Letting Go

by Kennedy, Sloane

  Chapter 10

  Casey was just returning from a walk with Sampson the next morning when Mr. Sterling pulled up in a cab. He got out of the car and strutted past her, a smug expression on his face. Disappointed, Casey watched him disappear into the townhouse. So she hadn’t been able to make Devlin understand after all. That fact hadn’t surprised her but deep down she had hoped he would be different. But people never seemed to see what was right in front of them. She took in a deep, cool breath and made a decision. Despite her temporary presence in their life, she would do everything in her power to make sure that Ryan and Isabel knew that they were special – that they were someone. Maybe if she did it well enough then they would have something to hold onto when people like Devlin and her parents tried to bring them down.

  Once inside the house, she heard raised but muffled voices coming from the study. She imagined that Mr. Sterling was giving it to Devlin with both barrels. He was probably insisting that Devlin fire her. Too little, too late she thought as she made her way up the stairs towards her room. Before she made it to her door, she heard Isabel and Ryan come tearing down the hall.

  “Hi Casey,” they shouted as they ran towards her. The use of her first name didn’t surprise her as she had insisted they start calling her by it when she had started acting as their nanny. They had resisted at first for fear that Devlin would find out but now it flowed naturally off their tongues.

  “Where are you off to?” she asked as she glanced at their clothes. Gone were Isabel’s dresses and Ryan’s slacks. Ryan was wearing jeans and a plain red sweatshirt while Isabel was sporting overalls with a turtleneck underneath.

  “Daddy’s gonna fix the greenhouse and he says we can help!” Ryan announced happily as he rushed past her and down the stairs.

  “Are you gonna help?” asked Isabel, her hair still in the special braid that Casey had done for her again that morning.

  “Um, maybe later. Have fun, okay?” The little girl nodded and followed Ryan down the stairs. Casey entered her room, deep in thought. She glanced at her watch. It was the middle of the morning on Monday. Ryan was supposed to be starting his lessons soon. She had imagined that Devlin would have been back at his office bright and early since his return only yesterday. Going to her window, she glanced outside at the greenhouse. She saw Isabel and Ryan, along with Sampson and Devlin’s father, emerge from the house and hurry to the small glass structure. She hadn’t even realized Devlin’s parents were here; they must have arrived while she’d been on her walk with Sampson. A few moments later, Devlin and his mother appeared. Devlin was dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a loose work shirt. Stunned and terribly curious, Casey sat in the bay window and watched the group.

  Devlin and Sean disappeared into the shed. Devlin came out with a huge trashcan and said something to his mother. Marilyn directed the two kids into the greenhouse and they began carrying out the dead, rotted plants and dumping them into the trashcan. When her eyes once again found Devlin, she was surprised to find his gaze on her. He was standing near the shed where his father was hunched over some piece of equipment that probably powered the greenhouse. At his intent stare, Casey stood and left the window. She didn’t see Devlin lean down to Ryan and Isabel and say something as his finger pointed to her window.

  ***

  Within ten minutes, the two pairs of puppy dog eyes had done their job and Casey found herself at work in the greenhouse. Devlin’s parents had greeted her warmly but the man himself had only given her a polite nod. She had been surprised to see none of the same coldness in his eyes when she’d flung those harsh truths at him. More surprising was his demeanor with the children as they played and worked. Instead of a sharp rebuke when Ryan dropped a pot and dirt flew everywhere, Devlin had ignored the horrified look on his son’s face and given him a light pat on the shoulder and then proceeded to help him clean up the mess. Both kids were covered head to toe in a layer of dirt and snow but he didn’t seem to care. Hope flowed through her briefly as she wondered if maybe he had heard her words. But then she remembered Mr. Sterling’s presence that morning. No, it was more likely that Devlin’s attitude change was a show for his parents and nothing more. Casey returned her attention to her work and didn’t spare Devlin Prescott another glance.

  ***

  Two days later and in the middle of the night, Casey stood in what looked like a tropical forest. The greenhouse was finished and Devlin’s special order of plants and exotic flowers had arrived just that morning. The heat in the small building caused the hair at the nape of her neck to cling to her damp skin. She was in awe of the fact that she stood in the middle of paradise while a fierce winter storm was beginning to brew outside. This was already her third trip to the greenhouse. The smell of the blooms and the softness of the petals seemed to call to her. She couldn’t remember ever having seen anything as beautiful before. As she walked down the length of the small building, she stopped and took in the scent of each type of flower. Since the heat from inside caused the windows to fog up, she didn’t see Devlin until he was already inside the building. She whirled around at the sound of the door opening. He was as equally startled to see her.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” he said lamely.

  “I was just going back to bed.” She started to move past him but he stepped in her path but made no move to touch her.

  “Please don’t go.” He watched her take several steps back from him, her defenses instantly up, her eyes wary. He looked around as if trying to come up with something to say. “I never thanked you for your help with the greenhouse.” She didn’t respond. His eyes trapped hers and held them. “Thank you,” he said softly. Casey knew instantly that he wasn’t thanking her for the greenhouse at all.

  “It’s beautiful. I’m glad you decided to restore it.”

  He studied her for a long moment. She shifted nervously as if preparing herself for some verbal assault. “After my wife took her own life,” he began. His words caught for a moment before he continued. “Afterwards, I assumed the greenhouse would just take care of itself, you know. I mean, it had everything it needed to live, right? But if I had just taken a closer look, I would have known something was wrong. I would have been able to prevent what happened.” He hesitated and dropped his eyes to the ground. “But it just never occurred to me that my attention was necessary. I won’t make that mistake again,” he vowed as he lifted his eyes to meet hers again. Casey held her breath as she realized the meaning behind his words.

  Devlin watched her as she put together what he was trying to tell her. So many times he had wanted to go up to her room and apologize for his unforgivable behavior towards her. From the moment she had set foot into his house, she had surprised him at every turn. He’d done nothing but criticize and humiliate her and when she had acted in the best interest of his own son, he had raged at her. Now all he wanted to do was take away the pain he had caused her but he didn’t know how. Helplessness like he had never known went through him. “How do you do it?” The words were out before he could stop them.

  “Do what?”

  Sadness came over him then and he didn’t answer her. If he pursued the issue, he would only cause her more hurt.

  “Nothing,” he said as he shook his head. “Um, I wanted to let you know that a hearing date has been set for February 2nd. I also have to go out of town again this week starting tomorrow but I’ll be back in time for Saturday’s dinner.” He turned to leave but then stopped and turned to face her. “For what it’s worth, I fired Mr. Sterling. I know that apologizing to you can’t even begin to make up for the way I’ve treated you but I hope you won’t hold it against the children.” He studied her for a long moment and then smiled sadly. “No, you wouldn’t do that, would you?” With that, he left the greenhouse.

  More confused than ever, Casey watched him go. She had never seen him look so broken before. He had confirmed what she had already begun to suspect; he was trying to rebuild his relationship with his son. So why did
he look so lost and confused? What did he still want? The question stayed with her that night and in the days that followed.

  ***

  With Devlin gone again and no tutor in sight, Casey’s role with the children expanded to include daily schooling. Luckily, her lack of a high school diploma didn’t play a significant role since Ryan was only seven and still at a stage in his educational career that even Casey could keep up with. She did it more to keep the kids in the habit of being in school and doing homework than anything else. The morning cab lessons also continued. Devlin’s reconnection with his son had done wonders with the boy’s confidence and he was soon sitting on the dirty vinyl seats with the engine running. The only thing left was to get the door closed and put the car in motion. But as close to her goal as she was, Casey never forced him or urged him in any way. Any action he took was done on his own without coercion.

  To Casey’s astonishment and the children’s’ delight, Devlin called via video each night while he was away in order to talk Ryan and Isabel and to wish them a good night. The kids were so excited after talking to him that it was all she good do to get them into bed.

  As the weekend loomed closer, Casey started to worry about the dinner she had agreed to go to with Devlin. Their relationship was strained to its limit and the idea of spending even one night with him left her in knots and having to pretend she was something she wasn’t around his friends made her cringe. But even as difficult as things had been between them, she didn’t want to embarrass him so she’d just have to figure out a way to become someone she wasn’t.

  ***

  Devlin carefully studied his reflection in the ornately gold-framed mirror in the front entryway. Not a hair out of place. He adjusted the cuff links on his wrists and then glanced at his watch. They were already running ten minutes late.

  “Be careful with her,” came a soft voice from his left. Devlin turned to see his mother studying him carefully. She and his father had gladly agreed to baby-sit for the evening.

  “With who? You mean Casey?” he asked.

  “She is but a child herself.”

  “I assure you mother, this is strictly business.”

  “Darling, she’s not one of your mergers,” Marilyn replied as she moved to his side and straightened his bow tie even though it was already straight.

  “Everything’s under control,” he responded, ending the conversation. His sharp witted mother had suspected why Casey was here and Devlin had finally confirmed his mother’s suspicions but hadn’t revealed more than the basic facts. Luckily, she hadn’t pried further because Devlin wasn’t ready to explain the relationship that had developed between him and the young woman. How could he explain something he didn’t understand himself?

  In addition to his confusing feelings for Casey he was also finding that his work no longer excited him like it used to. Instead of anticipating the conquest of furthering his company with each business transaction he made, Devlin found himself thinking about which meetings he could skip or pawn off on one of his staff members so that he could get home sooner. His budding relationship with his son had torn something wide open inside and his need to be a good father had suddenly become his first priority. The sight of his son down on hands and knees cleaning up a wet floor had rattled him more than he wanted to admit. After Jennifer’s death, Devlin had realized that he hadn’t given her the attention she needed but he hadn’t realized he was doing the same thing with his son. He had been on autopilot for so long that he had missed what was right in front of him. If Casey hadn’t had the courage to call him on it he would have continued to be oblivious and he could have lost his son too.

  When his thoughts drifted to Casey he had to steel his body against the immediate pain of being so close to her but so far away. He had tried to keep it all business between them but his heart wasn’t cooperating. His desire for her had him on edge whenever she was near and he found her invading his thoughts at all times of the day. He had promised himself that he would stay away from her but he knew more and more every day that is was going to be a promise he couldn’t keep.

  “Honey,” his mother said softly.

  Ripped from his thoughts, Devlin looked at her and then followed her gaze upwards. She was stunning. Her rich, golden hair was piled in a layer of curls on her head, shimmering like silk wherever the light caught it. A few strategically placed long curls hung down her back and around her face. Long, thick black lashes framed her dark green eyes and a touch of blush brightened her flawless complexion. Even the scar was virtually invisible. Her silver, floor length gown swirled around her like liquid glass as she moved. The back of the dress was high, but the front dipped low enough to show her bare neck and collarbone. Elbow length silver gloves, a matching purse and high-heeled shoes completed the ensemble.

  When she reached the bottom stair, Devlin’s eyes connected with hers. He had expected to find some sign of anxiety or fear but instead he saw only indifference. Her own transformation clearly didn’t impress her and he was amazed to realize that as beautiful as she looked he missed the real her. There was no light in her eyes – it was like she had checked out the moment she stepped into that killer dress. Devlin heard his mother cough softly behind him and realized he had yet to say anything. His mother beat him to it.

  “You look beautiful my dear,” she said. Casey gave her a polite nod but said nothing.

  “You’ve outdone yourself Julia,” Devlin said to Julia who was standing proudly behind Casey.

  “Thank you sir.” Julia placed a matching silk wrap around Casey’s shoulders.

  “Are you ready to go?” Devlin asked. Again, she only nodded, her expression blank.

  ***

  Inside the limo, Devlin tapped his fingers impatiently on his knee. Casey had moved as far away from him as she possibly could, her slim body pressed into the door. She had calmly crossed her legs, placed her purse in her lap and then clasped her hands over the purse. Her eyes were staring out the window. Unnerved by the silent tension, Devlin fought the urge to fix himself a drink. How had they gotten to this point? A few weeks ago when he had come up with this farce it had made perfect sense. But he sensed that the closer they got to their destination, the farther away his Casey went.

  “We don’t have to do this” he finally said.

  “It’s fine” she responded coolly.

  “Casey-“

  “It’s fine. It’s for Isabel” she said firmly and it was clear that was all he was going to get out of her.

  ***

  The richly luxurious Pierre hotel was alight with activity when their limo pulled up. Within moments, the beautifully matched couple was turning heads as they made their way up the red carpet and into the Grand Ballroom. To Devlin’s surprise, Casey placed her hand in the crook of his arm and placed an elegant smile on her lips as they made their way into the fabulously appointed room. The moment they stepped inside, Devlin automatically began to network. He shook all the right hands, kissed the right cheeks and said all the right things. But it was his introduction of Casey that proved to be the most entertaining. Full of charm and grace, she made small talk, shook hands, nodded politely, smiled artfully and managed to obtain three invitations to various society events before they had even reached their table at the front of the room.

  Devlin seated her before taking his own seat at the exquisitely set table. He quickly introduced Casey to the two couples already seated at the beautifully set table. As she made conversation with the two other women, one the wife of Devlin’s Chief Executive Officer and the other the wife of the head of the hospital, Devlin tried to focus on the conversation the two men were having but he found himself watching her instead. It was as if she had been born into the role and if he hadn’t known it was all a sham he would have fallen prey to her charm as well. She didn’t overstate anything – she was the consummate actress and the two older women were buying it all. They raved over her dress and how beautiful she looked to which she dutifully complemented them both on
their appearance. When they inquired about her past and asked her how she had come to know Devlin, he prepared to step in and rescue her.

  “We actually met in Paris,” Casey said softly. She paused as if remembering the day. “I was studying art and our latest assignment was to draw something that intrigued us and in doing the drawing, we had to find what it was that had drawn us to the object in the first place. I thought it would be an easy assignment to complete but days and days went past and while I found many things that intrigued me, nothing came of my drawings. And then I saw him.” She turned and glanced at Devlin who, by now, was watching her with open curiosity. The other two men at the table had abandoned their conversation to listen to her story as well.

  “He was sitting at a small café near a park with a beautiful fountain and flowers everywhere. I sat down on a bench to watch him for a moment and then I picked up my sketchbook and began to draw. I drew for nearly an hour and when I was done I had found what had intrigued me so.”

  “What was it?” asked one of the women almost breathlessly.

  “There we were, surrounded by all this beauty and life and yet he never looked up from his work. Not once.” Casey again turned her gaze on Devlin but this time she held it as she spoke. “At first I pitied him for all that he was missing. But then I looked down at my picture and noticed what I had drawn – it was passion. Whatever was on that paper that had held his attention for so long was something he was passionate about. And it occurred to me then that in all the time that he had been sitting there so enamored with his work, that I had spent that same amount of time enamored with him, with my drawing. And not once did I look up and enjoy the beauty and life that I had so pitied him for not noticing.”