Daisy smiled widely. “Yes. Exactly. What’s the title?”
“‘Break You/Broke Me,’” Cross told her.
“I love it! What do you all think?”
“I think…” Dixon spoke first. “It’s going to be fucking amazing. Let’s work on getting it right. Or should I just give you my guitar?”
He was fucking lucky the corner of his mouth turned up or he’d have gotten an earful from me.
Daisy just snorted and shook her head. “I mean… it might be easier if you did. I could also just sing both my and Ransom’s part. Cut out all the middlemen and get this done.”
The guys all roared with laughter as Barrett held up a hand in solidarity without breaking away from her work.
If I didn’t get my eyes off my girl and onto my work, that was all I’d be doing once we got to the venue. Couldn’t have that. I’d need at least half an hour alone with Daisy.
More if I could get it.
Chapter Seventeen
Daisy
By the end of the day on our bus, Courting Chaos and I had a fantastic handle on “Break You/Broke Me.” Lawson had Barrett looking into when would be the best time to at least record a rough cut of the song or even better, just a cut. He’d said that Craig, their producer, wanted to come out to wherever we were when we recorded.
My entire body hummed with an excitement that I almost couldn’t contain. This was another stepping block for Pushing Daisies at the hands of Courting Chaos. We were living our dream.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked Lawson that night after our first show in Houston. We had a two-show run, which meant we were in a hotel again. One of my favorite parts of being on tour. Sleeping on a bus so much really made a girl appreciate a comfy hotel bed. And Lawson’s hotel bed was incredibly comfortable.
Lawson and I had spent half an hour alone after we’d arrived at the venue and I was surprised one of my brothers hadn’t searched me out, only to find Lawson balls deep inside of me on the bus before heading into the venue for a quick shower. Ugh.
I really needed to talk to them. But we’d been so busy and tomorrow wouldn’t be an exception. I didn’t want this to be the focus of our tour though and knowing my brothers, this was all they’d think about. They’d been known to cold shoulder my boyfriends.
“Anything,” Lawson said, his voice sounding exhausted. We’d just made love again, this time slowly, taking our time with each other. His fingertips were lightly running up and down my spine as I nuzzled into his bare chest.
“Did you suggest I do the song with Courting Chaos?”
“No,” he told me. “It was Dixon’s idea, actually.”
“Really?” I pushed up to look at him.
“Yeah. You find that surprising?” He opened his eyes just enough to gaze down at me. “You’re amazing, Daisy. Everybody sees it and from what I heard, that song is going to be a fucking hit. It wasn’t before.”
“How do you know?” I slid back down against him. “You were working the whole time.”
“Woman, please. I was working, yes, but if you’re nearby, one eye is always on you.”
My chest filled with love. And that was exactly what it was. Love. I’d never really been in love before, so I hadn’t recognized the feeling at first. Now there was no doubt and I wasn’t going to start playing shy.
A nervous bundle of energy vied for space where that feeling of love had been.
Yes, I’d told him I was falling for him before but this somehow felt different. Neither of us had said the words since. Saying it first was risky. He might say it back. He might not. I was fine with that because me loving Lawson didn’t require him to love me back and everyone got there in their own time.
Maybe he’d been fine with me falling for him but now I was actually in love with him and wanted to tell him. But this dumb thing from high school kept playing in my mind. Bri had told me that her boyfriend broke up with her for being clingy because he felt her I love you came too quickly.
I sighed. This was something I needed to do, but also thinking of my only female friend other than the girls on tour made me realize that I hadn’t called her in a while. We’d been exchanging funny memes for like a month. That was another thing that needed to change.
Putting on my metaphorical big girl panties, I dropped a kiss to Lawson’s chest and took a deep breath. “I love you, Lawson.”
His fingers on my back stilled.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“I’m not expecting anything in return,” I said quickly. “This is just how I feel and want you to know.”
Lawson easily moved me onto my back and climbed over me. We were both still naked from our earlier activities and the feeling of his skin against mine had my body responding.
I’d never been this needy for another person in my life.
“You don’t expect anything in return?” he asked with a low voice. As if he didn’t want someone to overhear him, but we were alone.
I shook my head and swallowed hard. “I don’t want you to feel pressured. I swear. I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
He leaned and kissed me gently. “Daisy, I love you. Of course I love you. Honestly, I thought I’d already told you that.”
Tears stung the backs of my eyes, whether from his sweet words or a release of nervous energy, I didn’t know. “Really?
“You’re my everything,” he told me. His tone made it sound like this had been a foregone conclusion. Something I should’ve already known.
Before I could form a response, Lawson’s mouth was on mine, his tongue seeking out mine. Before I knew it, we were back on the road to making love again. Lawson moved slowly, gently, treating me as if I were precious. Like I was the only thing that mattered in the world. Like I was his world.
As we lay back in the same position in which this conversation had started, me pressing into his side, I said, “I was going to take a quick shower, but I don’t think I can stand right now.”
His low chuckle washed over me. “Yeah. That was three times today. I think I need a B-12 shot.”
I giggled into his chest. “I’ll just take one in the morning.”
“Good idea,” he told me as he kept me tightly to his side.
There were things we’d have to figure out eventually. Like I knew he lived in Chicago and I was in Detroit. Not a terribly long way to go, especially since I knew the guys of Courting Chaos had moved in with their girlfriends in Ann Arbor. We were all pretty close together.
But eventually, this tour would end and we’d have to decide if one of us was moving and what would happen when the next tour popped up. Being in a long-distance relationship was tough, I’d heard, but being without Lawson wasn’t something I ever wanted to think about.
I didn’t have much time in the morning and Lawson knew it too. He kissed me goodbye so I could get back to my own room and take a shower before meeting up with my brothers. I hoped to have a chance to talk to them.
Those hopes were dashed when Mack told us we had back-to-back interviews and meetings that required all of us in attendance. We weren’t alone for a minute the entire morning or afternoon. Hell, we had to almost run to soundcheck.
I had seen Lawson in the hallway once and had a pang of jealousy when I’d heard the other girls’ laughter float out into the hallway. But this was vacation for all of them, except Barrett. She was running around with Lawson getting things done. What things, I didn’t know. But I wanted to be hanging out with the girls on vacation, too.
We grabbed a quick dinner, just chicken, potatoes, and veggies with a side salad that Mack had delivered. Once again, I thought dinner would be the perfect time to talk to my brothers, but Mack spent the time on the phone while Van and Bonham were lost in their own little world.
Part of me wasn’t unhappy about this. Like the moment I spoke the truth to my brothers everything would change. I didn’t necessarily know why I felt that way. Only that they’d scared off guys in the past. But Lawson wasn’t a teenage boy.
He wouldn’t run away.
Yet I still wanted this just for him and me a little while longer.
Daltry and I chatted as we ate since everyone else was too busy to notice either of us. I’d asked Mack if his calls could wait and he said they couldn’t.
“Do you know if Mack has gotten more messages about me?” I asked him quietly to keep our oldest brother’s attention off our conversation.
“Yeah,” he told me with a sigh. “Unfortunately.”
“All right. When am I going to see these things?”
“Hopefully never.”
“Daltry!” I slammed my fork down harder than I should’ve. Hard enough to get the other three to glance over at us. “I should know what’s going on.”
He sat forward and folded his hands in front of him. “You do know, Daisy. But nobody should read that shit.”
“You obviously did.”
“You want to read about how this guy wants to keep you locked in a room so he can fuck you whenever he wants to?” he snapped loudly.
I swallowed hard. Not that the message he’d just told me about was worse than anything I’d been imagining, but actually hearing it was something altogether.
Mack abruptly ended his call as Van and Bonham quietly slid toward us. Glancing around, I found the workers who had been in the room scurrying to get out of there. A shiver of fear skittered up my spine.
After taking a calming breath, I said, “No. I guess I didn’t. But it’s just talk.”
“Just talk?” Daltry threw his hands up and let them smack against the table, vibrating the containers still holding our food. My brothers got irritated with me but never overly angry. They certainly didn’t yell at me often. We could all be loud, so there was yelling. But almost never yelling at me. “He was on our fucking bus.”
“That was weeks ago.” I took a deep breath. “I’m not saying I don’t want to be safe. I am safe. But I also have to live my life. And with our job, that includes meeting fans.”
He was already shaking his head. “That can wait.”
“It can’t wait forever.” I quickly wet my lips and came up with a compromise. “So nobody backstage.”
“Lawson won’t OK that,” Mack told me.
No. He definitely would not.
“Like I said. Nobody backstage. Then why don’t we go out to the crowd? All of us. You guys will be there. I’m sure Cal will be there. Everybody will fucking be there, but come on. This is our break, guys. We can’t fuck this up.”
Silence fell over all of us as my brothers stared at me, though Daltry was still quite angry. His nostrils flared as he breathed in. Then they looked to each other. Whatever happened in their lives that had given them the ability to have a four-way silent conversation had never happened to me.
“Fine,” Mack finally answered. “We’ll go out. But I swear to God, Daisy—"
“I promise.” I held my hand up as if I were being sworn in for court. “I’ll be right with you, but I don’t want this to tank because I can’t go near fans. Or because some crazy dude has taken a liking to me.”
“Taken a liking?” Daltry spat my way. His level of anger made me believe that there were a lot more bad things in those messages. A lot worse than anything they’d ever tell me. “Fucking hell, Daisy. People have been murdered by this kind of fan.”
“I know,” I said quietly. “And it’s been reported to police.” It may or may not have been his intention, but the courage I’d been feeling only moments before… the I-have-to-live-my-life feeling, was beginning to fade. Locking me up in a tower forever might not have been the worst idea ever.
“It has been reported,” Van told me. “But that doesn’t do shit until after something happens to you.”
I knew that, too.
“If you’re going to do exactly what we say out there and not get far away from us,” Mack told me, “we’ll go.”
We all dropped our trash into the can on our way out of the room and headed for the door that would lead us out to the buses. That was typically where fans congregated before the show.
Barrett slid up beside me. “What’s going on? Why does your wall of muscle seem so tense?”
She meant my brothers.
“We had a little conversation,” I told her.
“About La—”
“No,” I said quickly to keep her from finishing that question. “I insisted we go mingle with the fans a bit.”
“Shit,” she muttered. “I’ll see you later.” Then she dropped back away from our group.
As we rounded the one bus that had been strategically parked so the crowd couldn’t see beyond it, the sound of screaming fans grew. When we’d come out of the door, which they couldn’t see, there’d just been chatter.
My brothers and I spread out to work the crowd a little. The women were giddy because apparently my brothers were hot. I knew they were, but the thought of it thoroughly disgusted me. I signed things and leaned in for selfies. I was told I was a badass more times than I could’ve counted.
Some of the guys pulled me a little closer than I’d intended, but Mack was right behind me. Until Lawson called him over. It didn’t take more than a glance to know how pissed off Lawson was with his jaw of steel, arms folded over his chest, and narrowed eyes, but he’d have to get over it. This was our career here.
“Daisy,” one guy called out, so I scooted that way.
“How ya doin?” I asked him, which was the same thing I’d asked every person so far. It was an easy go-to. He was a big guy, blonde hair, clean shaven. Honestly, a little too clean cut if anyone asked me.
“Fantastic now. I’m a huge fan.” His voice was deep but completely gentle.
“Of us or Courting Chaos? Or both?”
“You,” he told me, but the way he said it sounded like he meant me, not the band.
“That’s awesome. I hope you enjoy the show.” I took his ticket, which he’d been handing to me, and scribbled my name across it. First thing you learn when you start getting plans was to always bring a sharpie with you when you great the fans.
“Oh, I will,” he said. “I’ve been to most of this tour.”
Warning alarms went off throughout my body. Something in my sixth sense told me to get away from this guy. Before I could, he clasped onto both of my arms and pulled me to him making me drop the pen along the way. His mouth was on mine as I struggled against his much bigger body, the metal of the barrier digging into my stomach and my right wrist turned in an unnatural way as it pressed against the barrier.
I pulled and yanked as his tongue slid into my mouth. Him smothering me made it incredible difficult to breathe. My heart beat so fast, it was making me lightheaded.
Panic. This was panic.
That was when the male voices rose around me. Heavy footsteps battered the cement, getting louder until a large mass forced its way between me and the fan. I stumbled backward but didn’t fall.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Lawson yelled as he grabbed ahold of the tall blond, dragging the guy toward him. The metal barrier was the only thing keeping Lawson from dragging him to the ground.
Fuck, that had been disgusting. I’d never felt violated like that in my life. Even with the guy on the bus. He’d never touched me there. He’d violated my personal space but not assaulted me. It was hard to keep track of what was going on as I worked to regain my balance and composure, but Lawson had the guy by his shirt and they were struggling. “Cal!” he called out.
Damn. There were cameras everywhere. Flashes went off around me and I’d bet everything I had that more than one person was filming, possibly live streaming.
This incident would be everywhere in no time.
Cal ran up and blocked my view even further as security swarmed the area, putting themselves between the guy and my brothers. There was so much yelling, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. It was just a loud chorus of angry male voice.
My body shook with terror and relief.
“Daisy?” Laws
on was suddenly all I could see. “Come on.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me away as my brothers were still yelling and something metal hit the ground. There was screaming from the crowd.
It was all too much.
We turned behind the bus to where no one would be able to see us. Lawson pulled me to a stop with my back leaning against the bus.
“Daisy,” he said more gently, making me finally look up him. “Are you OK?”
I gave a full body shake, like a dog who’d just gotten out of water. As if I could shake the feeling of that guy touching me off.
“I’m OK,” I told him. “My wrist hurts a little from pushing against the barrier.” I bent it back and forth, testing it to see if it was hurt or injured. There was a difference. It was just hurt. Lawson was standing impossibly close to me. “I think it’s OK. He was holding me so tightly that I might end up with little bruises.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “I’m going to go kill that guy.” He moved like he was really about to head back there and that couldn’t happen for so many reasons.
“Don’t leave me alone,” I told him, my voice sounding as vulnerable as I felt right then.
“Never,” he said quietly. “You’re the only reason I’m not still over there. What else?”
I took a quick inventory of myself and only found one other thing. Other than the fact that I’d just had the life scared out of me. “Ugh. I can still taste him.” I touched my lips. The remnants of mint and tobacco lingered on my tongue. “Fucking disgusting.”
Lawson’s jaw tensed so hard, I thought I could hear his teeth mashing together.
“I can take that away if you want me to,” he said. I furrowed my brows, not knowing what he meant. “If you let me kiss you, which I really need to do right now, I can take that away. But I won’t do it if you’re not ready for that or don’t want me to.”
Yeah. That made sense. “Definitely kiss me then.”
His mouth was on mine before I’d finished speaking. Lawson fisted a hand in my hair while using the other arm to hold me tightly around the waist and drag me toward him. His tongue searched my mouth for something… probably reassurance that I was fine, which I was physically. The guy had just scared me.
Daisy (Pushing Daisies Book 1) Page 16
