and clear. He wasn't saying what he wanted to say, but I'd been around the dying for far too long. His wife didn't have much time left.
"I'd love for you to come too. Bring him with you?"
The elevator opened and I nodded before walking out. The chances of Kendal and I ending up at a dinner with Dr. Lewis and his wife were slim. He would move on, and I would transfer to New York to see about getting a residency in St. Mark's Hospital. I could be closer to Olivia and get away from the possibility of watching Kendal get back with my sister.
That's not going to happen. It can't.
The sickening feeling had only grown as I walked into Dr. Lewis's office and sat down in front of his desk. "I hope this isn't about me missing three days last week. We had a family emergency, and I filled out all of the necessary paperwork to make sure I wasn't counted for those days."
He smiled and sat down at his desk. "Nothing of the sort."
"Good." I tried to relax, but found myself sitting stiffly in front of him.
"I told you the other day that I was impressed with you jumping into action. You have great ratings on your internship as well." He paused and I tried to think of something to say, but couldn't. I sat there looking stupid, no doubt. "You're looking at a nursing program from what I could see in your records, but I think you have the gifts and talents necessary to be a pretty powerful physician. It's more schooling, but in ten, twenty years, you can use that and your business degree to run a hospital. I think that's something you should consider. I haven't seen someone with as much heart and head in my hospital since I started."
Tears burned my eyes. I was too sensitive for a conversation about my greatness. Partially because I didn't believe there was any.
"I'm sorry." I reached for a Kleenex and pressed it to my eyes. "Thank you for your kindness."
"No kindness here, Dana. I'm being honest. You should consider moving your masters from nursing and into medicine and taking up residence here, or I have some friends at St. Mark's that would love to have you. My stepbrother works up there and he's always looking for help. You could work in the nursing program until you get through your masters, and then we'll place you, or they will for residency. I talked with Aiden this morning."
"It's a lot to think about." I swallowed and moved back in my chair.
"It is. You're right. You and Kendal discuss it. I know he loves his position at UT, but NYU is right down the road from St. Mark's. They're a great school too." He brushed his fingers over his mouth as I continued to wipe at my eyes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him Kendal and I weren't together. Hell, I didn't have the heart to accept it.
"Thank you, Dr. Lewis."
"Nate when it's just us." He smiled warmly. "Would you be willing to chat with Dr. Aiden Crawford from St. Mark's? He's my stepbrother and is a brilliant brain surgeon."
I nodded. Anything that might mean I could run from my current situation, and I was in. Kendal wasn't going to be part of my future, but that honestly meant that Dallas wasn't either. I needed a clean break. A new start.
The universe was shifting and providence was throwing me a ray of sunlight. I couldn't have Kendal, but maybe I would have this.
"There are plenty of great scholarships. We can have Dani, my secretary, look up for NYU or UT for you. Just let me know which way you're headed and know that I'm here to help." He leaned back and clasped his hands over his chest.
"Thank you," I whispered and blotted at my eyes. "Forgive me for-"
"No need. Thanks for meeting with me today." I stood up and walked to the door, pausing only as he called out. "And Dana?"
"Yes, Sir?" I glanced over my shoulder.
"Make sure you take care of Kendal. He's a good man. His mother meant the world to my family. He d
eserves happiness."
"Yeah. He does." I closed the door behind me and resigned myself to depression for the rest of the day. Kendal did deserve every good thing that life could offer, but who the hell was I to think I could provide it?
I needed to talk to my sister, though it would kill me to do it. I needed to tell her to get back with him, to give him a future that would blow his mind.
She could do that. She was Ana.
***
"That was fun." Talon glanced over at me from the driver's side of his beat-up pickup truck. "You want me to take you back to your Mom’s or do you maybe wanna-"
"My Mom’s." I gave him a shy smile, feeling like shit for pretending to have a good time. The date wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. It felt like going out with a stranger that I never planned on seeing again. Weird. Awkward. A lie.
"Oh okay." He chuckled nervously. "I was just going to see if you wanted to have a drink back at my place."
"Maybe next time." Fuck. Had I just agreed to a next time? It wasn't happening. I'd have to tell Brandon to let his friend down softly. He'd set the poor guy up with his broken-hearted sister, he could let him down.
I was an idiot for agreeing to it.
"Oh yeah. For sure. Next time." He snorted and pulled up in my mother's driveway. "You want me to walk you to the door?"
"Nope." I opened the door and got out, turning back toward him. His spiky blond hair had enough mousse to last a week, his tattoos hot, but covering every inch of skin up to his throat. He not only wasn't Kendal, but he was the opposite of him. "But thank you."
"Yeah. Sure, and Dana." He leaned toward my seat and reached out.
I extended my hand to take his, feeling incredibly tense about what he was up to. "Yeah?"
"I really like you. I think we could be something special." He cleared his throat and released my hand. "You're a beautiful woman. Think about letting me be your man."
"You barely know me." I pulled my hand back slowly, trying not to offend him. He was nice enough, just not someone I would ever see myself with.
